#SayNoToDating2015

Before I begin, I’m largely aware that I am using social media to protest against social media. That’s the beauty of it.

For me, 2015 will be an interesting year. I’m going on a 2 month trip to and around America, with half of it being by myself. This itself is an amazing feat because I’ve never even left the country, and I also have an enormous hatred/fear of flying and anything to do with aviation (pilots and air force excluded, God bless your souls).

On top of that, I will also not be doing any form of dating or romantic intimacy with anyone this year.

saynotodating2015

I’ve already written about this situation, but from my perspective, it’s getting worse and worse: social media has too many negative influences on dating. Gone are the days when a couple would meet at a dinner function, or the classic “I-spilled-coffee-on-you-and-then-we-started-chatting” situation. Now, people rely too heavily on social media to make a personal connection with someone and I don’t understand how people can expect a personal relationship with someone if the method of contact is so impersonal.

It’s not that I have a problem with online dating; in fact, I’m all for it if that’s how people choose to meet. However, when it gets to the point that it’s more of a “social media relationship”, then I think people need to step back and get a clear perspective.

In dot point form, here are some of the notes that I am specifically protesting against:
[x] Instead of worrying about what to wear when you meet the in-laws, you’re too busy worrying about how your lover has opened your Snapchat but hasn’t replied straight away.
[x] Now that you have him/her on all forms of social media – Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. – you have too much of an insight into their personal life, one you wouldn’t have had 10 years ago when none of this existed. You freak out when you see that they have just become friends with someone of the opposite sex, or someone of the opposite sex has liked one of their Instagram photos. You have created this entire problem in your head just because of it.
[x] Along with this personal insight, you also happen to know where your lover is at all times. When he/she messages you on Facebook, it’ll say where they are. If you don’t recognise the place they’re at, you’ll freak out. Thus, creating another problem in your head.
[x] Nude photos. OMG. Please stop. If you want your lover to see you and your naked bits, here’s a fancy idea… GO TO THEIR HOUSE AND SHOW THEM.
[x] If you unfortunately happen to break up with your lover, here are how things would’ve happened 10 years ago and here are how things will happen now. 10 years ago, you just stopped calling each other and seeing each other. Now, you have to block them from all forms of social media, delete their phone number, and cancel your Google alert subscription to their name. But then you’re too intrigued about their life and what they’re doing after they broke up with you, so you’ll just go and unblock them anyway. Or, if you’re that intense, you’ll use a friend’s social media account to “stalk” them. All that just to break up with someone? No thank you.

#SayNoToDating2015 is my own personal little campaign protesting against the negative influences social media has on dating. While I understand the need to adapt to changes over the years and have done so accordingly, I don’t think it’s necessary for everyone to become so impersonal when it comes to communication with other people in a romantic way. Dating used to be such an uncomplicated thing and now, well, it’s screwed. Social media should be a tool we use to help build strong relationships with strong foundations, not forge faulty ones that are gonna break with a slight breeze.

Of course, contrasting opinions are welcome. Not that it’ll change my view on #SayNoToDating2015.

– by Noah La’ulu

Social media has ruined dating

“Oh my god, I can’t believe he has another girl in his Snapchat best friends!”

This one sentence is a prime example of how social media has ruined 21st century dating.

(EDITOR’S NOTE: after a lengthy absence, Solstice Satisfaction is back and sassier than ever. Keep tuning in to be entertained in that sassy way only SolSat can do)

Back in the day, couples were more focused on what to wear to their first date or what movie to watch or even what is the surname of their potential date. Now with social media – coupled with the fact that “social media stalking” can give you a ton of information on your date before you have even met him/her – people are more focused on how many girls he’s following on Instagram and why this one guy keeps liking all of her bikini pictures on Facebook.

"OMG he's seen my Snap but hasn't replied. He's SO cheating on me!"

“OMG he’s seen my Snap but hasn’t replied. He’s SO cheating on me!”

A couple of my girlfriends have expressed their concerns with their significant other because:
1) He has a picture with his ex on Facebook that he has neglected to delete or
2) He has other girls in his Snapchat best friends.

Girl bye, why is this even a problem? Even without social media, your fella/lady will still have other friends of the opposite sex. You just weren’t privy to this information beforehand because you couldn’t see what they were doing 24/7.

That’s where the major problem in social media/dating lies: at the touch of a button, you can see who someone is with, what movie they’re watching, what book they’re reading and where they are. All of that information in about 10 seconds tops. In a way, social media has made it “okay” to stalk someone to the point of knowing everything about them, even before they’ve met you. Sometimes you’ll find things that you wish you didn’t see and you will overthink the situation to the point where you have planned out an entire altercation with your loved one before it has even happened.

It’s important to remember that people will always have lives outside of you, so who cares if your boyfriend is following other girls on Instagram or if your boy Snapchats girls that aren’t you? Are you going to shut her out because he has a life? Are you going to withold sex from him because he talks to girls that aren’t you?

Sometimes ignorance really is bliss. Maybe it is better for everyone to settle their sweet horses down, hop in the river, and just go with the flow. Oh, and stop being a stalker.

That’s rich coming from me as I like to use my “investigative journalistic” skills on people sometimes, but at least I admit I’m a social creep.

I’m sure your relationship will be more enjoyable if you stay out of each other’s social lives.

– by Noah La’ulu

You Know What Sh!ts Me?: Facebook Laundromats

You know what really shits me?

Today’s topic: Facebook laundromats… in other words, people who constantly put their dirty laundry on Facebook.

When Facebook politely asks you in that little clever box at the top of your newsfeed “What’s on your mind?”, they don’t really want to know what’s on your mind. It is not an invitation to delve deep into your inner psyche and let it all out for the whole world and their pets to find out.

No one cares about your dirty laundry. Not this chick. She's reading a book. (SOURCE: Gideon's Flickr photostream)

No one cares about your dirty laundry. Not this chick. She’s reading a book. (SOURCE: Gideon’s Flickr photostream)

Some people have trouble differentiating between what is appropriate to post on Facebook and what isn’t appropriate… and uploading a status talking about how your boyfriend left you and you wish nothing but death upon him is actually very inappropriate. But who cares? Whatever works, right?

WRONG.

What you are doing is creating unnecessary drama by putting your personal problems out there for everyone to see. What you are doing is giving people more ammunition to use against you in case the opportunity ever arise. What you are doing is making a complete fool of yourself by turning to social media for sympathy when your best friend is just a simple phone call away.

My philosophy on this is simple: if you are my friend, I care about you. If you have a problem, I will do my best to help you with your problem. If you post this problem on Facebook and expect sympathy from me, stop wasting your time because zero fucks are given about your issue when you’re waving it around on social media.

You know the saying (however it goes)… “people don’t care about your problems, they just want to know what’s going on.” It applies to this very case. What you may think is a very cryptic status could very well paint a larger picture than you intended. “Feels alone :(” could easily translate into “My girlfriend won’t spend time with me because I’m an arsehole and now I regret it.” Your attempt at being incognito failed. Maybe you would have been better off not saying anything at all, huh?

What shits me even more is when these people who air their dirty laundry for the world to see are confused as to why people think it’s okay to involve themselves into their drama. I don’t know, whose fault is it – the idiot who made it publicly viewable for everyone to see and therefore have an opinion on, or Barney the dinosaurs? Definitely not Barney. If you don’t want people to involve themselves in your personal drama, DON’T INVOLVE THEM BY PUTTING IT ON SOCIAL MEDIA. It’s really quite simple, actually.

If you have problems like I’m sure everyone does, seek out help personally. Even if we live in the digital age, driving to your mate’s place or calling your mum late at night to help you has not gone out of fashion. In fact, I’m sue you could resolve a problem easier that way than asking however many Facebook friends you have for advice because they won’t care… they’ll just want to know what’s going on.

So, everyone on Facebook, I have five words for you that should have a long-lasting effect on you: think about what you post.

– by Noah La’ulu

What I Miss About You, Bebo

I don’t know about you, but as a young youth growing up in Sydney (say between the ages of 13 and 16), the go to social networking site was Bebo. Sure, MySpace and Hi-5 were around back then, but Bebo was the one that all the cool kids went on.

Share the luv!

Share the luv!

Now, we have Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and Tumblr and all of the above, and pretty much no one uses Bebo anymore. Why? Because Bebo simply became outdated. It’s the unfortunate truth with trends – they all go out of fashion eventually. Regardless of this – and my love for Facebook – there are several things that I miss about that good ol’ red B.

What I miss about you…

[x] Share the luv. How grand was it pestering people to give you “luv” so your little love heart count could top that of your high school rivals. I specifically remember having a pretty damn high luv count compared to those of my high school classmates and I always felt the need to brag about it. How did I get such a high number of luv? Via pestering, of course. And “luv for luv”.

[x] Flash boxes. Remember how you could have a video or some other form of “flash box” play on your Bebo profile? Wasn’t that the coolest thing ever? I remember my first flash box was Control Myself by LL Cool J ft. Jennifer Lopez. I don’t even know why; I didn’t even like that song that much. After, however, I managed to get Pacman into my flash box and became the coolest kid on the block. Subtle JLo reference. It just added that extra zing to your profile to establish just who the hell you were in the land of Bebo.

[x] Top 16. You knew your relationship was real when you were in each others top 16. It was cool but also quite pressuring to establish your top 16 because if someone had you in their top 16 and the feelings weren’t reciprocated, well, that just made it awkward for everyone. Of course, to make sure this didn’t happen, there were always “I’ll put you in my top 16 if you put me in yours” conversations. Problem solved.

[x] Other halves. Aww. You had your friends, you had your top 16 friends, and then you had your other half. This person would get their own little space on your profile with a cute little message attached to them. The twelvies would always have their flavours of the week with “luv u bbygurl s2″ which was awkward because they always broke up like five minutes after. I can happily say I had under five other halves and they were never romantic counterparts.

[x] Photo stealing. How annoying is it if you want to steal someone else’s picture on Facebook and then re-upload it onto your own profile? That’s a long tedious procedure if you ask me. Back on Bebo, all you had to do was select the picture you wanted to steal, click “Copy”, pick an album to put it in, and voila – it’s there. No bruises or scratches.

[x] Custom skins. What was originally made famous on MySpace became a big thing on Bebo. While we’ve become accustomed to the Facebook blue default skin and probably couldn’t care less about it, the cool thing about Bebo was the option to pick a cool profile skin and jazz it up a bit. I once dabbled in creating my own Bebo skins and came up with cool WWE Diva skins, like Mickie James and Torrie Wilson. Complete with “Made by Noah La’ulu” tag, of course.

With news that Bebo is making a comeback and will be better than before, may we see the return of luv sharing, flash boxes and other halves? Hopefully. However, I will give my honest journo’s opinion – I don’t see Bebo toppling Facebook at this point in time. It’ll be nice to see them try, though.

Much luv to all of you SolSatters!

– by Noah La’ulu