#SayNoToDating2015 May Update

Couples pictures are cute, right? Right?

What better way to show all of your friends that you aren’t repulsive and that you’ve actually snagged yourself a boyfriend/girlfriend by posting it on social media? Sure, the odd status or tweet saying “With him <3″ or “Playing COD with the gf. This one’s a keeper” will suggest that you actually aren’t repugnant to the opposite/same sex, but there is no actual proof that they exist. So what do you do? You post a cute picture of you two… and I use the term “cute” rather loosely.

Whether it be a totes random selfie, or a picture taken by a kind stranger of y’all at a nice Chinese garden on your second year anniversary date, couples pictures have been a mainstay in social-media-relationship-bragging since the concept was born. They’re cute. They’re fun. They’re adorable. What could possibly go wrong?

"Let's take a cute couples picture while we still have the chance!"

“Let’s take a cute couples picture while we still have the chance!”

Uh oh. You’ve broken up. And now you have 1004 reminders of your failed relationship on your smartphone or your Facebook page. Now you have to go through the long process of deleting them one by one, should you choose to, so you don’t have to have that constant reminder flashing in front of your face.

But you’d rather not go through all of that trouble, right?

So it poses the question: are couple pictures really a wise idea?

Personally, I don’t see the point in them. In saying that, I’m not going to stop drop and roll every time a camera pops out and I am in the vicinity of my other half. If the right moment calls for it, then sure, I’ll strike a pose and put on my best duckface. But if it’s for the sake of putting a “cute” photo on social media just so everyone can see how OH EM GEE TOTES ADORBS we are, then no. I don’t see the point in them. You don’t have to justify your relationship by putting it on social media for everyone else to see and acknowledge. Be happy with who you are, who they are, and who you are together as a unit.

What I think most couples who are fans of those kinds of pictures don’t realise is that a lot of couples pictures are *GASP* really irritating. Like, I get you’re dating each other. I’ve received that message loud and clear 500 times a day for the past six months. Stupid pictures like “Eating breakfast together!” or “He just turned the TV on! Selfie time!” are pointless, unnecessary, and annoying.

If you just got engaged, however, or you’re posing for your tacky lovely wedding invitation photos, then sure. That’s a brilliant idea. Go for gold. Do whatever makes you happy. At least there is a purpose to it!

What bugs me about couple photos is that some of them are cheesy and tacky as hell, like the ones where the couple are in the middle of kissing and then BAM! Photo has been taken. Like what goes through your mind as you’re taking that? “Okay baby, let’s take a kissing picture. Now kiss me and don’t move until the flash goes off. Oh, and make sure your eyes are closed because, like, Becca won’t think it’s romantic unless both of our eyes are closed. Okay? Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…” News flash: they aren’t romantic. They’re stupid.

Or the typical wedding pictures of the couple holding hands walking barefoot on the beach looking deep into each other’s eyes with these obviously-posed smiles on their faces. Should I choose to have a wedding, I want the photographer to catch me and my other half in our natural habitat… or at least dressed up as Marvel characters while doing outrageous things, like throwing cake at each other or bashing each other with those giant inflatable hands. There’s an idea.

I’ll leave you with this update by finishing with the wise words of a young woman named Hilary Duff: “Turn the lights down low and kiss me in the dark, ‘cos when you’re touching me, baby I see sparks.”

I don’t actually know what that has to do with this post. But enjoy anyway.

– by Noah La’ulu

The Black Widow’s 30 Day Song Challenge

Having to remember to post a link to a song for 30 days is harder than it looks.

If you haven’t seen it around before (because I’m pretty sure these were floating around ages ago as well), there’s been a 30 Day Song Challenge fad surfacing on social media. What you do is you post a link to a song on your Facebook wall or Twitter profile with the day number and the reason why you’ve chosen said song. If it doesn’t make sense to you, it will soon.

30daysong

In honour of my 30 Day Song Challenge, I’ve decided to post it on here in its entirety, with a few comments attached to it so the reader can understand why I’ve chosen that piece of music.

Without further ado, here is my 30 Day Song Challenge:
Day 1 – Your favourite song
Sam Hunt – Cop Car. I have many favourite songs but this was the one that I thought of straight away. This song is so beautiful and knowing that bae (Hunt) originally co-wrote this for Keith Urban makes it that much greater.

Day 2 – Your least favourite song
Taylor Swift – Blank Space. I’ll keep my words short and sweet here, in fear of a defamation lawsuit, but I am not a fan of Taylor Swift.

Day 3 – A song that makes you happy
Sam Hunt – House Party. How could you not be happy when you listen to this song? I hate this music video though. So disappointed, Sam.

Day 4 – A song that makes you sad
Luther Vandross – Dance with My Father. In a similar manner, how can you not be sad when you listen to this song? I think of my father and start crying immediately.

Day 5 – A song that reminds you of someone
Chaka Demus and Pliers – Murder She Wrote. Tl;dr version of this story: for about the past seven years, I’ve called my best friend Rebecca “Maxine”, and it’s because of this song. It’s a nickname that actually sticks; I sometimes forget that her name isn’t Maxine.

Day 6 – A song that reminds you of somewhere
Ne-Yo – Can We Chill. My family had this album in our car for like the entire two years we lived in Goulburn, so now I have forever attached these tracks to my second favourite country town.

Day 7 – A song that reminds you of a certain event
Big and Rich – Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy). My first experience at CMC Rocks the Hunter was in 2013 and one of the headlining acts was Big and Rich, and they absolutely killed it with this song.

Day 8 – A song that you know all the words to
Nicki Minaj – Anaconda. Once rapped this entire song to my friend Cara on the way home from Manly. Was great.

Day 9 – A song that you can dance to
Little Big Town – Pavement Ends. Line dances for days.

Day 10 – A song that makes you fall asleep
Lana Del Rey – Ultraviolence. Dat soothing melody.

Day 11 – A song from your favourite artist
Love and Theft – Thinking of You (and Me). This was my first LNT song. Everyone knows that Love and Theft are my boys. Everyone should grab a copy of their new album Whiskey on my Breath, available February 10.

Day 12 – A song from a band you hate
5 Seconds of Summer – Amnesia. I can’t even describe how much I despise this song.

Day 13 – A song that is a guilty pleasure
Ariana Grande ft The Weeknd – Love Me Harder. Not a fan of Ariana, or the lyrics to this song, or even this Weeknd fella. But I love this song.

Day 14 – A song that no one would expect you to love
Megadeth – She Wolf. Being a country fan, no one expects me to like metal. But I do. And I have a special place in my heart for Megadeth.

Day 15 – A song that describes you
Ne-Yo – Beautiful Monster. My best friend said this song as soon as I asked “What’s a song that describes me?” Not sure if shade or compliment.

Day 16 – A song that you used to love but now hate
Iggy Azalea ft Rita Ora – Black Widow. This song is played too often on the radio and now I’m sick of hearing Rita Ora sing my alias name.

Day 17 – A song that you hear often on the radio
AronChupa – I’m an Albatraoz. I don’t even know what an albatraoz is, and I don’t want to know after hearing this ghastly song on the radio every five minutes.

Day 18 – A song that you wish you heard on the radio
Ashley Madison – Other than My Wife. Technically not a song, but I wish this ad was played on the radio. I don’t necessarily condone the message, but it’s so damn catchy.

Day 19 – A song from your favourite album
Love and Theft – Angel Eyes. Easily the best selling song from the album. I love my boys!!

Day 20 – A song that you listen to when you’re angry
Knife Party – Bonfire. It just sounds like an angry song, doesn’t it?

Day 21 – A song that you listen to when you’re happy
Paul Simon – You Can Call Me Al. How could you not be happy when listening to this song?!

Day 22 – A song that you listen to when you’re sad
Love and Theft – If You Ever Get Lonely. This song can make me cry almost instantly, as soon as I hear the intro.

Day 23 – A song that you want to play at your wedding
Ed Sheeran – Thinking Out Loud. Should I choose to get married and have a horrid wedding, this song will play. And I will proceed to do the entire dance.

Day 24 – A song that you want to play at your funeral
Love Spit Love – How Soon is Now? As soon as my coffin is being lowered into the ground, I want this song to be playing. And everyone can cry like Piper and Phoebe did at Prue’s funeral.

Day 25 – A song that makes you laugh
Rihanna – We Found Love. Tl;dr my best mate Alexia has a funny story pertaining to this song and I laugh every time I hear it.

Day 26 – Your birthday song*
Whitney Houston – I Will Always Love You. 29th January 1993 reprazent.

Day 27 – A song that you wish you could play
Frederic Chopin – Prelude in E Minor. I’ve always wished I could play this song on the piano. But I can’t. So.

Day 28 – A song that makes you feel guilty
Wiz Khalifa – We Dem Boyz. I think this is the same as a guilty pleasure?

Day 29 – A song from your childhood
Billie Piper – Because We Want To. Anyone who denies being a fan of Billie Piper as a child in the 90s is a fat liar.

Day 30 – Your favourite song at this time last year
Steve Grand – All-American Boy. I imagine this was my favourite song at this time last year because I always played it.

* The originaly 30 Day Song Challenge says day 26 should be “a song that you can play on an instrument”. However, the only song I can play is Mary Had a Little Lamb and I wasn’t about to put that up, so I changed it. Deal with it.

– by Noah La’ulu

#SayNoToDating2015 January Update

I’ve decided to do a monthly entry of my #SayNoToDating2015 campaign with my thoughts on cerain things that irritate me about dating in the social media world.

This entry: Snapchat and the way it interferes with a genuine relationship.

If you have the time to Snapchat pictures of your food, you have the time to read this article.

If you have the time to Snapchat pictures of your food, you have the time to read this article.

As a gentle disclaimer, I’m going to put it on the record that I do not hate Snapchat. I have an account myself that I check occasionally and use rarely. If I see something that I want others to see without the added stretch of uploading it to Facebook, coming up with a witty caption and then waiting for the likes and comments to roll in, I’ll just take a picture of it and put it on my Snapchat story. It really is a handy tool.

But like every handy tool, it certainly has its faults.

I use Snapchat mainly when I’m bored. I’ll be sitting in a lecture, evidently not listening, and then take snaps of people and inanimate objects and will label them with their names. Sure signs of bordem right there. When I’m out with friends having a real good time – a genuinely real good time – then I won’t have the time to whip out my phone, load an app and take a picture of it. I’ll be too busy having an awesome time, drinking awesome shooters and just soaking up each other’s awesomeness.

This Snapchat icon really looks into your soul, doesn't it?

This Snapchat icon really looks into your soul, doesn’t it?

Let’s face it: if you’re having real fun, you won’t be Snapchatting it. Why then, pray tell, do people take countless amounts of Snapchats when they’re out in a pub or a club and take annoying ten second videos of loud, irritating techno music going off as an array of coloured lights dart around the club, like we’ve never seen that before. Maybe I’ll pass one snap so others can see where you are and what you’re doing, but countless snaps? Please. If you have the time to take 300 seconds worth of pictures, girl bye.

Moving onto the dating portion of my rant, people who take awkwardly posed snaps of them and their better half with captions like “Cuddling with bae” and “Can’t get enough of him”. We get it. You’re dating someone. Whoop-dee-doo. Why don’t you do what you should be doing and genuinely enjoy their company and be with them and not around them?

Yes, there is a major difference of being with someone and being around them.

If society turns to a “Hold on, babe, let me take a picture of you for Snapchat so people know we’re out and we’re, like, in love and stuff” mindset, then we might as well elect Miley Cyrus to be the Prime Minister of Australia because they are both equally as bullshit as the other.

Here’s an idea, especially with Valentine’s Day looming around the corner. Leave your phones at home and go out and spend real time with your loved one without the added pressure of social media lingering in your minds. If you’re a busy body and you absolutely need your telecommunication device with you, put it on silent or plane mode if possible; shirk away the temptation of telling the social media world for the umpteenth time that, yes, you are indeed in a relationship, and just be with each other. I can promise you that if you be with each other and not around each other, your relationship will be much more healthy.

And, hell, if I see another dating couple at a restaurant swiping their thumbs on their smartphones instead of engaging in menaingful conversation, I may just have to do this to someone:

Y’all have been warned.

– by Noah La’ulu

#SayNoToDating2015

Before I begin, I’m largely aware that I am using social media to protest against social media. That’s the beauty of it.

For me, 2015 will be an interesting year. I’m going on a 2 month trip to and around America, with half of it being by myself. This itself is an amazing feat because I’ve never even left the country, and I also have an enormous hatred/fear of flying and anything to do with aviation (pilots and air force excluded, God bless your souls).

On top of that, I will also not be doing any form of dating or romantic intimacy with anyone this year.

saynotodating2015

I’ve already written about this situation, but from my perspective, it’s getting worse and worse: social media has too many negative influences on dating. Gone are the days when a couple would meet at a dinner function, or the classic “I-spilled-coffee-on-you-and-then-we-started-chatting” situation. Now, people rely too heavily on social media to make a personal connection with someone and I don’t understand how people can expect a personal relationship with someone if the method of contact is so impersonal.

It’s not that I have a problem with online dating; in fact, I’m all for it if that’s how people choose to meet. However, when it gets to the point that it’s more of a “social media relationship”, then I think people need to step back and get a clear perspective.

In dot point form, here are some of the notes that I am specifically protesting against:
[x] Instead of worrying about what to wear when you meet the in-laws, you’re too busy worrying about how your lover has opened your Snapchat but hasn’t replied straight away.
[x] Now that you have him/her on all forms of social media – Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. – you have too much of an insight into their personal life, one you wouldn’t have had 10 years ago when none of this existed. You freak out when you see that they have just become friends with someone of the opposite sex, or someone of the opposite sex has liked one of their Instagram photos. You have created this entire problem in your head just because of it.
[x] Along with this personal insight, you also happen to know where your lover is at all times. When he/she messages you on Facebook, it’ll say where they are. If you don’t recognise the place they’re at, you’ll freak out. Thus, creating another problem in your head.
[x] Nude photos. OMG. Please stop. If you want your lover to see you and your naked bits, here’s a fancy idea… GO TO THEIR HOUSE AND SHOW THEM.
[x] If you unfortunately happen to break up with your lover, here are how things would’ve happened 10 years ago and here are how things will happen now. 10 years ago, you just stopped calling each other and seeing each other. Now, you have to block them from all forms of social media, delete their phone number, and cancel your Google alert subscription to their name. But then you’re too intrigued about their life and what they’re doing after they broke up with you, so you’ll just go and unblock them anyway. Or, if you’re that intense, you’ll use a friend’s social media account to “stalk” them. All that just to break up with someone? No thank you.

#SayNoToDating2015 is my own personal little campaign protesting against the negative influences social media has on dating. While I understand the need to adapt to changes over the years and have done so accordingly, I don’t think it’s necessary for everyone to become so impersonal when it comes to communication with other people in a romantic way. Dating used to be such an uncomplicated thing and now, well, it’s screwed. Social media should be a tool we use to help build strong relationships with strong foundations, not forge faulty ones that are gonna break with a slight breeze.

Of course, contrasting opinions are welcome. Not that it’ll change my view on #SayNoToDating2015.

– by Noah La’ulu