I have been dating this guy for the past month or so. We agreed not to be exclusive at the beginning and I was fine with that. Recently, I’ve started to develop feelings for him and I want to be exclusive with him. He is also dating another girl so I don’t know how to go about it. Help!
Serious Relationship Girl
Dear Serious Relationship Girl,
In the words of Brandy and Monica’s successful duet The Boy is Mine, you should make it clear to the other woman that boy is in fact yours… in a less aggressive way.
Start off by having “the talk” with this bloke. You may be dreading having “the talk” but it is necessary. Sit him down over a dinner or something else that he really likes (so he’s more susceptible to being putty in your hands as opposed to taking him shopping for make-up or something) and tell him how you feel. Build up the courage to talk to him (it’s easier said than done, I know, but it has to be done), open up and say that you want to take your relationship to the next level and see if he’s open to it. Chances are is that he’ll at least be open to discussion and won’t be a total asshole; if he was, it’d be that much easier for you to kick him to the kerb.
If he is as good as you think he is, then he’ll agree to take things to the next level or at least discuss it. If you’re afraid that he might want to stay as you are, then you have two choices: 1) Do what he wants to keep him happy and keep dating him knowing that he’s still seeing Brandy (or Monica, whichever camp you prefer) or 2) Get yourself out of this predicament entirely, in case you turn into a jealous wreck who will eventually scare the poor bloke off anyway. I can assure you that keeping your feelings to yourself and not having “the talk” will turn you into said jealous wreck.
In the end, everything happens for a reason. If he sees the light and decides to make you his and only his, all the power to you two. If not, there is an even better guy out there who will make you his. I know it sounds cliché and “unrealistic” but it is the truth: don’t be that one that throws all their eggs in one basket when there’s an even bigger basket with much better bedazzling on it somewhere else.
Happy dating… and go the Broncos!
– by Noah La’ulu
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