#SayNoToDating2015 May Update

Couples pictures are cute, right? Right?

What better way to show all of your friends that you aren’t repulsive and that you’ve actually snagged yourself a boyfriend/girlfriend by posting it on social media? Sure, the odd status or tweet saying “With him <3” or “Playing COD with the gf. This one’s a keeper” will suggest that you actually aren’t repugnant to the opposite/same sex, but there is no actual proof that they exist. So what do you do? You post a cute picture of you two… and I use the term “cute” rather loosely.

Whether it be a totes random selfie, or a picture taken by a kind stranger of y’all at a nice Chinese garden on your second year anniversary date, couples pictures have been a mainstay in social-media-relationship-bragging since the concept was born. They’re cute. They’re fun. They’re adorable. What could possibly go wrong?

"Let's take a cute couples picture while we still have the chance!"

“Let’s take a cute couples picture while we still have the chance!”

Uh oh. You’ve broken up. And now you have 1004 reminders of your failed relationship on your smartphone or your Facebook page. Now you have to go through the long process of deleting them one by one, should you choose to, so you don’t have to have that constant reminder flashing in front of your face.

But you’d rather not go through all of that trouble, right?

So it poses the question: are couple pictures really a wise idea?

Personally, I don’t see the point in them. In saying that, I’m not going to stop drop and roll every time a camera pops out and I am in the vicinity of my other half. If the right moment calls for it, then sure, I’ll strike a pose and put on my best duckface. But if it’s for the sake of putting a “cute” photo on social media just so everyone can see how OH EM GEE TOTES ADORBS we are, then no. I don’t see the point in them. You don’t have to justify your relationship by putting it on social media for everyone else to see and acknowledge. Be happy with who you are, who they are, and who you are together as a unit.

What I think most couples who are fans of those kinds of pictures don’t realise is that a lot of couples pictures are *GASP* really irritating. Like, I get you’re dating each other. I’ve received that message loud and clear 500 times a day for the past six months. Stupid pictures like “Eating breakfast together!” or “He just turned the TV on! Selfie time!” are pointless, unnecessary, and annoying.

If you just got engaged, however, or you’re posing for your tacky lovely wedding invitation photos, then sure. That’s a brilliant idea. Go for gold. Do whatever makes you happy. At least there is a purpose to it!

What bugs me about couple photos is that some of them are cheesy and tacky as hell, like the ones where the couple are in the middle of kissing and then BAM! Photo has been taken. Like what goes through your mind as you’re taking that? “Okay baby, let’s take a kissing picture. Now kiss me and don’t move until the flash goes off. Oh, and make sure your eyes are closed because, like, Becca won’t think it’s romantic unless both of our eyes are closed. Okay? Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…” News flash: they aren’t romantic. They’re stupid.

Or the typical wedding pictures of the couple holding hands walking barefoot on the beach looking deep into each other’s eyes with these obviously-posed smiles on their faces. Should I choose to have a wedding, I want the photographer to catch me and my other half in our natural habitat… or at least dressed up as Marvel characters while doing outrageous things, like throwing cake at each other or bashing each other with those giant inflatable hands. There’s an idea.

I’ll leave you with this update by finishing with the wise words of a young woman named Hilary Duff: “Turn the lights down low and kiss me in the dark, ‘cos when you’re touching me, baby I see sparks.”

I don’t actually know what that has to do with this post. But enjoy anyway.

– by Noah La’ulu

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