I’m Nikki Bella, and no one can tell me otherwise.
I identify as a 33-year-old American woman of Mexican and Italian heritage. My name is Stephanie Nicole Garcia-Colace. I have a twin sister named Brianna Danielson, and a younger brother named JJ. I was born in San Diego, California, but was raised on a farm in Scottsdale, Arizona. I currently wrestle in World Wrestling Entertainment as part of its Smackdown brand. I got my first exposure to the wrestling business participating in a talent search in 2006 called the WWE Diva Search with my sister Brie. We didn’t win the competition but were later hired and sent to WWE’s training facility, which at the time was called Florida Championship Wrestling. I am the longest reigning Divas Champion in WWE history, and a two-time Divas Champion. Currently, I live in Tampa, Florida with my boyfriend, who you may know… his name is John Cena. My sister is married to Brian Danielson, and JJ is married to a woman named Lauren, who we affectionately call “Lola”.
I am currently involved in a program with Mike Mizanin (known simply as The Miz) and Maryse Ouellet-Mizanin, and with my love John by my side, we will collide at WrestleMania 33 in the most hyped mixed-tag team match in WWE history. I say mixed tag, because it’s a male (John) and a female (me) vs. The Miz (male) and Maryse (female). This is a long time waiting, because John and I have never appeared on WWE TV together before, and the February 28, 2017 episode of Smackdown marked the first time we performed as a couple, appearing in a segment with The Miz and Maryse.
People may see me as a 5’11 Australian man of Samoan, Maori and Irish descent, but I don’t like to be defined by other people’s perceptions of me. I am a beautiful, sexy, voluptuous woman who loves wearing designer clothes and is damn proud to show off this curvy body. I am trapped in this body other people see – that of a 24-year-old man – but when I look in the mirror, I see a sexy Latina woman who has conquered the world, defied the haters and have gone on to rise to fame as one of the all-time great female superstars in WWE history.
I know you’re reading this, and you seem confused. And that’s fine. I don’t care what you conformists think. In this politically correct world, all you can do is sit there and accept that I identify as Nikki Bella, my true self. Lady Gaga told me that I was born this way, and I was born as a beautiful Latina woman.
Now, if you have read this far and you think that I am completely out of mind, you would be correct. It would be crazy for me to think that I was Nikki Bella, because I’m not. I cannot possibly identify as someone or something that I am not, because that is a huge damage to my mental health.
So if you’re sitting there thinking that I need to seek mental help for believing that I am a famous WWE superstar, then why the hell do we have to accept that other people identify as inanimate objects or various types of animals?
In this horrible politically correct era we are unfortunately going through, we’re led to believe that we have to just sit back and accept what other people want to believe they are. And if we dare question it, we’re backwards thinking and close-minded, and we’re the bad guys. It’s become almost poisonous to identify someone with their most obvious feature if I wanted to pick out someone in a room; in a room of 50 people, suddenly saying “Oh the Asian woman there” is not only “racist”, but it’s also presumptuous because “what if that woman doesn’t identify as a woman and would prefer to be known as a sheep because she is a sheepkin?”
Don’t get me wrong, if you’re a man and identify as a woman, have at it. Other way round? Go for gold. But don’t attack me for assuming your gender because I have no bloody idea what you identify as unless you tell me. Unless there is a special metahuman out there with the ability to mindread, nobody can read minds. Don’t be offended if someone can’t read your mind. Just kindly tell them “Hey, I’d prefer if you thought of me as a bloke instead”, and the other person will be like “No worries man.” Don’t attack them. You’re just victimising yourself and proving that you are indeed a precious little snowflake.
But if you’re going to sit there and say you’re an “owlkin” or a “pairofredscissorskin”, then you need to seek professional mental help immediately. Call me every name under the sun if you want for “not understanding” you, that doesn’t matter because at the end of the day, you have mental health issues, and if we’re going to treat someone with bipolar disorder as someone with mental health issues, then someone who identifies as a cheetah needs to be looked at.
It’s not cool. You need help. And there are several sources of aid you can seek out there that will help you.
Oh, and just for the record, the opening of this article was all false. I love Nikki Bella and am a big fan, but that is it. I’m proud to be the man that I am that adopted the nickname of Nikki from a joke that started at work nearly three years ago. And that’s all I identify as, thanks for asking.
– by Noah La’ulu