Happy 35th Anniversary to My Parents!

My parents are honestly couple goals.

On this date 35 years ago, my parents got married. And what is amazing about this is that each day, they fall more in love with each other. If you hear that old trope that “marriage ruins relationships”, then let me be the one to tell you that is false because my parents are living proof of this.

This was taken exactly two years ago, when my sisters and I crashed their anniversary dinner. What legends.

In their time together, they’ve had five children, – one obviously better than the other and I am definitely talking about myself here – countless amounts of homes, about five dogs (correct me if I am wrong), and one hell of a journey together.

As a sort of present to them, and a way to celebrate their coral/jade anniversary, I gave them both a quick questionnaire to answer about the other. Here is what they had to say:

Mum
1. When and where did you meet dad? How old were you and how old was he? He was 14 and I saw him at a basketball game. I was 16.
2. What was your first impression of him? Didn’t think much of him.
3. When and where was your first date? At the movies on Queen Street in November 1976.
4. What did his parents think of you when they first met you? I never met them (when we were dating).
5. When and where was your first kiss? At the movie.
6. How did he propose? What was his first reaction? He proposed on the step of my house in November 1982.
7. What were your first thoughts when you saw him at your wedding? Grey. He was wearing grey.
8. How many kids did you plan to have? At least two.
9. What is your favourite memory with him? When Toni was sitting on the bed, she was sitting on the bed in her white dress and it took his breath away.
10. What is your favourite thing about him now? He is the most handsome man in the whole wide world.

Dad
1. When and where did you meet mum? How old were you and how old was she? Newmarket in Auckland, New Zealand. I was 16 and she was 18.
2. What was your first impression of her? I had no impression.
3. When and where was your first date? Movie on Friday night in Auckland city
4. What did her parents think of you when they first met you? I’m not too sure. They were very open and friendly.
5. When and where was your first kiss? The movie in Auckland on our first date.
6. How did you propose? What was her first reaction? I asked her in front of her home. She was happy.
7. What were your first thoughts when you saw her at your wedding? I’m getting married to her.
8. How many kids did you plan to have? No real number.
9. What is your favourite memory with her? In the temple when we got married and had Toni and Stacie sealed to us.
10. What is your favourite thing about her now? Her support for me and the family.

Besides some slight miscommunication on question one (looks at dad), and also I’m pretty sure both of their favourite memories together was having their fifth and final child, they are truly the most perfect couple! Happy anniversary mum and dad! I love you a bunch!

– by Noah La’ulu

BUY: Lighthouse

The long-awaited sequel to The Heart Wants What It Wants has finally hit the digital shelves!

I’m very excited to release the sequel to my first novel entitled Lighthouse, featuring more antics from Devlin Blackthorn and Jase Morgan. Not to spoil the the ending of the first novel, but the sequel explores Devlin’s unique search for love.

Once again by the delicate hand of Vivienne Pintado.

For all vendors of the digital copy of the novel, you can find at this one universal link.

Purchase Lighthouse by Noah Malone

Happy reading!

For Spotify users, please enjoy this unofficial playlist while reading the book. It will definitely set the tone.

https://open.spotify.com/embed/user/1259455365/playlist/2j1nWTs3Rvw5d20r0E9dya

– by Noah La’ulu

The Problem of Being a Princess Traveller

Three and a half stars is my absolute minimum.

If you can’t tell by the travel part of Widow’s Lure, I absolutely love to travel. Seeing new places, meeting new people, trying new things… it’s all such an incredible experience. But so far, as a 24-year-old man, I have only been able to visit four countries (five if you include Australia).

But if I’m going to be honest, my country count probably won’t increase so much because I am a self-confessed Princess. And that really hinders my opportunities of travel for several different reasons.

Hanging a spreadie on top of the Rockefeller Center like a Princess.

If you want proof, just ask the people I went on my two Contikis tours with. In both End of Tour Contiki Awards, I won the Princess award. By a landslide.

Young Australians, including many of my friends, can pick up and go and travel across Europe and South America and stay overseas for months or even years. How do they do it? They stay in hostels, volunteer at organizations looking for young workers, and visit less-fortunate countries where the Aussie dollar has more value over there. I can honestly say that I am comfortable doing none of the above.

If you haven’t gathered by now, I have expensive a very specific taste in life, and my taste in life comes at a very high cost. For starters, I cannot stay at a hostel. Like point blank refuse will not do ever don’t even think about it. I don’t care how cheap the accommodation is there, why on earth would I want to share a bathroom with people I don’t know when I could have a bathroom to myself. In saying that, I can’t even stay at motels or hotels that are less than three and a half stars. I was once booked in a two star hotel in Los Angeles, and it was that traumatic that I don’t even want to discuss the finer details of it. Needless to say, I am alive and well. Also, a couple of the hotels I stayed at on Contiki had more than one floor, and no elevator. Like. I just can’t.

My style of travelling also means I can’t do it as much as other young people do. The other style of traveller can find cheap plane tickets, stay in Europe for six to nine months, live at a hostel or volunteer at an organization that offers food and accommodation, and Bobsuruncle. It’s so cheap that they could probably go back to Europe in another month or so. Meanwhile, I get flights, stay in hotels everywhere I go, eat out for every meal, and can essentially only afford to travel for five or six weeks. And that’s me done for about a year or two. My style of travelling is expensive and doesn’t last as long, but at least I am comfortable with it. I wish I could travel as long as the hostel travellers, I really do, but contradictory to what some may believe, I fund my own lifestyle. I don’t have handouts from the Bank of Daddy, and I am not swimming in inheritance money.

While I am interested in experiencing different cultures, I can’t see myself visiting the less than fortunate countries. I would like to think I am a decent person, and would love to volunteer for charity organizations in third-world countries that would need help, but the small problem of “I would have to stay there in those poor living conditions” is a red light for me. And I can’t do it. I need a bed, a roof over my head, some clean stylish clothes, and a nice meal on a dinner plate with a fork and a knife. If that makes me a snob, then so be it. I am a snob.

Culture shock for me was going to Subway in Texas and finding out that they didn’t have veggie patties. Imagine this Princess going to a country like Bangladesh… the culture shock would be so overwhelming that I may pass out. Admittedly, I will only ever feel comfortable visiting other westernised countries, like England, New Zealand, Ireland and Wales.

There will be some avid travellers out there who could potentially read this and think that I am a piece of shit for pretty much saying I am too good to visit certain countries, but I don’t regret saying any of this. It’s the fascination of humans; every human is raised differently, and therefore grows up differently. My parents raised me to appreciate the finer things in life, which means that I am too precious to stay in a motel with a single bed and a kitchenette. You are free to live your volunteering in a third-world country, but it isn’t for me, as much as I would like it to be.

Now, something that frugal travellers and Princesses alike can appreciate. Contiki. I cannot recommend it enough, even if some of the hotels don’t have elevators, and you’re stuck standing there waiting for someone to carry your suitcase up the flight of stairs because you just don’t do that kind of thing. If you’re looking for a unique kind of travel experience, and an opportunity to meet some new people, visit the Contiki website and book through your travel agent immediately.

– by Noah La’ulu

Wrestling Journal Entry #4

Hair-Flipping DDTs when you don’t have long hair…

After going through the basics of chain wrestling, we had more exciting things coming up, like takedowns and the exciting high impact moves. I remember the first time I properly executed a single leg takedown, I gasped and dramatically threw my hands up to my mouth because I genuinely thought I hurt my fellow trainee. Leigh’s exact words were “You were doing well until that.” Other takedowns learned included an arm drag, a side headlock takedown, and a snapmare. I am quite the fan of a snapmare.

After going through some takedown revision, we were ready to learn some awesome high impact moves. This was the week I was most excited for. Some of the moves taught to us include a snap suplex, a scoop slam, a DDT, a standing suplex, and a hip toss. Of all of them, I was most looking forward to the DDT. As I performed my first ever DDT, my leg unwillingly kicked out and I delivered the move safely. Coming up from it, someone made a comment about how “my DDT looked like Maryse’s”, to which I followed up with “I’ll do a proper Maryse DDT next time”.

And I did. Complete with dramatic hair flip and hand gesture. I’m mildly disappointed that I wasn’t told that it was a keeper, but should I need a quick move to hit in the middle of a match, I am going to pull out my hair-flipping DDT like it’s going out of fashion.

Inspiration

SABLE AT THE GREAT AMERICAN BASH 2004

Surprise, surprise. More references to Sable.

At the mere idea that I could be a professional wrestler, my mind ran rampant with ideas for wrestling gear. I imagine that a character like mine wouldn’t wear the standard trunks, kickpads and boots, so I had to think out of the box to get my character through simply through an outfit.

Enter the Queen of everything, Sable. At the Great American Bash in 2004, Sable wrestled Torrie Wilson in what I think to be an instant classic, but that’s because I’m extremely bias. Here, Sable wore what I think to be the most iconic wrestling gear by any female wrestler in the history of any company. What could only be described as “a catsuit with a fur hood”, Sable donned a red and black long sleeve bodysuit with shorts that went up her butt, that had a large hood attached to it.

To make it better, the Queen walked out with the hood up, strutting with a confidence only she had, and then took the hood down whilst sexy dancing. Like come on. How can you top that? Soz not soz Torrie.

I had to have something like this iconic piece of gear. Enter Paradise Gone, a clothing label that I was going to commission into making me something equally as iconic.

My first APWG show and the merge into the main class…

Prior to starting at APWG, I had never been to an indy wrestling show before, so I had no idea what to expect. During my training, I was unable to make the first show I would’ve helped out at due to pole dancing commitments, but I was going to make sure I could attend the second one.

Since this business is all about paying dues and earning respect among those who have been there longer than you, us rookies helped load the ring into the truck, take the ring down at the venue, set the ring up, and also help out in any way we could during the day. The rookies also got to train running the ropes and taking the corners, meanwhile all I could think of was how this was my first time in a wrestling ring.

I know Kelly Kelly despised running the ropes so I was pretty scared to take it, knowing that ring ropes are basically wire covered in tape. And I understand why she hates it. Because they hurt. A lot.

As the show was beginning to start, I was in charge of social media (Instagram, more specifically) and security. Experiencing my first indy wrestling show as actually amazing. I enjoyed every second of it, made all the more better by the fact that I knew the people on the show. And, more than anything, it made me hungrier to get in the ring and perform in front of friends, family and fans.

My time in the introductory course was up, and it was time for the rookies to merge into the main class to learn some more and train with the guys who have been around longer. I was disappointed to see that of the 12 people that started with me, only me and one other guy Dylan hung around consistently. But the show must go on, and that meant more time with the more experienced guys, and more attention from Leigh and Diego.

One day at training, Diego made me do something I had feared doing: a top rope move. I can hang upside down on a pole with one leg five metres in the air and feel completely safe and secure, but leaping off the top turnbuckle which would barely be 1.5m off the canvas terrified me. We built a stack, did a crossbody onto a training partner, and then the stack would get higher and higher. I was in over my head, but the support of the wrestlers I trained with got me through it, and I was able to deliver convincing crossbodies, each from different heights.

– by Nikki