Realistic Resolutions

Hello again my friends and HAPPY NEW YEAR to you all!!

I have no doubt that many of you made some wonderful resolutions at midnight; drink less, smile more, get fit, etc. I also have no doubt that many a resolution was broken by 12:15. Don’t stress about that though, you can always try again next year!

I personally don’t believe in New Year’s Resolutions. I think that making a grand statement like “this year I swear to be less of a bitch” when you’re five million shots of tequila into the night is just setting you up for failure later on in the year. We use this time to make excuses for our shortcomings the year before; smoking less in 2014 won’t reverse the effects of the pack-a-day you smoked last year and even if you decide to quit drinking today your liver is two-thirds fucked already.

Couldn't have said it better myself!

Couldn’t have said it better myself!

Instead of making a resolution for myself (although ‘Be less of a bitch’ is on top of my 2014 To Do list), I came up with a list of realistic resolutions we should all put into practice this year.

  1. Floss Daily. I know you’re all mentally quoting the world’s second favourite black woman and shouting ‘Aint nobody got time for that!’ because only dentists can stick to that plan, but honestly, it’s time to take dental hygiene seriously. You can’t make a resolution to Eat Healthy if you don’t even have teeth to chew your steamed quinoa.
  2. ‘Think before I speak.’ This wasn’t my resolution, but I can’t help but relate to it a little bit. It’s only human to say the first thing that pops into our heads at any given moment. We don’t have a whole crew of underpaid workers in our brains censoring all the swear words and inappropriate jokes.  In 2014, we should all think back to our year 7 lessons in elocution and start speaking like classy fuckin’ ladies.
  3. Rid your life of enemies, exes and fuckwits. You want to be a better person in 2014? Brilliant. Surround yourself with better people than the ones who were bringing you down last year. You’re amazing and it’s high time the people you surround yourself with know it!
  4. Spend more time with family. I know it’s harder than it sounds, but blood is definitely thicker than water. 2014 is the time for you and your family to clear the air, resolve some grudges and generally talk though the shit that brings tension into the relationship. You can’t choose your family, but you can choose to put the effort in.
  5. Pay It Forward. Forgetting that the film was actually dreadful and a bit depressing at the end, the message is pretty important. Help a stranger, smile more and make the world a better place. You’ll be surprised how good it can feel to do a good turn without expecting something back.
  6. Stop being shallow. Also known as Stop it with the goddamned selfies. Outside the realms of Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Flikr, Instagram and Grindr for those of you who are so inclined, there is a world of real people having real conversations and making real relationships. I know- shocking! When your life revolves around the number of likes you get on a photo of yourself pouting in a bathroom mirror, you’ll find you’re missing out on so many amazing things. Live for yourself- the real version, not the creepy  duckfaced version- and suddenly the cyber world will become insignificant. Measure yourself by the number of things you like, not the number of people who like you.
  7. On a related note, get out of the house. Not because ‘we’ve just traced the call and it’s coming from the attic’ but because a) fresh air and sunlight are good for you and b) the world is an amazing place. You don’t even need to travel to another country to see the beauty. There are special things everywhere you go. Yes, you may have to look harder to find them in the concrete jungles, but that’s half the fun. This year, immerse yourself in the world. You’ll be amazed at what you can find.
  8. Use the stairs. Let’s face it, you’re not going to stick to a fad diet or go to the gym every other day (neither am I, so don’t think I’m judging you). What you can do though is make the decision to take the stairs instead of the lift. It’s simple and yet so effective at staying trim and feeling healthier. You can also make the effort to walk around the office every now and then rather than staying glued to your desk all day. You burn twice as many calories standing up than you do sitting down and you’ll save money on the chiropractor bill. Being healthy is easier than you think.
  9. Do something amazing. Something that you wouldn’t have even dreamed of in 2013. Big, small, totally outrageous, whatever. Just make it count.
  10. Finally, conquer the fear. I know how hard this is and I know that none of us can do it alone. This final resolution is a team effort, and we, the amazing readers and writers of Solstice Satisfaction, are going to do it together. I call it ‘The SolSat Super Support System’ (say that then times fast!). We’ve all been drawn to SolSat because we’re likeminded, slightly eccentric and very unique people. Together, we can conquer the fear.Come at us 2014- we’re ready for you!

– by Blaire Gillies

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