A Guide to Surviving the Night on Friday the 13th: The Game

Stop trying to make ki ki ki ma ma ma happen. It’s not going to happen.

If you’re a gamer of any kind – from casual to hardcore – it is assumed that you would’ve heard of the asymmetrical multiplayer survival horror game Friday the 13th: The Game. If not, let me quickly catch you up to speed. You’re teleported into the Friday the 13th film franchise, where a bunch of stereotype teenagers are innocently chilling by the campfire before Jason Voorhees finds them and kills unnamed camp counsellor, which causes the rest of the teenagers to run off and try to escape.

In this game, you will either take control of Jason, where your mission is to kill all of the teenagers before they either escape, or the game session times out; or you will take control of one of the counsellors, where your job is to either escape the campsite through various methods, or just hang on until the session ends. Because if 20 minutes runs out, Jason cannot harm you anymore. Ya know. Alternatively, it is is possible to kill Jason once and for all, but that requires a very specific procedure and teamwork. The session can have up to eight people, with one playing the role as killer. And before you ask, no. You cannot choose to be Jason. You’re randomly selected. Be sure to pay special attention the opening scene of any game session, as that may give you an idea of who is playing as Jason.

I prefer playing as a counsellor, but have dabbled as Jason and performed rather successfully as him. So if you’re thinking of buying this game, let me give you tips on how to play it well from both sides of the spectrum: as Jason, or as a Counsellor. Also as a bit of a sidenote, most of my experiences playing as a counsellor come from playing as “The Flirt” Tiffany Cox, so my gameplay experience might differ from someone else’s. But generally speaking, my counsellor tips will apply to whomever you choose to be.

Playing as Jason
– First off the bat, when you spawn as Jason in the creepy shack with your dead mother’s head next to her sweater, what you want to do is teleport to an area where you know counsellors would have spawned. In Higgins Haven, it’s best to spawn right next to the main cabin itself, as at least one or two players tend to spawn near there. In Packanack, same thing. Teleport straight to the main lodge, and you will find a bunch of counsellors there. In Camp Crystal Lake, this one’s a touch more difficult as there is no “main cabin” so to speak, but a couple of players tend to spawn near the archery deck and the garage, so a safe bet is to go there straight away.
– As most horror movies would suggest, picking them off one by one is easier than trying to take on a whole group. If you see a group of counsellors, they can easily overwhelm you, so start off by targeting one who is running on their lonesome.
– Take out the electrical boxes as soon as you possibly can. They can incite fear into the counsellors, but also prevent them from calling Tommy Jarvis, and from calling the cops.
– On your map as Jason, it tells you where the phone to call the cops is, and also where the car(s) and boat are. Be sure to keep an eye on all of these. Teleport frequently between these locations in case you catch any of those cheeky counsellors trying to install batteries, pour in gas, or attach boat propellers.
– If a counsellor enters Jason’s shack, the voice of Pamela Voorhees will alert you. You have two options, although I mostly recommend the former: a) teleport straight away to the shack and stop whoever is in there from stealing Pamela’s sweater, or b) stay exactly where you are and keep an eye on the map, as someone could be entering the shack to distract you from a car load of people about to leave the site.
– While grab kills are much more fun to watch (is that terrible of me to say?), those pesky pocket knives can be a burden to you as Jason. This may be frowned upon among FT13 players, but weakening the counsellors to the point where they can no longer run is hugely beneficial to you. You can then follow that up by straight swinging your weapon of choice and murdering them, or you could try your luck and grab them for the ultimate finale.
– If you’re mic’d up as Jason and choose to play a stealthier option, mute your mic. If your dog is barking or mum is yelling at you to take the rubbish out, the players near you will be able to hear it and can sprint away from you without giving away their location. If you’re muted, then you have a better chance of killing the counsellors. Team this method up with Jason’s stealth ability, and you’re good to go.
– Furthermore, if the counsellors are using mics, listen to them talk to each other. Most of the time, they’ll unintentionally give away someone else’s location, or their current plan of action, so you can fool their plan before they have the chance to execute it.

Playing as a Counsellor
– TEAM UP! You’re placed on a team as a reason, and it’s nearly impossible to skip solely on your own efforts. Work together, and balance out your counsellor’s weaknesses with someone else’s strengths. For example, Tiffany cannot repair to save her life, but she is stealthy and has great stamina. Find a car or boat part, run it to the location, leave it at the vehicle, and alert someone with a “smarter” character that the part is ready to be installed.
– DO NOT PURPOSELY BETRAY ONE ANOTHER. You’re a dickhead if you do. That’s all.
– While staying in groups works against you stealthy wise, it is hard for Jason to pick you off if you stand in solidarity. If Jason picks up a fellow counsellor, quickly hit him with your weapon and he is forced to drop your teammate.
– Try to carry a pocket knife, fireworks and a first aid spray where possible. If you find doubles of an item, pick it up and leave it at a central location for another team member to collect eg: near a car or boat, or near the main cabin of the map (read above).
– If possible, pick a weapon that would be useful to you. There is a reason there seem to be thousands of wrenches scattered in the map, and that’s because they suck. Shotguns and flare guns work well, with the latter also alerting everyone on the map where Jason is when fired. As melee weapons are concerned, you’re in good hands if you have a machete or a baseball bat.
– Communication is key. If you have a mic, speak to your teammates to try and organise an escape plan. If you find an important car or boat part, alert everyone on the team through your walkie talkie (if you have one) and someone may escort you there in case that annoying Jason finds you.
– For the love of all that is holy, if you are being chased by Jason, DO NOT lead him to someone else. Not only have you gotten yourself in trouble, you have now jeopardised the life of someone else. Try and keep him distracted, and if you desperately need help, ask someone to come and help you. Don’t just assume they will want to be on Jason’s radar just to save your life.
– Read each other’s game plan. What I mean by this is if you can see your team are brutalising Jason to the point where his mask has fallen off, it’s safe to say they are attempting to kill Jason. If you see this (and you are playing as a female character and no one else has already done so), run to Jason’s shack, steal Pamela’s sweater, and join your friends so you can deliver the final blow.

I bought this game the day it came out, and still currently play it religiously because it’s that much fun. I hope you can also enjoy it, because it’s worth the money. Especially now because most of the glitches that tarnished the game upon release have gone adios.

– by Noah La’ulu

Why Uncharted is One of the Best Video Game Series Ever

And not just because Nathan Drake is a fox, either.

I have recently played through the entire Uncharted series – I’m still technically playing it if you include Uncharted 4: A Thief’s End extremely fun multiplayer mode, which I will delve into later – and I can safely say that this is probably one of the best game series I’ve ever played through.

All four PlayStation exclusive games are in the action-adventure genre with elements of platforming and third-person shooter. All of those elements are blended into captivating storylines that really tugs at your heart strings.

I’m going to get into the most appealing part of the series, and the main reason why I decided to start playing it in the first place: Nathan Drake. Not even from a physical perspective – because the character himself is one good looking fella – but from an overall standpoint, Nathan Drake is a great character. The game designers did what most others can’t do; they made him human. Nathan is flawed: he stresses out, and he isn’t that morally clean as most other standard male protagonists in action-adventure games. But that’s what makes him great. He isn’t unreal. On top of being human, he is really funny with stellar comedic timing, adventurous, fearless, brave and someone you can really get behind because you want to see someone this likeable succeed.

Deadset fox, isn’t he?

The supporting characters in the series also supply some great moments. My personal favourite secondary character is Chloe Frazer, a feisty Australian jewel thief and fast-and-furious car driver who is so confident in her femininity and sexuality that you can’t help but love her. Along with Chloe is the old-timer Victor “Sully” Sullivan, Nathan’s long-time confidante, friend and father-figure who travels with Nate on his extraordinary historic adventures, and really comes in handy because he smokes.

The flexibility of the playability between casual gamers and the more extreme kind also makes this series one of the best. I’d like to think I’m a good gamer, but truth of the matter is my hand-eye co-ordination is pretty slow, and I have a naturally slow reaction time to things, so unfortunately I’d rank in the above-average casual gamer. In saying that, this game is great because no matter how unco you may be, this game is quite easy to navigate. The storyline is generally linear, and the gameplay is easy to understand and quick to master. On top of that, the platforming and puzzles in the game brought a real sense of enjoyment to me because it was fun, yet also challenging. And if you’re like me and you keep dying because you thought that ledge was much closer than you thought, or you didn’t see the gang of cronies behind you violently shooting at you with an AK-47, don’t fret, because you can just restart from a checkpoint and correct your errors. It’s like Run Lola Run except more adventure, and less red hair.

The visuals in all four games are stunning – which they would have to be considering all the places and lost cities Nate visits – and they all look so realisitic and aesthetically pleasing. There’s a cool little Easter egg in the fourth game, but when Nate says “These graphics are pretty good”, that would definitely apply to his own game series. The only issue I would have with the graphics – or appearances, more likely – is Chloe’s damn low ponytail. Urgh. So atrocious.

In some areas of the game – you MOSTLY control Nate, but I won’t spoil anything for you – you will have a partner character or partners following you and fighting with you, but majority of the time, you’ll be by yourself, and the isolation from safety will really ignite your adrenaline. The struggles Nate faces in all four games just reiterates the statement I made beforehand: you really want to see Nate succeed. And the challenging storyline and gameplay will leave you in your video-game-playing-groove for hours on end.

Probably my most favourite feature of Uncharted – Uncharted 4: A Thief’s End to be precise – is the multiplayer feature (which should be played after finishing the main campaign, otherwise you might spoil the story for yourself). It compares elements of first-person shooter games like the Call of Duty series, with a third-person perspective shooter like Resident Evil 5, and mixes it together. If you suck at COD like I do, then you’d be pleased to hear that Uncharted multiplayer is much easier to get. It’s so pleasing to note that I don’t actually suck at this kind of multiplayer. Plus, you get to play as your favourite characters – Nate, Chloe, Rafe for me – and dress them up in cute outfits with cute bunny ears and you can make them twerk over your fallen opponent.

If you haven’t already, I suggest you buy these games and see what all the fuss is about. And if you’re an XBox user… well…

PS4 currently has Uncharted: The Nathan Drake Collection which features the first three games on the one disc, which you can then follow up with Uncharted 4: A Thief’s End. The trilogy is quite cheap considering, while the fourth and final installment is a bit more pricey considering its recent release – and the fact that it’s a bloody good game.

Happy adventuring, fam!

– by Noah La’ulu

Six Iconic Moments of Old School Runescape

Admit it. You loved Runescape as much as every other kid did.

A girlfriend and I have since rediscovered our love for the iconic MMORPG game and have been playing the oldschool version again, which you can find at this link. Since the game has since updated to accommodate the younger generation, I decided to list the things that made the old school version so iconic.

Doesn't this just bring back pleasant memories?

Doesn’t this just bring back pleasant memories?

From smithing your first bronze plateskirt to following someone around so you didn’t have to click your own way to a destination, these are the six moments that stood out to me as Runescape’s finest.

1. Finishing the damn tutorial island
If you are like me – and most Runescape players will empathise here – then you are not content with making just one account. Instead, you want to make several. (Some of my past horrendous accounts include “Daphne Bijou”, “Farah Hilary” and “Angelina Luv”). But what awaits every new character in the game is the tutorial island. Sure, it comes in handy if you’re new to the game and basically teaches you how to survive Runescape, but if you’re on your 50th new character, then you don’t want to be in tutorial island. At all. You have tried to speed through the island, and the other noobs around you are wondering why you are moving at such a high speed, because you just want to get to the nitty gritty, which brings me to my second point.

2. Levelling up at the cow farm
Now I acknowledge that there are probably several other farm-related places with cows you can use to level up, but I am talking about THE cow farm; the one that’s just off Lumbridge where Gillie Goats the milk maiden is waiting with two untouchable milkable cows. If you went somewhere else to level up your new level three character, you’re lying; everyone and their dog came here to start off their battle skills. You could spend hours or even days in this one place, slaying these poor innocent cows, picking up their bones and burying them, and then taking their meat remains to cook and eat. I mean, there’s nothing cruel about eating beef while killing a cow, right?

3. The Wilderness
Remember when it was possible to accidentally wander into the Wilderness and then you were confused as to why other players were killing you? For those of you who may not know, the Wilderness was the only set location where PvP action was allowed. In other parts of the Runescape world, you are not allowed to harm other players. I remember once following some dude who promised to give me Runescape money, only for him to take me to the wilderness and kill me with one slice of the sword. Lesson learned: don’t follow strangers who offer you money in a video game.

4. The Stronghold of Security and its colourful reward
An interesting way Runescape taught its players about account security was through the Stronghold of Security, which was a four level “labyrinth” that consisted of magical gates that you could only pass if you knew the answer to a question regarding account security. Some of these questions would range from “Where can you find cheats to Runescape?” to “Your friends wants to use your account to pass a quest. Do you let them?” (DISCLAIMER: paraphrasing here.) You would pass through the gates while avoiding or battling against the monsters in the labyrinth (these monsters would grow increasingly more difficult the further down you went, so avoiding them was generally the way to go), and at the end of each level came a prize. The prize at the bottom floor of the Stronghold Security? A choice of boring brown boots, or SUPER DUPER COOL RAINBOW ONES.

5. Random events
As the name suggests, these were seemingly random and could happen to you anywhere at anytime. Basically, you could be strolling through the lands of Runescape and then a creature or person would appear out of thin air, offering you some sort of service or gift. If you chose to talk to them, you would be taken off to some other world where you are told to complete a task for a reward. Some of these prizes included Runescape money, a Princess gown and a Frog head. There was no real point to these, unless you’re like me and you desperately wanted the sexy brown short shorts with the long white socks for your character. Which I still don’t have. Tear.

6. The run to your grave
So not everyone is lucky, and sometimes you will get into a battle and come out the losing end. It’s a video game. That’s fine. Respawning is always a thing… except for one small problem: if you die, you drop everything on you besides the two most valuable things in your possession, and you have about 60 seconds to get back to the spot where you died to gather the rest of your belongings before they disappear into thin air. If you had a friend nearby the time you died, you could get them to “bless your grave”, which gave you more time to run back to your grave. If you don’t make it back in time? Well, there go your belongings, and you have to start all over again.

If this article has enticed you to re-join the game, please send me a message and add me as a friend so we can get lost in the Wilderness together. Don’t worry. I won’t savagely attack you…

– by Noah La’ulu

My Wrestlemania 30, according to TEW 2013

I have enough time to pretend to run a wrestling company and run this site. I must be Superman.

TEW 2013, or Total Extreme Wrestling 2013 for those of you who aren’t in the know, is a wrestling simulator where the player can choose to book or totally own his/her own wrestling company. At first, with the default database, players can choose from fictitious wrestling companies with cartoonified wrestling personalities.

If you download the right database, of course, then you can run (or pretend to run) real life companies such as WWE and TNA. Me? I’ve been a WWE guy all my life.

How would Wrestlemania 30 have turned out if main evented by Daniel Bryan and CM Punk? (SOURCE: Miguel Discart's Flickr photostream)

How would Wrestlemania 30 have turned out if main evented by Daniel Bryan and CM Punk? (SOURCE: Miguel Discart’s Flickr photostream)

We all know what happened at the REAL Wrestlemania 30 – Daniel Bryan beating Triple H and then going on to beat Randy Orton and Batista to become the underdog World Heavyweight Champ – but that wasn’t my Wrestlemania 30. In fact, while it had its similarities, it was far from my Wrestlemania 30.

Now, as a way to fill space on my website, I present to you… Noah’s Wrestlemania 30!

Wrestlemania 30 Match card (in order of appearance):
Pre-show
Eddie Edwards wins a 30-man over-the-top-rope battle royal in his debut match
The Bella Twins (Brie and Nikki) (c) defeated Aksana and Tamina to retain the WWE Divas Tag Team Championships
Davey Richards (w/ Satisfaction) defeated Alberto Del Rio and Mike Bennett (w/ Eva Marie) in a triple-threat match
Kaitlyn won a Divas Battle Royal

Main card
Match #1
Randy Orton w/ Stacy Keibler vs. Christian
Ever since costing him a World title opportunity, Christian has had it in for Randy Orton. The two men had embroiled in several unsanctioned brawls and beatdowns and they were finally given the chance to settle their differences at Wrestlemania.
Winner: Randy Orton

Match #2
The Kings of Wrestling (Antonio Cesaro and Kassius Ohno) (c) vs. The Shield (Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins) vs. Brute Force (Jon Cutler and Mason Ryan) w/ Satisfaction vs. The Briscoes (Jay and Mark Briscoe) w/ Audrey Marie for the WWE Tag Team Championships
The Kings of Wrestling were praised when they defeated Ryback and manager Satisfaction for the WWE Tag Team Championships. Unhappy with this, Satisfaction set Brute Force after them. Meanwhile, the Briscoes and the Shield had gotten into their own rivalry and it was decided that all four teams would battle it out for the gold.
Winner: The Kings of Wrestling

Match #3
Dolph Ziggler vs. Cody Rhodes w/ Charlotte
Dolph Ziggler showed why he is dubbed “Mr Steal Your Girl” after pursuing Cody Rhodes’ girlfriend, Charlotte Flair. Rhodes didn’t take too kindly to this and began physically tormenting Ziggler. The two men were given the opportunity to duke it out at Wrestlemania with the devious Charlotte at ringside.
Winner: Dolph Ziggler

Match #4
Kelly Kelly (c) vs. AJ Lee vs. Natalya w/ Blade Hart vs. Angelina Love for the WWE Divas Championship
Kelly Kelly had been a fighting champion ever since winning the Divas title back at the Royal Rumble. Kelly made a tag team pact with Angelina to fight off AJ Lee and Natalya at Elimination Chamber, but soon it was every woman for herself. Alliances were broken and every Diva knew that their could only be ONE Divas Champion.
Winner: AJ Lee (NEW Divas Champion)

Match #5
The Undertaker vs. The Big Show vs. The Miz
The Big Show and the Miz had been arguing over who was going to get the shot at Undertaker’s Wrestlemania streak, feuding all the way from late December to early April. An executive decision was made that both men would get their shot Undertaker in a triple threat match.
Winner: The Undertaker

Match #6
Roman Reigns (c) vs. Novakaine w/ Satisfaction for the WWE United States Championship
Roman Reigns made a big name for himself after breaking away from the Shield, his biggest victory coming when he defeated the seemingly unstoppable Novakaine for the US title. It wasn’t long before Satisfaction had sicked Novakaine on his rival, telling his client to win the United States gold back at any cost.
Winner: Roman Reigns

Match #7
Kofi Kingston (c) vs. Sheamus vs. Adrian Neville vs. Wade Barrett vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Jack Swagger w/ Zeb Colter in a six-pack challenge for the WWE Intercontinental Championship
Kofi Kingston, Adrian Neville, Wade Barrett and Ted DiBiase had been quarreling over the Intercontinental Championship for quite some time, while Sheamus and Jack Swagger attempted to settle their own differences as well. It was decided that Sheamus and Swagger would join the fight for the gold in a six-pack challenge where the winner takes all.
Winner: Jack Swagger (NEW Intercontinental Champion)

Match #8
The Rock vs. Ryback w/ Satisfaction in a Last Man Standing Match
Ryback and his handler, Satisfaction, had been a thorn in the Rock’s side in the past few months. After suffering a loss against Ryback at Wrestlemania 29 in a triple threat also featuring John Cena, the Rock was looking for revenge, especially after the hellish torment at the hands of Satisfaction.
Winner: The Rock

Match #9
John Cena (c) vs. Batista vs. Brock Lesnar for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship
John Cena had been a fighting champion ever since beating the conniving Chris Jericho. After a brutal attack at the hands of Brock Lesnar, it seemed as if Cena had met his match… until Batista inserted himself into the picture. It was decided by the power that be that Cena would defend his title against both men in a triple threat.
Winner: John Cena

Match #10
Eva Marie vs. Lacey Von Erich in a Playboy Pillowfight match
It was only a matter of time for “Red Hot” Eva Marie to land the cover of Playboy. It wasn’t until she began rubbing it in everyone’s faces that Lacey Von Erich took exception to it. The two beautiful Divas had been clawing at each other ever since – even involving Eva’s boyfriend Mike Bennett and Lacey’s cousins Ross and Marshall – and were set to fight it out at Wrestlemania.
Winner: Eva Marie

Match #11
CM Punk (c) vs. Daniel Bryan for the WWE Championship
It was a true underdog Cinderella story for Daniel Bryan. After winning a 40-man Royal Rumble, Bryan kept his decision to himself as he fended off then-rival Cody Rhodes. After stating that he would chase Punk’s WWE Championship, the two ring technicians would collide at the main event of Wrestlemania.
Winner: Daniel Bryan (NEW WWE Champion)

Mine’s A LOT better than the real one, isn’t it?

– by Noah La’ulu