Five Questions I Have for Love Island: The Game – Season One

Couple up or check out.

This is the motto for the iconic reality dating series Love Island, but if (like me) you don’t really care for shit trashy reality dating shows, but like to live vicariously through character avatars in romantic settings, then you might really like the mobile app game based on the series, Love Island: The Game.

And yes, I am going to shamelessly plug my live streaming series #NikkiPlaysLoveIsland which you can find at this link.

The extremely attractive cast of Love Island: The Game Season One. Tygress the bikini model not featured.

I just have to say that I am a huge mark for the Love Island game. Any mobile app that can make me spend actual money on it is a keeper, but this game has made spend well over $100 on it. (Before you judge me, just bear in mind that I could be spending my money on worse).

This game has everything that a dating simulation mobile app game needs: attractive characters to romance or woo, an isolated almost dreamlike setting of the villa that almost traps you and the other islanders together, and most importantly, an engaging storyline… because what’s romance without an entertaining story?

I’m currently going through my second playthrough of season one which you can watch live on my Twitch channel (did I already plug my #NikkiPlaysLoveIsland?) My first playthrough of season one was full of drama, romance, heartbreak, and plenty of doing bits, and I felt so attached to the characters by the end of the season.

After thinking about my first playthrough – and going through my second playthrough – I just have a few questions that need to be asked about my time as Tygress the bikini model on Love Island season one.

SPOILERS AHEAD! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

1. Why do we have to play as a (fit) female?
First thing’s first: the most obvious question. Why am I forced to play as a female? As a male, I would like to experience this iconic game as a male character so I can realistically live vicariously through them. Unfortunately, this game only gives you the option to play as a female with a fit body/little to no curves. I’m not going to complain that much because I enjoyed playing as Tygress the bikini model, but it would’ve been that much better creating a male character that looked like me and would constantly graft on Levi and Jake like the devilish hoe he was meant to be.

2. Wtf was #Cherrygate
I know they explained themselves, but I still don’t quite get why Cherrygate had to happen. My partner at the time was Levi, so he was the one suckered in to Cherrygate. Cherry explained that she was feeling weak and vulnerable at the time and Levi happened to be there for a (broad) shoulder to lean on, but then they made out. Like, I don’t know about you, but when I find a friend to lean on during troubling times, I don’t end the venting session by making out with them. Also, Cherrygate dragged on for too long. I ended up not minding Cherry by the end of it, but it felt like the game was forcing me to hate her. Speaking of hating people…

3. Why are the rest of the female characters such vile humans?
If you’ve watched my live stream, you will note that there is a recurring theme: I hate literally every other female character in this season. Allegra tries too hard to be a bitch, and in turn makes her mere existence irritating; Erikah is a snake; Cherry is a man-stealing ho bag; Talia is a try hard; Jen is way in over her damn head; and Lucy is bland. There. I said it.

4. What’s the obsession with Levi and Mason?
It’s no secret that I was fond of Levi from the beginning seeing as statistically the character is very close to “my type”; however in saying that, the closest to my type of all the characters was Jake. Granted, Jake was a choice to couple up with in the very last recoupling, but I don’t understand why he wasn’t able to be selected for the majority of the game. It was clear the the game was trying to steer you specifically towards Levi or Mason, and eventually Talia should you want your character to end up in a same-sex relationship. It would’ve been nice if the game gave you more options for romance, because I’m sure Big T definitely tickled some peoples fancies by the end of it.

5. Why is this game so iconic?
I have played nearly every popular mobile dating simulation game there has ever been invented. This could be because I am super lonely, but more on my aversion to real-life dating later. But while other games just want to get you coupled up with these beautiful, flawless superhuman characters that are larger than life, this game went that step further and actually made their characters human. Jake was the most human character of them all, which is probably why Tygress ended up with him; he was flawed, and admitted to his own faults and insecurities, and nothing is more attractive than someone who is comfortable in their own skin and flaws. Kudos, Fusebox Games, you have done a stellar job.

Love Island: The Game is available on most if not all smart devices and is free to download (in-game transactions available if you have no self control like me and need to spend money to have cute bikinis and exclusive grafting opportunities). Don’t say I didn’t warn you when you prefer to spend time with your villa beau as opposed to your real one.

– by The Black Widow

A Guide to Surviving the Night on Friday the 13th: The Game

Stop trying to make ki ki ki ma ma ma happen. It’s not going to happen.

If you’re a gamer of any kind – from casual to hardcore – it is assumed that you would’ve heard of the asymmetrical multiplayer survival horror game Friday the 13th: The Game. If not, let me quickly catch you up to speed. You’re teleported into the Friday the 13th film franchise, where a bunch of stereotype teenagers are innocently chilling by the campfire before Jason Voorhees finds them and kills unnamed camp counsellor, which causes the rest of the teenagers to run off and try to escape.

In this game, you will either take control of Jason, where your mission is to kill all of the teenagers before they either escape, or the game session times out; or you will take control of one of the counsellors, where your job is to either escape the campsite through various methods, or just hang on until the session ends. Because if 20 minutes runs out, Jason cannot harm you anymore. Ya know. Alternatively, it is is possible to kill Jason once and for all, but that requires a very specific procedure and teamwork. The session can have up to eight people, with one playing the role as killer. And before you ask, no. You cannot choose to be Jason. You’re randomly selected. Be sure to pay special attention the opening scene of any game session, as that may give you an idea of who is playing as Jason.

I prefer playing as a counsellor, but have dabbled as Jason and performed rather successfully as him. So if you’re thinking of buying this game, let me give you tips on how to play it well from both sides of the spectrum: as Jason, or as a Counsellor. Also as a bit of a sidenote, most of my experiences playing as a counsellor come from playing as “The Flirt” Tiffany Cox, so my gameplay experience might differ from someone else’s. But generally speaking, my counsellor tips will apply to whomever you choose to be.

Playing as Jason
– First off the bat, when you spawn as Jason in the creepy shack with your dead mother’s head next to her sweater, what you want to do is teleport to an area where you know counsellors would have spawned. In Higgins Haven, it’s best to spawn right next to the main cabin itself, as at least one or two players tend to spawn near there. In Packanack, same thing. Teleport straight to the main lodge, and you will find a bunch of counsellors there. In Camp Crystal Lake, this one’s a touch more difficult as there is no “main cabin” so to speak, but a couple of players tend to spawn near the archery deck and the garage, so a safe bet is to go there straight away.
– As most horror movies would suggest, picking them off one by one is easier than trying to take on a whole group. If you see a group of counsellors, they can easily overwhelm you, so start off by targeting one who is running on their lonesome.
– Take out the electrical boxes as soon as you possibly can. They can incite fear into the counsellors, but also prevent them from calling Tommy Jarvis, and from calling the cops.
– On your map as Jason, it tells you where the phone to call the cops is, and also where the car(s) and boat are. Be sure to keep an eye on all of these. Teleport frequently between these locations in case you catch any of those cheeky counsellors trying to install batteries, pour in gas, or attach boat propellers.
– If a counsellor enters Jason’s shack, the voice of Pamela Voorhees will alert you. You have two options, although I mostly recommend the former: a) teleport straight away to the shack and stop whoever is in there from stealing Pamela’s sweater, or b) stay exactly where you are and keep an eye on the map, as someone could be entering the shack to distract you from a car load of people about to leave the site.
– While grab kills are much more fun to watch (is that terrible of me to say?), those pesky pocket knives can be a burden to you as Jason. This may be frowned upon among FT13 players, but weakening the counsellors to the point where they can no longer run is hugely beneficial to you. You can then follow that up by straight swinging your weapon of choice and murdering them, or you could try your luck and grab them for the ultimate finale.
– If you’re mic’d up as Jason and choose to play a stealthier option, mute your mic. If your dog is barking or mum is yelling at you to take the rubbish out, the players near you will be able to hear it and can sprint away from you without giving away their location. If you’re muted, then you have a better chance of killing the counsellors. Team this method up with Jason’s stealth ability, and you’re good to go.
– Furthermore, if the counsellors are using mics, listen to them talk to each other. Most of the time, they’ll unintentionally give away someone else’s location, or their current plan of action, so you can fool their plan before they have the chance to execute it.

Playing as a Counsellor
– TEAM UP! You’re placed on a team as a reason, and it’s nearly impossible to skip solely on your own efforts. Work together, and balance out your counsellor’s weaknesses with someone else’s strengths. For example, Tiffany cannot repair to save her life, but she is stealthy and has great stamina. Find a car or boat part, run it to the location, leave it at the vehicle, and alert someone with a “smarter” character that the part is ready to be installed.
– DO NOT PURPOSELY BETRAY ONE ANOTHER. You’re a dickhead if you do. That’s all.
– While staying in groups works against you stealthy wise, it is hard for Jason to pick you off if you stand in solidarity. If Jason picks up a fellow counsellor, quickly hit him with your weapon and he is forced to drop your teammate.
– Try to carry a pocket knife, fireworks and a first aid spray where possible. If you find doubles of an item, pick it up and leave it at a central location for another team member to collect eg: near a car or boat, or near the main cabin of the map (read above).
– If possible, pick a weapon that would be useful to you. There is a reason there seem to be thousands of wrenches scattered in the map, and that’s because they suck. Shotguns and flare guns work well, with the latter also alerting everyone on the map where Jason is when fired. As melee weapons are concerned, you’re in good hands if you have a machete or a baseball bat.
– Communication is key. If you have a mic, speak to your teammates to try and organise an escape plan. If you find an important car or boat part, alert everyone on the team through your walkie talkie (if you have one) and someone may escort you there in case that annoying Jason finds you.
– For the love of all that is holy, if you are being chased by Jason, DO NOT lead him to someone else. Not only have you gotten yourself in trouble, you have now jeopardised the life of someone else. Try and keep him distracted, and if you desperately need help, ask someone to come and help you. Don’t just assume they will want to be on Jason’s radar just to save your life.
– Read each other’s game plan. What I mean by this is if you can see your team are brutalising Jason to the point where his mask has fallen off, it’s safe to say they are attempting to kill Jason. If you see this (and you are playing as a female character and no one else has already done so), run to Jason’s shack, steal Pamela’s sweater, and join your friends so you can deliver the final blow.

I bought this game the day it came out, and still currently play it religiously because it’s that much fun. I hope you can also enjoy it, because it’s worth the money. Especially now because most of the glitches that tarnished the game upon release have gone adios.

– by The Black Widow

Six Iconic Moments of Old School Runescape

Admit it. You loved Runescape as much as every other kid did.

A girlfriend and I have since rediscovered our love for the iconic MMORPG game and have been playing the oldschool version again, which you can find at this link. Since the game has since updated to accommodate the younger generation, I decided to list the things that made the old school version so iconic.

Doesn't this just bring back pleasant memories?

Doesn’t this just bring back pleasant memories?

From smithing your first bronze plateskirt to following someone around so you didn’t have to click your own way to a destination, these are the six moments that stood out to me as Runescape’s finest.

1. Finishing the damn tutorial island
If you are like me – and most Runescape players will empathise here – then you are not content with making just one account. Instead, you want to make several. (Some of my past horrendous accounts include “Daphne Bijou”, “Farah Hilary” and “Angelina Luv”). But what awaits every new character in the game is the tutorial island. Sure, it comes in handy if you’re new to the game and basically teaches you how to survive Runescape, but if you’re on your 50th new character, then you don’t want to be in tutorial island. At all. You have tried to speed through the island, and the other noobs around you are wondering why you are moving at such a high speed, because you just want to get to the nitty gritty, which brings me to my second point.

2. Levelling up at the cow farm
Now I acknowledge that there are probably several other farm-related places with cows you can use to level up, but I am talking about THE cow farm; the one that’s just off Lumbridge where Gillie Goats the milk maiden is waiting with two untouchable milkable cows. If you went somewhere else to level up your new level three character, you’re lying; everyone and their dog came here to start off their battle skills. You could spend hours or even days in this one place, slaying these poor innocent cows, picking up their bones and burying them, and then taking their meat remains to cook and eat. I mean, there’s nothing cruel about eating beef while killing a cow, right?

3. The Wilderness
Remember when it was possible to accidentally wander into the Wilderness and then you were confused as to why other players were killing you? For those of you who may not know, the Wilderness was the only set location where PvP action was allowed. In other parts of the Runescape world, you are not allowed to harm other players. I remember once following some dude who promised to give me Runescape money, only for him to take me to the wilderness and kill me with one slice of the sword. Lesson learned: don’t follow strangers who offer you money in a video game.

4. The Stronghold of Security and its colourful reward
An interesting way Runescape taught its players about account security was through the Stronghold of Security, which was a four level “labyrinth” that consisted of magical gates that you could only pass if you knew the answer to a question regarding account security. Some of these questions would range from “Where can you find cheats to Runescape?” to “Your friends wants to use your account to pass a quest. Do you let them?” (DISCLAIMER: paraphrasing here.) You would pass through the gates while avoiding or battling against the monsters in the labyrinth (these monsters would grow increasingly more difficult the further down you went, so avoiding them was generally the way to go), and at the end of each level came a prize. The prize at the bottom floor of the Stronghold Security? A choice of boring brown boots, or SUPER DUPER COOL RAINBOW ONES.

5. Random events
As the name suggests, these were seemingly random and could happen to you anywhere at anytime. Basically, you could be strolling through the lands of Runescape and then a creature or person would appear out of thin air, offering you some sort of service or gift. If you chose to talk to them, you would be taken off to some other world where you are told to complete a task for a reward. Some of these prizes included Runescape money, a Princess gown and a Frog head. There was no real point to these, unless you’re like me and you desperately wanted the sexy brown short shorts with the long white socks for your character. Which I still don’t have. Tear.

6. The run to your grave
So not everyone is lucky, and sometimes you will get into a battle and come out the losing end. It’s a video game. That’s fine. Respawning is always a thing… except for one small problem: if you die, you drop everything on you besides the two most valuable things in your possession, and you have about 60 seconds to get back to the spot where you died to gather the rest of your belongings before they disappear into thin air. If you had a friend nearby the time you died, you could get them to “bless your grave”, which gave you more time to run back to your grave. If you don’t make it back in time? Well, there go your belongings, and you have to start all over again.

If this article has enticed you to re-join the game, please send me a message and add me as a friend so we can get lost in the Wilderness together. Don’t worry. I won’t savagely attack you…

– by The Black Widow

Video Game Clichés = ROFLMFAO

We’ve all seen them, whether we’re conscious of it or not.

For the intense or casual gamers alike, there are so many things in video games that happen so frequently that we’re not even aware of them happening. It’s almost hilarious how our mind doesn’t even register that these things that our minds are so oblivious to, realistically, are impossible.

What are these things I’m referring to?

I’m glad you asked.

Why you so cliche for, Leon?! (SOURCE: Screenshot from Resident Evil 4 game)

Why you so cliché for, Leon?! (SOURCE: Screenshot from Resident Evil 4 game)

Here are Solstice Satisfaction’s top video game clichés:

Health packs, which may also come in the form of food
Your character just got slashed by a sword about 20 times and is now on the brink of death. What do you do to fix this? You grab a conveniently located health pack that is glowing compared to the rest of the environment. I appreciate the thought put into these health packs, but I know that if I got punched in the face by Ronda Rousey, a simple white bag with a red cross on it is not going to help the situation at all. Or, if health packs aren’t your thing, let’s make a quick reference to Gauntlet Legends – which I would argue to be the most underrated game on the N64 platform – where, instead of health packs, they have pieces of meat scattered throughout the world. The best part? When your character eats that piece of meat lying on the dirt, he/she will say something like “Mmm! I like food!”

Double jumping… or pretty much just jumping in general
I don’t know about you, but I don’t do much jumping in my personal life. The only time I can think of when a jump is necessary in my life is when I need to get higher up on the pole I’m about to swing on. Other than that, if a certain area is too high for me, you can bet your bottom dollar I’m not going to jump around to get up to it. I’d find a ladder of some sort like a normal person. Some video games, however, stretch this idea by making it possible to jump… and then jump again from mid air. Just imagine if that were possible. Seriously. Imagine all these people jumping in mid air. It’d be hilarious.

Invisible walls, hopefully a thing of the past
For some reason, you want to read what’s on the back of that vending machine in the corner. You run to it. Hey! You can’t get any closer because there seems to be some impenetrable force blocking you. Congratulations! You have just run into an invisible wall! Seen less and less these days due to the ever increasing video games and open world RPGs, the invisible wall deserves its spot in video game history and not present. Speaking of walls…

Running a marathon, in the same spot, against a wall
I can’t even begin to describe just how funny this is. You’re running your character through the area and you’ve come up against a wall. You didn’t have enough time to turn the character around, so it’s simply just going to keep running against the wall, not actually moving and not actually blasting the wall like a normal person would. I tried running against a wall like this once as a child… it did not turn out okay.

Male protagonists, damsels in distress
I can’t even begin to count how many games I’ve played where you are forced to play a male character and along the way, there is some poor womanly soul who needs rescuing. I don’t know about you but this cliché is mega outdated. I mean, put this way; who would be the saviour and who would be the victim in the duo of Ronda Rousey and the bloke who plays Ron Weasley? Think about it. Girls kick ass too.

No sleep, no bladder, no worries!
Have you ever noticed how the character you are controlling never has to eat, use the toilet, sleep, or sit down? I mean, if you think about it, they’ve only been scouring the lands since about 40 hours of gameplay ago. Surely they’ve got the runs. Or an insane desire to down a Big Mac. But no. Video game characters aren’t really human after all.

Quick time events… but why?
Nothing is worse than watching a cutscene in the middle of a game you’re playing and then realising that it isn’t a cut scene and is in fact a quick time event but because you got too lazy, you ended up missing the quick time action and dying. Maybe that’s just me, but these quick time events – which are basically like interactive scenes and not actual gameplay – are so annoying that I’m sad to see Resident Evil 4 use them a lot. Such a brilliant game tainted with such stupid quick time events.

If you have any other hated clichés, let us know in the comments.

– by The Black Widow