Satisfashion: Dressing with Coloured Hair

Coloured hair is in. Mixing that colour with ten different others on your outfit isn’t.

Ever since that fateful night in Quebec City where my dearest Bree bleached my hair in a night of drunken fun, I’ve been obsessed with having hair colours that aren’t my natural shade. Ever since then, I’ve been blond, dark roots with blue and pink tips, blond again, red and blue with blond sides, red and blue with red and blue sides, and moved onto just red and blue on top with dark sides.

Since then, I have gone back to my natural colour so to save my hair from further damage. But with my red-and-blue-do, I couldn’t successfully wear different colours because it clashed with my hair. It’s a risk you don’t think of when dying your hair, but when your hair is bright pink, that automatically means you can’t wear green with orange or yellow. Unless you want to look like you got dressed in the dark. I mean, I’m not going to judge you or anything…

My advice to those with extreme coloured hair like mine used to be is to stick to your shades, and accentuate the colour in your hair with similar colours in your outfit. I haven’t been in the coloured hair game for long, but I’ve come to understand that some parts of my current wardrobe were under quarantine until I returned to a natural shade of hair colour… which sucks, by the way. Having plan coloured hair is BORING.

For example, if you have purple hair, maybe accessorise your black and greys with different shades of purple, or even a really hot shade of pink that compliments your hair.

For me personally, I found it quite easy to dress myself. When you’re a Patriots fan, you have lots of red and blue in your wardrobe. When you’re a fan of the Bella Twins, you will have lots of red in your wardrobe also. And if you just ignore the fact that this was a costume for a pole dancing show, the colouring in my outfit work with my hair so well.

Photo captured by The Black Light. Taken at Pole Plus Studios.

I have worn reds and blues to match my hair, and have stuck to neutral shades like white and black so that the two primary colours are the main focus of the outfit. And if I were to wear shoes with this outfit, I would stick to reds, blues, blacks and whites anyway. I guess this means that Harley Quinn knows how to style an outfit to work with my hair, not me…

I guess you get the idea now. But just in case you don’t, let me give you a short instruction list…

Wear colours similar to your extremely dyed hair.
Match that with blacks, whites and greys.
Complimentary colours are okay (eg: if you have blue hair, wearing deep shades of purple is okay).
Try not to have too many colours on your outfit.
Don’t look like a Mario Kart Rainbow Road. No one likes Rainbow Road. No one.

You’re so welcome.

– by The Black Widow

Satisfashion: Coloured suits for men

Hey guys, are you looking to stand out in a spectacular way?

Gents, if you have a formal event coming up and you want to make a statement, maybe a coloured suit is the way to go.

Men’s formal fashion is very basic: you chuck on some slacks, a button up shirt, some nice pleather shoes, and Bobsuruncle. Ties, blazers and sleek aviators optional. It is because of this that men don’t usually put much thought into what they’re going to wear at formal occasions, and to me, that is quite sad. It is possible for a man to outshine his beautiful female partner if he does it well.

Plus, to a woman, a man in a nice suit is the equivalent to a woman in skimpy lingerie to a man.

My best mate Rachel and I. This was four years ago and I look the same.

My best mate Rachel and I. This was four years ago and I look the same.

If you want to take formal dress just that extra bit further, however, coloured suits are becoming more frequent nowadays. They come in very obvious colours like lime green, royal blue and SolSat magenta – the latter of which being owned by yours truly.

Wearing a coloured suit is just like wearing a coloured dress for a lady; the suit is the statement so the extra additionals should compliment that statement and present it accordingly. If you plan on wearing a royal blue coloured suit, please for the love of Grace Kelly, do not try to compliment it with a red shirt and a yellow tie. You will look like a children’s finger painting gone wrong.

For a coloured suit, use basic shades to compliment your suit so that the suit is the most outstanding part of your outfit. Wear whites, greys, and blacks in your outfit; a blue suit would look smashing with a black button-up shirt and a white bow tie. If you’re daring enough, compliment the suit with a different shade of the same colour. A hot pink suit matched with a white button-up and a baby pink neck tie would look deadset phenom.

I wore a hot pink coloured suit to my year 12 graduation formal and was nominated for best dressed for my outfits. The light accents of a black shirt with a light silver neck tie complimented the outfit and made the pink suit the ultimate highlight of the outfit.

Guys, if you have a wedding coming up or something else of formal importance, don’t hesitate to try a coloured suit out. When done correctly, they can look just out of this world.

Just don’t try cross-colour. It is truthfully heinous.

– by The Black Widow

Satisfashion: The Fashion Fruitbowl

Women are constantly told by fashion magazines and ‘celebrity stylists’ that their body type fits into a certain category: apple, pear, asparagus, carrot, butternut pumpkin (also known as the hourglass), etc. Has anyone else noticed that clothes shopping now feels like a trip to the local green grocer? All I want is to buy a sundress, not the ingredients for a low-self-esteem fruit salad.

There are better ways to dress an apple

There are better ways to dress an apple

I firmly believe that no matter what size you are, or what sort of fresh produce your silhouette most resembles, you can and should love your body. Everyone has the ability to look as good as they feel. It’s just a matter of knowing how to identify and flaunt your assets.

apple-croppedApple figures can be hard to dress due to the positioning of weight in the belly and bust. Luckily for you though, you’ve got killer cleavage and slimmer legs. The key to highlighting these assets is body control underwear. I know it sounds like a kind of ‘old-lady’ idea, but it will work wonders to sculpt your silhouette by drawing you in at the waist and giving you smoother curves. Now you’re less like an apple and more like an apple core (yay!). Once you’ve got that sorted, it’s time to work on the clothes:
-Open up your neckline. V-neck t-shirts or leaving a single button undone on your work blouse doesn’t make you a hussy.
-Vertical stripes act to elongate the body and have a slimming effect.
-Drop earrings help to elongate the face and draw attention to the jawline and cheekbones. Lengthening the facial features can help balance out the rounded figure.
-A-Line skirts make the waist look slimmer and can be worn with tights to highlight your legs in winter.
-There is no excuse for granny-jeans. Structured, straight-leg jeans and knee length boots will draw the eye down to your gorgeous legs.
-Fitted blazers add shape to the torso and add what I can ‘points of attention’ as the deep V made by the lapels encourages the eyes to move downwards rather than across the body.

download (2)Pear shaped ladies should flaunt their bust and graceful shoulders. The trouble with this figure is the fear that yes, perhaps your bum does look big in that outfit. Invest in a good quality padded bra. A little extra oomph upstairs can balance out your hips and butt.
-Strapless dresses should be a staple in your wardrobe! Your ideal summer outfit is a strapless maxi with a thick belt to cinch in your waist and show off your gorgeous feminie curves.
-Shoulder-pads are not just for 80s disco parties. A structured shoulder in military jackets and blazers lengthens the horizontal line of your shoulders, allowing them to meet the line of your hips.
-Embellished tops have a similar effect and when paired with simple jeans or slacks keep the attention on your face and…er, ‘assets.’

download (3)Asparagus shaped women are straight up and down and have what if often referred to as a ‘boyish’ figure. The major upside of this shape is that there are no critical danger zones in your fashion world. The downside is that we asparagus girls don’t have a classically feminine figure. Invest in a Wonder-Bra. Or three.
-Avoid scoop necklines which show your obvious anti-cleavage. Even with a push-up bra, scoop necks won’t flatter you. Empire waistlines emphasise the lines of your bust and give the illusion of volume. Similarly, dresses and blouses that tie up at the back will flatter even the smallest of A-cups.
-Your legs are your best friend. Short dresses and skirts will compliment your shapely legs.
-A-Line skirts and belts will add definition to your waist and give your more distinct curves.
-Embellishment and detail on dresses and tops gives the illusion of a bigger bust as it can create a three-dimensional effect.
-For those who aren’t into florals but still want to feel feminine, opt for softer fabrics that gently fall over your natural figure while acting to soften the appearance of harder lines.

download (3)Carrots, you tall, elegant beauties. You are the Elle MacPhersons and Liz Hurleys the rest of us wish we could be. What advice can I possibly give you?
-Pale jeans and dark knee high boots will flatter your long legs.
-Cropped blazers and Bolero jackets will give you that effortlessly cool look. Selecting block colours will also add definition to your torso and flatter your waist.
-Soft materials and draping styles that fall elegantly over your frame will add an added degree of class. Trapeze jackets and cowl-neck jumpers will look gorgeous.
-Emphasise your bust with scoop neck tops and chunky statement necklaces.
-Thick horizontal stripes made by belts or sashes etc. cut 5cm off your height and help to balance your stature with your natural horizontals.

hourglass-cropped_A3Butternut pumpkin girls have got the Golden Trifecta. Nice bust, thin waist and a booty worthy of a Beyoncé song. Unfortunately though, not all styles can flatter everything at once. When in doubt, remember you are the modern Marilyn Monroe. The 1950s is never out of style so while everyone else is looking stupid in galaxy leggings, you simply ooze timeless elegance.
-Peplums are a fantastic way to add detail to your waist to balance it with your hips and bust, giving the illusion of a straighter silhouette.
-Darker wash jeans slim the hips and smooth your thighs so you get a cleaner line down the leg.
-The magical pencil skirt sits on, and thus emphasises, your beautiful waist, flatters the hips and draws the eyes upwards to bust and face.
-Rockabilly is a cool style on your figure, too. High-waisted shorts in summer act to lengthen the legs and give the appearance of slimmer hips and thighs.
-Don’t overdo the embellishments on tops. Block colours are best, but clean, smaller prints will define the bust without adding the illusion of extra bulk.

Some things to keep in mind no matter what shape you are:
-Skinny leg jeans do not make your legs skinny! Unfortunately not everyone is blessed with supermodel pins and that’s perfectly fine, but bootcut or retro flares will sit better and look better in the long run.
-I don’t care who you are, tights are NOT pants.
-Leggings are best worn with tunics or under long blouses. Camel toes are not a good accessory.
-Beware of clingy materials. Bodycon dresses and tight tops can look absolutely stunning on figures with smooth curves, but can also go disastrously wrong. If you find that the material is tucking into your body at all, you’re better off going a size up than risking looking like Kirstey Alley on a bad day.

Finally, just remember: everyone has got something to brag about. Happy dressing, ladies!

– by Blaire Gillies

Satisfashion: Rugby League

In this second installment of Satisfashion, I thought I’d write about something that I am clearly passionate about – that being rugby league, or NRL in particular. I’m doing the darndest thing and combining that with something that is complete opposite to rugby league – fashion. Dun dun duuuuun. Fashion in the NRL? Whatever do I mean?

Well, I’ve seen many o’ fashion mistakes at all the NRL games I’ve been to through the years and decided to help the fashionably challenged at NRL games. In spirit of the NRL finals around the corner – and seeing as my team is out for the season *Sadface* – here we go with the Do’s and Dont’s of fashion at NRL games.

The obvious fashion must at an NRL game (if you’re willingly going to one and support a team) is a footy jersey. These must be done tastefully because there are some blindingly horrendous cases that you shouldn’t wear your team’s jersey. For example, if you support the Warriors and you are going to a Broncos vs. Bulldogs game, please for the love of all that is holy, do not wear your Warriors jersey and call out ignorant things like “GO THE WARRIORS!!” Nobody found it funny the first time so no one will find it funny this time. When people do this, I want nothing more than for them to get kicked out for being stupid. Genuine team jerseys can be a bit pricey unless you know when and where to shop for your team merchandise… or you support the Eels because their jerseys are usually reduced to $60 by the fifth round.

As most nights at a league game are cold, all of the teams have their own scarves, beanies and jackets you can purchase at a relatively cheap price. These are obviously to be worn with your team’s jersey for a full-on supporter effect. Like you don’t mix patterns in an every day outfit, do not mix teams in your choice of clothing. Wearing a Bunnies jersey and a Cowboys scarf and a Raiders beanie is not funny. I repeat, NOT funny. The amount of times I see people doing this thinking they are Kevin Hart hilarious is saddening.

Now, this next one is going to be specific to women – please, I implore you, do not dress as if you are going out to Kings Cross on a Saturday night at a rugby league game. If you’re there to try and pull men, that’s fine, but in extension to that, you are dampening the spirit of the game and in the process bringing your IQ down by fifty points and making women as a whole look clueless. I know lots of diehard female NRL fans who despise the “fakers” for making them look foolish. It is possible to look great at a league game without overdoing it and looking out of place.

League games or any sport match alike is a perfect excuse if you want to go that step further and don face paint and/or something else outstanding like the Blues wigs at Origin games or body paint. There is no such thing as over-accessorizing when it comes to fan merchandise at games and that’s the thing I love. While I personally choose not to don body paint, I love seeing the team spirit in the crowd with the people that do. It’s diehard fans that make sitting in the stands watching a game that much more entertaining.

If you’re not a diehard supporter of a team and are just going to enjoy the environment with friends, wearing anything is fine.

As a Broncos fan, when I go to a Broncos game, I wear the obvious Broncos jersey, Broncos scarf, a normal pair of jeans and boots and I look fine. If I’m feeling patriotic enough, I will even wear my Broncos “cape-flag” around my neck with pride. For extra oomph, I even have a pull-out “GO BRONCOS/TRY” sign to use at the appropriate times. And thus, the appropriate look is created.

Ta da! #bronxnation

Ta da! #bronxnation

So please, everyone, do yourself a favour and dress appropriately the next time you intend on going to a league game. I’m going to watch the Bunnies vs. the Storm in what is sure to be a 5/5 stellar game between the two sides, and I’m not going to do something as foolish as wear my Broncos gear and call out “GO COREY PARKER!” Widow out!

– by The Black Widow