Tag Archives: advice

Dating Nikki: Red Flags and Bad Dates

Posted in Dating Nikki, Lifestyle by

They both come hand-in-hand really.

We’ve all heard the term ‘red flag’, and we all have our own individual red flags that we see in other people. For example, one of my biggest red flags is someone who is rude or dismissive to someone who works in hospitality or retail, whereas someone else might not view that as a red flag. I don’t know why you wouldn’t but okay.

As you navigate the dating world in your own time, I’m sure you have come across someone that displays one (or more) of your own red flags, and you’re not quite sure how to deal with it.



Let’s set the scene: you’re talking to someone on a dating app and from your online conversations, you seem to really like the person and vibe with their energy. So you agree to meet them in person at a bar or at a cafe.

You show up to the venue and you see them. The physical attraction was there over the app, but now it’s going through the roof. You can’t believe you’ve scored the jackpot with this person. You greet them and sit down from them, ready to begin your date.

And then the red flags start showing. They chew with their mouth open. They burp in public and laugh about it. They pronounce the word ‘appreciate’ like uh-pree-see-ate. Suddenly the physical attraction you saw in them starts dwindling and dwindling, to the point that you cannot wait to get away from them.

If you don’t think this situation is possible, I can attest to you that it most definitely is, because I have been a prime example of this.

For the sake of this story, let’s say his name is Baden. I had messaged Baden for a week on a dating app and he seemed lovely. He had asked me if I was interested in meeting up over coffee, and I was receptive to the idea. I went to meet him and he 1) looked like his pictures, tick, 2) greeted me politely in a friendly manner, tick and 3) seemed to vibe well with me, tick.

And then as the waiter came to clear our table, he started obnoxiously barking orders at them. Giant red flag for me. I shrugged off the first interaction as ‘maybe a once off’, but he did it again, and again. At this point, I had so many red flags waving at me that I decided I did not want to see this man ever again and I wanted this date to end as quickly as possible.

I think it’s totally within your right to stop a date whenever you’re feeling uncomfortable, regardless of your reasons, and if your red flags are the reason you wish to terminate the date, then my advice to you is to go ahead and do it but try to do it as respectfully as possible. Honest and open communication is always better than ‘playing the game’ and ghosting the other individual because you’re too scared to have that confrontation. I would heavily prefer someone tell me directly that they no longer wish to pursue anything with me, than ghost me and leave it up to me and my mind to figure out what happened.

Honestly, just cut your losses. If this person exhibited some red flags, it means they’re not right for you, and as they say… there are plenty of fish in the sea. Or whatever.

And if you’re wondering how my date ended, let’s just say I took a page out of Andie Anderson’s book and sabotaged the date on purpose so I never had to see him again. I was young, alright? I would’ve done a whole lot better if I had this advice back then!

Watch out for red flags, and happy dating y’all!

– by The Black Widow

If you have a question or need some good ol’ fashioned blunt advice from #DatingNikki, use the Contact page on our website and put in your comment “Subject: Dating Nikki”, or alternatively send me an e-mail at widowslure@gmail.com and put “Dating Nikki” in the subject line. I will respond to your cries for help as soon as possible!

Dating Nikki: The sexy selfie

Posted in Dating Nikki, Lifestyle by

Back at it with the Dating Nikki.

Hello blogosphere! It’s me again, providing you with unsolicited dating advice even though I’m notoriously single and patiently waiting for someone to turn me into a Real Housewife.

Today’s topic: the sexy selfie, or in NSFW words, the nude.

I’m sure if you’re over the age of 18 (and let’s be honest, some under the 18 unfortunately experience this) and you’ve been chatting to that guy/girl/genderqueer person and things are starting to get fairly heated between the two of you, the thought of sending them a suggestive selfie of yourself has popped into your mind.

Some people like to spice up their relationship by sending photos or videos to titillate the other. Some have to tough it out long distance and to keep the sexual chemistry alive, they choose to share their bodies over different media channels to keep that spark. Some are even capitalising off of materials like this with things like OnlyFans out there.

I’m gonna be frank here: I personally do not do nudes at all for my own reasons. But I don’t judge people who do wish to send them out.

So if you are one of those few, there are just a few things to consider if you are contemplating sharing your body in picture format with someone:

– The most important part: seek permission first. I shouldn’t have to say that consent is consent, but for the love of all that is holy, please ensure that you have the other person’s permission first before sending them your dong/box pic.
– Make sure you trust the person. You are choosing to share a private part of yourself with someone, and in this day and age, you never know what they could do with that information.
– Be prepared to face the consequences. Should, heaven forbid, your nudes get out because the person you sent them to is a royal scumbag, then unfortunately you must prepare yourself for the consequences. The internet doesn’t forget, and once your nudies are uploaded on there, they won’t be forgotten. Take a nude and send it knowing that there is a slight possibility that your grandmother’s friend’s attractive grandson might see it, or that your prospective future employer might know what your titties look like.

Now we’ve gotten the dark side of nudes out of the way, let’s talk about the scintillating part:
– Know what your partner likes. Your partner may prefer you to bare it all; they may prefer you to leave a tiny bit to the imagination. Depending on what they like, you may send them a cheeky underwear selfie, or a full blown box pic.
– Respect each other’s boundaries. If you’ve just delved into the world of sexy selfies, you may not know what each other’s limits are. Your partner may have a limit, which could be related to the above point. If they’re not ready to see your full blown genitalia on full view, then respect that limit and work your way up to it should your relationship go in that direction.
– Don’t be afraid to spice it up every now and then. You’ve gotten into the groove of communicating with your partner via sexy selfies, and now they’re wanting to shake things up a bit. Add a theme to your photos: maybe you’re a burlesque dancer at the Moulin Rouge; or you’re a sexy jungle ninja looking to ensnare your prey (IE your partner).

Now that you’ve read this post, please re-read the first point of seeking permission/consent first. I cannot drill that in enough.

Enjoy your nudes you filthy bunch of animals!

– by The Black Widow

If you have a question or need some good ol’ fashioned blunt advice from #DatingNikki, use the Contact page on our website and put in your comment “Subject: Dating Nikki”, or alternatively send me an e-mail at widowslure@gmail.com and put “Dating Nikki” in the subject line. I will respond to your cries for help as soon as possible!

My Life with Eyelash Extensions

Posted in Beauty, Body by

Look who’s having a shot at beauty writing!

A few years ago, the most beautiful thing I had done was the occasional eyebrow waxing.

Now, potentially due to the large influence of my interest in the Real Housewives franchise, my beauty regime has become a bit more intense: I get my hair dyed once a month and cut once a fortnight, my nails done once a fortnight, my eyebrows waxed once every three weeks, and am known to wear the occasional slick of lip gloss every now and then. I also get two massages a month, but that’s a different story.

My most recent foray into the world of beauty enhancement came in the form of eyelash extensions. I’ve always admired thick hoe lashes, but the one time I’ve put on false eyelashes, I felt like they were weighing my eyelids down and I hated every second of it. But with the more ‘permanent’ feel of eyelash extensions, I was keen to give them a try! I found a Groupon voucher for a full set of lash extensions, so that was all the convincing I need.

Some shameless self promotion incoming.

As you can see, I look great with them.

I can say that about myself. It’s not conceited; it’s true.

If you’re looking at getting into eyelash extensions, let me ease your mind.

Here are some things I wish I knew about getting eyelash extensions before actually getting them:

– It takes a very long time to get them done initially. I read somewhere on a company’s website that you can fall asleep during your session, and I didn’t understand why you’d want to sleep during a quick half hour visit. But they aren’t quick. Getting extensions put in for the first time can take up to two hours depending on different circumstances. My session went for about 1.5 hours. I couldn’t seem to fall asleep during the session, so go into it tired because the time will zoom past if you’re genuinely knocked unconscious.
– The difference will be super noticeable to you even if you’re going for a subtle look, to the point where you may be shocked by it. When I first looked in the mirror, I was horrified (or should I say hoerrified) because I genuinely thought I looked like a prostitute. But once you see the change, don’t react just yet; let it slide for a few days, maybe even a full week, so you can get used to them. Once you are used to them, you might come around to the look and even love them.
– Eyelash extensions are high maintenance. If you’re going to get them, get used to forking out money for them every two or three weeks to keep them going with regular infills.
– Take good care of them. Your beautician will advise you to brush them daily, and they’re telling you for good reason. Brushing your lashes daily will get rid of any natural oils that build up which could cause the glue to dissolve and make your lashes fall off. Brushing them will also keep them in good shape in case they start bending or pointing in obscure directions.
– Speaking of listening to your beautician, listen to your damn beautician! Especially if this is your first time with them, they’ll give you some vital after care instructions, including not getting them wet for 48-72 hours.
– Research your beautician before going to see them. I cannot stress this enough. Things can go wrong if you get a dodgy eyelash job. Search for testimonials, reviews, or friends recommendations when seeking out a suitable beautician. You do not want to be one of those cases that ended up getting lash lice, or faulty extensions that pulled your natural lashes out leaving you with bald eyelids.

Once you are used to your lashes and are thoroughly enjoying your new seductive look, let me just warn you that you will never go back to not having them on. Once my first set had started to fall off, it was like I looked bald and wouldn’t look fine until I had extensions back on.

Give them a try if you can! You won’t regret it!

– by The Black Widow

A Guide to Surviving the Night on Friday the 13th: The Game

Posted in Entertainment, Video Games by

Stop trying to make ki ki ki ma ma ma happen. It’s not going to happen.

If you’re a gamer of any kind – from casual to hardcore – it is assumed that you would’ve heard of the asymmetrical multiplayer survival horror game Friday the 13th: The Game. If not, let me quickly catch you up to speed. You’re teleported into the Friday the 13th film franchise, where a bunch of stereotype teenagers are innocently chilling by the campfire before Jason Voorhees finds them and kills unnamed camp counsellor, which causes the rest of the teenagers to run off and try to escape.

In this game, you will either take control of Jason, where your mission is to kill all of the teenagers before they either escape, or the game session times out; or you will take control of one of the counsellors, where your job is to either escape the campsite through various methods, or just hang on until the session ends. Because if 20 minutes runs out, Jason cannot harm you anymore. Ya know. Alternatively, it is is possible to kill Jason once and for all, but that requires a very specific procedure and teamwork. The session can have up to eight people, with one playing the role as killer. And before you ask, no. You cannot choose to be Jason. You’re randomly selected. Be sure to pay special attention the opening scene of any game session, as that may give you an idea of who is playing as Jason.

I prefer playing as a counsellor, but have dabbled as Jason and performed rather successfully as him. So if you’re thinking of buying this game, let me give you tips on how to play it well from both sides of the spectrum: as Jason, or as a Counsellor. Also as a bit of a sidenote, most of my experiences playing as a counsellor come from playing as “The Flirt” Tiffany Cox, so my gameplay experience might differ from someone else’s. But generally speaking, my counsellor tips will apply to whomever you choose to be.

Playing as Jason
– First off the bat, when you spawn as Jason in the creepy shack with your dead mother’s head next to her sweater, what you want to do is teleport to an area where you know counsellors would have spawned. In Higgins Haven, it’s best to spawn right next to the main cabin itself, as at least one or two players tend to spawn near there. In Packanack, same thing. Teleport straight to the main lodge, and you will find a bunch of counsellors there. In Camp Crystal Lake, this one’s a touch more difficult as there is no “main cabin” so to speak, but a couple of players tend to spawn near the archery deck and the garage, so a safe bet is to go there straight away.
– As most horror movies would suggest, picking them off one by one is easier than trying to take on a whole group. If you see a group of counsellors, they can easily overwhelm you, so start off by targeting one who is running on their lonesome.
– Take out the electrical boxes as soon as you possibly can. They can incite fear into the counsellors, but also prevent them from calling Tommy Jarvis, and from calling the cops.
– On your map as Jason, it tells you where the phone to call the cops is, and also where the car(s) and boat are. Be sure to keep an eye on all of these. Teleport frequently between these locations in case you catch any of those cheeky counsellors trying to install batteries, pour in gas, or attach boat propellers.
– If a counsellor enters Jason’s shack, the voice of Pamela Voorhees will alert you. You have two options, although I mostly recommend the former: a) teleport straight away to the shack and stop whoever is in there from stealing Pamela’s sweater, or b) stay exactly where you are and keep an eye on the map, as someone could be entering the shack to distract you from a car load of people about to leave the site.
– While grab kills are much more fun to watch (is that terrible of me to say?), those pesky pocket knives can be a burden to you as Jason. This may be frowned upon among FT13 players, but weakening the counsellors to the point where they can no longer run is hugely beneficial to you. You can then follow that up by straight swinging your weapon of choice and murdering them, or you could try your luck and grab them for the ultimate finale.
– If you’re mic’d up as Jason and choose to play a stealthier option, mute your mic. If your dog is barking or mum is yelling at you to take the rubbish out, the players near you will be able to hear it and can sprint away from you without giving away their location. If you’re muted, then you have a better chance of killing the counsellors. Team this method up with Jason’s stealth ability, and you’re good to go.
– Furthermore, if the counsellors are using mics, listen to them talk to each other. Most of the time, they’ll unintentionally give away someone else’s location, or their current plan of action, so you can fool their plan before they have the chance to execute it.

Playing as a Counsellor
– TEAM UP! You’re placed on a team as a reason, and it’s nearly impossible to skip solely on your own efforts. Work together, and balance out your counsellor’s weaknesses with someone else’s strengths. For example, Tiffany cannot repair to save her life, but she is stealthy and has great stamina. Find a car or boat part, run it to the location, leave it at the vehicle, and alert someone with a “smarter” character that the part is ready to be installed.
– DO NOT PURPOSELY BETRAY ONE ANOTHER. You’re a dickhead if you do. That’s all.
– While staying in groups works against you stealthy wise, it is hard for Jason to pick you off if you stand in solidarity. If Jason picks up a fellow counsellor, quickly hit him with your weapon and he is forced to drop your teammate.
– Try to carry a pocket knife, fireworks and a first aid spray where possible. If you find doubles of an item, pick it up and leave it at a central location for another team member to collect eg: near a car or boat, or near the main cabin of the map (read above).
– If possible, pick a weapon that would be useful to you. There is a reason there seem to be thousands of wrenches scattered in the map, and that’s because they suck. Shotguns and flare guns work well, with the latter also alerting everyone on the map where Jason is when fired. As melee weapons are concerned, you’re in good hands if you have a machete or a baseball bat.
– Communication is key. If you have a mic, speak to your teammates to try and organise an escape plan. If you find an important car or boat part, alert everyone on the team through your walkie talkie (if you have one) and someone may escort you there in case that annoying Jason finds you.
– For the love of all that is holy, if you are being chased by Jason, DO NOT lead him to someone else. Not only have you gotten yourself in trouble, you have now jeopardised the life of someone else. Try and keep him distracted, and if you desperately need help, ask someone to come and help you. Don’t just assume they will want to be on Jason’s radar just to save your life.
– Read each other’s game plan. What I mean by this is if you can see your team are brutalising Jason to the point where his mask has fallen off, it’s safe to say they are attempting to kill Jason. If you see this (and you are playing as a female character and no one else has already done so), run to Jason’s shack, steal Pamela’s sweater, and join your friends so you can deliver the final blow.

I bought this game the day it came out, and still currently play it religiously because it’s that much fun. I hope you can also enjoy it, because it’s worth the money. Especially now because most of the glitches that tarnished the game upon release have gone adios.

– by The Black Widow