Category Archives: Body

My Life with Eyelash Extensions

Posted in Beauty, Body by

Look who’s having a shot at beauty writing!

A few years ago, the most beautiful thing I had done was the occasional eyebrow waxing.

Now, potentially due to the large influence of my interest in the Real Housewives franchise, my beauty regime has become a bit more intense: I get my hair dyed once a month and cut once a fortnight, my nails done once a fortnight, my eyebrows waxed once every three weeks, and am known to wear the occasional slick of lip gloss every now and then. I also get two massages a month, but that’s a different story.

My most recent foray into the world of beauty enhancement came in the form of eyelash extensions. I’ve always admired thick hoe lashes, but the one time I’ve put on false eyelashes, I felt like they were weighing my eyelids down and I hated every second of it. But with the more ‘permanent’ feel of eyelash extensions, I was keen to give them a try! I found a Groupon voucher for a full set of lash extensions, so that was all the convincing I need.

Some shameless self promotion incoming.

As you can see, I look great with them.

I can say that about myself. It’s not conceited; it’s true.

If you’re looking at getting into eyelash extensions, let me ease your mind.

Here are some things I wish I knew about getting eyelash extensions before actually getting them:

– It takes a very long time to get them done initially. I read somewhere on a company’s website that you can fall asleep during your session, and I didn’t understand why you’d want to sleep during a quick half hour visit. But they aren’t quick. Getting extensions put in for the first time can take up to two hours depending on different circumstances. My session went for about 1.5 hours. I couldn’t seem to fall asleep during the session, so go into it tired because the time will zoom past if you’re genuinely knocked unconscious.
– The difference will be super noticeable to you even if you’re going for a subtle look, to the point where you may be shocked by it. When I first looked in the mirror, I was horrified (or should I say hoerrified) because I genuinely thought I looked like a prostitute. But once you see the change, don’t react just yet; let it slide for a few days, maybe even a full week, so you can get used to them. Once you are used to them, you might come around to the look and even love them.
– Eyelash extensions are high maintenance. If you’re going to get them, get used to forking out money for them every two or three weeks to keep them going with regular infills.
– Take good care of them. Your beautician will advise you to brush them daily, and they’re telling you for good reason. Brushing your lashes daily will get rid of any natural oils that build up which could cause the glue to dissolve and make your lashes fall off. Brushing them will also keep them in good shape in case they start bending or pointing in obscure directions.
– Speaking of listening to your beautician, listen to your damn beautician! Especially if this is your first time with them, they’ll give you some vital after care instructions, including not getting them wet for 48-72 hours.
– Research your beautician before going to see them. I cannot stress this enough. Things can go wrong if you get a dodgy eyelash job. Search for testimonials, reviews, or friends recommendations when seeking out a suitable beautician. You do not want to be one of those cases that ended up getting lash lice, or faulty extensions that pulled your natural lashes out leaving you with bald eyelids.

Once you are used to your lashes and are thoroughly enjoying your new seductive look, let me just warn you that you will never go back to not having them on. Once my first set had started to fall off, it was like I looked bald and wouldn’t look fine until I had extensions back on.

Give them a try if you can! You won’t regret it!

– by The Black Widow

The Lazy-asses guide to losing weight: the diet edition

Posted in Body, Food & Nutrition by

This lazy-asses guide is that lazy, it’s taken over a month to come out!

If you haven’t read The Lazy-asses guide to losing weight: the workout edition, I suggest you read that first before delving into the diet edition.

The greater proportion of losing weight is unfortunately in the diet. That means that no matter how much you workout, you can’t use that as a justification for eating three bowls of nachos, a cheese pizza and a chocolate brownie. (If this sentence has made you crave said nachos, pizza and brownie, I apologise).

Personally, I love eating. Food is great. Food tastes great. Even being the vegetarian that I am, I prefer to eat the fatty/sugary non animal products like chocolate, cheese pizza, chocolate, and more cheese pizza, as opposed to the obviously-vegetarian options like… vegetables, and fruit. YES: BEING A VEGETARIAN DOES NOT GUARANTEE A HEALTHY DIET. Just thought I’d get that misconception out of the way.

Because Nikki Bella didn't get that body by drowning herself in peanut butter. (CREDIT: WWE.com)

Because Nikki Bella didn’t get that body by drowning herself in peanut butter. (CREDIT: WWE.com)

The most obvious thing to do to alter your diet and make it healthier is:

Cut out the bad foods
The easiest solution to turning your diet upside down is to eliminate the obviously bad foods, or “substituting them”. Instead of having a midnight snack of chocolate and chips, opt for a bowl of yoghurt with cut up banana in it. On your lunch break? Grab a sandwich and/or a salad instead of a burger and chips. Healthy eating isn’t as bad as it’s made out to be. I’ve actually come to enjoy eating salads as much as I do cheese pizza. And my relationship with cheese pizza is still going strong after all this time.

For me, substitution has played the strongest point of my change in diet. No matter how fit I am or how trim my stomach may get, I will always love eating. It’s just what I eat that plays the major factor in whether I look like Nikki Bella or Peter Griffin.

One thing that keeps me going through my diet is having something to look forward to. That something is my cheat day, which I’ve conveniently placed on a Saturday. It’s like you’re going through a dark tunnel and there’s a light at the end… only for the cycle to repeat itself, but that’s beside the point. It’s alright to have a little cheat day once a week. Just make sure you don’t splurge it. I’m talking waiting-by-the-clock-for-the-strike-of-midnight-and-then-eating-everything-in-sight splurging. Of course, if you don’t trust yourself with a full 24 hours of no dieting, then a cheat meal will also suffice, in which case, yes, splurge all you want in that one meal.

If you manage to substitute your foods, eat a cleaner diet and on top of that, work off your little butt, you will be looking as great as ever. And when you do look that great, you can refer them to Widow’s Lure as your inspiration.

I accept credit card, PayPal and boxes of chocolates (on Saturdays).

Happy weight-loss!

– by The Black Widow

The Lazy-asses guide to losing weight: the workout edition

Posted in Body, Health & Fitness by

Not to be confused with the lazy-asses guide to losing weight: the food edition, which will be posted at a later date.

Hi, I’m the Black Widow, and in the past three months, I have lost ten kilos. To some, that may be a walk in the park, but for me, that’s a whopping change. For my entire life, I have relied heavily on my metabolism to cut down my body weight and remain the trim little spitfire that I am, but it eventually caught up on me and I packed on a few extra kilos that weren’t necessarily wanted. Finally, after snatching a good deal with Anytime Fitness, I decided to shed that extra weight and return to my most fitting form.

I know some of you have read weight loss stories and thought “But these people have all the motivation and discipline in the world to achieve their goals, and I don’t. How will this work for me?” The solution is simple: me. I can honestly tell you that when it comes to physical exercise, I am one of the laziest mofos in the world. Usually, when someone starts going to the gym and they get into a regular pattern, they love going to the gym and can’t get enough of it. For me, after three months of regularly attending the gym, I still dread going to that metal clanging-and-banging hellhole.

Those are interesting coloured paperweights...

Those are interesting coloured paperweights…

To help others get fit and get into the shape they desire, I have compiled a list of steps that I personally took to help me achieve my weight loss:

Step one: Set a goal
I know it’s cliché to say this but a goal is needed if you’re even thinking of getting into shape. I set a goal as soon as I decided to go to the gym and it’s definitely helped me. When I am struggling to breathe as I run for my dear life on the treadmill, or my arms are about to snap off when I’m lifting weights, I think of my ultimate goal and picture it in my head… and it allows me to keep going. For at least another like two minutes or so.

Step two: Stay disciplined
After a few days of hitting the gym, you’ll feel really pumped and think “Yeah! This is for me!” but then you’ll gradually stop going until you realise you’re donating money to the gym. Don’t fall into this trap. If, for some reason, you feel yourself thinking “Hey, I don’t need to go tonight” or “I can do without the gym just this one week”, discipline yourself . You won’t achieve that goal if you skip a day or two. You’ll go back to the way you were if you miss an entire week. For me, if I keep this thought in mind, I will always go back to the gym: “If I miss the gym tonight, I won’t get to walk around the beach without a shirt on because people will think a whale has washed ashore and throw water on me.”

Step three: Stick to a schedule
In a similar light to setting a goal, planning a weekly schedule will keep you going. If you go to the gym with no real set plan in mind, you’ll just aimlessly wander around, pretending to use cardio machines and looking at your dumpy ass in the mirror and then go home. What did you achieve? Nothing. However, if you know that Monday is leg day and Wednesday is abs day, then you’ll know what to do, how long to do it and what’s up next. For me, I plan to go to the gym at least five times a week with three of those days being dedicated to specific parts of my body. If I miss a day, you can bet your sweet ass I’ll catch up with it next week.

Step four: Believe you can do it… the results will show
I had a really good week at the gym in mid-December. I had been hitting the gym really hard and felt great about myself. I stepped onto the scale and… still the same. Honestly, it shattered me a bit and I thought “I’ve been killing myself for so long and nothing is showing!” Like all good things in life, however, it’ll come to the patient ones who wait. Don’t let a bunch of numbers and results slow your efforts down. Stick to your plan and I can guarantee you the results will show themselves eventually. It also helps if a friend of yours stops and says “Hey, you’ve lost weight!” because then you’ll know that something is changing, and it’ll motivate you to keep going.

Now I’m sure there are plenty of other things you could do to maximise your efforts at the gym, but these four fundamental steps will prove vital in your journey to your ultimate weight loss destination. If a naturally lazy writer like me can get off my laptop and go to the gym (begrudgingly, of course), then I’m sure you can as well.

Of course, the other (bigger) half of weight loss is eating properly. Stay tuned as I tell you what I did to my diet which led to my weight loss.

– by The Black Widow

The Lone Vegetarian

Posted in Body, Food & Nutrition by

The sky was an eery shade of red and the vermillion hues in the grass matched it perfectly. The sounds of cattle crying out sounded throughout the field. A baby piglet stared up at me with its lifeless eyes, its mouth slightly ajar. Blood was pouring out of its neck profusely.

#datvegetarianlyf

#datvegetarianlyf

This was the nightmare I had as a teenager that made me want to become a vegetarian for the right reasons. I had tried it once before, with the goal of losing weight by taking meat out of my diet, but it didn’t work out. Now, I can happily say that I’ve stuck with my vegetarianism for the past six years because of that conscious decision I made.

As a Pacific Islander – who are infamous meat eaters in their own right – living life as a vegetarian in a family full of carnivores is definitely as difficult as it sounds. With my busy schedule of combining college, work and my outside hobbies, I barely get enough time to cook a decent meal for myself. When I get home and there’s a chicken dish sitting on the kitchen counter, it’s either my job to a) Pick around the deceased animal and eat or b) Think of something quick and easy to make. On my most busy days, a pot of boiling water and a bag of pasta becomes my best friend.

Nine times out of ten, I have to cook for myself on my days off. Dinner will usually consist of meat which means I’ll have to cook my own vegetarian option. If my family is feeling sorry for me, they’ll either make the main dish vegetarian acceptable or take out a bit for me before they add the meat. When I go to extended family events or social gatherings, the meat-eater in my relatives and friends are very apparent and my options are very limited. I am usually only left with a bit of salad and baked potatoes on my plate.

Dining out as a vegetarian has become a lot easier than it was when I first started: I am aware of my options and know which restaurants cater to the eating-conscious. There are a few restaurants that have little to no vegetarian options so I’m left with ordering an egg and mayo sandwich and a glass of water.

I’ve learned most of the dishes in my arsenal from my mother. When there’s meat involved, I easily just substitute it with tofu and my own version of the meal is created! One of my go-to dishes is called a “Hawaiian Haystack” which was passed down from my mum: it’s basically a dish where you have rice and stack honey mustard tofu on top of that, and you continue to stack various ingredients on top of that, including cheese, dry noodles and pineapple. Seriously. Try it. Honey mustard tofu is to die for.

Life as a vegetarian in a family full of meat eaters is challenging,  but it’s not impossible. Nothing is impossible for me. Insert arrogant hairflip here.

– by The Black Widow