Six Songs That’ll Make You Change Your Mind About Country

When I say yee, you say haw.

It seems within pop culture that the go-to music genre to hate is country, and I truly don’t understand why. I understand that some of the traditional country artists like Willie Nelson and George Strait may not be so appealing to the millennials of today, but the contemporary country music coming out today are producing banger after banger after banger, and I feel if people gave it a chance, they might actually come to liking it.

From artists like Kacey Musgraves to Chris Lane, Lady Antebellum to Little Big Town, there is a touch of country out there for everyone; you just need to know where to find it.

And that’s where I come in. I’m going to point you in that right direction so you can #GiveCountryMusicAChance and I guarantee that you’ll like at least one of the songs on this list.

Without further ado, here are six country songs that’ll make you change your mind on the genre.

1. High Horse by Kacey Musgraves

If you know me, it should come to no surprise to you that my first entry on this list is a Kacey Musgraves song because I stan the absolute fuck out of her. I told my hip-hop, RnB and rap-heavy brother to give this song a go and he ended up loving it!

High Horse comes from Kacey’s latest album, Golden Hour, which won a shit ton of awards for how iconic it is; this track is country infused with disco, catchy pop tunes, and is just overall amazing. If you want to dip your toe into country music, this is a good song to start off with.

2. If I Know Me by Morgan Wallen

I have to thank my handsome friend Faz for this recommendation as he was the one that introduced me to this ultimate banger. I added it to my playlist as soon as he showed it to me and I have not regretted it at all.

This song comes from Wallen’s debut album If I Know Me – which should give you a hint that this album was named after this iconic piece of art – and features a knee-tapping beat, easy to follow lyrics, and some impressive vocals from the man himself. If you’re into pop male artists, then you’ll probably like this song.

3. Take Back Home Girl by Chris Lane ft. Tori Kelly

Are you a fan of a love ballad? Then you’ll like this one!

This song was my introduction into Chris Lane, who has quickly become one of my favourite artists. Featuring some unsurprisingly stunning vocals from Tori Kelly, Take Back Home Girl comes off Lane’s most recent album, Laps Around the Sun; this song is a beautiful love story that your parents will love with a heavy RnB influence on the otherwise country song.

4. Tennessee Whiskey by Chris Stapleton

The fact that Chris Stapleton won a shit ton of awards with his debut album Traveller, which this iconic song comes from, should give you a fair idea of how great this song is.

A remake of Dean Dillon and Linda Hargrove’s hit, Tennessee Whiskey features the (pardon the pun) smooth vocals of Stapleton with his unique and powerful voice. If you’re into blues and lounge music, then give this one a go.

5. Snapback by Old Dominion

A song that was definitely written about Nikki Bella and her iconic snapbacks my introduction to Old Dominion, Snapback is country’s version of someone like Trey Songz singing about how beautiful this girl is and how much he wants to date her.

With a catchy chorus, and lyrics vividly that describe Nikki Bella the woman in question, this pop-infused country song has a laidback, easy-going upbeat vibe that could turn even the most anti-country person into a believer.

6. You Look Good by Lady Antebellum

The lead song from their seventh album, Heart BreakYou Look Good was the reinvigoration that Lady Antebellum needed in their career after their somewhat-success of their previous album, 747.

You Look Good has the unsurprisingly amazing and contrasting vocals of Charles Kelley and Hillary Scott, but also has a new funky jazz influence that Lady Antebellum haven’t really channeled before. This daring change was a huge success as this is easily one of my favourite Lady A songs of all time.

So if you’re looking to add a bit of country spice to your playlist, but don’t want to get into the hardcore country style of music (just yet), give these songs a listen and I guarantee you’ll be playing the country music channel more.

– by The Black Widow

I Am Nikki Bella

I’m Nikki Bella, and no one can tell me otherwise.

I identify as a 33-year-old American woman of Mexican and Italian heritage. My name is Stephanie Nicole Garcia-Colace. I have a twin sister named Brianna Danielson, and a younger brother named JJ. I was born in San Diego, California, but was raised on a farm in Scottsdale, Arizona. I currently wrestle in World Wrestling Entertainment as part of its Smackdown brand. I got my first exposure to the wrestling business participating in a talent search in 2006 called the WWE Diva Search with my sister Brie. We didn’t win the competition but were later hired and sent to WWE’s training facility, which at the time was called Florida Championship Wrestling. I am the longest reigning Divas Champion in WWE history, and a two-time Divas Champion. Currently, I live in Tampa, Florida with my boyfriend, who you may know… his name is John Cena. My sister is married to Brian Danielson, and JJ is married to a woman named Lauren, who we affectionately call “Lola”.

I am currently involved in a program with Mike Mizanin (known simply as The Miz) and Maryse Ouellet-Mizanin, and with my love John by my side, we will collide at WrestleMania 33 in the most hyped mixed-tag team match in WWE history. I say mixed tag, because it’s a male (John) and a female (me) vs. The Miz (male) and Maryse (female). This is a long time waiting, because John and I have never appeared on WWE TV together before, and the February 28, 2017 episode of Smackdown marked the first time we performed as a couple, appearing in a segment with The Miz and Maryse.

People may see me as a 5’11 Australian man of Samoan, Maori and Irish descent, but I don’t like to be defined by other people’s perceptions of me. I am a beautiful, sexy, voluptuous woman who loves wearing designer clothes and is damn proud to show off this curvy body. I am trapped in this body other people see – that of a 24-year-old man – but when I look in the mirror, I see a sexy Latina woman who has conquered the world, defied the haters and have gone on to rise to fame as one of the all-time great female superstars in WWE history.

I know you’re reading this, and you seem confused. And that’s fine. I don’t care what you conformists think. In this politically correct world, all you can do is sit there and accept that I identify as Nikki Bella, my true self. Lady Gaga told me that I was born this way, and I was born as a beautiful Latina woman.

I see two different pictures of the same person.

I see two different pictures of the same person.

Now, if you have read this far and you think that I am completely out of mind, you would be correct. It would be crazy for me to think that I was Nikki Bella, because I’m not. I cannot possibly identify as someone or something that I am not, because that is a huge damage to my mental health.

So if you’re sitting there thinking that I need to seek mental help for believing that I am a famous WWE superstar, then why the hell do we have to accept that other people identify as inanimate objects or various types of animals?

In this horrible politically correct era we are unfortunately going through, we’re led to believe that we have to just sit back and accept what other people want to believe they are. And if we dare question it, we’re backwards thinking and close-minded, and we’re the bad guys. It’s become almost poisonous to identify someone with their most obvious feature if I wanted to pick out someone in a room; in a room of 50 people, suddenly saying “Oh the Asian woman there” is not only “racist”, but it’s also presumptuous because “what if that woman doesn’t identify as a woman and would prefer to be known as a sheep because she is a sheepkin?”

Fuck that.

Don’t get me wrong, if you’re a man and identify as a woman, have at it. Other way round? Go for gold. But don’t attack me for assuming your gender because I have no bloody idea what you identify as unless you tell me. Unless there is a special metahuman out there with the ability to mindread, nobody can read minds. Don’t be offended if someone can’t read your mind. Just kindly tell them “Hey, I’d prefer if you thought of me as a bloke instead”, and the other person will be like “No worries man.” Don’t attack them. You’re just victimising yourself and proving that you are indeed a precious little snowflake.

But if you’re going to sit there and say you’re an “owlkin” or a “pairofredscissorskin”, then you need to seek professional mental help immediately. Call me every name under the sun if you want for “not understanding” you, that doesn’t matter because at the end of the day, you have mental health issues, and if we’re going to treat someone with bipolar disorder as someone with mental health issues, then someone who identifies as a cheetah needs to be looked at.

It’s not cool. You need help. And there are several sources of aid you can seek out there that will help you.

Oh, and just for the record, the opening of this article was all false. I love Nikki Bella and am a big fan, but that is it. I’m proud to be the man that I am that adopted the nickname of Nikki from a joke that started at work nearly three years ago. And that’s all I identify as, thanks for asking.

– by Noah La’ulu

The Lazy-asses guide to losing weight: the diet edition

This lazy-asses guide is that lazy, it’s taken over a month to come out!

If you haven’t read The Lazy-asses guide to losing weight: the workout edition, I suggest you read that first before delving into the diet edition.

The greater proportion of losing weight is unfortunately in the diet. That means that no matter how much you workout, you can’t use that as a justification for eating three bowls of nachos, a cheese pizza and a chocolate brownie. (If this sentence has made you crave said nachos, pizza and brownie, I apologise).

Personally, I love eating. Food is great. Food tastes great. Even being the vegetarian that I am, I prefer to eat the fatty/sugary non animal products like chocolate, cheese pizza, chocolate, and more cheese pizza, as opposed to the obviously-vegetarian options like… vegetables, and fruit. YES: BEING A VEGETARIAN DOES NOT GUARANTEE A HEALTHY DIET. Just thought I’d get that misconception out of the way.

Because Nikki Bella didn't get that body by drowning herself in peanut butter. (CREDIT: WWE.com)

Because Nikki Bella didn’t get that body by drowning herself in peanut butter. (CREDIT: WWE.com)

The most obvious thing to do to alter your diet and make it healthier is:

Cut out the bad foods
The easiest solution to turning your diet upside down is to eliminate the obviously bad foods, or “substituting them”. Instead of having a midnight snack of chocolate and chips, opt for a bowl of yoghurt with cut up banana in it. On your lunch break? Grab a sandwich and/or a salad instead of a burger and chips. Healthy eating isn’t as bad as it’s made out to be. I’ve actually come to enjoy eating salads as much as I do cheese pizza. And my relationship with cheese pizza is still going strong after all this time.

For me, substitution has played the strongest point of my change in diet. No matter how fit I am or how trim my stomach may get, I will always love eating. It’s just what I eat that plays the major factor in whether I look like Nikki Bella or Peter Griffin.

One thing that keeps me going through my diet is having something to look forward to. That something is my cheat day, which I’ve conveniently placed on a Saturday. It’s like you’re going through a dark tunnel and there’s a light at the end… only for the cycle to repeat itself, but that’s beside the point. It’s alright to have a little cheat day once a week. Just make sure you don’t splurge it. I’m talking waiting-by-the-clock-for-the-strike-of-midnight-and-then-eating-everything-in-sight splurging. Of course, if you don’t trust yourself with a full 24 hours of no dieting, then a cheat meal will also suffice, in which case, yes, splurge all you want in that one meal.

If you manage to substitute your foods, eat a cleaner diet and on top of that, work off your little butt, you will be looking as great as ever. And when you do look that great, you can refer them to Widow’s Lure as your inspiration.

I accept credit card, PayPal and boxes of chocolates (on Saturdays).

Happy weight-loss!

– by Noah La’ulu