The Housewives of Potomac: Ranked

Word on the street is this is another Real Housewives article.

As my working from home days are coming to an end, that means the intimate relationship I’ve had with my TV and hayU account will soon drastically change. But until that day comes, I will continue to binge watch as much Real Housewives as possible!

This time I will be ranking the ladies of Potomac. Real Housewives of Potomac came with a glowing review from my sister, who had compared it to a combination of Beverly Hills and Atlanta. Considering that they are two of my favourite franchises, it was a no brainer that this would be the next franchise I’d start.

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Real Housewives of Potomac has spanned, as of writing, six seasons and featured ten full-time housewives. Let’s get to ranking!

10. Candiace Dillard Bassett
Contrary to popular belief, I haven’t just recently turned on Candiace in the past couple of seasons; unfortunately I’ve just never liked her. Candiace strikes me as the type of person who grew up with a silver spoon in their mouth and never had to face the consequences of their actions, and when those consequences hit her, she cries victim. Thanku, next.

9. Charrisse Jackson-Jordan
According to some reports on Twitter, we have Charrisse to thank for rounding up the crew for the first season of RHOP so I am thankful to her for that. Other than that, I don’t have much to say about Charrisse. She was boring, and even when she tried to stir up drama, it was boring. Soz hun.

8. Wendy Osefo
Wendy had the potential to be a lot higher on this list. Her somewhat condescending performance on season five put her at the bottom, but the first half of season six she seemed to be redeeming herself. And then the second half happened. And here we are. I’m sorry professor but you are trying too hard to be iconic when really, if you just be yourself that’s iconic enough.

7. Robyn Dixon
I really want to like Robyn more than what I actually do; she’s funny, breathtakingly beautiful, and is a great mother to her kids. But for six seasons we have sat through the exact same storyline with Robyn – talking about Juan and their complicated relationship – and believe me when I say we are tired of it.

6. Mia Thornton
If Mia stayed off Twitter, she’d be a lot higher on this list. I really liked Mia when we were first introduced to her in season six and I thought she had a lot of potential. She was funny, glamorous, shady when she needed to be, and who can forget the absolute flair she had when tossing that lettuce at Candiace? Her messy antics on Twitter, however, prevent her from going any higher on this list.

5. Gizelle Bryant
The Queen of Shade herself comes in at the halfway mark. Gizelle really is a top-tier housewife who is the definition of understanding the assignment. She’s funny, she’s entertaining, she’s so beautiful, and she’s shady… sometimes too shady. With all that being said, I love watching the scenes with her daughters because she is such a wonderful mother.

4. Ashley Darby
Ashley was by far my favourite in season one, and she wouldn’t been higher on this list had it not been for her husband. Ashley is gorgeous, not scared to get into a scrap if needs be, and is completely messy, which she admits to being. I do however frown at her being completely blind to Michael’s actions, and some might even argue that she enables it.

3. Katie Rost
Katie is an interesting case. At first I didn’t take to her that much in season one, but as that season went on, she grew to be one of my favourites. And after two seasons away, she came back in as a FOH in season four and was absolutely my most favourite thing about that season. She’s so unapologetically herself and somewhat blunt… she’s Katie Rost.

2. Karen Huger
If you’re a RHOP fan then you know you’re either Camp Gizelle or Camp Karen. Considering that Gizelle has already been rated, then you know that I’m definitely Camp Karen. Much like her counterpart, Karen definitely understands the assignment, and the Grand Dame almost epitomises what RHOP is.

1. Monique Samuels
Monique is by far my favourite of the franchise. She has the wealthy housewife lifestyle that us fans love, but also keeps the part of her identity that she was raised with, and I think that’s something to really be admired. Everything that a Real Housewife should be Monique was, and although season five’s events led to her departure, Monique to me is definitely one of the realest housewives of any franchise.

With season six officially finished, I eagerly anticipate season seven and hope that any cast changes shake up the show’s dynamics to bring even more reasonable shade!

– by The Black Widow

You Don’t Need to Tell Me I’m Fabulous

At the risk of sounding overly offended/PC…

I have had an issue with people describing me with certain words for almost my entire life, and it wasn’t until recent that I understood why. And no, I’m not referring to people insulting me or calling me names because I tend to let that bounce off the thick skin I’ve built over the years as a queer POC.

If you don’t know me, then to summarise myself, I would say that I am an extrovert-introvert mix; when I am extroverted, I can be loud, brash, and the life of the party; when I am introverted, I keep to myself and like spending quality alone time. My introvert side is reserved for when I am at home or in a comfortable place, so when I am among friends and family, then my extrovert side comes out, and that is the side of me people tend to see.

I am carefree in that I wear whatever I want without fear of judgment or conforming to gender expectations. I like to put a lot of effort into my appearance – again without conforming to gender expectations – so as a cis male, I regularly get my eyelashes/nails/hair done, among other things. So one would look at me and make an easy assumption that I am very exuberant, bubbly, free-spirited, and outgoing. I fuck with these adjectives as they are, in a general sense on a surface level, very accurate.

Some of the adjectives that I have issue with (which is not an all-inclusive list), however, are fabulous and flamboyant. Let me tell you why.

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This is an actual flamboyance. SOURCE: Charity Davenport’s Flickr photostream

Dictionary.com defines fabulous as:
adjective
1) Informal. exceptionally good or unusual; wonderful; superb.

With that definition, the word fabulous can describe a lot of different things, and a lot of different people. A flashy Lambourghini could be described as fabulous. Chris Hemsworth could be described as fabulous; I mean look at the man.

However pop culture has determined that this word is reserved for two groups of people: large female personalities, and large queer male personalities, and thus lies the “issue” I have with being called fabulous.

To me, when someone calls me fabulous, it’s somewhat of a microaggression because really they’re just calling me “super stereotypically gay” and they don’t know how else to say it because society has conditioned them to believe that only people like me and Sharpay Evans can be fabulous. I could opt to wear a more conservative outfit like a pair of trackies and a t-shirt and sit quietly in the corner on my phone, but because I still retain my sexual orientation, I would still be described as “fabulous” even though there’s nothing exceptionally good or unusual about my presentation.

Furthermore, Dictionary.com defines flamboyant as
adjective
1) strikingly bold or brilliant; showy:
2) conspicuously dashing and colorful:
3) florid; ornate; elaborately styled.

Even though the dictionary definition of flamboyant could be used to describe a lot of things much like the word fabulous can, I can assure you that the first thing that popped in your head upon reading the word was a gay man wearing a bold pink outfit throwing feathers and glitter around because that’s society’s definition of flamboyant.

The word ‘flamboyant’ is a more blatant case or microaggression than the word ‘fabulous’ in that over-the-top women are barely ever described as flamboyant, if ever; this word is almost solely reserved for the “stereotypically gay males”.

One could make the argument that I have a very similar (extroverted) personality to Gizelle Bryant from Real Housewives of Potomac, but because she’s a cis female, she would never be described as flamboyant, whereas that adjective would be thrown at me like darts on a board.

I remember I was once in a class for uni and my lecturer at the time described a female student, who on the surface level had a very similar personality to me, as ‘bubbly and outgoing’, and then turned to me and said ‘flamboyant’.

I didn’t like it at the time, and I couldn’t put my finger on why I didn’t like it. It’s because it’s an adjective that society has reserved solely for gay/queer men, and like the term fabulous, it’s a microaggression that people use to describe someone when “over the top gay” isn’t appropriate or PC.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying that it’s offensive to refer to someone as fabulous or flamboyant when really there is a compliment painted in that word. My main gripe with it as that when these words are used as a light-hearted way to just essentially call someone gay/queer, then you are pigeonholing that person into being just what their sexual orientation is.

We as members of the LGTBQI+ community have so much more to offer than just our sexual orientation. I have many friends within the community, and their sexual orientation or little microaggression terms like fabulous or flamboyant are not within the top 20 words I would use to describe them, and I would hope my friends think the same of me.

I am strong and resilient as I have bounced back from numerous hardships in my life.
I am fiercely loyal to my family and friends.
I am outgoing and love meeting new people.
I speak before I think, which can result in me either sounding really blunt, or really ditzy.

I am many several things before I am just pigeonholed into being queer.

– by The Black Widow

What RHOD Needs to Make a Comeback

I’m still grieving guys. Give me a moment.

By now we have all heard the news that Real Housewives of Dallas has been placed on an indefinite hiatus and has not been renewed for a season six yet. This may not come as a shock to some huge Bravo fans as RHOD was one of the less popular franchises, but I personally really enjoyed RHOD and thought it had some great potential.

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There are many factors that could contribute to Bravo’s decision to not renew RHOD as of now, including low ratings and controversy surrounding the show with accusations of racism and xenophobia. But I don’t think the franchise is entirely dead, and if some changes are made, I believe the franchise could make a comeback within the coming years much like Real Housewives of Miami has done.

Here are five suggestions I have for RHOD to come back fighting strong. Because let’s be honest, we all need to see D’andra do more random shit, and we all need some more iconic Stephanie Hollman one-liners.

1. Kameron needs to go
Whether you believe these are reports or just rumours, there has been speculation that Kameron’s falling out with Tiffany Moon after season five was so bad that Kameron tried to give Bravo an ultimatum: if you want me on season six, then you need to fire Tiffany Moon. Given that ultimatum, the decision is really quite simple: get rid of Kameron, keep Tiffany. Kameron offers next to nothing to the show, has a really pretentious manner, and nitpicks at really small things to try seem ‘housewifey’ when her attempts fall flat (her bringing receipts to the season five reunion thinking she was funny or shady yet everyone else was bored with it). Tiffany was a ball of fun, wasn’t scared to say what was on her mind, and wasn’t against the drama. Really you’re comparing an Hermes handbag to something you can find in K-Mart. See ya later, Kameron.

2. Brandi and Stephanie no more?
On top of getting rid of Kameron, I feel as if my favourite Bravo friendship may have to come to an end as well. Brandi Redmond took to social media to say she wouldn’t be interested in coming back to the show, and to be honest I don’t think there’s a space for her anyway. Her abysmal season five served her downfall and I think not coming back is best for her and the show. As much as I love her, I don’t know if Stephanie could be as strong a housewife if Brandi isn’t on the show with her. She was beautiful and hilarious, but playing the peacekeeper for as long as she did can only do her so well.

3. New stars, new Housewives
Taking the above into consideration, I really think RHOD could benefit from having new faces and a seven-housewife cast. The more housewives, the more drama, and I think drama is what RHOD has been lacking since Leeanne left. If Kameron and Brandi are gone, and let’s say for the sake of this argument that Stephanie is also gone, that leaves four new spots for four new housewives to reach a seven-person cast. With new faces comes new drama, and new dynamics that could come into play to bring that spark back to RHOD. But speaking of introducing new faces…

4. Welcome back Cary!
Introducing four brand new faces would be a very bold move for the franchise to make if they were going to do four new housewives + three existing housewives. In saying that, their best option to counterbalance that is to bring back a former housewife plus three new faces, and of the three choices we have (Tiffany Hendra, Leeanne Locken and Cary Deuber), Cary is definitely the best bet. She was funny and witty and so glamorous, and she wasn’t afraid to bring the heat when the occasion called for it. Her bone collecting skills leave a bit to be desired, but I think bringing Cary back into the fray would be a nice change for the show.


5. The Housewives need to pull their weight
There’s no denying that in the early seasons, Leeanne Locken really carried the show. She was the catalyst for most if not all of the drama, and her funny one-liners and explosive moments really made the show. Essentially, it felt like the Leeanne show ft. the other housewives. This was until D’andra started carrying her own from season three onwards, and then Tiffany Moon helped with the load in season five. Brandi contributed a bit, Cary was okay, Stephanie was essentially moral support, and Kameron and Kary gave nothing to the show. For a Real Housewives franchise to be continuously successful, it needs all of the housewives to pull their weight. They can’t just rely on D’andra and Tiffany for the ratings and the success. Maybe they can all take a lesson from Kyle Richards in the art of ghost producing.

While I wouldn’t say that RHOD is my all-time favourite Real Housewives franchise, it’s definitely up there as a show that I really loved and enjoyed and I don’t want to see it fail anytime soon. Here’s to hoping that this indefinite hiatus is only a short-term thing and we can get back to seeing D’andra do some funny ass shit on our screens again.

– by The Black Widow

The Housewives of Dallas: Ranked

Would you believe it… more Real Housewives content!

Because this Sydney lockdown is never-ending, I’ve had all the time in the world to catch up on some Real Housewives franchises. After finishing Atlanta, I decided to watch Real Housewives of Dallas because I have such a love for the Southern charm that’s in Texas.

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While the other franchises that I’ve reviewed and ranked on here had featured several women across a lot of seasons, RHOD has only featured nine housewives across five seasons. While the future of the franchise is up in the air, I am still excited to rank these iconic housewives in order of personal preference.

Without further ado… the Real Housewives of Dallas ranked!

9. Kameron Westcott
Kameron’s whole thing during the show is that she puts on a character when she’s really an intelligent woman behind the mask, but quite frankly I think she is one of the most pretentious women on any Real Housewives franchise ever. You could just tell that everything she said and did was rehearsed and fake and at no point did I ever find myself liking her. Also how is a white woman going to tell an Asian woman she’s racist against Asians and that Chinese food isn’t part of Chinese culture.

8. Kary Brittingham
I feel as if Kary was an addition that didn’t really add much to the show at all, besides being a drunk mess in season five. I had no real connection with her at all during the show, but I can say I was 100% on her side during the season four xenophobic drama.

7. Leeanne Locken
Every franchise has that one Housewife…and if you’re a Real Housewives fan then you know exactly what I’m referring to. Leanne is that Housewife for Dallas. She stirred up all the drama for the seasons she was in, she was the catalyst for most if not all of the fights, and she was that bitch. Which is exactly why she’s near the bottom of this list. Plus the xenophobia of season four… yeah, no.

6. Tiffany Hendra
I really liked Tiffany in season one, and I was kind of confused why she was dropped straight away. I thought she was a straight shooter and wasn’t scared to put up a fight, especially against her own best friend Leeanne. She comes in at sixth for lack of time in getting to know her.

5. Brandi Redmond
Brandi really was the life of RHOD, constantly being featured in storylines and promotional materials. Her big smile and red hair are pretty synonymous with the franchise. Hers and Stephanie’s friendship is without a doubt my favourite friendship in any of the Real Housewives shows. In saying that, her attitude in season five prevents her from going any higher on this list.

4. Cary Deuber
Watching season one, Cary was immediately my favourite. She was sassy, fun, glamorous, and you could just tell that she was super comfortable being herself. Her failed attempt at being the Bone Collector in season three a la Sheree Whitfield of RHOA does stop her from going any higher on this list however. However, homegirl always had some killer taglines.

3. Tiffany Moon
I wanted to start watching RHOD because I had seen so many glowing reviews for Tiffany Moon, saying she made season five and she was a breath of fresh air for the show. And after finishing the show, I can definitely see why fans seem so enamoured with her. She is brilliant, stylish, and so entertaining to watch. I need RHOD to come back just so we can see more Tiffany Moon!

2. Stephanie Hollman
Knowing that I was always going to do a ranking post for RHOD, Stephanie Hollman would’ve ranked at number one had season four and five not happened. I love her and Brandi’s friendship so much, but of the two, Stephanie is way more preferable. She’s unapologetic, funny, and just a great blonde ball of energy, while keeping a Southern Belle charm to herself. She managed to stay out of the drama while not being a total snoozefest which is a rare feat to accomplish.

1. D’Andra Simmons
Obsessed is an understatement. D’Andra Simmons made the entire franchise for me. What I absolutely loved about D’andra was that she was from a classy Dallas dynasty family, but still had the most infectious sense of humour and personality. She wasn’t afraid to be herself even when others seemed to judge her because of her last name, and that will always get brownie points with me. And even though there was a ton of body shaming done to her, I think D’andra is one of the sexiest Real Housewives of any franchise hands down period end of discussion.

Now that I’m thinking about all of the iconic stuff that D’andra has done on the show, I now need her and Tiffany to have their own spin off show to capture all the amazing shit they would do together without having to share the spotlight with other dumbasses like Kameron.

Please and thank you Bravo.

– by the Black Widow