Easily Influenced But Not Easily Persuaded

I’m sure this title is going to confuse most.

Remember back in the day when all of the 90s kids were in their teens and all the fads came along (if you need a reminder of these fads, allow me to redirect you to this). The people that know me the best know that I am particularly unfazed by anything that becomes “cool” in popular culture. When guys grew their fringes out and bought womens skinny jeans from Supre, I had a fro and wore pink t-shirts. When people decided to “drop it” to dubstep music, I took my clothes off to country.

In summary, I have never really been phased by phases.

In saying that, I am putty in certain people’s hands; by certain people, I mean admired celebrities. People think I have adapted my own sense of style and sass but what it really comes down to is how my highly-adored celebrities dressed and behaved. One of my most trademark things to wear is fur, most notably, fluffy leg warmers that you’d usually see at a rave. It wasn’t as if one day I woke up and decided it’d be cool to look like a walking polar bear. Instead, this trend that has turned my wardrobe into a PETA enthusiasts nightmare if the fur was real, was inspired by a seven minute wrestling match at Survivor Series 2005 between Trish Stratus and Melina, the latter of which came out looking fierce and foxy in white fluffy leg warmers.

After seeing this, as if you wouldn't want to wear white fluffy leg warmers.

After seeing this, as if you wouldn’t want to wear white fluffy leg warmers. (SOURCE: WWE.com)

One time late last year I thought it’d be a jolly idea to dye my hair red, as in bright OMG MY EYES red. Everybody knows that someone with my skin complexion has a 2% chance of pulling off bright red hair. Why did I chance such a daring move then? Because Eva Marie has red hair, of course. If that woman jumped off a cliff wearing a burlap sack, I would join her and ask if she wanted a glass of water at the same time. One lovely hair dyeing session later with my fabulous hairdresser friend Kallie, and my hair was officially bright red. Some people liked it, some didn’t, and I was on the fence about it. But it didn’t matter, because I was one step closer to Eva Marie.

#allredeverything (SOURCE: Eva Marie Instagram)

#allredeverything (SOURCE: Eva Marie Instagram)

Let’s not even talk about my fascination with split-leg jeans or hot pants matched with Chuck Taylors and ripped punky shirts, because AJ Lee is clearly my inspiration for that.

I imagine I wouldn't look this skinny if I wore this outfit. (SOURCE: WWE.com)

I imagine I wouldn’t look this skinny if I wore this outfit. (SOURCE: WWE.com)

I think this paints one clear picture about the type of person I am – I secretly want to be a WWE Diva. While I am very happy and content with being a man, I wouldn’t say no to being AJ Lee for a day. Oh, and if you’re a fabulous celebrity that specialises in wrestling, country music, Doctor Who or pole dancing, I am pretty much yours.

– by The Black Widow

Fad Off!

I’ve lived in Sydney since I was 9 years old and during my tenure here, I’ve seen many different trends or fads come and go. A few people who are as mindless as they are impressionable have followed these trends until the cows came home while I’ve remained indifferent about whatever’s “in” or “hip” – because people still use the word hip anyway. I’ve been quite comfortable in my own skin and style.

Anywho, here are a list of trends that have come and gone and haven’t been touched by me in any shape or form.

I live in a double-storey suburban house and I’m gangsta

These kids trapped in a struggle... and so on and so forth.

These kids trapped in a struggle… and so on and so forth.

Remember when Joel Turner (picture above) came out with the hit song “These Kids” and suddenly everyone wore their pants down around their knees with thick, obnxious chains around their necks? Enter the “Gangsta Beatboxing Street Artist” fad. I specifically remember boys who had no interest in rap and urban music all of a sudden profess their admiration for 50 Cent and Eminem just because it was the “in” thing back in the day. These tryhards would spit and heave and try to claim that as beatboxing when really, it sounded as if someone was losing a lung. Breakdancing was also a popular thing for the Gangsta Beatboxing Street Artists who, as hard as they tried, couldn’t master the truly wonderful art. Speaking of art, it became cool to tag walls with $2 spray paint with some terrible logos or even worse, your own initials.

As you’re picturing all of this in your head, aren’t you glad this fad died out?

Only cool people slash their wrists

Anyone spare a blade?

Anyone spare a blade?

Why, pray tell me, did self-harm become a fad? Shortly after the gangsta species faded out, in came the Emos. Long fringes, black clothes and body odour from here to Raleigh, North Carolina. While the emo genre was underground previously, artists like Dashboard Confessional rose this fad to international stardom. Along with this “popular trend” came the music subgenre of “screamo”, which was basically someone screaming whilst instruments accompanied the ear-damaging lyrics. For some reason, however, people took this as an opportunity to make self-harm cool; red cut lines across the wrist were almost as common as breathing during this time and people would even boast about how damn emo they were by posting pictures of their self harm on MySpace (which was Emo Haven back in the day). The emos lasted a bit longer than the gangstas, and I can proudly say I took absolutely nothing from this culture. I wore painted-on jeans before emos were even born. #totesamaze #craycray

The Beach Boys would be so proud… or not

Oooohhh surferrrr girrrrl...

Oooohhh surferrrr girrrrl…

Roxy. Billabong. Ripcurl. Rusty. Basically any brand that is currently available at your local City Beach. There was a time when surfing became the “in thing” and all the boys in the yard were wearing these surfer brands to look cool and would walk around with a surfboard despite having no talent on it whatsoever. These guys and gals would lay out on the beach to get that “I’m totes a surfer” tan and would lighten their hair to have that surfy look. Meanwhile, here I am with my pale brown skin and dark hair – and I don’t even care.

I get that Home and Away makes it look like every Australian underneath the shining sun goes surfing but I have never touched a surfboard in my life and have no real interest in getting thrashed from a body of water.

Aesthetics because no one cares about brains anymore

I don't mind Zyzz as a person, but really.

I didn’t mind Zyzz as a person, but really.

Okay so I remember a time when people didn’t really care about how big their pecs were or how bulging their biceps were. Everyone was just lax about being their size, big or small. Nowadays, people are hitting the gym just for the social factor and not for the concept of getting physically fit. Big bulky men (or women) are as common as breathing now and it’s come to the point where muscles aren’t even attractive anymore. With the introduction of (stupid) phrases like “Do you even lift” and “She squats bro” suggest that people in the current day and age are more concerned about what’s on the outside than what’s on the inside. I’d prefer to have a conversation with a brain than a bicep to be honest but that’s just me.

I joined a gym to look like Candice Swanepoel (NOTE: not possible), not to fit in with the clouds that hang around my area. I decided that food is much better than exercise so my relationship with the gym ended not too long ago. I’m pretty sure I did more exercise than the bodybuilders that went there to look at themselves in the mirror and get hard-ons over themselves.

***

I’m pretty sure there are other fads that I’ve overlooked but really, these three were the worst that I can remember. To use an overused motivational quote that frequently sees my Facebook news feed: “You were born original, why die a copy?” Case and point.

– by The Black Widow