Why Asuka’s Streak Has Ruined WWE’s Women’s Evolution

Someone had to say it.

One of the greatest talking points about WWE currently has been Asuka’s undefeated streak. Ever since she debuted in NXT back in mid-late 2015, Asuka has won every match thrown her way, and has defeated very formidable opponents like Sasha Banks, Bayley, Nia Jax, and Eva Marie. That’s right. I said it. Eva Marie was a formidable opponent, but more on that later.

A Goldberg-like run through the women’s division should be a breath of fresh air, right?

Well it isn’t. I’ll repeat myself: Asuka’s undefeated streak has ruined not only the WWE women’s division, but the entire women’s revolution in general.

“I was saying boo-Asuka”.

If you want to compare Goldberg’s streak to Asuka’s, the main difference is that Goldberg had a lot of other male superstars to go through, so fresh new match-ups could be made on the reg, and it didn’t really feel like his dominance was becoming outdated or boring. On the other hand, the WWE women’s division – taking into consideration both Raw and Smackdown Live – has around 20 active superstars, give or take. That doesn’t leave Asuka with much variety of matches. Her run on Raw has been lacklustre as she has cleaned through every woman on the division, and has had several match repetitions which should’ve been heralded, but had the opposite effect, against the likes of Nia Jax and Alexa Bliss. Granted, her move to Smackdown will lead her to new match-ups, but it’ll be the same thing, and shortly after, it will become stale again.

In regards to the booking of it, at first it was cool, thinking “Ooohhh I wonder if this chick is finally going to beat Asuka’s streak” kept the matches interesting; now, it’s just boring and predictable, and that predictability has ruined the WWE product. Every time you see Asuka come out for a match, whether it be a singles, tag-team or even a Bra and Panties gauntlet match, you just groan because you know that Asuka’s going to win, regardless of whom she is facing, or if she’s squashed by a piano falling from the sky. Take the Mixed Match Challenge for example: this fun and interactive form of wrestling that has made dream mixed teams like Braun Strowman and Alexa Bliss, or Finn Balor and Sasha Banks, has now basically become a laughing stock, as you know that all these teams will be fed to the Miz and Asuka, and then eventually, the Miz and Asuka will win the entire thing, solely because Asuka is on the team, and if she is going to have her streak broken, it won’t be on the Mixed Match Challenge.

I respect Asuka as a wrestler and a performer, but she isn’t my favourite. And you think that would play into my disliking of her booking, but it actually isn’t. If you know me well enough, you know that I identify a lot with the pretty model-esque girls of wrestling, like Sable, Stacy Keibler, Eva Marie, and currently, Mandy Rose. But do I want to see Mandy Rose bulldoze through the competition and go nearly three whole damn years undefeated? Hell no. And you can say “That’s because Mandy Rose isn’t a believable threat to the other women”; while that may or may not be true depending on your opinion, why the hell hasn’t Nia Jax gone nearly three whole years undefeated? She is a way more credible threat to the other female superstars. Additionally, using Nia as an example, she has been solidly booked since her main roster debut – give or take a few questionable decisions (like that strange storyline she had with Enzo Amore) – and she has taken clean losses, but her dominance has remained the same. If Jax can be booked to lose but still keep her momentum, then the same could’ve worked for Asuka.

If WWE want to add a much needed breath of fresh air to their women’s division, they need to let Asuka lose to Charlotte Flair at WrestleMania. What better place to lose your first match in WWE than on the grandest stage of them all, and against a name like Charlotte Flair. If Asuka goes on to win the Smackdown Women’s Championship, and then successfully defends it time and time again in predictable matches, then I will have no choice but to bash my own head with a brick.

If Asuka doesn’t lose to Charlotte at ‘Mania, then at least have Carmella come in and cash in on her and beat her. Done. I would be happy with that.

Now back to Eva Marie. While Asuka hasn’t technically lost a match in WWE, let me just take you on a history lesson back to the NXT women’s battle royal to determine a #1 contender at the beginning of January 2016. Asuka eliminated Billie Kay and Peyton Royce and appeared to be the last woman standing… but then Eva Marie ran in and eliminated her.

Eva Marie is ready for Asuka!

So, as of writing, the person to come the closest to actually defeating Asuka… is the Red Queen, Eva Marie.

You’re welcome.

– by Noah La’ulu

The Intentional Loss of IQ Points

This may just be me, but I’m sure more people out there do this.

Do you really Eva? DO YOU REALLY? (SOURCE: E! Online website)

Do you really Eva? DO YOU REALLY? (SOURCE: E! Online website)

For the purpose of this article, I will be using a fictional girl named Samantha. Now, the heroine of our story is studying a degree in psychology at a well renowned university in Sydney. She is getting good grades in all of her units and has an above average IQ. Samantha is also a very physically attractive girl who would rather bury her nose in books than take shots on a Saturday night. She also works part time in a fashion boutique.

Enter James, the strapping young Dave Franco look-a-like who walks into Samantha’s place of employment looking for a nice button-up shirt to wear to a dinner.

“Hi,” he says with a bright perfectly toothed smile, “do you have any nice shirts I could wear tonight? I’m going to a formal dinner and need to look somewhat presentable.”

Samantha, who usually doesn’t let anyone else jeopardise her intelligence, begins giggling and twirling the ends of her hair – a very uncharacteristic trait for Samantha – and motions him towards a fine range of silky cotton shirts she has.

“These are great,” exclaims James, “I think I might grab two. How much would that be?”

Knowing quite well that two shirts would equal to $100, Samantha continues to giggle and places her hands on her hips.

“Oh my god,” she says delightfully, “I can’t add that in my head. I totes haven’t done math since like high school.”

James, completely oblivious to Samantha’s flirting, grabs two shirts and enters the dressing room to try them on.

“Tell me how you go in there, babe,” Samantha says, a word that doesn’t exist in Samantha’s vocabulary.

What is it about being in the presence of attractive or inspiring people that automatically renders someone slightly less intelligent than usual? I know I suffer from this and most of the time, I’m not even doing it on purpose.

I recall a time that only happened recently where I was talking to someone, trying to look calm and cultured, and while this conversation was happening, I was urging myself not to touch my hair (a body language gesture that is usually associated with someone who’s absent-minded and vacuous) even though I don’t even have hair to play with.

I don’t even want to delve into how many times I’ve awkwardly giggled at someone even if what they had said or done wasn’t even the slightest but funny.

Samantha’s situation could be the same from a guy’s perspective when they do “rebellious” things that are not of their nature.

Why does this happen though? Why do people feel as if they need to dumb themselves down to impress someone when an intellectual conversation on worldly matters is more than or equally attractive to a pair of half-exposed breasts or some cheese grater abs.

I personally think that celebrity culture – movies, books, TV shows, etc. – have made it seem like playing dumb for a guy or a girl will make you seem more attractive to them. While it may work for some people, it is not always the case. I’m in the mindset that “being who you truly are” is the most attractive thing a person can be because you can tell that they are comfortable in their own skin.

Sure, there are times when playing dumb will work to your advantage – getting out of a fine anyone? – but truth be known that intelligence is sexy. Lord knows I find someone more interesting if they have a wide range of interests as opposed to someone who likes “working out at the gym 24/7”.

I cannot drill this in enough; be who you truly are and the type of person that you want to attract will come barging your door down.

And please, cut the “I can’t even” talk down. So cringeworthy.

– by Noah La’ulu

Easily Influenced But Not Easily Persuaded

I’m sure this title is going to confuse most.

Remember back in the day when all of the 90s kids were in their teens and all the fads came along (if you need a reminder of these fads, allow me to redirect you to this). The people that know me the best know that I am particularly unfazed by anything that becomes “cool” in popular culture. When guys grew their fringes out and bought womens skinny jeans from Supre, I had a fro and wore pink t-shirts. When people decided to “drop it” to dubstep music, I took my clothes off to country.

In summary, I have never really been phased by phases.

In saying that, I am putty in certain people’s hands; by certain people, I mean admired celebrities. People think I have adapted my own sense of style and sass but what it really comes down to is how my highly-adored celebrities dressed and behaved. One of my most trademark things to wear is fur, most notably, fluffy leg warmers that you’d usually see at a rave. It wasn’t as if one day I woke up and decided it’d be cool to look like a walking polar bear. Instead, this trend that has turned my wardrobe into a PETA enthusiasts nightmare if the fur was real, was inspired by a seven minute wrestling match at Survivor Series 2005 between Trish Stratus and Melina, the latter of which came out looking fierce and foxy in white fluffy leg warmers.

After seeing this, as if you wouldn't want to wear white fluffy leg warmers.

After seeing this, as if you wouldn’t want to wear white fluffy leg warmers. (SOURCE: WWE.com)

One time late last year I thought it’d be a jolly idea to dye my hair red, as in bright OMG MY EYES red. Everybody knows that someone with my skin complexion has a 2% chance of pulling off bright red hair. Why did I chance such a daring move then? Because Eva Marie has red hair, of course. If that woman jumped off a cliff wearing a burlap sack, I would join her and ask if she wanted a glass of water at the same time. One lovely hair dyeing session later with my fabulous hairdresser friend Kallie, and my hair was officially bright red. Some people liked it, some didn’t, and I was on the fence about it. But it didn’t matter, because I was one step closer to Eva Marie.

#allredeverything (SOURCE: Eva Marie Instagram)

#allredeverything (SOURCE: Eva Marie Instagram)

Let’s not even talk about my fascination with split-leg jeans or hot pants matched with Chuck Taylors and ripped punky shirts, because AJ Lee is clearly my inspiration for that.

I imagine I wouldn't look this skinny if I wore this outfit. (SOURCE: WWE.com)

I imagine I wouldn’t look this skinny if I wore this outfit. (SOURCE: WWE.com)

I think this paints one clear picture about the type of person I am – I secretly want to be a WWE Diva. While I am very happy and content with being a man, I wouldn’t say no to being AJ Lee for a day. Oh, and if you’re a fabulous celebrity that specialises in wrestling, country music, Doctor Who or pole dancing, I am pretty much yours.

– by Noah La’ulu