Tag Archives: Wrestling

Three Things I Learned About Myself While Filming Heel Turn

Posted in Entertainment, Lifestyle, Movies by

And now for a self-indulgent post.

Hello Widow’s Lureans. I know I’m super inconsistent with posting on here, but it’s actually a goal on my vision board to write more and post more on here. So to quickly catch you up to speed on the past couple of years of my life:

– My parents have been living in Fiji for the past three years, which means I’ve been living in their house rent free so I could save more spend more money on clothes and beauty. Nikki maintenance is very expensive.
– Still at the same job which I enjoy most of the time.
– Still wrestling, still slaying in the ring and out. Still paired with my soulsister Frankie B, while also exploring solo opportunities as well.
– Had a crew film a documentary on me which premiered at the Mardi Gras Film Festival 2026 and was a hit with the people in attendance.

Just a casual documentary. You know, no biggie.

Talk about length. Talk about drama. Talk about stones. Talk about comfort.

The aptly named Heel Turn focuses on myself and how I navigate the wrestling world as a queer transwoman of colour and how wrestling has helped and harmed me. But specifically, how I play a villainous character (heel) when society villainises parts of my identity that I can’t control anyway.

Over three separate days of filming (training at the PWA Academy, performing on a show in a match against Cosmo Cooper, and capturing some moments of me at my home), the wonderful crew worked with me to capture the real moments that show public Nikki and the vulnerable Nikki all wrapped up in an eight minute short film/documentary. Not only did I show them Nikki Van Blair, the ultra glamorous, confidently sexual and magnetically bitchy Queen Bee, but they also interviewed the somewhat serious, outspoken and unapologetic Nikki Hamilton, and in those moments, I found that I learned a few things about myself that I wasn’t consciously aware of before. I’m very intrigued by the psychology of humans and how everyone is fundamentally different from each other, and as someone who is as self-reflective as me – some would say I am too self-reflective –  I love discovering new things about myself, why I do things the way I do, and why I react to things the way I do.

So as an interesting thought piece, I wanted to share a few things with you that I learned about myself during or after the filming of Heel Turn with this fabulous crew.

1. I don’t have emotional walls built up; I have a door that I control.
We all know the saying that someone has walls built up to protect themselves from getting hurt. These walls can be beneficial, but in turn it stops people from getting to know the real you. I participated in a podcast interview for LGBT In the Ring with the director of the film Isabella, and she made a comment that I have a wall built up. I understand why she came to that conclusion because I know I do have a very noticeable public persona, but I respectfully disagree with her labelling. I don’t have a wall that people need to chip down or hurdle over; I have a door that I willfully control, and I can freely let people who deserve it into my inner thoughts and feelings and become vulnerable with them if and when I choose to. This documentary wouldn’t have worked if I refused to get raw and real with the team, and I found it easy to not only show them the Queen Bee, but also the woman who walks through life and navigates the wrestling world carrying an invisible burden through spaces that no one else has to think about. And that’s because I control that door, and I control that door handle.

2. I watch way too much Real Housewives
Now I’m very aware that I watch too much Real Housewives, but the actual point I want to make here is new to me. There is a point where the crew asked me how I felt after planning my match with Cooper, and by all means it was an easy and seamless experience as Cooper is great at what he does, he’s a professional, and I trust him not only as an opponent but as a friend as well. But because watching rich women scream at dinners has become second-nature to me, and knowing what they have to do as part of their job to create drama and entertainment, I brought up a small point of contention to the cameras between Cooper and I during the planning conversation. This was not fake or ‘produced’ in any way as it was something that I had genuinely felt in the moment. However, it was such a small thing to note that not mentioning it would’ve honestly sufficed, but because I’m a Bravo-holic, I brought it up. Because I know what makes good TV. Thank you Tamra Judge.

3. My story in wrestling is a lot more interesting than I originally thought, and is one that needs to be told
I feel like everyone can relate to this. Because I am living my own life in real time and experience everything I experience, none of it seems overly fascinating or interesting to me since it’s all real to me. But talking to the crew about everything in my life, personally and professionally in wrestling, and them being so fascinated with the everyday workings of my life, actually made me realise that my story is interesting. Not only that, but verbally coming to the realisation with the crew that I’ve knocked down a lot of doors for future queer folk in Aus wrestling, helped me realise that my story is a story that needs to be told. Because who doesn’t like a real story of someone who has to fight through discrimination, invisible walls, and moving through spaces with an extra weight on their shoulders, and creating a legacy for others to catapult off, because in reality that’s what I’m doing, and it’s incredibly humbling to realise.

I know that I take a lot of time to look within myself and self reflect, again some might say that I do that too much, but making these realisations about myself during or after the filming of the documentary have helped me to understand myself more and acknowledge that my journey in Australian professional wrestling is full of unchartered waters and untrodden path that will helpfully make it easier for future wrestlers of all the tribes that I proudly represent – Pacific Islanders, LGBTQIA+, women.

While the Mardi Gras Film Festival – and its on demand service – has ended, Heel Turn might be popping up in new online places, so keep your eyes and ears out because this short film will make you laugh, make you reflect, and might even make you cry. If I dare say so myself.

And you might even learn a new thing or two about me after watching it.

– by The Black Widow

Three Things They Don’t Tell You About Becoming a Wrestler

Posted in Wrestling by

A wrestling article? No way!

I want to preface this by saying this won’t be a ‘peeling back the curtain’ type of article on the art of professional wrestling. I’m sure that’s been done to death, and I’m also sure that all wrestling fans are aware of what happens or can potentially happen behind the scenes.

This will be more of a look at things I wasn’t aware was going to happen prior to becoming a professional wrestler; things you don’t think about until it’s happened or happening to you, and you’re like “Wow”.

Before you do a suplex as pretty as mine, there are some things you should know. (CREDIT: New Photography Studios)

Before I begin listing these things, I would just like to add a disclaimer that this is based on my personal experience as a pro wrestler in Australia whose career spans across seven years. I’m sure others experiences would be vastly different to mine given outside influences, such as where they live, their access to training and shows, gender identity, race, etc. so by no means does this cover every single wrestler in the world.

 1. Wrestling will take up a lot of your time
This is applicable to any wrestler regardless of their end goal: whether you want to get signed and make this your full-time career, or if this is more of a weekend hobby for you. Be prepared to give a lot of your time to wrestling. On paper, training once or twice a week doesn’t sound like too much, but then consider the weekends where you’ll have a show on, or going into your wrestling school/set location to film a promo that can potentially take up to a whole day. Doing other forms of physical training like working out at the gym, yoga and pilates, etc. also counts towards the betterment of yourself as a wrestler.

Show day will require almost your entire day to be blocked out, because you need to pack down the ring, load it onto a truck, then you need to unload the truck at the venue, set the ring up, and if you’re performing on the show, then you need to start working out your match. And don’t think you’re going home when the show ends, because now it’s time to repeat that cycle: pack the ring down, load it onto the truck, unload it at the wrestling school, set the ring back up there.

And in between training, shows and filming promos, you’re also going to be brainstorming things about your wrestling persona: your character/gimmick, wrestling gear, merch ideas, etc. This alone will take up a lot more time than you could possibly imagine. So if you’re serious about becoming a wrestler, then be prepared to miss personal events for wrestling, and to feel satisfied but exhausted, sore but content.

2. This crazy bunch of people will become your family
Outside of my family and work colleagues, the people I spend the most time with are my fellow wrestlers/trainees, and I’m sure this will be applicable to you as well if you’re considering stepping inside the squared circle.

I’m guaranteed to see these people at least once a week at training, and then we’ll spend all day together at a show. Because I spend so much time with these people, I was bound to form a strong relationship with most if not all of the people I wrestle with. And because I’ve built such strong relationships with my co-workers in the ring, we often go out socially without the pressures of training or show day where we can let loose and have fun. 

Trust me when I say the friends you have from school, uni, or other avenues in your life will not get the same amount of time that your wrestling family will. And like any other family, there may be times where you argue or squabble, but you should be able to come back together eventually if you have that healthy respect and love for them; it’s normal. This has happened to me on multiple occasions. It’ll be fine. You’ll be fine.

3. Be prepared for wrestling to take a stronger toll on you mentally than it does physically
It’s a given that wrestling is a bit rough to your body; you’re learning how to throw yourself into the mat for sobbing out loud. But something that is rarely discussed is the mental toll it takes on you.

I don’t want this to scare anyone off chasing their dream of becoming a wrestler, so let me explain why. If you are willing to commit the time, effort and money to wrestling, then it’s safe to say that you care about wrestling. And when you care about something, if it doesn’t completely go according to your plan, then you may feel anxious, disturbed, dismayed or disappointed with the results. I have two examples of this happening to me:

1) I suffered a dislocated tailbone in a wrestling match. The physical pain of it hurt, obviously, and I couldn’t sit down for long periods of time. But what hurt me the most about this injury was that I had to sit on the sidelines for over a year, and the mental toll it took on me. When will I finally wrestle again? Will I ever wrestle again? Why is this taking so long? Will people forget about me? I can honestly say that the recovery of this injury was a lot harder on me mentally than it was physically.
2) I was written into a storyline which was then swiftly dropped seemingly out of nowhere for me, leaving me in limbo with ‘nothing going on’. To the outsider, this is such a small thing to happen that a wrestler should be able to bounce back from; to me, this was confirmation that I sucked, that I wasn’t a good wrestler, and that my time in wrestling was coming to a close.

Just like I say when someone is behind the curtain, nervous for their upcoming match: “You’re nervous because you care, which is a good thing”. If you make it into wrestling, sure there will be some times when you’re in your own head, feeling super anxious or even depressed about something wrestling related, but it’s important to keep in mind that you wouldn’t feel this strongly if you didn’t care about wrestling. But on the flipside, wrestling will always be there, so if you need time away from wrestling to get your head right so you can return at 200%, then I would strongly encourage you to do so.

Wrestling has truly been one of the biggest blessings of my life. I’ve created moments in my career that have resonated with and inspired fans across the globe; I’ve met some of the greatest people I will ever meet, including one of my best friends in Frankie B; and I can proudly say that I accomplished a dream that seven-year-old Nikki had way back when.

This too can be the case for you if you stick it out, because trust me when I say that the reward at the end of the tunnel is worth the long hours of keeping your head down and working hard.

– by The Black Widow 

Why Asuka’s Streak Has Ruined WWE’s Women’s Evolution

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Someone had to say it.

One of the greatest talking points about WWE currently has been Asuka’s undefeated streak. Ever since she debuted in NXT back in mid-late 2015, Asuka has won every match thrown her way, and has defeated very formidable opponents like Sasha Banks, Bayley, Nia Jax, and Eva Marie. That’s right. I said it. Eva Marie was a formidable opponent, but more on that later.

A Goldberg-like run through the women’s division should be a breath of fresh air, right?

Well it isn’t. I’ll repeat myself: Asuka’s undefeated streak has ruined not only the WWE women’s division, but the entire women’s revolution in general.

“I was saying boo-Asuka”.

If you want to compare Goldberg’s streak to Asuka’s, the main difference is that Goldberg had a lot of other male superstars to go through, so fresh new match-ups could be made on the reg, and it didn’t really feel like his dominance was becoming outdated or boring. On the other hand, the WWE women’s division – taking into consideration both Raw and Smackdown Live – has around 20 active superstars, give or take. That doesn’t leave Asuka with much variety of matches. Her run on Raw has been lacklustre as she has cleaned through every woman on the division, and has had several match repetitions which should’ve been heralded, but had the opposite effect, against the likes of Nia Jax and Alexa Bliss. Granted, her move to Smackdown will lead her to new match-ups, but it’ll be the same thing, and shortly after, it will become stale again.

In regards to the booking of it, at first it was cool, thinking “Ooohhh I wonder if this chick is finally going to beat Asuka’s streak” kept the matches interesting; now, it’s just boring and predictable, and that predictability has ruined the WWE product. Every time you see Asuka come out for a match, whether it be a singles, tag-team or even a Bra and Panties gauntlet match, you just groan because you know that Asuka’s going to win, regardless of whom she is facing, or if she’s squashed by a piano falling from the sky. Take the Mixed Match Challenge for example: this fun and interactive form of wrestling that has made dream mixed teams like Braun Strowman and Alexa Bliss, or Finn Balor and Sasha Banks, has now basically become a laughing stock, as you know that all these teams will be fed to the Miz and Asuka, and then eventually, the Miz and Asuka will win the entire thing, solely because Asuka is on the team, and if she is going to have her streak broken, it won’t be on the Mixed Match Challenge.

I respect Asuka as a wrestler and a performer, but she isn’t my favourite. And you think that would play into my disliking of her booking, but it actually isn’t. If you know me well enough, you know that I identify a lot with the pretty model-esque girls of wrestling, like Sable, Stacy Keibler, Eva Marie, and currently, Mandy Rose. But do I want to see Mandy Rose bulldoze through the competition and go nearly three whole damn years undefeated? Hell no. And you can say “That’s because Mandy Rose isn’t a believable threat to the other women”; while that may or may not be true depending on your opinion, why the hell hasn’t Nia Jax gone nearly three whole years undefeated? She is a way more credible threat to the other female superstars. Additionally, using Nia as an example, she has been solidly booked since her main roster debut – give or take a few questionable decisions (like that strange storyline she had with Enzo Amore) – and she has taken clean losses, but her dominance has remained the same. If Jax can be booked to lose but still keep her momentum, then the same could’ve worked for Asuka.

If WWE want to add a much needed breath of fresh air to their women’s division, they need to let Asuka lose to Charlotte Flair at WrestleMania. What better place to lose your first match in WWE than on the grandest stage of them all, and against a name like Charlotte Flair. If Asuka goes on to win the Smackdown Women’s Championship, and then successfully defends it time and time again in predictable matches, then I will have no choice but to bash my own head with a brick.

If Asuka doesn’t lose to Charlotte at ‘Mania, then at least have Carmella come in and cash in on her and beat her. Done. I would be happy with that.

Now back to Eva Marie. While Asuka hasn’t technically lost a match in WWE, let me just take you on a history lesson back to the NXT women’s battle royal to determine a #1 contender at the beginning of January 2016. Asuka eliminated Billie Kay and Peyton Royce and appeared to be the last woman standing… but then Eva Marie ran in and eliminated her.

Eva Marie is ready for Asuka!

So, as of writing, the person to come the closest to actually defeating Asuka… is the Red Queen, Eva Marie.

You’re welcome.

– by The Black Widow

My WrestleMania 33, according to TEW 2016

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In case you weren’t satisfied with the real WrestleMania 33.

WrestleMania 33 has come by and gone quicker than you can say “Sable deserves to be in the WWE Hall of Fame”. But if you’re looking for some more Mania fun slash shenanigans, then I simulated my own version of WrestleMania 33 on my TEW 2016 simulator. Read below for the results of the show.

Welcome to WidowMania 33!

PRE-SHOW
Pre-Show Match 1:
Smackdown Live – Sami Zayn vs. Samoa Joe
Samoa Joe has had a problem with the success of former Intercontinental Champion Sami Zayn, resulting in unpredictable attacks on the redhaired fan-favourite. Sami has fought back against the Destroyer, and the two looked to settle their differences at the Grandest Stage of Them All.
WINNER: Samoa Joe via pinfall

Pre-Show Match 2:
Raw – Alberto Del Rio vs. Shinsuke Nakamura
Ever since Shinsuke debuted on the Raw roster, Alberto has taken exception to the strong fan following of the Japanese superstar. Nakamura defeated Del Rio in his main roster debut, but Del Rio wasn’t about to let the same mistake happen again.
WINNER: Alberto Del Rio via pinfall

Pre-Show Match 3:
Interbrand – The Fabulous Moolah Memorial Battle Royal
Following the success of the first ever Women’s Rumble, WWE gave the inaugural Fabulous Moolah Memorial Battle Royal the greenlight, the female counterpart to the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal. Superstars from Raw and Smackdown Live will compete to see who would be the first trophy holder.
WINNER: Nikki Bella from Smackdown Live

Pre-Show Match 4:
Interbrand – The Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
The Raw roster had banded together for this battle royal to make sure one of their guys won the trophy, even with lingering problems between them. The Smackdown Live roster were looking to make sure that both trophies came to the blue brand.
WINNER: Braun Strowman from Raw

MAIN CARD
Match 1:
Smackdown Live – Smackdown Tag Team Champions The Usos (Jey Uso and Jimmy Uso) vs. The Revival (Dash Wilder and Scott Dawson) vs. Bad Influence (Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian) vs. Breezango (Fandango and Tyler Breeze) in a four-way elimination match for the Smackdown Tag Team Championships
The Usos were the inaugural Smackdown Tag Team Champions, and are now in their second reign after defeating Bray Wyatt and Erick Rowan. The Smackdown tag team division want to put up a credible challenge to the Samoan champions in this elimination-style match.
WINNERS: The Usos via pinfall over the Revival to retain the Smackdown Tag Team Championships; Bad Influence were first eliminated, followed by Breezango

Match 2:
Raw – Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Owens
Former best friends turned bitter enemies go into battle as Y2J takes on KO. This incredibly physical rivalry will finally culminate at WrestleMania after many backstage assaults and in-ring brawls.
WINNER: Chris Jericho via pinfall

Match 3:
Smackdown Live – Shane McMahon vs. Cody Rhodes w/ Brandi Rhodes
Cody Rhodes feels that Smackdown Live Commissioner Shane McMahon has been treating him unfairly, and took his frustrations out on him. Thinking he wouldn’t retaliate, Rhodes was surprised when McMahon fought back, and challenged him to a match at WrestleMania.
WINNER: Cody Rhodes via pinfall after a distraction from Brandi

Match 4:
Raw – United States Champion Finn Balor vs. Cesaro vs. Sheamus vs. Neville for the United States Championship
Currently the longest reigning champion in WWE, Finn Balor has beaten every challenger thrown his way. Now facing three formidable opponents, the Irish champion looks to retain his championship at WrestleMania.
WINNER: Finn Balor via pinfall on Neville to retain the United States Championship

Match 5:
Smackdown Live – The Wyatt Family (Bray Wyatt and Erick Rowan) vs. Zack Sabre Jr. and Dolph Ziggler in a Steel Cage Elimination Match
Dolph’s problems with the Wyatts looked to hinder him as the numbers worked against him, so he called in back-up in the form of main roster debuting Zack Sabre Jr. Bray now has his opponents trapped in a steel cage with no escape, and Rowan is more than happy to serve his master.
WINNER: Dolph Ziggler via pinfall on Bray Wyatt; Erick Rowan was first eliminated, followed by Zack Sabre Jr.

Match 6:
Raw – Raw Women’s Champion Sasha Banks vs. AJ Lee vs. Eve Torres vs. Charlotte Flair for the Raw Women’s Championship
The Boss has shown a different side of her recently, turning her back on the WWE Universe. After a triple threat match between AJ, Torres and Flair ended in a no contest, Stephanie McMahon declared that Sasha would defend her title in a fatal four way.
WINNER: Eve Torres via pinfall on Sasha Banks to become the New Raw Women’s Champion

Match 7:
Smackdown Live – Ryback w/ Smackdown Women’s Champion Eva Marie vs. Randy Orton
When John Cena defeated Ryback and Randy Orton to become the no#1 contender for the World Championship, Ryback blamed Orton for the loss and took out his anger on the Apex Predator. The two main eventers will finally clash at WrestleMania, with the devious and cunning Smackdown Women’s Champion Eva Marie on the outside.
WINNER: Randy Orton via pinfall

Match 8:
Raw – Raw Tag Team Champions The Dudley Boyz (Bubba Ray Dudley and D-Von Dudley) vs. Avalon (Hugo Knox and Jon Cutler) w/ Satisfaction vs. The Club (Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows) vs. Enzo Amore and Big Cass for the Raw Tag Team Championships in a four-way ladder match
The Dudley Boyz have reigned supreme on their division for the past four months, and with the debut of Satisfaction’s new team in Hugo Knox and Jon Cutler, the Raw tag team division looks to shake up, culminating in this high-stakes ladder match.
WINNERS: The Dudley Boyz via title retrieval to retain the Raw Tag Team Championships

Match 9
Smackdown Live – Intercontinental Champion Baron Corbin vs. Dean Ambrose for the Intercontinental Championship
Dean Ambrose defeated the Miz to become the #1 contender for the Intercontinental Championship, and Baron Corbin looked to injure the Lunatic Fringe and make sure he didn’t make it to WrestleMania. But Ambrose is here, and looks to take the title from Corbin once and for all.
WINNER: Baron Corbin via pinfall to retain the Intercontinental Championship

Match 10
Raw – Brock Lesnar w/ Sable vs. Bobby Roode
When Bobby Roode first challenged Brock Lesnar at WrestleMania, the Beast Incarnate and his wife Sable thought it was a joke. Roode wouldn’t take no for an answer, and got into a verbal war with Sable until she finally accepted on Brock’s behalf. Beating Roode in tag team contests, Lesnar was confident he would make short work of Roode at WrestleMania.
WINNER: Bobby Roode via pinfall

Match 11
Smackdown Live – Smackdown Women’s Champion Eva Marie vs. Paige for the Smackdown Women’s Championship
Eva Marie has managed to avoid the women of the Smackdown Live by using her client Ryback to her advantage, faking injuries, and choosing to defend her title in Bra and Panties matches. Then-Raw superstar Paige won the first ever Women’s Rumble, and crossed over to Smackdown to shut up Eva Marie for good. With Ryback banned from ringside, how will Eva Marie fare on her own?
WINNER: Paige via pinfall to become the New Smackdown Women’s Champion

Match 12
Raw – Roman Reigns vs. Triple H w/ Stephanie McMahon
Triple H cost Roman Reigns a shot at the Universal Championship when he distracted Roman in the Royal Rumble long enough for Seth to capitalise and toss him out. Roman is out for revenge, and the Cerebral Assassin is more than happy to give him what he wants.
WINNER: Roman Reigns via pinfall

Match 13
Smackdown Live – World Champion AJ Styles vs. John Cena for the World Championship
AJ Styles has been a fighting champion, defeating the likes of Samoa Joe, Dean Ambrose, Ryback and Randy Orton to retain his gold. John Cena has beaten AJ before, and challenged AJ to one more match at WrestleMania to see who is truly the Face that Runs the Place.
WINNER: AJ Styles via pinfall to retain the World Championship

Match 14
Raw – Universal Champion CM Punk vs. Seth Rollins w/ Satisfaction for the Universal Championship
After winning the Royal Rumble thanks to Triple H, it was no surprise that Seth Rollins bid his time to strike on the new Universal Champion in CM Punk. With only a short title reign under his belt, the Straight Edge Superstar looks to continue his run by defeating the 2017 Royal Rumble winner in the main event at WrestleMania.
WINNER: Seth Rollins via pinfall to become the New Universal Champion

Yeah. Pretty sure my Mania was better than the real one. Soz Roman.

– by The Black Widow