Dating Nikki: The sexy selfie

Back at it with the Dating Nikki.

Hello blogosphere! It’s me again, providing you with unsolicited dating advice even though I’m notoriously single and patiently waiting for someone to turn me into a Real Housewife.

Today’s topic: the sexy selfie, or in NSFW words, the nude.

I’m sure if you’re over the age of 18 (and let’s be honest, some under the 18 unfortunately experience this) and you’ve been chatting to that guy/girl/genderqueer person and things are starting to get fairly heated between the two of you, the thought of sending them a suggestive selfie of yourself has popped into your mind.

Some people like to spice up their relationship by sending photos or videos to titillate the other. Some have to tough it out long distance and to keep the sexual chemistry alive, they choose to share their bodies over different media channels to keep that spark. Some are even capitalising off of materials like this with things like OnlyFans out there.

I’m gonna be frank here: I personally do not do nudes at all for my own reasons. But I don’t judge people who do wish to send them out.

So if you are one of those few, there are just a few things to consider if you are contemplating sharing your body in picture format with someone:

– The most important part: seek permission first. I shouldn’t have to say that consent is consent, but for the love of all that is holy, please ensure that you have the other person’s permission first before sending them your dong/box pic.
Make sure you trust the person. You are choosing to share a private part of yourself with someone, and in this day and age, you never know what they could do with that information.
– Be prepared to face the consequences. Should, heaven forbid, your nudes get out because the person you sent them to is a royal scumbag, then unfortunately you must prepare yourself for the consequences. The internet doesn’t forget, and once your nudies are uploaded on there, they won’t be forgotten. Take a nude and send it knowing that there is a slight possibility that your grandmother’s friend’s attractive grandson might see it, or that your prospective future employer might know what your titties look like.

Now we’ve gotten the dark side of nudes out of the way, let’s talk about the scintillating part:
Know what your partner likes. Your partner may prefer you to bare it all; they may prefer you to leave a tiny bit to the imagination. Depending on what they like, you may send them a cheeky underwear selfie, or a full blown box pic.
Respect each other’s boundaries. If you’ve just delved into the world of sexy selfies, you may not know what each other’s limits are. Your partner may have a limit, which could be related to the above point. If they’re not ready to see your full blown genitalia on full view, then respect that limit and work your way up to it should your relationship go in that direction.
Don’t be afraid to spice it up every now and then. You’ve gotten into the groove of communicating with your partner via sexy selfies, and now they’re wanting to shake things up a bit. Add a theme to your photos: maybe you’re a burlesque dancer at the Moulin Rouge; or you’re a sexy jungle ninja looking to ensnare your prey (IE your partner).

Now that you’ve read this post, please re-read the first point of seeking permission/consent first. I cannot drill that in enough.

Enjoy your nudes you filthy bunch of animals!

– by The Black Widow

If you have a question or need some good ol’ fashioned blunt advice from #DatingNikki, use the Contact page on our website and put in your comment “Subject: Dating Nikki”, or alternatively send me an e-mail at widowslure@gmail.com and put “Dating Nikki” in the subject line. I will respond to your cries for help as soon as possible!

Seven Questions I Have for Love Island: The Game – Season Two

Be prepared for my favourite season ever!

After posing some questions about Love Island: The Game Season One, I’m very excited to put forward some questions about my personal favourite season.

While season one was my introduction to this amazing game, season two managed to double the fun, double the drama, and just top what I thought was an un-toppable season.

The characters were more relatable, the season was almost twice as long, there was even more drama than #Cherrygate could dare dream of, and the avatar artwork was a whole lot better, meaning Tygress could be even cuter than before!

The beautiful characters of Love Island Game: Season Two (my Gary’s the cute blond one on the left… isn’t he adorable?!)

I have already played through this season twice and am now on my third playthrough (ended up with Gary first, ended up with Jakub second), and this doesn’t even include playing through the season for my #NikkiPlaysLoveIsland live streaming series. That should give you an idea of how awesome this season is.

But if I had questions about season one, then you best bet I have questions for season two.

SPOILERS AHEAD! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

1. Why are we still playing as a fit female?
Come on Fusebox. Come on.

2. Why is Gary so perfect?
I have never experienced a love like the one that me and Gary shared… oh sorry, I meant that Tygress and Gary shared. To me, he was the most human of the characters, and coupled with his cheeky sense of humour and his bulging biceps, I was just completely enamoured with him. If I needed any more reason to love him, the story he shared about growing up as an insecure boy who became unhealthily obsessed with working out and had to seek therapy and help for his problem just made me fall in love with him even more… oh sorry, I meant made Tygress fall in love with him. In short, Gary Rennell is perfection, and I will not hear otherwise.

3. Why is Hope such a snivelling little bitch and why are we expected to put up with her shit?
I’m an avid participant of the Fusebox Games Reddit so I can share my feelings towards Love Island: The Game with other fanatics. A popular opinion among the group is that everybody hates Hope. There is no redeeming quality about her; if you choose to pair up with Noah at the beginning, she just snakes him off you with no regard for your feelings even after claiming she’s ‘in it for the girls’; she rubs her fake relationship with Noah in your face for the rest of the season; and she tries way too hard to be the unofficial leader of the girls to the point that you want to throw her overboard. Who died and made you Captain Sparrow, bitch.

4. What was the actual point of Casa Amor?
Okay, I get the point of Casa Amor, but what was the actual point? As far as I’m concerned, during all three of my playthroughs, not once was my head ever turned by the fellas in Casa Amor, and the days spent in there were just a waste of time. The guy who had the best opportunity to turn my head (Felix) straight up admitted that he didn’t like me in that way, so again I ask… what was the actual point?

5. What is the obsession with feet and farts?
Come on Fusebox, maybe one or two responses with feet/farts would’ve been funny, but when nearly every decision you get to make has an option to do with feet/farts… come on guys. Come on.

6. Why can’t you let me be a bitch in peace?
In my first playthrough, I was sweet and agreeable to ensure the best possible endgame. In my second playthrough, I was more true to myself, which meant that if I didn’t like the character, then I let them know it. Every opportunity I got to drag Hope, Lottie, Hannah and Priya (only in the beginning when she snaked my Gary off me), I took it, and it gave me such great pleasure when the sad emojis popped out. But even after all of this dragging, they were still trying to be friends with me and going on about ‘girls forever’. Ughhhh. Just fuck off Lottie. You’re not unique and loveable; you are a stupid ass bitch. Hate me and leave me in peace!

7. Why was this season so iconic?
It takes some great storytelling to make the player feel a sense of community among a group of video game characters, but Love Island: The Game Season Two managed to pull that off. From the invention of a new word to fool hunky Jakub (I always went with ‘al dente’), to the hilarious malfunctioning baby cry (waaah… ahh… aaah), every ‘personal joke’ made by the characters on the game made you feel like you were in on the joke as well. Making a player feel that sense of family and community even though it’s a video game is a rare occurrence, and Fusebox have done a wonderful job of making season two this enjoyable.

Now that that’s done, I’m going to get back to my third playthrough where I’m going to fall in love with Gary again and not give anyone else a chance even though I’ve already been down this road before. Sorry Lucas. You’re cute, but not Gary cute.

– by The Black Widow

Dating Nikki: is date ditching ever justified?

Dear Nikki,

A while ago, my friend set me up on a blind date with his girlfriend’s sister. His girlfriend was good looking, so I was expecting a goddess. When I showed up to the location, I met her: she didn’t really look like her sister, and she was dressed very down in track pants and thongs, and made little to no effort in her physical appearance. Okay, not a good start, but I was fine with that. Before we went to our movie, she wanted to stop by Woolworths. I said okay and went with her. She went in and stole lollies from the confectionary aisle right in front of me… and the total value of said lollies were about $6. I would have easily paid for those lollies if she asked, but no. She shoplifted on a first date.

After that, I told her that I was just going to run to the toilet before going to the movie. I went straight to the train station and went home. I don’t regret my decision at all, but the backlash from my mate’s girlfriend was not pretty. Were my actions justified?

The Maverick

 

Ditching a date... is it ever justified?

Ditching a date… is it ever justified?

 

Dear The Maverick,

I think in this situation, your actions were very justified. I’m sorry, but if someone shoplifted in front of me – whether it be on a first, date, tenth date, or our wedding night – and thought it was a really good idea, I would definitely ditch the date. No questions asked. That situation just shows you what kind of person she really is… a dishonest one. And what’s the point in dating someone if you can’t trust them because you know they’re dishonest?

I appreciate the fact, however, that you didn’t ditch because she looked daggy or wasn’t what you expected. One of my things on first dates is dress to impress, but don’t overdress to the point that you look like you’re going to sip some sparkling wine at the opera. I will always dress presentably on first dates. In saying that, if she was that comfortable in her trackies and jandals, then that’s fine. May not be your (or my) cup of tea, but I’m glad you were willing to overlook that somewhat trivial aspect about your blind date.

Of course, ditching dates isn’t a good idea, but everything depends on the situation. Hell, even something as big as killing someone could be justified depending on the situation (like self-defence, and in no way am I advocating the murder of people, I’m just using that as an example). If you would’ve ditched the date because she was wearing trackies, then I wouldn’t give you the thumbs up at all. I would’ve called you shallow and a wanker. Or possibly just a shallow wanker. But leaving because your date thought it’d be a good idea to steal lollies worth a small amount? LOL. Yep. Good job mate.

I hope your mate’s girlfriend knows what she had done so she can understand why you did what you did. If she doesn’t? Just redirect her here to Widows Lure so she can see your side of the story. And my sage advice. Curtseys.

Happy dating… and go the Broncos!

– by The Black Widow

If you have a question or need some good ol’ fashioned blunt advice from #DatingNikki, use the Contact page on our website and put in your comment “Subject: Dating Nikki”, or alternatively send me an e-mail at widowslure@gmail.com and put “Dating Nikki” in the subject line. I will respond to your cries for help as soon as possible!

Weird Dealbreakers: Over Before it Started

For those of you who call it quits for the strangest reasons.

We’re all familiar with the obvious dealbreakers: he doesn’t have a close relationship with his parents, she is a kleptomaniac, he doesn’t have any career goals, she beats up animals for fun… but what about those really odd ones that makes you stop and think, “Hey, I’m really weird”.

Yep. That's pretty weird.

Yep. That’s pretty weird.

So, being the natually curious person that I am, I took to social media to ask guys and gals: “What are some of your weird dealbreakers?” The answers I got were entertaining to say the least. Feast your eyes on another example of the difference between guys and girls:

What guys think…
“If she likes the Kardashians. No. Definitely not.”
“Girls who try to talk dirty during sex but sound awful.”
“Poor spelling and grammar.”
“Fake tan use.”
“Ignoring me.”
“Bad with money.”
“Can’t control themselves when they’re drunk.”
“Calls her father ‘daddy’.”
“If she goes to a concert and doesn’t enjoy herself. Why are you even here?”
“Plays Xbox One instead of PS4.”
“Hates dogs.”
“If she likes rugby league.”
“Calls herself a feminist but isn’t a feminist.”
“Has a Tumblr account.”
“Beats me in bowling.”
“Wears a rash shirt to the beach.”
“Listens to Taylor Swift.”
“If she drinks beer.”

What girls think…
“Someone who tries to share my drink. I’m not down with mouth germs!”
“JEANS AND JOGGERS! No matter how good looking you are – biggest turn off!”
“People who wear trackpants outside of the house and they aren’t going to the gym.”
“When dudes’ lips aren’t chapped.”
“People who wear black shoes with white socks… eww.”
“Any man you can tell spends longer on their hair than you.”
“Men from the Shire.”
“Men who enjoy too much man jewellery.”
“Short stubby fingernails!”
“‘Tribal’ tattoos on people I know to have fully European heritage.”
“The colours yellow or gold, especially in relation to footwear, shirts and cars.”
“Guys who wear jeans with thongs!”
“Guys who seriously say ‘Who’s your daddy?'”
“People who say ‘fff’ instead of ‘th’… example ‘Penrifff’.”
“Guys who wear uggboots or are religious.”
“Anyone who touches their belly button or my belly button. No.”
“If he has skinny legs.”
“Guys who aren’t comfortable with me sleeping in the same bed as my gay best friend.”

And there you have it. I’m so glad I’m not the only one with weird dealbreakers. It’s always refreshing to know there are other weirdos out there.

– by Noah La’ulu