Tag Archives: Dating Nikki

Dating Nikki: Red Flags and Bad Dates

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They both come hand-in-hand really.

We’ve all heard the term ‘red flag’, and we all have our own individual red flags that we see in other people. For example, one of my biggest red flags is someone who is rude or dismissive to someone who works in hospitality or retail, whereas someone else might not view that as a red flag. I don’t know why you wouldn’t but okay.

As you navigate the dating world in your own time, I’m sure you have come across someone that displays one (or more) of your own red flags, and you’re not quite sure how to deal with it.



Let’s set the scene: you’re talking to someone on a dating app and from your online conversations, you seem to really like the person and vibe with their energy. So you agree to meet them in person at a bar or at a cafe.

You show up to the venue and you see them. The physical attraction was there over the app, but now it’s going through the roof. You can’t believe you’ve scored the jackpot with this person. You greet them and sit down from them, ready to begin your date.

And then the red flags start showing. They chew with their mouth open. They burp in public and laugh about it. They pronounce the word ‘appreciate’ like uh-pree-see-ate. Suddenly the physical attraction you saw in them starts dwindling and dwindling, to the point that you cannot wait to get away from them.

If you don’t think this situation is possible, I can attest to you that it most definitely is, because I have been a prime example of this.

For the sake of this story, let’s say his name is Baden. I had messaged Baden for a week on a dating app and he seemed lovely. He had asked me if I was interested in meeting up over coffee, and I was receptive to the idea. I went to meet him and he 1) looked like his pictures, tick, 2) greeted me politely in a friendly manner, tick and 3) seemed to vibe well with me, tick.

And then as the waiter came to clear our table, he started obnoxiously barking orders at them. Giant red flag for me. I shrugged off the first interaction as ‘maybe a once off’, but he did it again, and again. At this point, I had so many red flags waving at me that I decided I did not want to see this man ever again and I wanted this date to end as quickly as possible.

I think it’s totally within your right to stop a date whenever you’re feeling uncomfortable, regardless of your reasons, and if your red flags are the reason you wish to terminate the date, then my advice to you is to go ahead and do it but try to do it as respectfully as possible. Honest and open communication is always better than ‘playing the game’ and ghosting the other individual because you’re too scared to have that confrontation. I would heavily prefer someone tell me directly that they no longer wish to pursue anything with me, than ghost me and leave it up to me and my mind to figure out what happened.

Honestly, just cut your losses. If this person exhibited some red flags, it means they’re not right for you, and as they say… there are plenty of fish in the sea. Or whatever.

And if you’re wondering how my date ended, let’s just say I took a page out of Andie Anderson’s book and sabotaged the date on purpose so I never had to see him again. I was young, alright? I would’ve done a whole lot better if I had this advice back then!

Watch out for red flags, and happy dating y’all!

– by The Black Widow

If you have a question or need some good ol’ fashioned blunt advice from #DatingNikki, use the Contact page on our website and put in your comment “Subject: Dating Nikki”, or alternatively send me an e-mail at widowslure@gmail.com and put “Dating Nikki” in the subject line. I will respond to your cries for help as soon as possible!

Dating Nikki: The sexy selfie

Posted in Dating Nikki, Lifestyle by

Back at it with the Dating Nikki.

Hello blogosphere! It’s me again, providing you with unsolicited dating advice even though I’m notoriously single and patiently waiting for someone to turn me into a Real Housewife.

Today’s topic: the sexy selfie, or in NSFW words, the nude.

I’m sure if you’re over the age of 18 (and let’s be honest, some under the 18 unfortunately experience this) and you’ve been chatting to that guy/girl/genderqueer person and things are starting to get fairly heated between the two of you, the thought of sending them a suggestive selfie of yourself has popped into your mind.

Some people like to spice up their relationship by sending photos or videos to titillate the other. Some have to tough it out long distance and to keep the sexual chemistry alive, they choose to share their bodies over different media channels to keep that spark. Some are even capitalising off of materials like this with things like OnlyFans out there.

I’m gonna be frank here: I personally do not do nudes at all for my own reasons. But I don’t judge people who do wish to send them out.

So if you are one of those few, there are just a few things to consider if you are contemplating sharing your body in picture format with someone:

– The most important part: seek permission first. I shouldn’t have to say that consent is consent, but for the love of all that is holy, please ensure that you have the other person’s permission first before sending them your dong/box pic.
– Make sure you trust the person. You are choosing to share a private part of yourself with someone, and in this day and age, you never know what they could do with that information.
– Be prepared to face the consequences. Should, heaven forbid, your nudes get out because the person you sent them to is a royal scumbag, then unfortunately you must prepare yourself for the consequences. The internet doesn’t forget, and once your nudies are uploaded on there, they won’t be forgotten. Take a nude and send it knowing that there is a slight possibility that your grandmother’s friend’s attractive grandson might see it, or that your prospective future employer might know what your titties look like.

Now we’ve gotten the dark side of nudes out of the way, let’s talk about the scintillating part:
– Know what your partner likes. Your partner may prefer you to bare it all; they may prefer you to leave a tiny bit to the imagination. Depending on what they like, you may send them a cheeky underwear selfie, or a full blown box pic.
– Respect each other’s boundaries. If you’ve just delved into the world of sexy selfies, you may not know what each other’s limits are. Your partner may have a limit, which could be related to the above point. If they’re not ready to see your full blown genitalia on full view, then respect that limit and work your way up to it should your relationship go in that direction.
– Don’t be afraid to spice it up every now and then. You’ve gotten into the groove of communicating with your partner via sexy selfies, and now they’re wanting to shake things up a bit. Add a theme to your photos: maybe you’re a burlesque dancer at the Moulin Rouge; or you’re a sexy jungle ninja looking to ensnare your prey (IE your partner).

Now that you’ve read this post, please re-read the first point of seeking permission/consent first. I cannot drill that in enough.

Enjoy your nudes you filthy bunch of animals!

– by The Black Widow

If you have a question or need some good ol’ fashioned blunt advice from #DatingNikki, use the Contact page on our website and put in your comment “Subject: Dating Nikki”, or alternatively send me an e-mail at widowslure@gmail.com and put “Dating Nikki” in the subject line. I will respond to your cries for help as soon as possible!

Dating Nikki: is date ditching ever justified?

Posted in Dating Nikki, Lifestyle by

Dear Nikki,

A while ago, my friend set me up on a blind date with his girlfriend’s sister. His girlfriend was good looking, so I was expecting a goddess. When I showed up to the location, I met her: she didn’t really look like her sister, and she was dressed very down in track pants and thongs, and made little to no effort in her physical appearance. Okay, not a good start, but I was fine with that. Before we went to our movie, she wanted to stop by Woolworths. I said okay and went with her. She went in and stole lollies from the confectionary aisle right in front of me… and the total value of said lollies were about $6. I would have easily paid for those lollies if she asked, but no. She shoplifted on a first date.

After that, I told her that I was just going to run to the toilet before going to the movie. I went straight to the train station and went home. I don’t regret my decision at all, but the backlash from my mate’s girlfriend was not pretty. Were my actions justified?

The Maverick

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Dear The Maverick,

I think in this situation, your actions were very justified. I’m sorry, but if someone shoplifted in front of me – whether it be on a first, date, tenth date, or our wedding night – and thought it was a really good idea, I would definitely ditch the date. No questions asked. That situation just shows you what kind of person she really is… a dishonest one. And what’s the point in dating someone if you can’t trust them because you know they’re dishonest?

I appreciate the fact, however, that you didn’t ditch because she looked daggy or wasn’t what you expected. One of my things on first dates is dress to impress, but don’t overdress to the point that you look like you’re going to sip some sparkling wine at the opera. I will always dress presentably on first dates. In saying that, if she was that comfortable in her trackies and jandals, then that’s fine. May not be your (or my) cup of tea, but I’m glad you were willing to overlook that somewhat trivial aspect about your blind date.

Of course, ditching dates isn’t a good idea, but everything depends on the situation. Hell, even something as big as killing someone could be justified depending on the situation (like self-defence, and in no way am I advocating the murder of people, I’m just using that as an example). If you would’ve ditched the date because she was wearing trackies, then I wouldn’t give you the thumbs up at all. I would’ve called you shallow and a wanker. Or possibly just a shallow wanker. But leaving because your date thought it’d be a good idea to steal lollies worth a small amount? LOL. Yep. Good job mate.

I hope your mate’s girlfriend knows what she had done so she can understand why you did what you did. If she doesn’t? Just redirect her here to Widows Lure so she can see your side of the story. And my sage advice. Curtseys.

Happy dating… and go the Broncos!

– by The Black Widow

If you have a question or need some good ol’ fashioned blunt advice from #DatingNikki, use the Contact page on our website and put in your comment “Subject: Dating Nikki”, or alternatively send me an e-mail at widowslure@gmail.com and put “Dating Nikki” in the subject line. I will respond to your cries for help as soon as possible!

Dating Nikki: listen to your heart (as clichè as that sounds)

Posted in Dating Nikki, Lifestyle by

Dear Nikki,

I’m torn between two girls.

One of them I have a really strong physical connection with. We have amazing sex and she knows how to please me. On the other hand, the other girl just gets me, you know? We can talk about everything and anything.

I really like them both and don’t want to hurt either of them.

Please help!

Confused Guy

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Dear Confused Guy,

This sounds awfully like a #DatingNikki case I had previously… if you are the guy she’s talking about, this is extremely awkies.

Either way, I’m going to give you the clichè that is so deftly placed in the headline of this column: “listen to your heart”. Basically what you’ve got is a good physical connection with one girl (who for the sake of this article we’ll call “Summer”) but your emotional connection is lacking, and you have a good emotional connection with the other girl (who for the sake of this article we’ll call “Layla”) but you’re not sure if you’ll have as good a physical connection with her.

I would personally base your decision on what you’re ultimately looking for: if you’re looking for something more long-term and substantial, then I would probably go with Layla. You can always establish a good physical connection with her once you get over the first awkward hump. You can spice things up to get your blood pumpin’ in the future while you can’t necessarily fake an emotional connection if you’re not legitimately feeling it with Summer.

If, on the other hand, you are just looking for a regular nightly or overnightly fling, then Summer is definitely the girl for you. If you’re worried about having a really bad physical connection with Layla, at least it’s guaranteed that you have a good one with Summer. In saying that, if you don’t feel as if you really get Summer as a person, then that may be a huge problem if you do venture into a long-term relationship with her.

My advice would be this: figure out what you want in life and then make your decision. The longer you keep this going – and depending on if the girls know about each other – someone is going to get hurt the longer you drag this out.

There’s always the swerve decision that you choose neither girl, but where’s the fun in that?

Happy dating… and go the Broncos!

– by The Black Widow

If you have a question or need some good ol’ fashioned blunt advice from #DatingNikki, use the Contact page on our website and put in your comment “Subject: Dating Nikki” or alternatively send me an e-mail at widowslure@gmail.com and put “Dating Nikki” in the subject line. I will respond to your cries for help as soon as possible!