The Definitive Ranking of the Avengers

“Avengers: Assemble!”

The Marvel Avengers video game has dropped recently and it has sparked a passionate reaction from fans; whether it was positive or negative, fans had a lot to say about the game that has been keeping people talking for years!

Captain America may be standing at the front, but is he the top Avenger?

After playing through the exceptional campaign, plus clocking up hours and hours of gameplay through the multiplayer war table, I can safely say that I’ve experienced a fair amount of gameplay as each character thus far (even if I have my favourites).

There has been a lot of debate over who is the most useful character of the six Avengers available for use, so here are my rankings for the best Avengers to use when battling A.I.M and Monica Rappacini’s skank face.

#6
Iron Man

One of the more disappointing things about this game is playing as Iron Man. I was looking forward to it: he’s got cool gadgets, he’s funny, he can fly and shoot funky missiles and lasers, and he’s voiced by Nolan North for crying out loud. Except the flying mechanics are what drops Mr. Stark to the bottom of the list. The flying mechanism in the game is flawed, and when you want to sprint as Iron Man, instead of just running fast, he slowly glides. While his projectile attacks are efficient, his melee combat is weak compared to his teammates, and that is something I can’t forgive.

#5
Ms. Marvel

While being cute and relatable to most of the video gamers out there, Ms. Marvel’s super flexibility make her quite hard to control when battling robots. Her projectile attack of stretching out her arm in a punch isn’t the most reliable form of offence either; although I will say her Embiggen ability is probably one of the best abilities in the game.

#4
Captain America

The appointed leader of the Avengers should be higher on the list if you really think about it, but his slightly-above-average fighting style cripple his ability to be in the top three. His best feature is his shield (to the surprise of none) which means his defence is easily the best of the team. However, with a strong defence comes a fairly weak offence, and besides his ability to throw his shield to ricochet between countless amounts of robots, his attacks leave a little to be desired. Cap is also the hardest to carefully ease around the map as he can’t fly (a la Thor and Iron Man), can’t grapple onto higher ledges (a la Black Widow and Ms. Marvel) and isn’t a giant green gamma monster capable of jumping easil to high places (a la Hulk… were you expecting someone else?)

#3
Hulk

Someone who I wasn’t expecting to enjoy playing as but ended up really loving was Hulk. His brute strength coupled up with his love to “smash” *sexual pun not intended* makes him super fun to play as, especially when you grab someone and either start slamming them onto the floor, or even use them as a weapon as you swing them into other enemies. I also enjoyed that he wasn’t made OP like he probably is considered by the comics standard. His major downfall is his projectile attacking (throwing boulders) and his relatively tame special abilities.

#2
Thor

While Iron Man’s flying ability was whack, Thor was much easier to control since he didn’t slowly glide when put into sprint mode. His melee ability is very strong with or without Mjolnir, and his ability to use Mjolnir in his projectile attack, but then to pin that enemy to the wall while you beat the tar out of them with your fists is iconic. His special abilities compliment the team and his strengths well, even though I still don’t quite get how effective his Bitfrost ability is… maybe I’m not using it properly.

#1
Black Widow

Admittedly, there is slight bias here because Natasha is my favourite Avenger, but the Black Widow trumps the rest of the Avengers in terms of overall ability. She is super quick to speed around the map and use her Widow’s Line grapple to zip around high places easily and also zoom into battle by latching onto an enemy; her melee ability is top notch with her quick and effective strikes and Widow’s Bite; her projectile attacks with three different types of guns are also super effective when you know how to use them properly; and her invisibility team effect is probably the best passive ability of the bunch. Her gameplay style isn’t hard to wrap your head around if you’re a casual gamer, and once you’ve mastered the Widow, you can conquer the world.

There you have it. The only one without any special powers or enhanced abilities is the best one of the group. Don’t blame me – I didn’t make the rules.

– by The Black Widow

The Housewives of Beverly Hills: Ranked

You may be surprised to see who is number one.

During this Covid quarantine period, I’ve had to pick up new hobbies and interests; one of those being The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills thanks to my best friend Emilie. Before, I never would’ve seen myself get into a reality show like this, but now it’s become one of my most favourite pop culture things ever!

Who’s the best? And who’s the worst?

I started from season one in June and am now completely caught up to the most recent episode of season ten. I have seen friendships form and explode, drinks thrown across the table, gifted bunnies given back due to a fake superstition, and everything else that a trash reality TV show can provide.

During the show’s 10 seasons, they have featured 18 main cast housewives; this is not including the “friends” of the housewives such as Eden Sassoon and her iconic black wig. As such, Eden Sassoon and the other friends are not eligible for this list.

Emilie and I about to rank the shit out of these housewives.

While discussing this blog post with Emilie, she’s decided she wants to make her own list. So without further ado, here are mine and Emilie’s rankings of the Beverly Hills Housewives.

#18
Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave/Taylor Armstrong

N: Teddi is boring, and her attempts to not be boring just make her even more boring. Also, if you’ve been called a shirt stirrer three seasons straight, well maybe it’s time you look in the mirror.
E: Taylor is annoying and insecure.

#17
Brandi Glanville/Garcelle Beauvais

N: It never seemed like Brandi ever really fit in with the group. On top of that, she just seems like a horrible person that says shit about people and then hides behind the fact that she’s “just being honest”.
E: Garcelle was boring. She hardly showed up this season and started petty drama.

#16
Yolanda Hadid/Denise Richards

N: Not once during the entire show did I ever feel an ounce of sympathy for Yolanda. I didn’t relate to her in the slightest, and I found myself waiting for her to leave the show so we could get onto bigger and better things.
E: I loved Denise in season nine but season ten killed it.

#15
Kyle Richards/Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave

N: Kyle started as my favourite because she was Paris Hilton’s pretty aunt, but over the years, I have come to acknowledge that she isn’t as great as I thought she was, and she’s a schemer, and I am not okay with it.
E: Teddi’s boring and cries too much.

#14
Kim Richards/Kathryn Edwards

N: I sympathised with her struggles and her battles for maybe the first couple of seasons. After a while, I was over it, and if that makes me sound like a bitch, then so be it. She tended to use her alcoholism as an excuse to get away with shit, and the fact that she would always blame Kyle didn’t help her case either.
E: Kathryn was also boring.

#13
Lisa Rinna/Joyce Giraud de Ohoven

N: Someone who would’ve stayed high on this list had season 10 not happened, Lisa was a fun addition to the show because she’s so carefree and crazy. But then she showed her true colours in season 10 to Denise, and honestly what a piece of shit.
E: Joyce = boring.

#12
Camille Grammer/Carlton Gebbia

N: Camille would’ve been dead last had she not redeemed herself over the years. In season one, she was a deadset piece of shit; she had redeemed herself by season eight, just to show her shitty colours again in season nine.
E: Carlton was a witch.

#11
Kathryn Edwards/Camille Grammer

N: I was neither for nor against Kathryn. She was a nice albeit random addition to the housewives, and I can see why she didn’t last longer than one season. Having a private convo with Erika just to rat her out a couple of days later drops her a few spots on the list.
E: Camille tries too hard.

#10
Taylor Armstrong/Kyle Richards

N: Another one I didn’t really have a connection with, although I felt for her when she came out with her stories of abuse and domestic violence, and I’m so glad she’s out there living her best life with her new man now.
E: Kyle is obsessed with herself and is an attention seeker.

#9
Lisa Vanderpump/Kim Richards

N: LVP is a tricky one. I think she’s cool and amazing and glamorous, but she’s also a manipulator and you can tell she created all of the storylines for seasons 1-9 behind the scenes. Erika was right about her. She’s a sniper from the side, and she’s bloody good at it.
E: Kim is a hot mess but who isn’t?

#8
Garcelle Beauvais/Yolanda Hadid

N: Garcelle was a breath of fresh air for the show, and had big shoes to fill as the ‘replacement’ for LVP. Besides the fact that she was the first black housewife of Beverly Hills which was groundbreaking, she was also super funny and chill and was exactly what the show needed.
E: Yolanda was sweet and funny but she was conniving.

#7
Carlton Gebbia/Brandi Glanville

N: Carlton was bloody off chops and I was all for it. This Wiccan goddess attacking Kyle is one of my favourite memories from this show, and we were honestly robbed of more Carlton goodness by only having her on one season.
E: Brandi is a drunk mess!

#6
Dorit Kemsley/Lisa Vanderpump

N: Dorit is arguably the most stylish of the housewives, and is the reason why I am dying to get a Birkin. While I love her fashion and lifestyle, Dorit is notorious for making mountains out of mole hills, and I don’t understand her need for making shit out of nothing.
E: Lisa was a master manipulator. BRING LISA BACK!

#5
Joyce Giraud de Ohoven/Eileen Davidson

N: A beautiful addition to RHOBH that would’ve done better on later seasons of the show, this former beauty queen stood up for herself in the face of racism and bullying at the hands of Brandi Trashville, and I was all for it. Plus, her hair is simply out of this world.
E: Eileen was the realest housewife of them all.

#4
Erika Girardi/Lisa Rinna

N: Another housewife that would’ve been higher up on the list had season 10 not happened, Erika Girardi is the definition of fabulous. I actually live for Erika Jayne and am obsessed with her music, and her no fucks given attitude towards life is absolutely iconic. Just lay off the Denise attacks, hun.
E: She can’t help herself, and she owns it!

#3
Adrienne Maloof/Dorit Kemsley

N: The absolute best of the first three seasons of the show, Adrienne was the only level-headed and normal one of the housewives. She was usually the peacemaker of the group, but that didn’t mean she was boring at all. Plus I just want her lifestyle… chick is ballin’!
E: Dorit’s fashion is on point!

#2
Denise Richards/Erika Girardi

N: Denise Richards was the reason I started watching the show in the first place. A fan of hers from her Dr. Christmas Jones days, Denise took Adrienne’s role in season nine as the only chill and normal housewife of the group. Season ten is the only reason why she’s not in the number one spot, as her shady behaviour was a bit questionable, whether you believed her or not.
E: Pat the puss, honey!

#1
Eileen Davidson/Adrienne Maloof

N: I will not hear a single bad word about Eileen. If Adrienne and Denise were level-headed peacekeepers, then Eileen was a level-headed goddess. Never one to start drama for the sake of it, but never being afraid to speak her mind or bring up something that was bothering her, Eileen was without a doubt my favourite housewife of the entire series.
E: Adrienne was the voice of reason.

Did you have a different set of rankings to us? Who was your favourite housewife? Let us know in the comments! (But just know that if Eileen is anything less than number five, then I don’t want to hear it.)

– by The Black Widow/Emilie

Video Game Clichés = ROFLMFAO

We’ve all seen them, whether we’re conscious of it or not.

For the intense or casual gamers alike, there are so many things in video games that happen so frequently that we’re not even aware of them happening. It’s almost hilarious how our mind doesn’t even register that these things that our minds are so oblivious to, realistically, are impossible.

What are these things I’m referring to?

I’m glad you asked.

Why you so cliche for, Leon?! (SOURCE: Screenshot from Resident Evil 4 game)

Why you so cliché for, Leon?! (SOURCE: Screenshot from Resident Evil 4 game)

Here are Solstice Satisfaction’s top video game clichés:

Health packs, which may also come in the form of food
Your character just got slashed by a sword about 20 times and is now on the brink of death. What do you do to fix this? You grab a conveniently located health pack that is glowing compared to the rest of the environment. I appreciate the thought put into these health packs, but I know that if I got punched in the face by Ronda Rousey, a simple white bag with a red cross on it is not going to help the situation at all. Or, if health packs aren’t your thing, let’s make a quick reference to Gauntlet Legends – which I would argue to be the most underrated game on the N64 platform – where, instead of health packs, they have pieces of meat scattered throughout the world. The best part? When your character eats that piece of meat lying on the dirt, he/she will say something like “Mmm! I like food!”

Double jumping… or pretty much just jumping in general
I don’t know about you, but I don’t do much jumping in my personal life. The only time I can think of when a jump is necessary in my life is when I need to get higher up on the pole I’m about to swing on. Other than that, if a certain area is too high for me, you can bet your bottom dollar I’m not going to jump around to get up to it. I’d find a ladder of some sort like a normal person. Some video games, however, stretch this idea by making it possible to jump… and then jump again from mid air. Just imagine if that were possible. Seriously. Imagine all these people jumping in mid air. It’d be hilarious.

Invisible walls, hopefully a thing of the past
For some reason, you want to read what’s on the back of that vending machine in the corner. You run to it. Hey! You can’t get any closer because there seems to be some impenetrable force blocking you. Congratulations! You have just run into an invisible wall! Seen less and less these days due to the ever increasing video games and open world RPGs, the invisible wall deserves its spot in video game history and not present. Speaking of walls…

Running a marathon, in the same spot, against a wall
I can’t even begin to describe just how funny this is. You’re running your character through the area and you’ve come up against a wall. You didn’t have enough time to turn the character around, so it’s simply just going to keep running against the wall, not actually moving and not actually blasting the wall like a normal person would. I tried running against a wall like this once as a child… it did not turn out okay.

Male protagonists, damsels in distress
I can’t even begin to count how many games I’ve played where you are forced to play a male character and along the way, there is some poor womanly soul who needs rescuing. I don’t know about you but this cliché is mega outdated. I mean, put this way; who would be the saviour and who would be the victim in the duo of Ronda Rousey and the bloke who plays Ron Weasley? Think about it. Girls kick ass too.

No sleep, no bladder, no worries!
Have you ever noticed how the character you are controlling never has to eat, use the toilet, sleep, or sit down? I mean, if you think about it, they’ve only been scouring the lands since about 40 hours of gameplay ago. Surely they’ve got the runs. Or an insane desire to down a Big Mac. But no. Video game characters aren’t really human after all.

Quick time events… but why?
Nothing is worse than watching a cutscene in the middle of a game you’re playing and then realising that it isn’t a cut scene and is in fact a quick time event but because you got too lazy, you ended up missing the quick time action and dying. Maybe that’s just me, but these quick time events – which are basically like interactive scenes and not actual gameplay – are so annoying that I’m sad to see Resident Evil 4 use them a lot. Such a brilliant game tainted with such stupid quick time events.

If you have any other hated clichés, let us know in the comments.

– by The Black Widow

Top 10 Badass Who Villains

Let’s face it; Doctor Who has the most badass villains ever! But who’s the most badassest of them all? Solstice Satisfaction takes a look at the worst of them.

All images from various Doctor Who sources, including The Doctor Who Site.

10. Sontarans
sontarans

The frightening soldier-like race only made less scary by the fact that they look like potatos with bodies, the Sontarans are quite fond of killing and think of it as a type of leisure, so that alone should make even the mightiest Time Lord or human companion wary of these potatos-in-blue-suits.

9. Autons
autons

If you work in retail, I feel bad for you son, I’ve got 99 problems, but a store mannequin turning into a killing Auton ain’t one. These “plastic people” are controlled by the Nestene Consciousness and shoot these really nifty lasers out of their plastic hands. They’re also frightening because people are used to store mannequins and will let their guard down. But you shouldn’t. Rose Tyler isn’t in this dimension to save you.

8. Vashta Nerada
Vashta_nerada

“Hey! Who turned out the lights?” If this sentence resonates with you as a Whovian, then you’ll know why the Vashta Nerada are so frightening. I could only describe the Vashta Nerada as a type of darkness that kills you and takes control of your physical body while replaying the last thing you ever said constantly. If you were in a River Song spacesuit. If you were just wearing trackies and a sweater… I’d say it’d be much worse.

7. The Beast
the-beast

The Beast is commonly referred to as the Devil. Or Satan. Or Lucifer. Whatever you’d like to call it. Either way, he is just as scary as every demonic version of him suggests, although I’m pretty sure he’s like 50 feet tall and lives in the fiery depths of hell. Or whatever your version of hell is.

6. Empty Child/Children
emptych

If there is one seemingly innocent line that can freak out a Whovian, it’s this: “Are you my mummy?” What turned one child with a gas mask on into an entire colony of people wearing gas masks all saying “Are you my mummy?” became one of the most frightening things of the entire Doctor Who universe, or Whoniverse. Let’s just say I can’t look at gas masks the same way.

5. Silence
silence

How are you supposed to take the fight to a creature that you can’t even remember? The Silence, who look like regular stereotypical aliens sometimes dressed in dapper suits, are actually deadly in the fact that as soon as you look away from them, you can’t even remember them. Just make sure you carry a marker around with you to let your body know how many times you’ve actually seen them.

4. Weeping Angels
weepingangels

If there is one thing worse than forgetting a creature, it’s not looking away from it. The Weeping Angels feed off time energy and are the reason why Amy and Rory had to separate from Eleven. Their shtick is simple: they are angel statues when you look at them. You blink, and they’re all of a sudden right in your face. Don’t take your eye off them, because the moment they touch you, you’ve gone back way in time and have to live a life in an era you don’t know.

3. The Master
masterjohn

The one Time Lord who is capable of giving the Doctor the heebie jeebies is The Master. His friend. His rival. His nemesis. Only made less frightening by his unpredictable behaviour, the Master doesn’t have the same kindness to humans as the Doctor does. Although, we can take comfort in that Martha Jones once stopped him from taking over the world.

2. Cybermen
cybermen

“Deleeeete!” If you hear this, you should either duck or roll to the side. Or ultimately give up and surrender. Because that is the word a Cyberman will shout before he shoots you and kills you, just like that. Cybermen were once humans who were convered into this robotic killing machines and are completely devoid of human emotions or feelings. What is worse than having no feelings!

1. Daleks
daleks

What looks like a rolling machine with a rod sticking out of its head to a non Whovian is actually the most deadly Who villain of them all. The Daleks, the rivals of the Time Lords. The rivalry led to the Time War which left the Doctor wandering the world by himself as the only Time Lord left in existence. Of course, if you need a hand defeating the Daleks, the Doctor has several companions who have been known to EXTERMINAAAATE them. Here’s looking at you, Bad Wolf Rose Tyler.

Be glad that all these creatures aren’t real.

Or are they?

Don’t blink!

– by The Black Widow