Tag Archives: Real Housewives

A RHORI-ng Debut

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Don’t worry. I hate myself for making that headline.

There are a few new additions in life that I enjoy – a new handbag, a new phone, a new book… and a new Real Housewives franchise.

Enter Real Housewives of Rhode Island.

This is how easy it actually is to tell them apart. L to R: Jo-ellen, Ashley, Alicia, Kelsey, Rulla, Liz and Rosie.

This wasn’t necessarily the franchise I was expecting, as there have been various rumours of cities like Chicago and Nashville and Las Vegas receiving their own Real Housewives show. Plus, besides the fact that I recently learned that Rhode Island is the safest state in the US for LGBTQIA+, there isn’t much I know about Rhode Island. Well, once on my Contiki trip in 2016 we stopped in Providence for lunch and I went to the Victoria’s Secret there and bought a cute new tracksuit with the hunkiest cashier ever… but that’s beside the point.

So this show was going to be my true introduction to Rhode Island. And my god, if I’m not hooked already.

Judging off the above photo, if you didn’t watch the pilot episode yourself, you’re probably thinking that all these brunette women look the same and how on earth are you going to tell them apart. Andy Cohen even said that once you get into the show you’ll be able to tell them apart easily, and honestly, he was right.

Immediately we were thrown into the lives of six of the seven housewives (Rulla is yet to show up) and we are quickly introduced to the friendship dynamics of the cast. And even quicker so, you are thrown into what I imagine will be one of the biggest talking points of the season – Kelsey is dating a gazillionaire who spends half his time in Rhode Island with her, and half his time in Florida with his other girlfriend, and all parties have agreed to this arrangement.

If that’s not enough to get you hooked into this show, in the very first episode of the show, Rosie and Joe-ellen get into it at a beach picnic where Ashley and Alicia have to intervene. Generally pilot episodes are used to introduce you to the cast and then maybe introduce some light drama at the end of the episode as a cliffhanger to get you watching the rest of the season. But this argument was like midway through the episode and was equal amounts petty and raw honesty between the two.

For me, a great Real Housewives franchise (and season) need wealth and lifestyle porn, drama but not too much that it suffocates the audience, and a cast of women who are actually friends with each other, and RHORI seems to have all of that already. I mean, there’s a room in Kelsey’s house dedicated to just massages with her own massage chair. HFD.

Plus, in just one episode, RHORI has managed to be more entertaining than the entirety of RHOBH season 15.

This show has gotten off to an amazing start already, and I can’t wait to see more of it. Thankfully, we don’t have to wait too long, as RHORI has moved to Mondays after its pilot episode (Sunday nights for you Americans) so I get to watch these wildly interesting women again very soon.

If I had to pick one obvious bit of constructive criticism that stayed with me for most of the episode, it’s that some of their accents are going to take a while for me to get used to. And they may just perpetually irritate me for the rest of the show, but let’s see how we go.

If you’re a Bravo fan, a Real Housewives fan, or just want a new show to start… please give RHORI a go. Trust me. It’s fucking great already.

– by The Black Widow

The Housewives of Sydney: Ranked

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Finally, we’re coming home!

Welcome to another edition of Real Housewives ranked, and I’m so excited to be writing about my first city outside of the Bravo universe, especially because it’s in my own city – Sydney!

Just a few queens hanging out. And Caroline.



Full transparency: I watched this out of chronological order. I saw the hype about RHOS coming back with season two after a six year hiatus. One specific housewife cast in season two was also a major reason why I decided to tune in, but more on that later. I watched season two, then season one, then the most recent season three.

With a small list of castmates comes a small ranking, so without further interruption, let’s rank the iconic ladies of Sydney!

13. Athena X Levendi
Just like the very first episode of RHOS suggests, Athena X is Jatz crackers! I don’t think I’ve ever seen a housewife like Athena X, and unfortunately I do not mean that as a compliment. She was capable of going from 0 to 100 in a matter of seconds, and she would go from attacking someone and belittling them for no reason, to then crying for forgiveness, just to rinse and repeat. Also the owner of the most exhausting reunion performance ever. Ugh.

12. Caroline Gaultier
I quite liked Caroline in season two, as I thought she was stylish, had a certain sass about her, and was fairly entertaining to watch. And then her abysmal performance in season Three shot her to the (almost) bottom of this list. She spent the entire season playing professional victim, shirking accountability, and just being a general piss irritating housewife.

11. Nicole O’Neil
I quite like that Nicole is possibly the preppiest housewife in any city, because we all know Housewives was intended to be lifestyle porn. Watching her navigate conflict calmly “like a lady” and then watching her blow up at Athena X was a very interesting contrast. But her performance in season two and three is mostly forgettable, and her refusing to participate drags her down.

10. Krissy Marsh
So I actually quite like Krissy, which goes to show you how good this cast is if she’s at 10. I think she’s quite funny, has great confessional energy, and her ability to navigate conflict but also get up from a table and walk off is quite fun to watch. There’s just something about her that’s quite pretentious? I don’t know. I still like her though.

9. Matty Samaei
We all know I love a peacemaker housewife that can also get into it and defend themselves when they need to, and Matty was one of the housewives who played this role in season one. I would’ve liked to learn more about her family and her career, but seeing her interactions with the group was entertaining. And her storm off in the finale was iconic.

8. Victoria Montano
Victoria is probably one of the most stunning housewives in any city, and I love that she has a flare for short skirts because so do I. She exudes wealth which is what a housewife should do, but there is an obvious air of elitism about her that’s probably a little too real. Her role in season three as Martine’s mouthpiece does keep her from going any higher in this list, unfortunately.

7. Martine Chippendale
Martine is an interesting case for me. First of all, she’s absolutely beautiful. Secondly, I find her feud with sunlight to be hilarious TV, and her ordering her husband to carry her parasol while she swung a golf club was great. Thirdly, I appreciate that she can speak her mind, especially as the newbie in season three. What keeps her from going higher in this list is I feel like the other housewives had to walk on eggshells around her after her blow up, which isn’t a nice feeling for anyone tbh.

6. Kate Adams
From episode one of season two, I could tell that Kate would be a great housewife. Calling out past drama that had nothing to do with her in a group setting was straight out of the housewives playbook, and then she continued the next two seasons constantly speaking her mind, standing up to someone if she felt slighted, and also going to the gutter for ammunition. Textbook housewife IMHO.

5. Victoria Rees
Victoria was really that bitch in season one, and the very first episode showed that. Her throwing Athena’s cape into the harbour may have been a tad overproduced, but lord did it set the tone for the most chaotic season of Housewives ever. She had a very interesting personal story of finding her family, and her season long feud with Athena is one for the history books tbh.

4. Sally Obermeder
With the two peacemakers from season one gone, it was Sally’s turn to step up, and she fit this role well. She was mainly a fence sitter in season two, being an ally to everyone on the cast. Season three was lowkey a fantastic performance from Sally, as she started the season off trying to bring everyone together, but then would get into it with Victoria on different occasions where she won each time. Plus, you can just tell she’s a wonderful human. We love that.

3. Melissa Tkautz
Of the two aforementioned peacemakers in season one, Melissa was my favourite. A stunning housewife and pop icon from the 90s, Melissa was mainly an ear to anyone who needed one, but when her own friend Athena turned on her for literally no reason, Melissa did not back down and defended herself against that haunted woman. I would love to see a Melissa return in the future tbh.

2. Lisa Oldfield
Lisa is absolutely a one of a kind. With the sharpest tongue on any Real Housewife ever, Lisa could cut you down so quickly you wouldn’t even realise she did it, and she truly had the best confessionals of any Housewife in any city. Probably the owner of the best one liners from any Housewife, Lisa was equal parts vile, entertaining, and quality TV. I hope she did get to thank that morbidly obese guy on a kayak towing a giant inflatable swan for saving her life. 

1. Terry Biviano
When I mention there was one name who made me want to watch RHOS, I’m talking about Terry Biviano. If you’re an NRL fan, you know who she is. If you’re an Aussie reality TV fan, you know who she is. If you love a good pair of shoes, you know who she is. I have never picked someone as being the perfect Real Housewife as I did for Terry. Not scared of conflict, arguments, or stirring up petty drama and shutting it down with class, Terry is absolutely a top tier Real Houswife, and a lot of women could learn a thing or two from her on how to navigate conflict on reality TV.

I do have concerns that season four may not be coming any time soon. Season three was announced pretty much as soon as season two had ended, so the fact that we haven’t heard anything frightens me, because this entire cast is reality TV gold, and this show is only really just getting started. As long as Terry comes back, obviously.

Because honestly, Sydney is probably one of my favourite cities of Housewives ever – and that’s saying a lot!

Also I just want to include this photo here for no reason at all.



– by The Black Widow

The Housewives of New York: Ranked

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It’s the Big Apple’s time to shine!

When I first started my foray into Real Housewives, I was fairly adamant that I wasn’t going to watch Real Housewives of New York because the snippets I did see didn’t tickle my fancy at all. Additionally, my impressions of Ramona and LuAnn from RHUGT weren’t the greatest, so it was a city I was happy to skip.

But then I had no other cities to watch, and my love for Real Housewives proved too great, so I started the second ever franchise with little expectations, and to be honest, I actually really enjoyed it!

Thought I’d trigger a fanbase by including a picture of the new RHONY over the OG’s.


It’s important to note that these rankings will take into consideration the original group of women that made up RHONY as well as the iconic women who appeared in the reboot. So from the wonderful eccentricities of Alex McCord, to the most Brynntesting girl in the room Brynn Whitfield…

Let’s get to ranking!

23. Ramona Singer
I find Ramona to be an abhorrent human being, and I’m one of those Bravoholics that can’t excuse poor behaviour and bad human qualities because “they’re entertaining”. Sure, she was entertaining at some points and she had some iconic moments, but she was so blatantly rude and condescending to literally everyone and tried to pass it off as ‘just being honest’. Good riddance tbh.

22. Luann de Lesseps
If you were to ask me who the most overrated housewife is, I’d say Luann. Luann seems to have such a big following among the Bravoverse and I truly don’t get it. While not as rude and condescending as Ramona, Luann makes up for it in grand delusion and not in the fun kinda way either. I’m surprised she’s noticed that other people exist in this world to be completely honest, so this is why she finds herself ranked so low. 

21. Cindy Barshop
The first one season wonder of this list, Cindy was just kinda there. While I did agree with her that a ‘pecking order’ among the group was ridiculous, Cindy just didn’t mesh with the group and it came across on screen very clearly. Being cropped out of the group photo really sealed the deal as well.

20. Leah McSweeney
How Leah could go from such a fantastic first season, to the most abysmal sophomore season is beyond me. Initially, I liked her young, free-spirited energy, and she was a great addition to a significantly older cast. And then the popularity got to her head, and she made young and free-spirited seem like a bad thing to the point of being unbearable. Oh well. At least I can thank her for bringing Brynn to our screens since she’s the sole reason RHONY had to be recast.

19. Sai de Silva
I personally have a bad taste in my mouth when it comes to ‘influencers’ so immediately I was wary of Sai. Turns out I had every reason to be. She was just so unbearable to watch, so I can’t imagine how unbearable she is to be around. The only praise I’ll give her is that every cast needs a villain, and with some refining, she could be a good one.

18. Erin Lichy
Erin’s beautiful and she looks like she lives a fancy, interesting life, but homegirl needs some lessons on how to be a bone collector because her pot-stirring ways were so obvious and they flopped nearly every time. I’ll cut her some slack that it was her first season and they had big shoes to fill, so hopefully she finds her footing more in her second season. Also I’ve never been so sure that someone has bad breath before.

17. Ubah Hassan
Ubah had a great start for me, being a beautiful, strong and outspoken woman that radiated classy model energy, and she finished off the season fairly the same. And then she had one of the worst reunion performances I’ve ever seen, which tanked her position on this list. Here’s to hoping she makes a snappy recovery in her second season.

16. Jules Wainstein
I actually really liked Jules. I thought she was beautiful, was great with her kids, and had an interesting story to share. Of the one season wonders (Eboni excluded for obvious reasons), I thought Jules was the most deserving of a second season. I couldn’t stand Bethenny bringing Jules’s eating disorder up, and also couldn’t stand that Bethenny had an issue with Jules mentioning she was Asian because if you’re not a POC, you don’t get how race plays into simple aspects of life. I hope Jules is living her best life now.

15. Jill Zarin
For the first couple of seasons, I really liked Jill. She was fun to watch, seemed to live an elite New York kind of lifestyle, and she was kinda quirky. And then her atrocious performance in season four happened, and that really dropped her down the list. Also, Jill’s unquenchable thirst for being featured in the spotlight is both hilarious and pathetic and gets really annoying sometimes.

14. Sonja Morgan
Sonja is a really popular housewife among the Bravoverse, and while I get why others may like her, I just couldn’t get behind her. Her shtick of being an older woman living as if she was a 21-year-old horny sorority girl got old very quick, and it became extremely embarrassing to watch all of her drunk antics. I will, however, applaud her for being the only one to acknowledge and accept Eboni voicing her struggles as a black woman in season 13.

13. Aviva Drescher
Let’s be honest: Aviva is iconic. Maybe bar Bethenny, Aviva was the sharpest with her words, and she could effortlessly read a bitch as made evident with her ‘white trash’ spiel. Her backstory of how she lost her leg was also very interesting. I don’t even need to mention the leg toss because that goes down in history, and rightfully so. Iconic. Simply iconic.

12. Kelly Killoren Bensimon
I lowkey love the crazy, unhinged housewives, and Kelly was New York’s version of this archetype. I mean, it wasn’t called Scary Island for no reason. Kelly was beautiful, but almost every word she spoke made absolutely no sense, but you could tell in her mind she thought she was spitting hard facts and truths. God bless her, that wonderful action verb of a woman.

11. Eboni K. Williams
I compare Eboni to Tiffany Moon of RHOD, in that their respective casts were never really confronted with the topic of race on their shows until they showed up. Eboni was the first black woman to be featured on RHONY, and she was unapologetic about that fact, looking to educate the women on black culture as well as explain to them the harsh stereotypes she faces as a black woman. Sure, she was a bit condescending, but I also think she should be proud that she’s a strong, intelligent black woman, and if others find that intimidating, that’s on them.

10. Bethenny Frankel
Bethenny was a hard one for me to rank, considering that I really liked her on the show, but despise her outside of it. The difference between Ramona and Bethenny, however, is that Bethenny was at least likeable during her tenure on RHONY. She was that bitch of the show, most of the season’s storylines revolved around her, and she was essentially always guaranteed to get first chair at the reunion. Her anti-Bravo antics currently can get fucked, however, and I’m sick of seeing her stupid face eating in her TikToks.

9. Jenna Lyons
I had preconceived notions of Jenna Lyons, and those led me to believe I wouldn’t like her. However, the images of a stonefaced, monotone boss-like figure were dashed when this sweet, gentle woman spoke for the first time, and I almost immediately fell in love with Jenna. I do believe she’s holding back, however, and would love to see more of her authentic self next season.

8. Jessel Taank
I started off not liking Jessel, especially with the Christmas tree lingerie fiasco, but then her fun side shone through, and she showed why she was the main girl for season 14. Her ability to stand up for herself, while also talking with this almost sweet naivety made her really likeable, and I can’t wait to see more of her next season.

7. Alex McCord
Oh my sweet Alex McCord. I don’t know how I’ve coped without you for so long. At first, I was indifferent to the eccentric Alex who couldn’t bear to be away from her man for more than 30 seconds, but then I grew to love her as she became more confident in her voice, and her reads were just so iconic. (“You are in high school!” anyone?) I will never forgive Caroline Manzo and Brandi Glanville for preventing us from seeing Alex’s grand return in RHUGT.

6. Heather Thomson
I saw Heather’s grinning face floating around Housewives Twitter before I started RHONY, so with that in mind, I assumed I wouldn’t like her. But I really liked both sides of Heather’s personality: the sweet and nurturing side that would refer to her friends as ‘mama’; and the no-nonsense ratchet side that so effortlessly dragged Aviva. I also really admired her strong business acumen, and her efforts to relate to Eboni. I will never forgive Leah McSweeney for ruining a potential Heather comeback in season 13.

5. Kristen Taekman
Every Housewives city will randomly cast a young, pretty housewife to change up the dynamic, and Kristen was New York’s version of this archetype. What makes Kristen different, though, is that she was super likeable, shady when she had to be, could defend herself when she needed to, and was just like the sweet girl next door. Her comeback performance on RHUGT also just goes to show that sometimes the ‘forgotten’ Housewives are some of the best Housewives.

4. Tinsley Mortimer
I didn’t know anything about Tinsley before RHONY, so finding out that she was the It Girl of New York and also lowkey inspired Gossip Girl was super fascinating. I love the sweet, non-confrontational but can get into it when needs be (more on that later) Housewife archetype, and I found Tinsley to be a version of this. Her personal storyline of wanting to find love was just so captivating, and how could you not be on her side with this? It’s just a shame she left halfway through season 12, because that was shaping up to be her best season yet.

3. Dorinda Medley
Like Radzi says, “When Dorinda is bad, she’s so good!” I had unfairly grouped Dorinda in with Ramona and Luann so I expected not to like her, but I ended up loving the Meddler so much. You had weet and sober Dorinda, who was very motherly and nurturing, but then you get martini Slurinda, who would just verbally eviscerate anyone for no good reason. Mix that together and you have yourself a top tier Housewife. In saying that, I could see why she was ‘put on pause’ at the end of season 12.

2. Brynn Whitfield
If I could pick any Housewife to be my spirit animal, it would definitely be Brynn Whitfield. Brynn is flirty, sexy and confident, willing to use her sexuality to her advantage whenever she wants, but also has a serious side that serves as a good friend and someone you don’t want to mess with. And that is basically describing myself. Learning more about Brynn’s backstory and her family dynamics also make her one of the more fascinating Housewives across any city.

1. Carole Radziwill
As mentioned before, I love the sweet non-confrontational but still don’t mess with me Housewife archetype, and that describes Princess Carole. An underrated Housewife IMO, Carole could hang in there with the heavy hitters like Bethenny and come out relatively unscathed, but she could also stay out of the drama while providing humourous commentary. Her personal backstory as a widow was also very interesting to watch. If I’m going to be honest, Carole won me over when one of the first things she says on RHONY is “I don’t hate children. I just can’t stand when mothers get together and that’s all they talk about”. Iconic.

Can you believe it? Over four years, I have finally finished all of Bravo‘s Real Housewives cities! (Excluding RHODC, but that has one season so it doesn’t really count.) I won’t know what to do with my spare time anymore! Someone send help!

– by the Black Widow

The Housewives of Salt Lake City: Ranked

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May the Housewives gods be with me while I rank these unhinged women.

I only just realised that I haven’t ranked the Salt Lake City wives because I’ve been watching live since the beginning and didn’t do a full binge of the franchise like I have the other cities. While we are currently in the middle of a raging season four, I thought ‘why not rank them now?’

As it is, Real Housewives of Salt Lake City is the tenth installation of Bravo’s ever popular Real Housewives franchise, and is widely considered to be the most chaotic. Sometimes it looks like these women get along and have great friendships, and the next thing you know, they’re attacking each other like savages.

As of writing, there have only been nine full-time housewives featured on RHOSLC. It is still in its early years, of course, so it’s to be expected.

Strap in for a short but wild ride as I rank these unhinged Utah wives!

9. Jennie Nguyen
This should come as no shocker to any fans of the franchise, but what disappoints me the most is I had such high hopes for Jennie at the beginning of the season. I always love seeing diversity, and seeing the franchise’s first Asian housewife in season 2 was very refreshing, but then her disgusting views were outed, and she plummeted to the very bottom of this list.

8. Heather Gay
Bravo seemed to have pegged Heather as the poster girl for RHOSLC at the very beginning, and I cannot understand why. She’s phony as all hell, two-faced to the people she claims to be her friend, allows herself to be a doormat for bully Jen, and is stuck in the high school days of yearning to be accepted by the popular girls. Plus, her self-deprecating humour is just overcompensating for the fact that she is extremely unlikeable. I really don’t have anything nice to say about her tbh.

7. Jen Shah
Jen is the first Pacific Islander representation in all of the Housewives franchises which was really nice for me to see. And that’s where my compliments for this woman end. She is a literal convicted criminal, and during her time on the show, was nothing more than a malicious, jealous and manipulative shell of a woman who used erratic outbursts for attention. I never want to see this woman on a Bravo show ever again.

6. Meredith Marks
Meredith started out somewhat likeable, and her penchant for disengaging quickly became iconic. But this woman is out of her mind and deluded, and I can’t stand the way that she looks down at the floor when she’s trying to read someone or stir shit. At least look them in the eye if you’re going to drag them, hun.

5. Mary Cosby
Double standards in a housewife have never existed as hard as they do for Mary Cosby. Mary is eccentric, comes with a wild backstory, and has very funny one-liners, but because the other wives (excluding Whitney) are scared of how unpredictable she can be, she gets away with being rude, insufferable, and refusing to participate in activities with the other wives.

4. Monica Garcia
Monica serves as a breath of fresh air for the currently airing season 4 of RHOSLC. Beautiful, sassy, unashamed of her past, and not scared to fight against her richer counterparts, Monica has already proven to be a great addition to the show. I wish she’d just ease up on the fighting with Lisa though.

3. Angie Katsanevas
After a very successful debut as a FOH in season three, this Greek beauty snatched her snowflake for season four and has already shown to be a great housewife. Messy, shady, serving personal drama, and appearing to be ready to read a bitch at any given time, Angie quickly shoots to (almost) the top of my list.

2. Whitney Rose
Whitney is easily one of the most stunning housewives across all the franchises, but what I love about her most is that she is as beautiful as she is messy. Never scared to stir the pot, or carry some bones, Whitney has proven to be a necessary cog in the wheel that is RHOSLC. We stan a sex positive queer ally Queen!

1. Lisa Barlow
I had picked Lisa to be my favourite during the first season of the show because she reminded me of my friend Charmaine, but then Lisa began showing more of her personality, and she’s basically the perfect housewife. She’s rich, not scared of getting into it, a bit of a pot stirrer, slightly deluded and unaware, and full of hilarious one liners and quips that are immediately iconic, Lisa Barlow takes the top spot for the Utah housewives.

Season four is already receiving rave reviews, and may be the Salt Lake wives’ best season since its inception. If you aren’t already watching this franchise, dare I suggest that you start watching it now. If only for Team Litney.

Happy watching, baby gorgeouses!

– by The Black Widow