First thing’s first, I’m an equalist.
I have given up on the term “feminist“. I’ve now decided that I will label myself as an “equalist” because that is exactly what I want; total equality in all human beings.
Sure, women have it hard in the world where they aren’t afforded the same opportunities as men in some circumstances because of their gender – which is total bullshit – but, as liberal as a human being as I am, men have it hard as well in a different way than women do.
This is where the double standards issue comes in.
Take this picture I saw floating on Facebook recently; in the top half is a cartoon of a regular bloke talking to a heavyset woman, and the man says “Sorry, I prefer to date thinner women,” and there are a bunch of girls in the background saying “BOOO! Typical man!” and “Every woman is beautiful, no matter the shape” and other such things.
In the bottom half, however, is a shorter guy talking to a taller woman, and the woman says “Sorry, I prefer to date taller men”, and the same bunch of girls in the background are saying “Yeah! You tell him girl!” and “I prefer dating taller men as well!”
What makes it okay for a woman to dictate how she would like her man but all of a sudden it’s wrong for a man to do so? Fair enough, most women would not want to be called fat. But most men wouldn’t want to be called short. Men can’t help their height as much as women can’t help their weight (most of the time).
It’s not even just genders that suffer from this.
Take Meghan Trainor’s All About That Bass song (pictured above), where she’s basically singing about how large she is and she’s happy with it. Good on her. But the issue I have is when she says “I’m bringing booty back, go ahead and tell them skinny bitches that.” How is that meant to be empowering to women? What if those “skinny bitches” were actually very lovely women and the men that they have loved them for their great personality and/or gentle soul instead of being “skinny”?
And to put it doubly into perspective, swap the roles around: if a thinner woman, Selena Gomez for example, were to sing a song saying “I love being so thin, tell those fat bitches to back off my man”, shit would be thrown at her something chronic for criticising bigger women. Yet, it’s totally okay to criticise thinner women.
If you want a male example of double standards, then I have one for you.
Gay men and straight men. A gay man says that he doesn’t like a straight man for whatever reason, and I’m assuming most people would be like “Yeah, he doesn’t know what he’s missing out on” and “Good on you! Stand up for yourself!” A straight man says that he doesn’t like a gay man for whatever reason, people would be absolutely slamming him, calling him “homophobic” among other things. If that were true, that would also make the gay man “heterophobic”, wouldn’t it? Why isn’t the gay man criticised as much as the straight man?
The same could be said about black people and white people. Black people make a joke about white people, it’s generally okay. White people make a joke about black people, and you are automatically racist.
Now, I get it. I truly get it. The “minority” groups in these situations have it hard and have had it hard for a very long time and that shouldn’t be the case anymore. I get it. But if we’re striving for equality – and I mean truly striving for equality – then criticising the “majority” groups should not be okay. It isn’t okay.
All humans are born different, raised different, and grow up different. But they all deserve to be treated the same.
Get on the real side of this fight. Not the feminist side, or the misogynist side (if that’s the male form of feminism), or anything like that.
Be an equalist.
– by Noah La’ulu