Things that Twelvies say

You’ll either be disappointed or amused. Or both.

If you’re not familiar with the term, a “twelvie” is someone who is in that tween age group who think they’re teenagers who can do whatever they want, but really, they can’t. I’m sorry but if you still need your mother to pick you up from the shops, then you need to get off your high horse. Twelvies don’t have to be 12, they just need to be in that general ignorant era of tween.

Working in retail, you get to hear a lot of interesting stories from interesting people. I myself have experienced stories of love, marriage, break-up and even plain inappropriate (I really don’t want to know about your sex life. Please spare me the details.) Along with the good and funny stories, however, come the bad and plain WTF stories that generally come from those in the twelvy generation.

They are, they really are.

They are, they really are.

I wish I made up the following stories. I really wish I did. However, they are all true, and I have heard all of them while working in customer service.

Story #1
Two twelvy girls are walking around the store, being loud and generally ignorant of the other customers in the store. Moments later, they come to the counter; one girl has a top on sale for $10 and a bracelet for $1. Her friend loudly says – in that annoying, high-pitched valley girl voice, no less – “Oh my god, you’re SUCH a shopaholic!” I’m sorry, what?! She spent a total of $11… if that makes her a shopaholic, I have a life-threatening disease. Literally. A cotton top and a bracelet does a shopaholic not make. Geez.

Story #2
In similar fashion, two twelvy girls are gallavanting around the store talking loudly, their smartphones permanently glued to the palms of their hands. One squeals in delight and says: “Oh my god! Sam* snapchatted me last night. We’re getting pretty serious.” I’m not even kidding. Those words came out of a girl’s mouth. I must be getting “pretty serious” with all of my friends on Snapchat if that logic were to be true. One single snapchat does a relationship not make.
*Name made up because I don’t remember what that poor sucker’s name was.

Story #3
Again, two twelvy girls are walking around the store and they disappear into the change room with a few things. I’m back there cleaning up the store as one walks out wearing a cropped bustier top and a short black pencil skirt. Probably not the most age appropriate outfit, but she still looked nice nevertheless. Well, apparently she didn’t want to look nice, because she soon says – in that annoying, high-pitched valley girl voice – “Does this make me look like a sluuuut?” No. It gets better. Her friend looks her up and down and says “Yah!”, to which the first girl replies “Good!” She wants to look a slut? Good on you. Maybe just hold out a bit longer until you’re 18 at least and not attending primary school.

Story #4
As everyone who works in retail can understand, theft is a big thing to watch, and you can usually tell which ones are up to something (although some come as a surprise!) I had my eye on a bunch of young boys who had walked into the store with their bags, especially because they made a dash for the change room so suddenly. I followed them but made sure to make it discreet and stay out of eye sight. Well, turns out I was right, as one of them says “Do you reckon if I tax this that Jane** will think I’m cool?” Oh dear. Popping my head around the corner, I say “I’m sorry, what are you taxing?” to which the boys dropped whatever they were trying to steal and left the store immediately. If Jane thinks a boy who steals is cool, I’m worried for our country’s future.
**Also can’t remember this chick’s name.

Bonus content!
This didn’t come from a twelvy, but from a man who would’ve been older than me (21+). He was clearly going to Stereosonic and came to the counter with a tank top. I make small chat with him and scan the tank top, to which he says “Hey bro, do you reckon this tank top will rip easily?” Umm… I didn’t know what to say so I did that obviously-fake laugh and gave him his bad and sent him on his merry way.

If this is how the younger generation behave and think, I’m genuinely concerned for our future. All of our wellbeings depend on 12-year-olds who want to look like sluts and boys who think shoplifting is sexy.

Or this girl.

Uh oh.

– by Noah La’ulu

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