Roz3 by any other name…

Posted in Lifestyle by bngillies

It was my main man William Shakespeare who, through the romantic words of Juliet Capulet, said “What’s in a name?” For the lucky ones, their name has some kind of deeper meaning, or a poignant family connection. Blaire, for example, means ‘field of battle’ in old Scottish Gaelic and Nicole is Greek for ‘victory of the people.’ So yeah, I have a pretty cool name, except for when I stop to think about the pressure it puts on me to be some kind of super warrior princess…I wonder what Xena means and if she’d mind giving me a few arse-kicking lessons…

For some unfortunate people-children of celebrities and idiots- their names are as well thought out and deep as the lyrics to Friday.

No.

I respect the desire to avoid naming your kids John and Jane but there’s a line between unusual and downright insane. Just ask Moon Unit Zappa, North West or ‘K’ the little girl who was actually Christened Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii… Yeah. That happened.
Then of course there’s Prince Michael I, Prince Michael II (AKA ‘Blanket’) and Paris Michael Jackson. It astounds me that the genius behind Thriller, Billie Jean and basically every chart topper from 1964-1990 couldn’t come up with anything better than his own name.

I’ve always had a fascination with names but, after sitting in a McCafe and hearing a woman scream at her identical twins named, wait for it, Isabelle and Isabella, I finally cracked it. I instantly messaged a dear friend of mine who is equally as judgemental as me and lost my mind, venting about how some people shouldn’t be allowed to procreate because having a child means they’re going to name it something stupid (harsh, but we know I’m brutally honest). At some point during this rant, a solution to solve World Stupidity and the Employment Crisis came to me; we create a Government body whose sole job is to approve names with a two question interview process.

1. What do you intend to call your child?
If your answer is stupid, like Apple or Pilot Inspektor, you fail and cannot reproduce. If you are successful, you move on to question two.
2. How do you intend to spell the approved name?
If you’re going to pull a Kath & Kim and spell Tiffany ‘Typhphanniii’ you first get a slap, and then a fail.

It sounds harsh, I know, but I’m only trying to protect the next generation from the inevitable mockery that comes with being called Zowie Bowie, and a future of constantly being asked how to spell Jahzzmeine.

Lastly, I don’t give two shits about how many likes you get on Facebook- calling your kid Megatron or Voldemort is as cruel as it is stupid.

Tupac is a great name for a scrawny white guy…

Just remember: “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me…” unless that word is Kizziera or Loneoxx because there’s a fair amount of emotional hurt going on there.

– by Blaire Gillies

4Feb2014

Review: Hopeless

Posted in Entertainment by Nikki

I’m not trying to sound like a broken record a la the last book review I did, but I finally got around to finishing this wonderful novel that I had been in the middle of for a good month. Now that this novel is finished, I’ve realised that I need to do some serious book shopping!

Hopeless by Colleen Hoover details the life of 17-year-old Sky, an extremely sheltered young girl whose life is turned upside down when she meets Dean Holder, the resident bad boy with a bad reputation to match her, to be frank, slutty reputation… despite not being a slut.

This novel starts out pretty cruisy, until you get to the middle-ish of the novel where:

Never in my 21 years of reading novels have I read a book that escalated as quickly as Hopeless. What seemingly starts off as a typical teenage romance novel turned upside down on its head and did a Booker T spinaroonie because the drama that followed was so… dramatic. Without revealing too much, the drama was so good.

The storyline was so predictable that it was unpredictable, if that makes sense. I read it thinking “Oh yeah, and now this is going to happen and this is going to happen” and while some of my predictions were correct, most of them were so wrong that I felt the need to say sorry to Colleen Hoover. Colleen, if you’re reading this, please forgive me for doubting your excellent storyline abilities. The characters personalities were expressed well in the novel through the use of descriptive writing and the image of Dean Holder was clear in my head. COUGH Steve Grand.

The relationship between Sky and Dean was cute, albeit a bit clichè. Two unusually attractive teenagers with troubled pasts fall for each other and are completely in love after a month or two of being completely inseparable. Sky was a hit-or-miss with me; she was either really annoying and “Wah feel sorry for me” one minute and next, she was this funny, sassy spitfire who I found myself to really like. Dean Holder was perfect… almost too perfect. He was so swoon-worthy that I didn’t feel the need to swoon. He had his shining moments just like Sky, though, so I will praise him as a character.

Colleen Hoover’s use of language in this book was almost flawless. The action in the novel was impeccable and the use of imagery and other descriptions painted a clear picture in my head as I read this novel. I can no doubt see why this novel is so acclaimed and why it’s a New York Times bestseller – the author is great and the story is even better. The fact that nearly all the loose ends in this novel were tied together in a nifty little bow by the end of the story demands a round of applause for Hoover who really, in my sweet and humble opinion, knocked this one out of the park.

Solst-o-meter
Storyline: 9.0/10
Style of writing: 8.6/10
Overall: 8.8/10

I can guarantee you, whether you’re a romance reader or not, that this is definitely a must read. I was so wowed with the entire novel as a whole that I don’t know what to do with my life now that I’ve finished it. I can also guarantee you that you will not want to put this book back down once you’ve gotten into it. It is that damn good.

– by The Black Widow

1Feb2014

Bucking the Block

Posted in Lifestyle by bngillies

It’s finally time for me to admit it- Guys, I have Writer’s Block, an illness that is easily as serious and debilitating as the Man Flu or the Clone-Killing Nanovirus. Scratch that. This is way more serious.

In an effort to cure myself of this crippling ailment, I’ve spent the last month trawling the internet, reading as much as possible; everything from books and newspapers to the ingredients on the back of shampoo bottles in my shower (I don’t know what Methylisothiazolinone or chloromethylisothiazolinone are exactly, but apparently they’re bad for skin, or the ozone layer or something). I also spent a disgusting amount of time reading other people’s blogs, obnoxiously long Facebook statuses and tweets and in doing that discovered something: Writing is a lot like running.

The Tweeters of the world are sprinters: they cover a very short distance in a really quick time. Unlike those of us who tend to ramble on a bit, they have to get their point across in just 140 characters, including beginning, middle and end.

Then there are the Facebook Fanatics who answer ‘What’s on your mind?’ with not just one, but every single thought they had that day. These are the literary hurdlers – longer distances, more of a challenge and more pressure to make their words interesting without being boring or repetitive.

Then there’s us, the bloggers who devote entire days to writing lengthy, somewhat sassy posts about everything from split-legged jeans to the state of Australian politics. We are the marathon runners. The mentally-fit and fabulous distance writers who take a while to get to the finish line, but make the read worth-while (if I may say so myself).

And these people are the triathletes that make the rest of us look lazy…

I am hoping now that, having spent January wallowing in self pity, I am fully recovered and back in the writing game. Keep your fingers crossed for me though, guys. The last thing any of us want is a relapse!

– by Blaire Gillies (God it’s good to be writing that again. There’s nothing quite like the feeling of crossing the finish line!)

26Jan2014

Happy Straya Day mate!

Posted in Lifestyle by Nikki

I know our beloved country day is wrapping up but I still thought I’d get in and wish everyone on behalf of Solstice Satisfaction a solid Australia Day, even if you live in another country.

As SolSat is based in Australia and the team are located in different cities, I can happily say that we are the fortunate ones who get to live in this wonderful country where you can say what you want, believe what you want and so on and so forth. Unless you’re calling a cop “a pig”. That is an arrestable offence.

I sincerely hope you all had a beer or two, put on your best green and gold outfits – or red, white and blue outfits, as it were – and spent the day with loved ones. Just as a quick reminder to some who may have forgotten, here are some of the best things about being Australian:

What are some of the best things about being Australian…

[x] We are generally stereotyped as one of the most calm, collected and laidback cultures in the world. Why? Because we’re awesome, obviously.
[x] We have our own cool way of speaking English, called speaking “Strayan”. If you need a refresher on how to speak Strayan, we’ve got you covered.
[x] In Australia, we call mates “c-word that rhymes with punt” and we call c-word that rhymes with punts “mate”. Who else is cool enough to do that?
[x] Sprinting in thongs. If you can’t do it, you’re not Australian.
[x] We know that you do not actually cook shrimp on the barbie.
[x] Going to the shops in a daggy tank top, footy shorts and thongs, and it is completely socially acceptable.

Now to end this quick post, here are some of the few awesome Australia Day pictures I found on my Facebook timeline.