Top 10 Video Game Characters We Awkwardly Find Attractive

Video game characters – or characters that are fictional in any way COUGH COUGH – are just that: not real.

Yet for some odd reason, these animated game characters are attractive, whether it be for their appearance, looks, quirkyness or just all around badassness. Most preferably the last of the lot, because everyone loves a badass.

In no particular order, here are the top 10 video game characters that one shouldn’t be attracted to (because they’re not real) but is anyway:

10. Crimson Viper (Street Fighter series)
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I don’t know what is hotter about Crimson Viper – the fact that she has Eva Marie-esque long red hair or her techno suit that turns an otherwise ordinary sassy businesswoman into a spectacular fighter. Also, how sexy is the name “Crimson Viper”. I can assure you that if I ever met someone with that name over the phone, I would assume she’d be as badass as C. Viper here. Let’s also make a quick mention of how her breasts hang so casually from her otherwise conservative outfit. And her midriff which shows her well toned stomach.

9. Nathan Drake (Uncharted series)
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It shouldn’t take one long to realise why Nathan Drake is on this list; he is almost the quintessential male action hero. He’s tall, big, strong with rugged manly features, has an uncanny ability to stay alive even in the most dangerous situations, and a certain charm to him that would make even the most headstrong woman (or man) flutter their eyes. Can we also just take a second and appreciate his man scarf? Only Nathan Drake could pull something off like that.

8. Morrigan Aensland (Darkstalker series)
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If I told you to picture a succubus character, you would imagine a ghastly looking vampiric creature of the night. What you get in Darkstalkers, however, is Morrigan Aensland, who has more than her heart pouring out, if you know what I mean. Not that I’ve ever seen anyone with a light shade of green to their hair, but I think Morrigan pulls it off well, along with her bat-print leggings. Oh, and the bat wings growing out of her head. I bet you didn’t even notice that until now.

7. Joel (Last of Us)
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If there is one outstanding feature about this man’s man who resembles a more rugged, post-apocalyptic George Clooney, it’s his unwavering loyalty to his travelling companion Ellie. He is willing to put his life on the line for a little girl who he wouldn’t have known from a bar of soap previously, and is also willing to keep the zombiepocalypse going if it means keeping her alive. Don’t even get me started on when he refers to Ellie as “baby girl”. It hurts too much.

6. Juliet Starling (Lollipop Chainsaw)
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If you don’t find a zombie hunting cheerleader with a chainsaw as weapon of choice and a decapitated head as a boyfriend attractive, there must be something wrong with you. Juliet is everything a regular zombie hero isn’t: bright, happy and slightly naive. She makes up for her limited weaknesses with being ridiculously cute (“Don’t be racist against cows, Nick!”) and for filling out a high school cheerleader outfit so well.

5. Ellis (Left 4 Dead 2)
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My friend described Ellis’ looks very well when she compared him to Chace Crawford. Ellis isn’t the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree but his innocent view on the world combined with his boy-next-door good looks make him the ideal partner in any zombiepocalypse situation. Hell, even if there wasn’t a zombiepocalypse and you just wanted someone to hang out with – and stare at – Ellis is your man. How could you say no to that face?

4. Sonya Blade (Mortal Kombat series)
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Every man and same-gender-attracted female appreciates a good pair of legs on a woman. Imagine if that woman’s legs were so strong that she could pick someone up in a handstand and split their body in half. Well, the only woman I know who can do that is Sonya Blade, MK’s resident army brat. Not only could Sonya dazzle you with her all-American girl beauty and tight leather pants, she could also save your ass if you were cornered in a dark alley by a group of King hitters. And she could do it with just one blown kiss.

3. Norman Jayden (Heavy Rain)
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While others would argue that fellow Heavy Rain castmate Ethan Mars is more attractive, one can not look past Norman Jayden’s RIDICULOUSLY cute accent which makes it sound like he’s pronouncing his name “Nah-men”. He’s the cop you want on your side if you ever get in a pickle and you need someone to help you out. He’s also so dedicated to saving Ethan’s son that he’s willing to risk his life for it. What isn’t to love about a man who’s putting his life on the line for a kid he doesn’t know?

2. Lara Croft (Tomb Raider series)
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You cannot put “hot” and “video game character” in the same sentence without mentioning Lara Croft, who is arguably the world’s greatest female video game character. Lara is the original (and female version of) Nathan Drake: badass traveller with a knack of avoiding death and getting into mysterious locations and dangerous situations. I mean, come on, the girl learned to survive as a teenager all by herself, all the while keeping her tight body and beautiful British accent. And yes, one cannot go on without mentioning her large bust.

1. Chris Redfield (Resident Evil series)
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One usually thinks “I wish a man like Chris Redfield were real”. Well there’s no one even close. That’s how perfect this man is. He’s big, strong, loyal to his friends and family, a good charmer with a dedication to his work. He’s also willing to travel across the world to save his sister. And look at those biceps of his; I bet he could give the Hulk a run for his money when it comes to bench pressing. Chris is the right example of an action hero and is what all action heroes should aspire to be… and should aspire their chests and arms to be that big also.

If you’re all hot and flustered after reading that list, then you are now “one of us”. Welcome. We will treat you well.

– by The Black Widow

Review: Last of Us

Welcome to “Solstice Satisfaction in Review” or SS in Review for short. This is going to be my first review of any kind – video game, restaurant, music album – so go easy on me if it’s not up to the standard of IGN or anything. The first item to be Solstified…

The Last of Us, exclusive to Playstation 3 (SPOILER FREE!)

The Last of Us follows the adventures of Joel and Ellie.

The Last of Us follows the shenanigans of Joel and Ellie. (SOURCE: Forbes.com)

The Last of Us is a post-apocalyptic horror video game which details the adventures of Joel and Ellie, although the post-apocalypse in this game is very different to that of, say, the Resident Evil series.

The gameplay in this is simple enough for the casual gamer to pick up (such as me) pretty quickly but still not too simple for the intense gamers to be bored with. One of the main elements of the games action sequences is the choice of stealth vs. all-guns-blazing. In most of the action sequences, you have the choice of either sneaking around the enemies or barge in and gun them down with your array of weaponry. It adds a realistic element to the game when in a situation where your ammunition is limited, sometimes it’s best to avoid any confrontation when left with one bullet in a revolver and about 10 enemies waiting ahead of you.

The game in total will take hours for even the most expert gamer to complete and with even more special features like multiplayer awaiting (that I have yet to touch), it will undoubtedly entertain for ages.

What I found to be one of the most interesting parts about the gameplay was the special attention to small details. For example, in most video games, if you are playing a stealth mission, and you see a discarded newspaper on the floor, you wouldn’t think twice of it. In this game, however, you step on that newspaper and the papers will ruffle, therefore alerting the enemies of your location and breaking your stealth objective. I made this mistake several times unfortunately.

The graphics are high on the scale with, again, special attention to small details, like the greying hair in Joel’s beard or the worry you see in Ellie’s eyes sometimes. The visuals are almost realistic and it sucks you into the adventure of the game, making it feel real to the player. The views and scenery are absolutely breathtaking and so surreal – unless of course you are in a dark, underground area. The only nitpicks I can even remotely think of are the graphics and movement of Ellie’s hair but, let’s be frank, no video game designer wants to take 10 years of their life animating every single strand of hair.

The storyline in itself was captivating, so much that I found myself putting off finishing my college assignments so I could continue playing the game. Right from the get go, the intensity of the storyline grabs the player and it makes you wanting more, with several twists, turns and OMG! moments planting themselves throughout the game which elicited a fair few “Oh no you di-int”‘s from me. There were also several scares in the game which actually kept my heart racing which admittedly doesn’t happen a lot anymore these days.

The main feature of the game’s storyline that I found myself drawn to the most was the relationship between Joel and Ellie. I am an absolute gore lover with a special affection for the undead so it’d be weird for people like me to specifically comment on a sentimental part of the game like a relationship between two characters but it was without a doubt the most captivating element of Last of Us. Period. Without giving too much away, Joel and Ellie started off with a hesitant yet still friendly relationship which eventually developed into a sweet, father-daughter-like relationship whose bond was so noticeably strong that I could literally feel it. The moments where Joe would call Ellie “baby girl” specifically got me and I may or may not have shed a tear over that nickname. I actually forged a personal connection with both of the characters and that just goes to show you how excellent this game is.

Solst-o-meter
Gameplay: 9.0/10
Graphics: 9.2/10
Storyline: 9.6/10
Overall Experience: 9.8/10

All the hype behind this game is celestial for a reason – this game is the greatest video game I have played in quite some time, and one of the greatest video games I’ve played in my 20 year life… if you minus the first few years because babies don’t exactly play video games. Every aspect of the game was captivating in some way and while absolutely nothing is perfect, Last of Us was damn sure close to being so. If I fall into a funk after finishing a video game’s main storyline, then I know it was just that damn good. It is certainly a MUST have for current PS3 owners and definitely a reason for others to purchase a PS3 to specifically play this game.

I have to go cry some more now knowing that I’ve finished the game.

– by The Black Widow