You Know What Sh!ts Me?: Those Bloody Kardashians

Okay. I’ve cracked it. I’ve actually had enough.

If you avoid mainstream media for the same reason I’m about to rant about, then let me catch you up to speed on a story I’m absolutely sick of hearing: Kim Kardashian was robbed in an elaborate heist. That’s it. Nothing more needs to be said about it.

The one time this face will appear on my website... unless she does something else to piss me off. (SOURCE: Instagram: @fyonka240's Flickr photostream)

The one time this face will appear on my website… unless she does something else to piss me off. (SOURCE: Instagram: @fyonka240’s Flickr photostream)

Then why does mainstream media continue to obsess and update on this story? A chick got robbed. Big deal.

When I studied journalism, I learned the fundamentals of showbiz journalism: extraordinary things that happen to ordinary people, you report it. Ordinary things that happen to “extraordinary” people, you report it. Eg: a woman from Geelong saves thirty people from a house fire, you report it. If Khloe Kardashian sneezes, unfortunately, you report it.

I get it. That’s how the world works, and unfortunately, it’s true that some people do care about these “celebrities”. But when Kim Kardashian’s daily life takes precedence over the consistent devastation of a civil war in a foreign country, or a country having a sickeningly powerful control of propaganda within their jurisdiction, it gets a bit fucking ridiculous.

It’s sad that this stupid family’s reportings have tarnished my passion for journalism. I don’t want to get involved in an industry whose main interest is “OMG what did Kylie wear the other day?! Let’s find out!”

Personally – from my strong opinion – if you care about what this family does, you really need to check yourself before you wreck yourself. If you do care about what this family does, you have to take a look in the mirror and question the reflection staring back at you as to why you care so much about a PR contrived family who are about as real as the bleached blond hair on my head. If you do care about what this family does, then you are missing out on all of the great people out in the world who are actually contributing to society, rather than tarnishing it. If you do care about what this family does, you miss out on the stories that are actually changing the world that you currently live in.

I mean, wouldn’t it be rough if you were taken from your home by foreign soldiers because you missed World War III for a new fucking Kylie Jenner lip kit coming out.

As a lighthearted way of proving that there are so many stories out in the world that have way more importance than what Kourtney Kardashian is eating, I’m going to compile several fake headlines and opening paragraphs of stories that fucking should take more importance than what the bloody Kardashians are up to.

Totally Fake But More Important than Kardashian-related Headlines

World War III breaks out, Australia considering joining
by Nikki Roivas

Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull may send Australian forces to join World War III.

Global aid foundations join forces to end world hunger
by Nikki Roivas

Several top charity organisations have come together to end world hunger, starting with tackling the poverty-stricken Sierra Leone.

Friendly dog smiles for the camera
by Nikki Roivas

A cheerful neighbourhood dog was caught smiling candidly for the camera.

Scientists discover that water is wet
by Nikki Roivas

Australian scientists have found through thorough research that water, also referred to as H2O, is wet.

Local under 8’s soccer team beat their rivals
by Nikki Roivas

The under 8’s South-Western Rouse Hill Pillowfluffers have beaten the North-Eastern Rouse Hill Vacuum Cleaners 2-0 in the quarter finals of the local tournament.

Glass of Fanta spilled on kitchen bench
by Nikki Roivas

A local man was horrified to discover he had accidentally spilled his glass of Fanta on his kitchen counter.


On a serious note, if you’re reading this and you find yourself obsessed with the daily happenings of the Kardashian/Jenner/West/East/South/Hudson/Maxwell/Oliviera/Valentine family, then I strongly suggest you veer away from your regular news sources COUGH DailymailPerezHiltonENewsOnline COUGH and read something a bit more heavy and deep, like Al Jazeera or even BBC WorldYou know, things that actually matter.

Or a story about a man spilling his glass of Fanta on his kitchen bench. Because I swear that is way more fucking important than Kim Kardashian being robbed and the thousands of follow up stories about it.

– by The Black Widow

My Digital World

Journalists have been wondering whether digital publishing may take over print publishing completely. According to a survey recently conducted, they have every right to wonder.

Is it time to say buh-bye to newspapers?

Is it time to say buh-bye to newspapers?

In a survey taken by Australians aged between 18 – 30 with a balance of males and females (conducted by yours truly), more than half chose digital publications over print publications. Some of the reasons that supported this choice ranged from being easier to read than print to appearing more eco-friendly than print. The majority of those in favour of digital publishing thought that digital publications were easier to access via their smartphones or tablets and it could be done in the comfort of their own home, while print required more effort to obtain.

“I feel like in today’s modern society, it is more easy to grab a hold of a story, like if you hear something from someone, you can just Google it and it (the answer) [will] be there for you,” 18-year-old Morgan Graves-Burnnand said.

Justine Crowley, freelance media/creative consultant and book publisher, believes online publishing is popular because it is “more flexible all round.”

“Online articles and books enjoy more longevity than their print counterparts,” she said.

While she is a big advocate of digital publishing, Justine doesn’t think that it will completely take over.

“Print will still have its place, although it is clearly evident that online publishing is increasing.

“There are many people who still prefer to read a print book and/or magazine, yet more and more of the mainstream media is also dominating its publishing efforts online,” she said.

One of the main benefits of digital publishing that I have noticed with SolSat, Justine hit the nail right on its rearing head.

“Writers and editors enjoy greater flexibility in terms of working hours, and if you make a mistake – no sweat, your article can simply be fixed and re-published in nearly all cases,” she said.

Ain’t that the truth.

Thirty-five per cent of those surveyed, however, believed that they benefit more from print than digital.

“I find it easier to concentrate while reading hard copies of things,” Jason Miller, 20, said.

Scott Bailey, the editor of Rugby League Player magazine, believes when people can actually feel the publication in their hands, they can be a part of it.

“It’s hard to immerse yourself in what you’re reading [in digital]. When you’ve got a magazine in your hand, you feel involved in it and you feel a part of it,” he said.

Scott thinks that one of the reasons more young people are turning to digital publications because it is cheaper.

“When you wake up in the morning and you want to check the news, your mobile phone’s right there.

“We’ve been brought up in the computer generation and we’re used to stuff on the screen,” he said.

Scott said digital will never completely take over “because there will always be a need for print.”

– by The Black Widow

Check out Justine’s profile here. (The woman is incredible)
Check out Rugby League Player’s Facebook page here.