Tag Archives: review

Review: Kingsman: The Secret Service

Posted in Entertainment, Movies by

I’ve paid to see this movie twice already so I should have a pretty clear idea of my reaction to it.

Before I begin this review, I’d just like to point out that last night and last Saturday night, I did the exact same thing: ate two lots of spring rolls and chocolate cake at Sushi Bay, and then watched Kingsman: The Secret Service, in that very order. The only difference is last night I was by myself. It wasn’t even out of choice either. Can you say bizarro?

Enough about my stellar social life… Kingsman: The Secret Service is a new British film starring Colin Firth, Samuel Jackson, Michael Caine and Taron Frotherton… oh I mean Egerton. The film puts Egerton in the role of Gary “Eggsy” Unwin (because we all know someone with the nickname Eggsy), a young charming-yet-aggressive Brit who is thrust into a world of secret missions and high-tech weaponry when he utters the words “Oxfords, not Brogues”. Under the tutelage of Harry Hart (played by Firth), can this juvenile delinquent turn into a proper British gentleman and, in turn, save the world?

Much kill. Many badass.

Much kill. Many badass.

I thought this movie was brilliant. It was funny, wild, explosive, violent and quite confronting in the right dosage. Egerton, who I would go out and say was relatively unknown before his first major film role, played his role spectacularly and I truly thought he was from that part of England, so I was surprised to find out that he’s actually Welsh and is a master of several accents. Colin Firth is Colin Firth, which in laman’s terms, means he was spectacular as per usual. I think all of the main characters were portrayed very well and I didn’t question any of the acting at any point of the film.

If I had to say something bad about the film, I’d have to say that the genre of the film had me confused at several points. It would be an action movie and then comedy elements would be introduced, making it an action-comedy. Not too farfetched. But then it would have very violent elements and the action-comedy turned into a slasher-action-comedy. And then the “happy” ending made it a slasher-action-comedy-porno. After I finished watching it the first time, I wasn’t sure whether this movie was done 100% seriously or it was made to take the piss on other spy-action movies.

Besides that, I thought the storyline was quite unique: the evil mastermind wasn’t that hateable and was actually quite adorable. His scheme to take over the world was one that I don’t think I’ve ever seen before and his method was unusual. The plot of the movie was quite easy to follow, although several things I didn’t understand the first time were made clear to me the second time, and the payoff was well worth it.

Wid-o-meter
Storyline: 8/10
Casting and acting: 8.4/10
Experience: 7.8/10
Overall: 8.2/10

I definitely recommend this movie to anyone who is a fan of either a comedy, action, slasher or even porno flick, if that’s your kinda thing. It’s great in all the right places and is definitely not one of those movies you walk out of thinking “OMG I can’t believe I wasted money on that ticket.”

Oh and Taron Egerton, if you by any chance are reading this, please e-mail us at widowslure@gmail.com. We love you.

– by The Black Widow

Review: A Private Affair

Posted in Books, Entertainment by

Note to the reader: this book isn’t about a holiday on the beach like the cover suggests. At all.

If you’ve picked up this book (like I did) with the guise that it’s about a bunch of girls who meet on a tropical holiday resort and talk about boys and get into all sorts of drunken shenanigans… you would be wrong. In fact, the cover could not be any more misleading.

A Private Affair by Lesley Lokko is actually a story that follows four very different women with one very big similarity: they have been army wives or girlfriends at one point in their life. Samantha Maitland, a no-nonsense business woman who grew from ugly duckling to beautiful swan meets a mysterious army man on her holiday; Meaghan Astor runs away from her abusive home and finds solace in the handsome Australian army man Tom; Abby Barclay who grew up in an army home, is now the perfect army wife; and Dani Kingsley-Safo, the young and stunning Sierra Leonean with a dark past regarding a mysterious army man.

Misleading, right?

Misleading, right?

I’ll start by saying that I’ve heard some pleasant things about Lokko and her writing so I was expecting pretty good things by this book, especially because it is a very thick read. However, I was pretty let down and I was pretty disappointed by this book in general.

Besides the fact the cover is misleading, I just thought some of the scenes in the book very irrelevant to the overall storyline of the novel. The flashbacks for all four characters were to set their story and describe the type of person that they are, and most of it did that, sure. But some of the scenes were just pointless and some stories were told for no ultimate reason.

Regarding the characters, the only character I really connected with was Meaghan and that was because she’s Australian. The closest character I even remotely felt something for was Nick Beasdale. I didn’t feel a single spark with any other main character and thought they were bland. Dani was annoying and I genuinely resented reading her parts of the story; Samantha was a pain in the arse and fell for a guy straight away because he looked at her; and Abby was a selfish mutt. I would like to say why, but it’ll spoil the story. But that’s just my opinion.e

This book was really hard to get into and it took me well over three months to finally put the book down and declare it finished. Granted, there were some saving graces about the book (Meaghan and Tom’s cute relationship anyone?) but I thought the novel overall was rather uninteresting. I will say that it did shed some interesting light on a topic I had no prior knowledge on but wish I did: being an army wife. I never imagined it’d be as difficult or as lonely as this book had described and sympathised with Meaghan and Abby as they would go days or sometimes months without seeing their better half. It also gave a brief insight onto what it’s like in the army, and that to me was pretty great.

Wid-o-meter
Storyline: 5/10
Style of writing: 5.2/10
Overall: 5.1/10

The misleading cover may have put this result to bed but the disappointing storyline put the nail on the coffin. Being my first Lokko book, it is sad to admit that this is my first impression of her. But, alas, like a good reader, I won’t let that stray me away from reading her other stuff.

– by The Black Widow

Review: Temptation

Posted in Books, Entertainment by

This just in: Alexis Summers is a dumb bitch. Hold on, I’m getting ahead of myself.

The latest novel to be reviewed by The Black Widow is an adult romance novel entitled Temptation by K.M. Golland, which is the first in a series. The premier novel in this series introduces the heroine named Alexis Summers, who is a married woman in her mid 30s with two kids. Sounds peachy, right? Well…

"If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.” - Johnny Depp

“If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn’t have fallen for the second.” – Johnny Depp

After nine years of being a stay-at-home mum, she’s happy to get back into the workforce as a hotel concierge in Melbourne, working for the typically drop dead gorgeous male protagonist, Bryce Clark. Sparks fly and Alexis is challenged: should she give into temptation – pun intended – or stick with her loving husband Rick?

Now, where was I? Oh right. Alexis is a dumb bitch.

I found the character of Alexis completely repugnant and I did not at any time throughout this novel ever sympathise with her whatsoever. She was hypocritical, annoying (almost as annoying as Ana from Fifty Shades, and that’s saying something) and just hella inappropriate. And she fell way too easily for Bryce. She literally sets eyes on him and is all like “OMG I LOVE YOU GET IN ME”. Girl bye.

On the other hand, however, I will say that I didn’t mind Bryce. After you’ve read as many raunchy adult novels as I have, the “attractive, wealthy and witty” male protagonist effect kind of wears off, but I still found Bryce quite likeable. There’s something about a man that knows what he wants kind of attractive, even if it is someone else’s wife. Hey, I’m not here to judge. Even though Alexis is a dumb bitch. Golland certainly wrote her characters pretty well.

In saying that, however, there were some scenes throughout the novel that I found really unnecessary. Some parts of the story weren’t actually germaine to the story, and that to me was a bit of a turn off. I will say that Golland did plant the seeds of a very interesting series and I will definitely be getting into the next crop once my skyscraper high pile of “books waiting to be read” dies down a bit. The language she used was very easy to read and it made for one of those books that you could read at the beach, in a bus or in the comfort of your own bed. I think I read the second half of the novel in one go and refused to put it down.

Wid-o-meter
Storyline: 7/10
Style of writing: 7/10
Overall: 7/10

If you’re looking to have your fancy tickled after having it chained and whipped by Fifty Shades, then I suggest you pick up this novel and the rest of the series. I’m sure it’ll tide you over for when the Fifty Shades film comes out on Valentine’s Day… or Anti-Valentine’s Day, if you’re like me.

– by The Black Widow

Review: Dorothy Must Die

Posted in Books, Entertainment by

I must give a warning: if you have a lovely, positive picture of Dorothy from the land of Oz in your head, I suggest you look away now. And don’t read this book.

Dorothy Must Die by Danielle Paige takes a whole new approach on the land of Oz – one that isn’t seen in the likes of The Wizard of Oz or the broadway musical Wicked – and tells the tale of ordinary Kansas girl Amy Gumm who, after sitting idly in her trailer, is blown away to the land of Oz.

Sounds familiar, don’t it?

Romeo, Dorothy... same thing.

Romeo, Dorothy… same thing.

The land of Oz that we know it isn’t exactly the same; for starters, the good guys are the bad guys and the bad guys are kinda good but not entirely heroic. Confused? Well, for example, Dorothy isn’t a cute braided little girl with a modest gingham dress and a dough-eyed look anymore; she’s, well, an evil witch to be blunt. And a bit of a ganga, if her description suggests so.

The fact that Paige explores this part of the story – “the other side of Oz” I guess you could say – is the first thing that drew me to this story, and boy did it live up to my expectations. This was one of those “I can hardly put you down” books and I kept reading on and on into the night. I believe I finished this novel in about two or three days and when I finally put it down, declaring it finished, it was well into the morning. The twists and turns – and the “oh no you didn’t” moments – surely made for a delightful story.

This novel was easy to follow and the descriptions that Paige used painted a pretty clear picture in my head. I could easily imagine Glenda waving her wand around, a sickly up-turned smile on her face courtesy of “perm-a-smile”, and I could see the evil-turned-good flying monkeys as if I had seen one casually in the past few days.

Paige’s own take on the characters from Amy’s perspective were interesting to say the least, and it was rather exciting to see how Dorothy’s three companions – the scarecrow, tin man and cowardly lion – turned out. There were a few characters introduced into the story that I wasn’t previously aware of so I’d be lying if I said I were interested in them; I was more curious to see how the characters I knew as a child turned out.

A part of the storyline I thought was a bit how ya goin’ was that Amy, an ordinary girl from Kansas, was all of a sudden trained into being this warrior trained with magic and other swordfighting. I know she was “the chosen one” and all of that, I just find it a bit difficult to grasp that fact. A transformation that quick and that random? Hmmm.

Wid-o-meter
Storyline: 8.2/10
Style of writing: 8/10
Overall: 8.1/10

This book wasn’t a let down from my expectations and I’m glad I “accidentally stumbled” into the book store and then “accidentally wandered around to look at a few books on the shelves”. I can’t wait to “accidentally buy the next installment of the series” to see what happens next in the land of Oz.

Amy vs. Dorothy. Round two. It’s on.

– by The Black Widow