Take Me On a Holidate!

That was for you, Luke Bracey.

I was sitting on the lounge watching yet another terribly terrific Christmas romcom and my friend walks out and says “What is it with you and these Christmas movies? They’re all the same!” To that, I say: let’s talk about Holidate.

Holidate stars Emma Roberts and Luke Bracey as Sloane and Jackson respectively. Sloane is irreparably single and still pining after her ex that left her for someone else, and Jackson is a fuckboi with commitment issues and a beautiful smile.

The two meet in a chance encounter (shocker!) and then after initially detesting each other (even bigger shocker!) they agree to be each other’s ‘holidate’ – the person they can bring as a date on holidays so their family and friends can stop bugging them about being single, because apparently there’s nothing worse than being single during a holiday (this is a stigma that I wish would disappear, but more on that later).

Luke Bracey is scratching his head in awe of my beauty. Emma Roberts is also pictured.

You know I love a good Christmas romcom so this post is going to be overwhelmingly positive.

The first thing I noticed about this film which became my most favourite thing about it (besides Luke Bracey’s fine ass) is how realistic it was. I understand that majority of Christmas movies are intended to be family friendly, so swearing or the slightest inclination of physical intimacy are forbidden, but let’s be honest: people swear, and they have sex. And this movie had that. Fuck, it was refreshing.

Again, I’m aware that movies like this always have a predictable ending, but that’s the appeal of Christmas romcoms; even though I’m not going to ‘spoil’ the ending for you, your first assumption is probably correct. But the journey on these movies are so fun, and this was a fun ass mf journey!

You had the stock standard meddling middle aged woman (Sloane’s mother); the ex and his physical upgrade; the potential love interest (Farooq); and of course, the extremely attractive male lead that appears in a random scene shirtless for no reason and makes guys and gals want to watch this movie.

Plus, how iconic is the finger scene?! (Probably not the fingering you’re thinking of)

I’m going to be honest: I’ve never been a big fan of Emma Roberts, and I can’t explain why. She’s not untalented, or unattractive, or difficult to watch, but I just haven’t really connected to her before. But she did a good job in this movie as the lonely girl who falls for the guy character. Sloane was made to be kind of quirky, but not too quirky so she doesn’t appear to be one of those ‘I’m not like other girls’ harpies.

If you haven’t gotten the hint already, I’m a big Luke Bracey fan. His looks aside, I’ll always have a soft spot for Aussie actors, and on top of that, he was also great in his role. But most importantly, he was believable in his role. I believed that he was a fuckboi douchebag in the beginning, and then I believed that he was this closet romantic by the end of the movie that wanted nothing more than a fairytale ending.

Also anything with Kristin Chenoweth in it is guaranteed to be a deadset ripper. Can’t say enough positive things about her. 10/10 superstar. Ugh. What a queen.

Generally speaking with Christmas romcoms, I’m a one and done kinda guy. Even though I love them so much, they don’t have the greatest replayability. But I would happily watch this movie again, and again, and again, until Luke Bracey figures out that he’s in love with me.

Just kidding. Sort of.

But seriously, cannot recommend this movie enough. If you have Netflix and have nothing productive to do, please do yourself a favour and watch it. And think of me when you see Luke Bracey with his pretty smile.

– by The Black Widow

Merry Christmas!


The swaggiest dog in Aus also wishes you a Merry Christmas!

The swaggiest dog in the world also wishes you a Merry Christmas!

The twelve magic days of Christmas are coming to a close. As I write this, Carols by Candlelight is playing on the TV and I’m onto my sixth piece of shortbread of the day. I’m hiding from my extended family in the front room of our house because I can’t handle having all twelve of us in the same room at the same time (even though I’ve downed a few Gin Lime twists and I’m breathing like a zen master).

For those of you who enjoy spending time with your families (that are no doubt a million times more normal than mine), I hope you make the most of this magical time together. To those of you whose families are out of town or overseas, I offer you this cliché; Home is where the heart is. And I mean this in two ways. Firstly, your family knows you love them and they know you’re thinking of them. You are no doubt with them in spirit this festive season. Secondly, your home can be with be with the friends and family you have chosen to be with this Christmas.

Now, it may be the last day of Christmas (for SolSat at least, tomorrow is technically the real last day), but I hope you all remember to keep the spirit of Christmas in your hearts throughout 2014. Being kind, generous and caring towards one another is so important and yet we so often let our busy lives and our own irritations get in the way of that. I know I’m guilty of that myself, but I have my fingers crossed that together, we the amazing readers and writers of Solstice Satisfaction can make the world just a little bit cheerier in the future!

With that said, for the twelfth day of Christmas I simply want to wish each and every one of you a very merry Christmas and a safe and happy new year. I’m taking a break from the blogosphere to enjoy this time with my family and allow my hands time to relax after typing like a mad-man for twelve days straight.

Thank you for your ongoing support and encouragement these last few months.

All my love to you and your families this Christmas,

Blaire xx

– by Blaire Gillies

Practical Presents

No, I’m not talking about another kitchen appliance or undies in the Christmas stocking; I’m talking about a First Aid kit specifically marketed for dealing with the classic Christmas injuries and ailments mentioned in yesterday’s post.


To prepare this gift (which is handmade, original and funny, so you’ve ticked all the boxes there) all you need is a hamper, some cellophane and a quick trip to Chemist Warehouse.

Breath mints – in anticipation of a Christmas kiss at your work break-up party.

Aspirin – for the Boxing Day hangover, or for the headache caused by being forced to watch the test match with people who inexplicably care about cricket.

Sunglasses – unfortunately, the sun is always brightest the morning after a big night.

Miniature Booze – hair of the dog. I recommend Tequila, but not everyone is a masochist.

Berocca – to help fight the aforementioned hangover and get help get back in to shape to start drinking again at lunch time.

Bacon – in my house, medicinal bacon is a thing and now that you’ve read this, it’ll no doubt be a thing at yours, too!

Gaviscon – because six helpings of roast and infinite dessert seemed like a great idea right up until it wasn’t anymore.

Band-aids – for the cuts and burns you got cooking your Xmas feast as well as the blisters you got dancing along with High-5 when watching Carols by Candlelight.

Arnica Cream – for the shiner your dad gave the seedy uncle for staring at your mother too long.

Ice Packs – for the genius who falls off the roof/step ladder/chair/back of the couch trying to decorate the house.

Aloe Vera gel – for the sunburn you got from falling asleep on the beach. White Christmas my arse.

A ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign – because Boxing Day shouldn’t start until midday; Grandmother’s just never seem to remember that rule.

An I.D bracelet with name, age, address, an emergency contact and blood type- for the drunken friend who feels that Christmas night is the appropriate time to rival Bear Grylls. They probably won’t make it past the mailbox, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.

So while you’re out doing all your last minute gift shopping, make sure to stock up on these Christmas essentials. That way, you know your gift will be used and appreciated rather than stuck in a drawer along with yet another Mariah Carey Christmas CD from Great Aunty Edna.

– by Blaire Gillies

Nine Lords A Leaping…

While we’re all busily exclaiming what a wonderful time of the year Christmas is, we tend to forget the all the bad things that happen in December, too. The injuries we get as we rush around like crazy people trying to make the season as magical as we can.

We all go a little nuts at Christmas. Stress mixes with joy mixes with alcohol mixes with the general vexation at having to spend time with our extended families and we start to make mistakes. In fact, if OH&S had a say in the matter, the nine lords wouldn’t be allowed to leap. They’d be allowed to walk slowly and carefully in an orderly line to avoid hurting themselves and/or others.


Christmas Dinner is possibly the most important meal of the year. We’re out roasting pork in the webber, prawns on the bbq and all manner of baked goods in the oven for dessert. It is almost impossible to escape this meal unscathed – each year we all gain burn scars (battle scars) as a reminder of what a wonderful dinner we managed to serve our family despite all the hot grease and sharp knives that tried to thwart us.

I know you’ll hate me for saying this, but you are not as strong as you think. The Christmas tree you chose is actually heavier than you think. Trying to lug it around yourself will cause a hernia.

Also, the tree is no doubt much taller than you. If you’re trying to get the star to sit perfectly on top, please use a step ladder. Standing on your tiptoes on top of a chair balanced on a phonebook is not as genius as you might think.

Did you know that there are people out there who are Professional Light Installation Specialists? Their job is to set up full-on scaffolding and harnesses to use while they decorate your house. Why? Because every year, more than 10,000 Australians get admitted to hospital with injuries sustained from falling off their roofs while they put up the lights. The last thing you want to be eating at Christmas is applesauce because you’ve had your shattered jaw pinned shut.

I don’t know the statistic for this one, but a lot of DIY Dads end up in strife when they try to ‘fix’ last year’s Christmas lights and wind up electrocuting themselves.

Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas in Aus without prawns on the barbie. Unfortunately, some novice chefs haven’t quite mastered seafood yet and wind up giving their family food poisoning for Christmas instead of a My Little Pony and a cricket set.

The number of booze-related injuries that happen over the Silly Season is astronomical. There is no limit to the hurt people inflict on themselves when they’re six or seven drink in. With that said, I warn against the obvious- don’t drink and drive. No matter how ‘fine’ you think you are, it’s not worth the risk.

Also, don’t run in heels, chop anything with a sharp knife, get in a bitch fight with your drunken Auntie, decide swimming would be a great idea at 2am, do table dancing or strip teases, wrestling,  lick anything you normally wouldn’t, jump of the roof because you’re “obviously Batman” or confess to your mother-in-law that, yes, her bum does look big… in everything.

Stay safe this Christmas!

– by Blaire Gillies