Author Archives: Nikki

You Know What Sh!ts Me?: Not Everything is “Glamorising”

Posted in Opinion, What Sh!ts Me by

This will all make sense by the end of this article.

It seems that nowadays one can’t do anything in the spotlight without someone having something negative to say about it. Kim Kardashian, for example – as much as I personally dislike her – cannot blink without someone attacking her on social media, calling her a range of insults from “fat” to “blimp-like hussy”. The unfortunate truth for a celebrity is that while they are relevant, they will always be attacked no matter what.

More recently, however, it seems that there are more and more complaints coming from individuals that seem to have absolutely no social or work life at all. These are the ones that criticise any movie, TV show, book or any other creative work for “glamorising” a bad issue.

Glamorising DVD covers since 2003. (SOURCE: Anna's Flickr photostream)

Glamorising DVD covers since 2003. (SOURCE: Anna’s Flickr photostream)

One of my recent favourite TV shows (that was criminally cut short) is Secret Diary of a Call Girl, featuring Billie Piper *COUGH* Rose Tyler *COUGH* as the main character, Hannah Baxter/Belle du Jour as an escort. It features her daily and nightly shenanigans as Hannah by day and Belle by night. Regardless, it is one hell of an entertaining show and one which I successfully referred to a friend who also loved the series.

What did the critics have to say about this? “Glamorising being a prostitute”.

Um. No.

Actually it is just showing the life of an escort in a witty and entertaining way… based on the real life of a real escort who kept her identity hidden from the world for so long probably for this very reason. A feminist who wrote for the Daily Mail stated that she couldn’t imagine that any escort would enter the profession out of free choice. Well, actually, I can; people were born and raised differently and are therefore very different from one another. While one enjoys having sex and getting paid for it, the other is equally content saving herself until marriage. And there is nothing wrong with either of them. Hello, if you wanted an example of “people being very different from one another”, just watch the show and you will see that some people even enjoy roleplaying as babies while someone else takes care of them as their parent/guardian.

Secret Diary of a Call Girl isn’t the only show to face this pointless, unnecessary fire from bored critics.

Breaking Bad? Glamorising meth.

Dexter? Glamorising serial killing.

Prisonbreak? Glamorising committing a crime and then breaking out of jail.

Fifty Shades of Grey? Glamorising rough S&M.

Stan by Eminem? Glamorising being a psycho-stalker fan and committing suicide.

A friend of mine, who was a big follower of the Breaking Bad TV series, clearly stated that if you properly watched the show, it would turn you off from doing meth. Oh really? And if not made apparent by the highly anti-climatic ending of Dexter, the show did not glamorise serial killing one bit. Just look at how royally fucked his life was because of his choice in alternative hobby.

To those people who think that every creative work has some ulterior motive to ruin today’s generation: buy some Kleenex or build a bridge.

Hell, you might as well say that Doctor Who is glamorising picking up your whole life and leaving with a mad man and his blue box, or that Pokemon is glamorising leaving your family at a young age to explore the world with creatures that speak their name.

This whole pointless glamorising has gotten on my last nerve.

My advice? Watch that TV series and enjoy it. Sit through that movie and enjoy it. Read that book and enjoy it. Listen to that album and enjoy it. But leave it at that. The artists in the world who put their blood, sweat and tears in these works are wasting their time if people are just going to complain and create problems that aren’t even there.

There. I said it.

– by The Black Widow

Dating Nikki: The “right time”

Posted in Dating Nikki, Lifestyle by

Dear Nikki,

I have been on a couple of dates with this guy that I really like. We’ve kissed and have had an enormous amount of chemistry. We’re going on our third date this weekend and I’m really nervous. I think he’s expecting us to have sex and I think it’d be best if I give it to him although I don’t think I’m ready. I’m worried he might leave me if I don’t give him what he wants. When do you think it is appropriate to have sex for a dating couple?  My friends have told me that having sex on the third date is “slutty” and that I should wait until I’m ready.

Please help!

Wishful Thinking Dater

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Dear Wishful Thinking Dater,

What is the “right time” to put out for a dating couple? To sum it up in five words: there is no right time.

Whenever you feel you’re ready to take that next step and give that part of you to him, go for it. Don’t feel pressured by him or your friends just because of what they will think of you regarding your decision. There is no set time limit for when you “have” to have sex. Don’t listen to all those sources that believe in the “second date rule” or even the “hold out until you’re married” rule. You do what is best for you. If you’re comfortable having sex on this third date, go for it. If you’d be more comfortable to have sex on the twentieth date, then do it on the twentieth date. Neither makes you slutty nor prudish; it just means you’re in charge of your body and you will do whatever the hell you want with it. Hell, people have sex on the first date, and that is perfectly okay. Everyone’s limits are different… no two human beings are the same!

If the bloke you’re seeing truly respects you and is ultimately the right man for you, he will respect your wishes and wait for whenever both of you are completely ready to take the plunge (sexual pun not intended at this time). If he tries to pressure you into doing things that you don’t want to, then dump his ass on the kerb because he ain’t the right man for you. Then again, he might not even be ready so you may be creating problems in your mind that aren’t even there.

Alternatively, if you are open-minded about doing some other raunchy things, set out some boundaries between you and your man if and when the time arises. By that, I don’t mean walk into your date and say “You can touch me down there with your fingers and that’s it… by the way, what’s for dinner?” When the situation gets hot and heavy, that’s when you bust out the limits. A true gentleman will respect that about you and will be more than happy to cater to your needs.

The moral of the story is this: you are in charge of your body and your womanly needs; not him, not your friends, not even good ol’ #DatingNoah here. Do it whenever you feel is right. When the right time comes along, I can assure you that your act of fornication will be that much more fantastic than if you did it when you weren’t too comfortable with your decision.

I hope this sets your mind at ease. Go out and have fun this weekend… and go the Broncos!

– by The Black Widow

If you have a question or need some good ol’ fashioned blunt advice from #DatingNikki, use the Contact page on our website and put in your comment “Subject: Dating Nikki” or alternatively send me an e-mail at widowslure@gmail.com and put “Dating Nikki” in the subject line. I will respond to your cries for help as soon as possible!

Review: Searching for Someday

Posted in Books, Entertainment by

I bought this book from my local Dymocks and then left it at work and assumed I had lost it and then began to throw a tantrum because I was looking forward to reading it that much. So did Searching for Someday worth the hype of throwing a tantrum over? Let’s find out!

The first of a new saucy series by Jennifer Probst. (SOURCE: Jennifer Probst's website)

The first of a new saucy series by Jennifer Probst. (SOURCE: Jennifer Probst’s website)

Searching for Someday by Jennifer Probst is the first of a series that follows the life of Kate, who may or may not be a witch. She has this “gift” from her ancestors that she can sense when two people are meant to be together just by touching them. Intense right? So she uses her powers for good and has started a matchmaking agency with her two friends. Kate is a beautiful virgin who keeps to herself and has no time for man, until Slade Montgomery walks in – the hot divorce lawyer who wants to take Kate’s matchmaking agency to the shedhouse for being a “scam”. A matchmaker and a divorce lawyer… sounds like a total mess, doesn’t it?

The storyline was okay. I wasn’t appalled by it but at the same time I wasn’t too enthralled by it (totes rhymed!) As most love and romance novels are easily predictable, I didn’t go into this book expecting much. But this story was so predictable that I pretty much didn’t have to finish it to figure out the ending, but at least the track towards the destination was great. The intense, erotic chemistry between Kate and Slade was interesting to read and their interactions were almost always entertaining. Their first kiss after that yoga session was… oh golly.

I am clearly an avid reader of adult romance novels and am very familiar with how a written sex scene goes. If a sex scene is done well, it comes off great and can even get the reader “in the mood”. If it isn’t written well, however, it comes off as dirty and trashy and it gives adult romance novels a bad name. One thing that I cannot stand in sex scenes is the use of the “p word” for vagina. Unfortunately for Probst, she used the “p word” freely during the intimate moments of the novel and it completely ruined the scene for me. I just think that there are so many words for vagina nowadays that you can use any one of them and still be better than the “p word”. If one word is going to be a let down in the novel – and warrant an entire paragraph in a book review – then that is saying something.

As a character, Kate was passable. She had her funny moments and she was easily relatable and likeable, especially with her ADORABLE dedication to her dog Robert, but other than that, she had the “typical romance book heroine” character to her – insecure, shy, unaware of how hot she is, etc. Slade’s character was also quite the romance book stereotype of being cocky, wealthy and arrogant but had the body of Adonis. I didn’t particularly love either one of them but they were both easily likeable so that’s definitely a plus.

Solst-o-meter
Storyline: 6.5/10
Style of writing: 6.5/10
Overall: 6.5/10

Searching for Someday is a solid read if you’re looking for a hot, steamy love affair between two polar opposite characters. If this is any indication of how the rest of the series will go, we should be in for a ride.

– by The Black Widow

Doctor Who from an Emotionally-Charged Whovian’s Perspective

Posted in Entertainment, TV by

Because I may or may not have a love affair with the Doctor.

I am an emotional person. There is no way I can deny that. I often think with my heart instead of my head and those decisions often lead to extraordinary consequences, whether that be good or bad. When I watch a TV series, I don’t just “watch” it, I get emotionally invested into the show and its characters. Doctor Who is no different; in fact, I’d go as far to say that I’ve never been so emotionally invested in a TV series as much as I have with Doctor Who.

That crazy brilliant man his blue box. (SOURCE: Rooners Toy Photography Flickr photostream)

That crazy brilliant man his blue box. (SOURCE: Rooners Toy Photography Flickr photostream)

My background with Doctor Who is different to most: I didn’t become a fully fledged Whovian until recent. Previously, I watched the “New Who” sporadically with my father; if it was on, we’d watch it. If it wasn’t, we wouldn’t go out of our way to get it. I knew that David Tennant was the Doctor and he had a beautiful companion named Martha Jones… who all of a sudden was replaced by Donna Noble. I knew Billie Piper was in the series but didn’t know her character’s name. After a little persuasion, I decided to re-watch “New Who” from season one episode one to get re-familiarised with the show that has captivated so many people. And now, I’m hooked for life.

I’ve always had difficulty verbally explaining to my friends just how strongly I feel for this TV series, so as a writer, I thought it’d be better to communicate through the written word. I laugh and I smile and I cry and I cower when I watch Doctor Who; the show is just capable of bringing so many emotions out of Whovians, and I think I’m the worst when it comes to it.

Take regenerations, for example: without fail, I have cried during every regeneration. Why? Because you put so much time and love into getting familiar with this incarnation of the Doctor but at the back of your mind you just know he will leave you when the going gets bad. You’ve become so attached to this incarnation of the Doctor that when he regenerates, it’s just like he’s leaving you and comes back with a new face and personality that you have to adapt to whether you like it or not. Quite literally, it’s a heartbreaking experience… and I’m aware that I may sound a bit insane right now but bear with me. I always feel rather indifferent and quite cold towards the newly regenerated Doctor, and it just takes time for me to warm up to him. Until the cycle starts again. Compare this to having a pet dog who all of a sudden is taken from you and is replaced by another breed of dog that you have to keep regardless. That’s how I feel when it comes to regeneration.

I laugh every time Amy Pond says something in her ridiculously adorable Scottish accent. I cried when Rose Tyler is revealed as the Bad Wolf and mutters “my Doctor”. I felt warm inside when the Doctor referred to Donna Noble as his “best friend”. I marked out when all of the Tenth Doctor’s companions reunited to save the world. Don’t even get me started on the Father’s Day episode.

Doctor Who is more than just a sci-fi show with an unnamed man of many faces who prefers the company of young, beautiful and otherwise “ordinary” women. It’s a show that explores every human feeling possible: it can make you laugh, it can make you cry, it can make you angry, it can even make you hide behind your chair. It’s a show that appeals to all, young and old, nerdy and non-nerdy, male and female. It tackles real life problems while having that special Doctor Who sass to it: unrequited love, heartbreak, loss of a loved one… all real issues that we as humans face every day.

Numbers are just numbers to most people, but the numbers 1-12 represent so much more to us. Five represents a kind and gentle soul with an unusual taste for jacket accessory. Nine represents a cool and collected sass. Eleven represents bow ties and fezzes.

If I’ve kept your attention for this long, I do suggest that you give the show a go if you haven’t already. But don’t say I didn’t warn you when your heart shatters in almost every episode of this worldwide phenomenon.

– by The Black Widow