The Bachelors of the Books

Posted in Books, Entertainment by Nikki

Since women (and men alike) were introduced to the devilishly handsome vampire Edward Cullen and “shutup you’re not really 18” heartthrob Jacob Black from the Twilight series, there has been a noticeable influx of paperback princes in romance novels with authors trying to create that perfect man for readers to swoon over. Insert GPOY here.

As a romance novel enthusiast, I’ve decided to list my top 6 “Bachelors of the Books”. These men, commonly referred to as “book boyfriends”, not only steal your heart but make you feel that love – because everyone deserves to be loved, even if it’s within the confinement of a novel. Brace yourself and get ready to swooooooooon.

NOTE: The images provided are pictures of men who I believe represent the character exceptionally or actors who have been cast as the character in movie adaptations of this book.

#6 Dean Holder (Hopeless by Colleen Hoover)

“Dean Holder? Messy brown hair? Smoldering blue eyes? A temper straight out of Fight Club?” This quote represents Mr. Dean Holder perfectly. Dean Holder has this captivating aura of confident swag about him – “You probably faked passing out the other day, just so you could be carried in my hot, sweaty, manly arms.” However, like most bad boys, he’s troubled. Women loooooove their troubled men. Here’s to thinking that Sky is one lucky, lucky gal.

#5 Daniel “Monty” Montgomery (Outback Dreams by Rachael Johns)

One of the best things about Outback Dreams was how close to home it was (on the other side of the country, but still). The best thing about it, however – and other readers could attest for this as well – was the character Monty. A true man’s man, this outback handyman knows what he wants and goes for it, regardless of the consequences, whether it be for his dream farm or for Faith Forrester’s heart. A couple of dick moves here and there, but hey, nobody’s perfect. He sure comes close to it though. What confuses me is this: how Faith could overlook Monty for so long is beyond me.

#4 Christian Grey (Fifty Shades Trilogy by EL James)

Everybody’s favourite bajillionaire BDSM dom enthusiast Christian Grey has won over a lot of hearts since Fifty Shades of Grey. The word “damaged” doesn’t even begin to describe how royally fucked Christian is: he’s cold, distant, controlling and unnecessarily possessive. Underneath all of that is a caring, gentle soul that is just in need of some tender lovin’ care. He’s got to be incredible for putting up with Anastasia for so long. He’s also totally baben, but that’s beside the point. I dare you to listen to Prelude in E Minor by Frédéric Chopin (a song he plays on the piano in the first book) and not feel how much pain he’s in. Jamie Dornan might be the new Christian Grey, but I still think Jessie Pavelka is my Christian.

#3 Bennett Ryan (Beautiful Bastard by Christina Lauren)

The title Beautiful Bastard describes Bennett Ryan to a tee – he’s beautiful, and he’s a deadset asshat bastard. Although, much like Chloe Mills, you couldn’t help but find the young CEO intriguing. Also a gajillionaire so early in his life, Bennett is the type of man that can irritate you one moment and have you wrapped around his little finger the next. His charm is almost outweighed by his arrogance. He’s spontaneous, he’s handsome, and he’s a horny prick. Stock up on underwear and avoid being alone with him in the stairwell… just kidding. Women would jump at the chance of a stairwell encounter with Bennett.

#2 Michael (Sundays at Tiffany’s by James Patterson)

Michael (only referred to as simply Michael) is a dream man – literally. Why? Because he’s imaginary. 9-year-old Jane Margaux (Claremont, if you watch the movie adaptation) needed a friend. Enter Michael, the handsome imaginary friend who knows everything about Jane – her hopes, her fears, her favourite dessert… you name it. Several years later and this imaginary heartthrob is back. Who doesn’t want a big, masculine man to walk you to and from work after giving you flowers? Michael is also willing to punch out his friend for disrespecting women – yeah, that happened. A little spoiler alert: Michael becomes real, so at least you can say you’ve fallen for a real book character, not an imaginary one.

#1 Travis Maddox (Beautiful Disaster and Walking Disaster by Jamie McGuire)

Travis Maddox is the right balance of sweet charm and rough badass. A panty-droppin’ player turned one-woman man, Travis is the whole package: he’s big, he’s strong, he’s got killer tatts, he rides a motorcycle and can also fight with the best of them. He’s also motivated and cunning and romantic and knows how to make a woman feel as if she’s the only one. Only Travis can make a nickname “Pidgeon” totally adorable. His never-give-up attitude is infectious and his need for cuddling makes him seem the ultimate gentle giant. If you want a man who is that dedicated to you that he gets your name tattooed on his arm, well, Travis is your man!

If you’re still alive after all that epic swoonage, I suggest you purchase all of these books from your nearest bookstore (preferably Dymocks because I love that place) and join the world in falling in love with fictitious men. It’s not as insane as it sounds.

The storylines aren’t bad either.

– by The Black Widow

21Oct2013

Review: Beautiful Bombshell

Posted in Books, Entertainment by Nikki

While I impatiently await the arrival of Beautiful Player, here’s a review for Beautiful Bombshell because the boys are back! #boysnightout #hangoverpart4

The boys are back in town!

Beautiful Bombshell – the fourth in the Beautiful series by Christina Lauren – features the two male protagonists (Bennett Ryan and Max Stella) from the previous books as they intend on going out for a wild night for Bennett’s bucks night (or stag night, as is called in North America apparently). Their night of manly fun with Will and Henry, however, is altered by the appearance of two sexy females.

You know how I said in Beautiful Bitch that the fiery, sexual chemistry between Bennett and Chloe had stagnated? And their personalities had been a bit watered down? Yes, well, that wasn’t the case in Bombshell and I absolutely loved it! Bossy Bennett and Sassy Chloe were back in full force! These were the characters I fell in love with! Max and Sara were as “adventurous” as they were in Stranger so just from the first two chapters of this novella, I could tell that this was going to be one erotic rollercoaster.

The storyline in this book wasn’t as enthralling as the storylines in the previous books, however, I was still hooked from start to finish in this humorous take of a bachelor’s bucks night. This is pretty much The Hangover in book form. The men are pissed and are up for a wild night of fun, starting at a seedy strip-and-other-erotic-adventures club. Nothing really major happened in the book really besides Bennett’s revelation at the end which I thought was a bit adorable. The events of the book, however, were hilarious that I would actually start giggling on the bus and then I would have to try and hide the fact that I was laughing in front of a gazillion other people.

The way the book was written was different than the previous books. Since the two characters featured in this book were Bennett and Max – both being of the XY chromosome – they both received their own fonts however their name was stated at the beginning so the reader knew who they were seeing as female font and male font couldn’t be used. I thought this was very interesting, and I’m not quite sure why. Either way, bananas are still yellow and apples are still red.

Bennett Ryan is probably one of my favourite fictitious characters – ever. Along with Michael from Sundays at Tiffany’s and Princess Peach. There are so many dimensions to him and his confident swagger is just amazing. He’s calm, he’s cool, he’s collected, he’s also a horny bastard who knows what he wants and how to get it. I haven’t had the same connection with Max Stella as I have with Bennett and I’m not sure whether that’s because he came second or because he isn’t as suave as Bennett. Although, Max is as multi-dimensional as Bennett so I can say that he isn’t a bland character.

Solst-o-meter
Storyline: 7.0/10
Style of writing: 8.2/10
Overall: 7.6/10

This was a more funny read than it was romantic and I like that they’ve introduced good humour into the series. Although this had plenty of passionate lovemaking and downright inappropriate fondling (here’s looking at you, Sara and Max), I would still recommend this book based on the comic factor. Poor Will, didn’t know what he was getting into. I have to praise Christina Lauren on their excellent work on the Beautiful series and I absolutely cannot wait for the next installment!

– by The Black Widow

18Oct2013

The F’n Worst GTA Onliners

Posted in Entertainment, Video Games by Nikki

So here I was, laying on my couch playing some GTA Online at the middle of the night because a) I couldn’t get to sleep and b) GTA Online is amazing. I’m doing a mission of stealing two cars from people who don’t defend their cars whatsoever and then you drive the cars to a location and Bobsuruncle. I had two partners on the mission. Sounds like a walk in the park, right? Well, tell that to my nitwit partners who drove off as if still playing in freemode and didn’t assist me in the slightest.

Summer says hello from the world of GTA Online!

After that dreadful altercation, I’ve decided to pinpoint and name the worst gamers to play GTA Online and describe just how irritating they are.

The Clueless Mission Partner
As described above in my terrible experience, the Clueless Mission Partner is the smartarse who will join your mission and do absolutely nothing to help you just so they can reap the exact same rewards you get for doing 100% of the work. That is the major issue I have with GTA Online – rewards are split in team deatchmatches depending on how much you contributed to the team which is fair enough. In missions, however, everyone gets the same money and experience points. So, unfortunately, if you are paired up with one of these morons, you’re just gonna have to bite your tongue and get on with the job – or you could run them over. That’d be acceptable, methinks.

The Obsessive Killer
Ah, the Obsessive Killer – the tool who goes around killing everyone for no reason other than to be a troll. Unfortunately the sad truth is that if you wanted to avoid the Obsessive Killer, you’d probably have to hide in the mountains or stake out at Sandy Shores because these losers tend to frequent GTA Online a lot. If one is chasing you and you try to take refuge in good ol’ Ponsonby’s, don’t worry – they’ll take advantage of a glitch and come in and gun you down for no reason. Alternatively, if they haven’t figured out the glitch, they will literally wait for you to walk out so they can gun you down or try and shoot you through the window. I have been a part of all three.

The Bounty Coward
What’s a good way to earn some quick money? Getting bounties. What makes it unnecessarily difficult, however, is when the person who has the bounty on their head hides out in their apartment and will literally stay in there for as long as necessary. Technically, one is allowed to do it but it really should be more frowned upon than it is. It’s annoying and slack to the players in the same session who want to make a quick buck. If you really think about it, you don’t really lose anything if you’re killed – unless you’re carrying loads of cash – so you really have nothing to lose if you give yourself up.

The Creepy Stalker
While these aren’t that frequently seen on GTA Online, I’ve had my fair share of run ins with them. These are the players that choose to follow you around for no reason – they won’t kill you at first, they just feel the need to be in your general presence. I once had a guy follow me for half an hour for no reason and after I killed him for his creepy behaviour, got into a helicopter and tried to gun me down. Don’t, people. Just don’t.

The Vengeful Moron
You kill another player, whether that be on purpose or by accident, and you drive off thinking nothing of it. Nekk minnit, that player is following you to get their revenge. And once is never good enough for this person. After they get their initial first kill, they’ll just keep following you and following you like a jealous ex who is out for blood. I will admit, I have participated in vengeful quests – only after someone found it necessary to kill me four times in a row.

The Trolling Thief
You get out of your personal car that cost you a gazillion dollars to upgrade and walk into your nearest Suburban to get some new threads. You walk outside with your new clothes and – oh look at that – your car has gone because someone thought it’d be funny to break into your car and drive off. I don’t even have words to describe these ones. Just no.

While all of these “characters” could be described as simply “trolls”, they are all guilty of making an MMORPG like GTA Online – which is probably one of the most fun MMORPG’s I’ve ever played – not fun. If you fit into one of these categories, please stop what you are doing and re-evaluate your life. There are far more important things in life to achieve. Thanks.

– by The Black Widow

14Oct2013

Review: Outback Dreams

Posted in Books, Entertainment by Nikki

I had the most interesting story in purchasing this book. Not really. I was without a phone and had to locate my brother in a huge mall the old fashioned way and, along the way, stopped by my new favourite store Dymocks. Giving up my mission to find him for just a second, I stumbled upon this read and seeing as I love anything country, bought it without really reading the blurb.

The story of Faith Forrester and Daniel “Monty” Montgomery.

Outback Dreams by Rachael Johns follows the lives of Faith Forrester and Daniel “Monty” Montgomery, two people who have been best friends since they were children. Faith is unsatisfied with her life – being single, having half a degree, slaving in the kitchen for her father and brother – and is looking to revitalise herself. Monty is working hard and striving for his dream – owning a farm of his own after being snatched from it so early in his life.

Oh. Em. Gee. Can I just first start this review by saying this is literally one of the best books I’ve read in a very, very, very long time? I couldn’t have become more involved in this story even if I wanted to. In what was supposed to be a quick casual read, I first opened the book and didn’t put it down until I was halfway through and I needed to go to sleep at 2 in the morning.

The storyline was one of the most interesting ones I’ve encountered recently. I loved the outback setting (#imalittlemorecountrythanthat) and it made me think of my childhood in Bathurst where everyone knew everyone and it was nice. The evolving relationship between Faith and Monty was absolutely contagious and I found myself emotionally invested in the love and relationship between the two. The inclusion of other characters such as Ruby made it all the more captivating and it thrust me as a reader into the town as if I knew everyone and I was there.

Faith as a character was a hit-or-miss with me. Sometimes I found her to be funny and quirky but to me, she had that “typical romance novel heroine” feel about her – pretty but she doesn’t know it, insecure, lacking confidence. After you’ve been through a lot of romance novels like I have, the mould gets a bit tiring after a while. Monty, on the other hand, filled the boots of charming cowboy perfectly. His conscientiousness to achieve his dreams was admirable and he was just too damn sweet!

The style of writing was different in that it was written entirely in third person but was done in a way that you still knew what both characters were thinking and what they felt. If you were in Faith’s perspective, the writing would match her thoughts, feelings and her daily tasks and if you were in Monty’s perspective, same jist. I found this third person kind of writing very refreshing and I think Rachael wrote it well, making me as a reader empathetic with both characters whilst keeping me out of their heads. It’s a hard task to accomplish but she nailed it.

Solst-o-meter
Storyline: 8.8/10
Style of writing: 8.4/10
Overall: 8.6/10

If there is a book you should go out and buy or borrow or steal or strip naked for, this is the one. Outback Dreams had the right mixture of sweet romance and comedy and sex in it and was, in my humble opinion, one of the best books I remember reading recently. If you’re a romance lover, or you just want a good read, SolSat DEFINITELY recommends picking up this one to perouse!

– by The Black Widow

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Category Archives: Entertainment

The Bachelors of the Books

Review: Beautiful Bombshell

The F’n Worst GTA Onliners

Review: Outback Dreams