Genuinely Good Children’s Television (Non-Cartoon Category)

It’s harsh truth time: we all have to admit to ourselves that not every show we watched as children were masterpieces; in fact, under the age of about eight we would watch any piece of fluoro-coloured crap that danced around on a screen in front of us. I was faced with this brutal reality after re-watching the first Power Rangers film, something I remember watching a bajillion times with my cousins and loving it. No surprise, it was a poo-poo platter of badness, and it made me feel sad for my tiny toddler brain.

Some shows and films should be left alone to stay a foggy but delightful memory of our childhoods, but I believe that a handful of shows we did watch aren’t just good for nostalgias sake, but good for their overall brilliance as television shows.

So here’s a short list of shows you should definitely not regret watching, and which I would recommend watching even now…

Round the Twist (1989-2001)
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This show was some sort of beautiful gift, from our childhood lord and saviour Paul Jennings, a genius with kid’s stories. His writing translated well onto the screen, producing tales of suspense, mystery, and utter craziness without scaring its young audience. But what I loved most was the true blue Aussie-ness of it all, from the accents and lingo down to the rugged beachside landscapes – something that stuck out in front of the other American programming during that time. And I’m gonna go ahead and give it extra points for a hella-catchy theme song.

Art Attack (1990-2007)
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Art Attack was a seamless integration of entertainment, education and creativity. There were so many things to love about it: Neil’s art space filled with over-sized paintbrushes, the funny ‘Head’ character with his silly accent, and of course the art itself was incredibly absorbing. The big birds-eye pictures Neil made out of different objects baffles me even now, and coupled with the really rad 90’s music it made it even more exciting. With this show both adults and children were entertained – and not solely for the allocated twenty minutes. I can’t even imagine the kind of devil child who wouldn’t want to ‘try it at home’ after watching this show, so the amusement dragged on way beyond the show itself. But apart from all that, Neil was a great host, and definitely deserves a round of applause – Because he wasn’t just a man who loved PVA glue, but one who loved to teach.

Tidbit: Neil went on to perform lead guitar in a British heavy metal band called Marseille.

Goosebumps (1995-1998)
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I feel like this show doesn’t even need a write-up. It was scary, very scary, so scary I still have nightmares marked with big, green, gooey G’s. What Goosebumps did was get their already horrifying stories, make them come to life on a screen and provide it to children who otherwise would not be allowed to watch horror films – which I think is a great thing. Everybody likes a good scare, especially children, and I for one don’t think they get scared enough. Shows like this serve as an avenue for a love of the horror genre and a transition into reading – But most of all it had living dummies and phantoms and monster blood that were poop-your-pants frightening, but at the same time harmless fun. It does warn you beforehand: “Viewer, beware, you’re in for a scare!”

Tidbit: Ryan Gosling starred in the episode Say Cheese and Die.

The Muppet Show (1976-1981)
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There’s just something about frantically shaking a frog puppet thats hilarious, and muppets had that down-pact. I always thought of this show as a children’s style SNL, or maybe a muppets style SNL? I’m actually still pretty confused about this show, because I could never tell if it was made primarily for adults or children, but either way I enjoyed watching it. When I talk to other people my age about it they show a certain disinterest, which I totally understand. It wouldn’t be the first pick on a rainy sunday afternoon, but solely based on its simple slapstick humour, cute and creepily-made hand puppets, and pun humour, I think Jim Henson did a damn fine job.

The Amanda Show (1999-2002)
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This was never one of my favourites, but when it was on and nothing else was I watched it anyway. But watching a few episodes now I’ve realised that ten year old me was an idiot – It is so fucking funny. Sure there are some regular segments that fall flat, but most of it was outrageously hilarious, and it poked fun at adults and teenagers alike. I think people tend to forget pre-drugs Amanda Bynes, which is a damn shame, because she had the acting abilities, facial expressions and accents of a great comedy actor.

 – by Josefina Huq

The Power of Music

Music is a powerful form of art which expresses the deepest emotions and thoughts that normal conversation wouldn’t be able to convey properly. Songs can invoke many emotions into the listener that wasn’t necessarily there before: joy, sadness, excitement, confidence.

My friend was telling me about this song he likes – Look After You by the Fray – so naturally I decided to have a gandy and see what was so great about it. Nekk minnit, drowning in my own tears. I don’t even understand what the song is about but listening to the chorus just tore me to shreds. Why? Listen to it for yourself. Maybe you’ll understand my pain.

The Fray... y u hrt mi 4?

The Fray… y u hrt mi 4?

Sometimes I can literally make myself cry just by thinking about a song that puts me into tears. A few of these songs include: Hurt by Christina AguileraOver You by Miranda LambertMan I Need by Jagwar MaHurt by Johnny Cash and Secret by Seal.

On the other hand, I also use music to make me feel more confident. If you see me strutting like I’m on a catwalk with headphones dangling out of my ears, I’m most likely listening to something upbeat with lyrics talking about how damn good looking I am – or even something slow and sexy, like Get What I Want by Bitter:Sweet.

How do songs have such an influence on our emotions?

Songs can make you sad for many reasons, for example: it may remind you of someone or something, or the lyrics relate to you and it just sends you into a catatonic state. I asked a couple of my friends what songs make them sad and this is what they responded with. Get your tissues ready.

Heaven 911 Remix – the little girl’s voice and what she says makes me think of my nonno. I cry every time I hear it.” – Bianca Mureddu

Dance With My Father Again – Luther Vandross… ’cause it was my grandpa’s song at his funeral.” – Ashton Leota

Evanescence – My Immortal. I honestly have no idea why it makes me sad but it does. Maybe my subconscious can relate to the lyrics?” – Jennifer Silk

Morning Has Broken by Cat Stevens, the song that was playing as my Nanna’s coffin was wheeled in at her funeral.” – Zac Pittas

Moments in Love by Art Noise. There’s something about this song that inspires a wide array of emotions in me. I guess it’s because it’s a song that I normally play when I’m reflecting.” – Nick Bryson

If we as humans allow music to have such power over us, surely music is more than just a bunch of people singing words to music. Right?

– by The Black Widow

Review: Fifty Shades Freed

The time for me has finally come… the end of the Fifty Shades trilogy. As always, when I finish a book or book series, it’s bittersweet – I’ve finally reached the ending and all the loose ends of the novel come together (hopefully, anyway) but that’s it. The story’s finished. I’m glad I finally found the spare time in my day to finish this book since I’ve been on it for a good month and a bit.

Bye bye Christian.

Bye bye Christian.

The final leg of Christian and Anastasia’s story arrives in the form of Fifty Shades Freed. As always, if you haven’t read the first two books and intend to, I implore you to read no further than this. The novel starts off with Christian and Anastasia being happily married – or as happily as one could be married to someone as irritating as Anastasia. The novel follows the dramatic rollercoaster their lives take as they live as man and wife.

My first strong initial thought on this novel’s plot was that it seemed like it wasn’t planned. Most of the novel read slow and then voila! Action just springs out of nowhere. And then it goes back to its slow state. It’s as if the author was like “Hmm… nothing interesting has happened… let me chuck in a dramatic twist in the plot to keep readers entertained!” Those were my thoughts anyway. I would imagine an author like EL James had thoroughly planned out the final book in the trilogy.

Can I just say that the epilogue of the novel is adorable? Well, not the first part of it but the rest is #totesadorbs.

Christian and Ana’s relationship is sweet and unconventional. Yes, we get it. Christian loves Ana. Yes, we get it. Until the end of the book, nothing new had developed in their relationship and we were treated with the usual dialogue of “Ermahgerd, my Fifty Shades, my sweet Fifty Shades, I love you, why don’t you believe me?” The interactions between the two characters were so repetitive that it felt like deja vu. Luckily, in a form of saving grace, the storyline picked up by the end of the book and I saw some spark in Christian and he became… human. But Anastasia is still annoying. Nothing will ever save that. Ana, her subconscious and her inner goddess need to, like, leave.

I also felt as if some issues weren’t totally resolved… like Ethan and Mia? What happened with them? I know that Ana took note of them “holding hands” at one point, but then that was it. No further explanation. They could be in love just as much as they could be in their own S&M agreement.

The style of writing was the same. Not impressive but not bad either, with little tidbits of descriptive gold hiding in certain chapters of the book. One thing I thought was good and bad at the same time was the way. Sentences would. Read. Like this. I get that it adds dramatic effect and it makes you feel that Anastasia is, in fact, human, and humans do not think in grammatically correct sentences; at the same time, it got a bit tedious at times and it hurt my eyes. Only a slight exaggeration.

Solst-o-meter:
Storyline: 6.6/10
Style of writing: 6.0/10
Overall:  6.4/10

It was a decent ending but it wasn’t “ERMAHGERD HOW WILL I LIVE WITHOUT FIFTY SHADES IN MY LIFE” amazing. At least it gave me closure on their relationship with the beautiful epilogue and I feel as if I can move on with my own life without having that constant need of Fifty Shades in my life. Thanks for the wild ride, EL James.

– by The Black Widow

This is a Man’s World

The video game world has seen their fair share of big, masculine XY heroes – Dante, Nathan Drake, Ryu – and that has been the status quo since video games were invented. Recently, however, the females are stepping up their game and a number of smart, sexy and strong women have emerged, telling their male counterparts that it’s their time. These femme fatales have been in a male dominated series and have broken out of their shells to tell the world “I am woman, hear me roar!”

Princess Peach
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A classic example of this is our good friend Super Mario. He has spent the majority of his life saving his lady friend Princess Peach from the evil-yet-adorable Bowser (who I am guessing just wants some TLC). Countless times, he has saved her Highness from many o’ bad predicaments. However, there was one time in a game only available on Nintendo DS, that Mario himself was kidnapped and the many toadstool heads turned in confusion – who is going to save the saviour? Princess Peach, of course! Introducing Super Princess Peach, the game where the roles are reversed and now it’s time for the blue-eyed blonde to carry her weight. Let’s not forget that she is good at nearly every sport possible (refer to every Mario sport game made).

Madison Paige
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In what I believe could very well be the greatest video game ever made, Heavy Rain was filled with drama and action and more drama and more action and even the occasional nude scene. The main playable cast consisted of three men: a wayward father, a junky cop, a troubled detective – and this woman. Madison Paige, a photojournalist who was so enthralled by Ethan’s odd lifestyle that she just threw herself into this potentially life-ending situation. A tiny spoiler on my behalf if you haven’t already played through this amazing game, in my opinion, Madison is the most crucial character to keep alive for the grand finale. If you don’t know what I mean, play the game. You will be amazed. You go girl!

Mai Valentine
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While not technically a video game, the Yu-Gi-Oh! series has had video games developed, therefore I feel justified in mentioning Miss Mai Valentine. With a punny name like that, you’d expect a harmless, romantic foil for the main hero. That is not the case. Mai Valentine is the very definition of femme fatale – she works alone, remains one of the top duelists in the anime world and she also likes to wear not much. She hasn’t made it to the top, yes, but she’s definitely hanging in there with the men in the duelling world. Props to you, girlfriend.

Sonya Blade
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We all know that Sonya was originally intended to be a male but at the last second, the video game designers decided to girlify the character up. Enter Sonya Blade, the badass army babe in search of a freaky half-cyborg Aussie accent freak. While her original Mortal Kombat outfit was pretty much a tragedy-on-a-train, Sonya was the original female of the series and competed in a tournament with other men and mythical creatures. The all American girl-next-door surely deserves some cred for that reason alone. How did she choose to finish these suckers off? By blowing a kiss that turned into a fireball of course. Sonya was dropped in Mortal Kombat II, but I blame the outfit for that one.

Chun Li
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Much like Miss Blade, Chun Li was the original female to enter a fighting video game series, although the fact that she was introduced in the second game and not the first like Sonya just makes her that tiny bit less cooler. Either way, “the strongest woman in the world” earned her moniker and wears it well, what with those massive thighs of hers and what not. Of course, your muscles would develop that much if you leaned on one leg whilst kicking with the other multiple times. Here’s to Chun Li for not only being a badass babe, but also for being a key character for button mashers like me!

These are just a few of the kickbutt female characters who live in male-dominated worlds and don’t even care. They’re strong multicultural women who don’t need no man.

– by The Black Widow