Christmas Bucket List

Erma Bombeck once said “there’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.” In many ways I agree with this statement. There is something beautiful about a child’s innocent belief in Santa and the goodness of people. Unfortunately, as we get older, many people become disenchanted with the holiday season.

I am most definitely not one of those people. It doesn’t bother me at all the Christmas decorations make their way into Supermarkets in October and I love hearing carols play on an endless loop throughout the city. Come December 1st I’m like a red and green hurricane that blasts around the place leaving presents and infectious joy in my wake.

To help those of you who are more Scrooge than St Nick, I have created a sort of ‘bucket list’ of things you’re never too old to at Christmas.

  1. Get your photo taken with Santa. Pretending, even if just for a moment, that you still believe in Santa goes a long way towards filling your heart with cheer.santa-vern-stan-1985-in-mall
  2. Buy and decorate a real Christmas Tree. Forget that the pragmatic side of you doesn’t want to vacuum up the dropped needles every other day, and focus only on the glorious smell of pine that’s infiltrated your house and your heart.Ways-to-Decorate-The-Christmas-Tree
  3. Go to your local ‘Carols by Candlelight.’ Eat, drink, sing and be merry. There is something very beautiful about kinder kids dressed as reindeer singing ‘We WISH you a MEry CHRIStmas!’ with emphasis in strange places.christmas-carols-ts
  4. Make a sandman. The fact that Christmas falls in the middle of the Aussie summer will not stop being sad. Half the Christmas carols we sing don’t make any sense in context (‘Walking in a Winterland’? No, you’re waking in a 45 degree heatwave).  So, even though we don’t get to make snowmen as kids, we can still go to the beach and make a pretty decent Sandman instead.1476677_10152078190509254_1880516485_n
  5. Go and look at the Christmas Lights. My favourite part of Christmas Eve as a kid was when my family would bundle into the car and drive around at night looking at all the light displays in our town. All the Dads in our street would compete to have the best display and it was such a beautiful tradition.72968490_5d4f550e0e
  6. Watch Love, Actually. For the ladies, there’s Liam Neeson and for the men there’s…well…Liam Neeson. I’m sure there’s a plot in there somewhere but I just keep getting distracted.images (6)

There are 364 other days in the year for us to be busy, stressed, workaholic, alcoholic nutcases, but on Christmas, we should forget everything but our families and allow our inner children to run rampant once more.

– by Blaire Gillies

Genuinely Good Children’s Television (Non-Cartoon Category)

It’s harsh truth time: we all have to admit to ourselves that not every show we watched as children were masterpieces; in fact, under the age of about eight we would watch any piece of fluoro-coloured crap that danced around on a screen in front of us. I was faced with this brutal reality after re-watching the first Power Rangers film, something I remember watching a bajillion times with my cousins and loving it. No surprise, it was a poo-poo platter of badness, and it made me feel sad for my tiny toddler brain.

Some shows and films should be left alone to stay a foggy but delightful memory of our childhoods, but I believe that a handful of shows we did watch aren’t just good for nostalgias sake, but good for their overall brilliance as television shows.

So here’s a short list of shows you should definitely not regret watching, and which I would recommend watching even now…

Round the Twist (1989-2001)
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This show was some sort of beautiful gift, from our childhood lord and saviour Paul Jennings, a genius with kid’s stories. His writing translated well onto the screen, producing tales of suspense, mystery, and utter craziness without scaring its young audience. But what I loved most was the true blue Aussie-ness of it all, from the accents and lingo down to the rugged beachside landscapes – something that stuck out in front of the other American programming during that time. And I’m gonna go ahead and give it extra points for a hella-catchy theme song.

Art Attack (1990-2007)
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Art Attack was a seamless integration of entertainment, education and creativity. There were so many things to love about it: Neil’s art space filled with over-sized paintbrushes, the funny ‘Head’ character with his silly accent, and of course the art itself was incredibly absorbing. The big birds-eye pictures Neil made out of different objects baffles me even now, and coupled with the really rad 90’s music it made it even more exciting. With this show both adults and children were entertained – and not solely for the allocated twenty minutes. I can’t even imagine the kind of devil child who wouldn’t want to ‘try it at home’ after watching this show, so the amusement dragged on way beyond the show itself. But apart from all that, Neil was a great host, and definitely deserves a round of applause – Because he wasn’t just a man who loved PVA glue, but one who loved to teach.

Tidbit: Neil went on to perform lead guitar in a British heavy metal band called Marseille.

Goosebumps (1995-1998)
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I feel like this show doesn’t even need a write-up. It was scary, very scary, so scary I still have nightmares marked with big, green, gooey G’s. What Goosebumps did was get their already horrifying stories, make them come to life on a screen and provide it to children who otherwise would not be allowed to watch horror films – which I think is a great thing. Everybody likes a good scare, especially children, and I for one don’t think they get scared enough. Shows like this serve as an avenue for a love of the horror genre and a transition into reading – But most of all it had living dummies and phantoms and monster blood that were poop-your-pants frightening, but at the same time harmless fun. It does warn you beforehand: “Viewer, beware, you’re in for a scare!”

Tidbit: Ryan Gosling starred in the episode Say Cheese and Die.

The Muppet Show (1976-1981)
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There’s just something about frantically shaking a frog puppet thats hilarious, and muppets had that down-pact. I always thought of this show as a children’s style SNL, or maybe a muppets style SNL? I’m actually still pretty confused about this show, because I could never tell if it was made primarily for adults or children, but either way I enjoyed watching it. When I talk to other people my age about it they show a certain disinterest, which I totally understand. It wouldn’t be the first pick on a rainy sunday afternoon, but solely based on its simple slapstick humour, cute and creepily-made hand puppets, and pun humour, I think Jim Henson did a damn fine job.

The Amanda Show (1999-2002)
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This was never one of my favourites, but when it was on and nothing else was I watched it anyway. But watching a few episodes now I’ve realised that ten year old me was an idiot – It is so fucking funny. Sure there are some regular segments that fall flat, but most of it was outrageously hilarious, and it poked fun at adults and teenagers alike. I think people tend to forget pre-drugs Amanda Bynes, which is a damn shame, because she had the acting abilities, facial expressions and accents of a great comedy actor.

 – by Josefina Huq

The Power of Music

Music is a powerful form of art which expresses the deepest emotions and thoughts that normal conversation wouldn’t be able to convey properly. Songs can invoke many emotions into the listener that wasn’t necessarily there before: joy, sadness, excitement, confidence.

My friend was telling me about this song he likes – Look After You by the Fray – so naturally I decided to have a gandy and see what was so great about it. Nekk minnit, drowning in my own tears. I don’t even understand what the song is about but listening to the chorus just tore me to shreds. Why? Listen to it for yourself. Maybe you’ll understand my pain.

The Fray... y u hrt mi 4?

The Fray… y u hrt mi 4?

Sometimes I can literally make myself cry just by thinking about a song that puts me into tears. A few of these songs include: Hurt by Christina AguileraOver You by Miranda LambertMan I Need by Jagwar MaHurt by Johnny Cash and Secret by Seal.

On the other hand, I also use music to make me feel more confident. If you see me strutting like I’m on a catwalk with headphones dangling out of my ears, I’m most likely listening to something upbeat with lyrics talking about how damn good looking I am – or even something slow and sexy, like Get What I Want by Bitter:Sweet.

How do songs have such an influence on our emotions?

Songs can make you sad for many reasons, for example: it may remind you of someone or something, or the lyrics relate to you and it just sends you into a catatonic state. I asked a couple of my friends what songs make them sad and this is what they responded with. Get your tissues ready.

Heaven 911 Remix – the little girl’s voice and what she says makes me think of my nonno. I cry every time I hear it.” – Bianca Mureddu

Dance With My Father Again – Luther Vandross… ’cause it was my grandpa’s song at his funeral.” – Ashton Leota

Evanescence – My Immortal. I honestly have no idea why it makes me sad but it does. Maybe my subconscious can relate to the lyrics?” – Jennifer Silk

Morning Has Broken by Cat Stevens, the song that was playing as my Nanna’s coffin was wheeled in at her funeral.” – Zac Pittas

Moments in Love by Art Noise. There’s something about this song that inspires a wide array of emotions in me. I guess it’s because it’s a song that I normally play when I’m reflecting.” – Nick Bryson

If we as humans allow music to have such power over us, surely music is more than just a bunch of people singing words to music. Right?

– by The Black Widow

Review: Fifty Shades Freed

The time for me has finally come… the end of the Fifty Shades trilogy. As always, when I finish a book or book series, it’s bittersweet – I’ve finally reached the ending and all the loose ends of the novel come together (hopefully, anyway) but that’s it. The story’s finished. I’m glad I finally found the spare time in my day to finish this book since I’ve been on it for a good month and a bit.

Bye bye Christian.

Bye bye Christian.

The final leg of Christian and Anastasia’s story arrives in the form of Fifty Shades Freed. As always, if you haven’t read the first two books and intend to, I implore you to read no further than this. The novel starts off with Christian and Anastasia being happily married – or as happily as one could be married to someone as irritating as Anastasia. The novel follows the dramatic rollercoaster their lives take as they live as man and wife.

My first strong initial thought on this novel’s plot was that it seemed like it wasn’t planned. Most of the novel read slow and then voila! Action just springs out of nowhere. And then it goes back to its slow state. It’s as if the author was like “Hmm… nothing interesting has happened… let me chuck in a dramatic twist in the plot to keep readers entertained!” Those were my thoughts anyway. I would imagine an author like EL James had thoroughly planned out the final book in the trilogy.

Can I just say that the epilogue of the novel is adorable? Well, not the first part of it but the rest is #totesadorbs.

Christian and Ana’s relationship is sweet and unconventional. Yes, we get it. Christian loves Ana. Yes, we get it. Until the end of the book, nothing new had developed in their relationship and we were treated with the usual dialogue of “Ermahgerd, my Fifty Shades, my sweet Fifty Shades, I love you, why don’t you believe me?” The interactions between the two characters were so repetitive that it felt like deja vu. Luckily, in a form of saving grace, the storyline picked up by the end of the book and I saw some spark in Christian and he became… human. But Anastasia is still annoying. Nothing will ever save that. Ana, her subconscious and her inner goddess need to, like, leave.

I also felt as if some issues weren’t totally resolved… like Ethan and Mia? What happened with them? I know that Ana took note of them “holding hands” at one point, but then that was it. No further explanation. They could be in love just as much as they could be in their own S&M agreement.

The style of writing was the same. Not impressive but not bad either, with little tidbits of descriptive gold hiding in certain chapters of the book. One thing I thought was good and bad at the same time was the way. Sentences would. Read. Like this. I get that it adds dramatic effect and it makes you feel that Anastasia is, in fact, human, and humans do not think in grammatically correct sentences; at the same time, it got a bit tedious at times and it hurt my eyes. Only a slight exaggeration.

Solst-o-meter:
Storyline: 6.6/10
Style of writing: 6.0/10
Overall:  6.4/10

It was a decent ending but it wasn’t “ERMAHGERD HOW WILL I LIVE WITHOUT FIFTY SHADES IN MY LIFE” amazing. At least it gave me closure on their relationship with the beautiful epilogue and I feel as if I can move on with my own life without having that constant need of Fifty Shades in my life. Thanks for the wild ride, EL James.

– by The Black Widow