Category Archives: Sports

Tipping for Dummies: Round 1

Posted in Sports by

The 2014 NRL season starts tonight… and you know what that means: Tipping for Dummies is back!

Everybody's favourite Tipping for Dummies!

Everybody’s favourite Tipping for Dummies!

The opening round is sure to be a big one with several key matches taking place, perhaps none bigger than the first two.

Thursday March 6, 2014
South Sydney Rabbitohs vs. Sydney Roosters @ ANZ Stadium
Yes. This happened. Somehow, in the realm of possibility, these two were put together in the opening match of the opening round. The reigning premiers will start the defense of their title as they clash with their long-storied rivals, the Bunnies. One of the notable ins for this game is the Bunnies debut of veteran Lote Tuqiri.
SolSat’s prediction: Sydney Roosters
The Chookies have what, 98% of their premiership winning team playing in this opening game so quite solely based on that, the Chookies will win this one with a slight edge over their opponents. Don’t expect the Bunnies to go down without a fight, though.

Friday March 7, 2014
Canterbury Bulldogs vs. Brisbane Broncos @ ANZ Stadium
My boys will fly down to the state of cockroaches as they take on the Doggies in Friday Night Football. This is a key match for the Broncos as the debuting Ben Barba will collide with his former team in the big one for the first time. Bias aside, the Broncos have made key changes to their side as co-captain Cozza will play in the front row and Hoffman will play as five-eighth.
SolSat’s prediction: Brisbane Broncos
I am hoping for a Broncos win, of course, but I think with the new side – and the overall “refreshing” of the team – that the Broncos can take this one, much like they beat the Doggies in their last game for 2013. Minus the emotional farewell of Princey.

Saturday March 8, 2014
Penrith Panthers vs. Newcastle Knights @ Sportingbet Stadium
The start of Saturday footy sees the Panthers take on the Knights. The Panthers, like the Broncos, have had a reinvigoration of sorts, and part of this will be seen as new recruit Jamal Idris will start for Penrith despite a hamstring complaint. Michael Dobson will take over cutie Jarrod Mullen on the Knights side.
SolSat’s prediction: Newcastle Knights
My reason for this would be 80% intuition – I just feel as if the Knights have a better side, despite the omission of Knights playmaker Mullen. The newly formed Panthers side will put up a good fight and hopefully Idris will stay unharmed in this game.

Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles vs. Melbourne Storm @ Brookvale Oval
The 2013 runner-ups will face the favoured side of Melbourne Storm at Brooky Oval. The Eagles’ new recruits Josh Starling, Dunamis Lui and Cheyse Blair will make their debuts while the Storm are missing key player Cooper Cronk, who will be replaced by Ben Roberts.
SolSat’s prediction: Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles
Again, going mainly off intuition, the Sea Eagles have been the most consistently good team in recent NRL history so I see them one-upping the Storm in what is sure to be a bloody brilliant game of league. In the end, all league enthusiasts are the winners of this one.

North Queensland Cowboys vs. Canberra Raiders @ 1300 Smiles Stadium
I’m sorry, 1300 Smiles Stadium is the funniest name of a stadium I have ever come across. Regardless, the team ledy by smiling Thurston and brute Scott will face the Canberra Raiders who, to put it bluntly, had a terrible season in 2013. The Cowboys are coming off their big win at the Auckland Nines while the Raiders are hoping to win and get the ball rolling.
SolSat’s prediction: North Queensland Cowboys
The Cowboys are truly premier contenders this year and I expect to see a stellar performance from the Queensland side on Saturday. Anthony Milford, who is going to be a baby Bronco next year (hallelujah!) will put up a good fight but the Cowboys will be hard to stop.

Sunday March 9, 2014
St. George Illawarra Dragons vs. West Tigers @ ANZ Stadium
In what is kind of not a home game for either side, two of the bottom teams from 2013 will face off in the Sunday opener as the Dragons take on the Tigers. Key Dragon player Josh Dugan will be out while the Tigers will play for the first time without Benji Marshall in the big one.
SolSat’s prediction: West Tigers
This game is a tough one to call and to be honest, I’m a bit skeppers about my decision. Regardless, I am backing the Tigers to take this one out, largely due to the fact of Dugan missing play. Here’s to a good game regardless.

Parramatta Eels vs. New Zealand Warriors
The bottom-rung team in the Eels have re-formed themselves in a desperate attempt to not get the wooden spoon for another consecutive year. They, however, have the formidable task of defeating the Warriors in round one, who had a spectacular showing at the inaugural Auckland Nines.
SolSat’s prediction: New Zealand Warriors
With all due respect to the Eels, who I truly believe will have a better season this year with players like Will Hopoate, but the Warriors have shown that they are a side not to be taken lightly, and they will go on to defeat the Eels on Saturday in what will be a surprisingly great match.

Monday March 10, 2014
Cronulla Sharks vs. Gold Coast Titans
After a scandalous year, the Sharkies will look to regain some of their fandom this year and will do so when they take on the Titans in the round’s closing game. Todd Carney has been named for the Sharks despite a hamstring injury and his Titans counterpart Aidan Sezer will look to take advantage of that.
SolSat’s prediction: Gold Coast Titans
Go with me on this one, I actually believe that the Titans, much like the Broncos, will have a much better season this year. Sezer’s kicking game is unmatched and with the return of Beau Falloon, the Titans are my pick to win this one.

Not only is my beloved NRL back but I also get the privilege of meeting the Broncos after their game on Friday night. Tis the benefits of being a club member. I highly recommend becoming a member and supporting your club!

– by The Black Widow

Real Men Play Ice Hockey

Posted in Sports by

When it comes to sport, I am hardly an expert. When it comes to checking out athletic men and judging them according to quality of skill, manliness, face and beard (where applicable), I am pretty bloody good.

Manliness is important. It is for that reason that I must blatantly exclude golf, soccer and men’s synchronised diving from the list of sports you shouldn’t be embarrassed to play. But rather than name and shame the rest of the lame sports out there, I’ll just say this: Real men play Ice Hockey. A game of ice hockey isn’t over until each player is wearing at least a little bit of O-Neg on their jerseys and another player’s tooth on a leather cord around their neck like a trophy.

Sport in nine words....

Sport in ten words….

Now, I love AFL as much as the next Aussie/female who like to perv on fit men in shorts, but I still can’t deny the obvious superiority of Ice Hockey, which is basically 12 dudes in battle gear, armed with sticks, charging up the ice and wailing on each other. It’s the purest, most delightful display of absolute testosterone just short of actual combat.

First off, let’s talk about names. Everyone in in the AFL has got names like Steve and Gary, or affectionate nicknames like Chappy, Buddy, Pods and Swanny. Easy enough to remember, but if worse comes to worst, all anyone has to do is shout out “hey mate!” on the field and 21 other blokes turn around.
In Hockey, blokes with names like Smith and Jones are up against players whose surnames use all twenty-six letters of the alphabet twice over and a few letters they made up just for fun. Turns out Tjarnqvist and Balmochnykh aren’t lunchmeats- one played for Sweden and the other was a Mighty Duck.

Then there’s the real stuff. The stuff that separates the boys from the men and the men from the ice hockey players.

Verbal abuse and rough conduct.
Footballers get warning for a first offense, 15m pentalty for the second and then get sent off the field.
Hockey players get cheered on and then someone makes a film about it starring a young Rob Lowe.

Spear Tackling (Using one’s own body to throw an opponent to the ground).
In AFL this equates to an instant penalty for the other side and can lead to suspension for the guilty player.
In ice hockey, this is how two players say hello.

Skill.
Footballers have to be strong, fast, agile and disciplined.
Hockey players have to be strong, fast, agile, disciplined and coordinated enough to do it all on skates.

The Blood Rule.
In AFL, as soon as a single drop of blood is visible, you’re done. You get to stick a jumper on and let someone massage your calves inappropriately while you watch the action from the sidelines.
In hockey, the blood rule is an incentive. If you don’t bleed just a little bit, you’re not trying hard enough.

Injuries.
No football team can survive an entire season without causalities; concussions, dislocated shoulders, fractured eye sockets and more bung knees than your average old folks’ home. Everyone gets strapped up, wrapped up and rested up, missing half a season as they watch from the locker rooms…(with the exception of Jason Snell whose career-ending snapped femur is still talked about thirteen years later).
But unlike the footballers who go home in bubble-wrap, the Ice Hockey boys just keep playing. In 1964, Bob Baun broke his ankle in the third period of the Stanley Cup final, was removed from the rink and then returned in the overtime and scored the game winning goal.
In 2008, Richard Zednik had his carotid artery sliced open by a skate and nearly bled to death rink-side, hauntingly reminiscent of Clint Malarchuk’s near death experience in 1989 after having his jugular vein slashed by a skate.
Then of course there’s Johnny Boychuk of the Boston Bruins who  continued play with a broken nose, Mark How who suffered a femoral bleed in 1980, Bryan Berard who had seven eye surgeries and continued to play, despite being classified as blind and who could forget poor Nicklas Lidstrom from Detroit who ruptured a testicle during a game?

Then of course, there’s the Game Face.

868093-matthew-pavlich → 13 year into career- still has 32 original teeth
First day on ice- leaves with half as many teeth as he came with →first day on ice- leaves with half as many teeth as he came with

So all I’m saying is that after a lengthy career on the field, most footballers retire with minimal scarring, all their teeth and both testicles intact. Hockey players retire with more fingers than teeth, probably brain damage and one functioning nostril. If that’s not manly, then I don’t know what is.

– by Blaire Gillies

The Black Widow’s Bite of Life

Posted in Opinion, Sports by

Don’t let the heading fool you – this isn’t about the actual spider black widow (or me, for that matter).  No, this is in reference to the Black Widow of the WWE, AKA AJ Lee.

AJ_Natalya_nologo_original_crop_650

Don’t get caught in the Black Widow’s web…

Many wrestling critics have praised the crazy-ass woman for resurrecting the WWE women’s division and, to an extent, I have to agree with them; AJ Lee is probably the most over Diva since, I’d say, Kelly Kelly, and both women were popular with the crowd for two very different reasons. Kelly was the beautiful girl-next-door underdog that you couldn’t help but to root for (unless you’re an IWC troll) while AJ is just great at her craft and no matter heel or face, she will always be appreciated. It doesn’t hurt that she’s so down-to-earth and lovely out-of-character.

Women’s wrestling, especially in WWE, had been in a period of stale for a while. The fans were sick of seeing Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix at every PPV and it seemed as if creative had no fresh ideas for the smart, sexy and powerful women. And then AJ was knocked out cold by the Big Show. This was, in my opinion, when the Rise of AJ begun.

AJ began to show personality and flare when tensions between her and then on-screen boyfriend Daniel Bryan began to rise. Nekk minnit, she’s steamrolled over him, CM Punk, Kane, John Cena, Dolph Ziggler, Big E Langston and is now the Divas Champion and will probably break Maryse’s previous record for longest title reign with the Divas Championship.

Throughout her course of failed relationships and bad slut puns courtesy of Jerry Lawler, AJ was pushed to the stars, and she took the ball and ran with it. She has pulled off what would be a difficult character for your every day woman to successfully capture and made it almost a second skin to herself, and she’s shown that she is a damn good wrestler at the same time, creating some solid storylines and matches with the likes of Kaitlyn and Natalya.

Oh, and do you hear the pops she gets when she simply tags into a match? Incredible.

AJ is definitely the Diva of today, but is she the “sole” reason why the Divas division of today is as great as it is?

Yes and no.

With all due respect to Miss Lee, if WWE focused all of the attention they gave to her as they did to, say, Aksana, I’d guess that even Aksana would be as over as AJ Lee is. Aksana has a great character going for her at the moment and she has shown that she has enough charisma and personality to make it on her own, but what she didn’t have to push her to that next Diva level is the amount of push and air time that AJ had. So, in a sense, the success of AJ was bound to happen.

However, the Divas of WWE have been getting a lot more attention and a lot less ignorant “piss break” comments because of the hype the name “AJ Lee” carries. She is probably one of the few women in the WWE today that have a firmly established character that isn’t “happy babyface gal” or “snobby bitch heel”. That reason alone is why Miss AJ will probably hold the record for longest reign as Divas Champion. People tune in to see AJ and, dare I say, a lot less would tune in to see the Funkadactyls.

AJ Lee is currently sitting atop the mountain that is the WWE’s womens division, yes, but with new young and upcoming Divas like Paige and Summer Rae, I’d like to see her try and keep her throne away from the claws of these hungry Divas.

If I may say; AJ, watch out for Summer Rae. She’s over as hell and she hasn’t even hit her peak in WWE yet.

– by The Black Widow

Etiquette at a Rugby League Game

Posted in Sports by

It’s the NRL Grand Final. Your team is up by 14 points. There’s only 10 minutes to go. Just as your team spirit is running high, someone behind you spills their beer on your hair and attempts to start a fight with you.

Game over. Your high is ruined.

Don't be like this fat moron, please.

Don’t be like this fat moron, please.

For any sports fanatic, the atmosphere of a big league game mainly depends on your experience as a crowd spectator. If everyone is cheering and generally having a good time, there is a positive vibe floating around the audience setting a good mood amongst those in attendance.

There are times, however, when a select few people have too much fun, get a bit rowdy and ruin the atmosphere by causing disturbances and alcohol-fuelled brawls. The issues that affected the etiquette at league games range from people unlawfully accessing the field of play to throwing projectiles at the field and fighting amongst themselves.

South Sydney Rabbitohs fan and league enthusiast, 21-year-old Lara McKenzie, recalls an instance of aggression at a league game that extended to her 1-year-old son.

“Two drunken fans of the opposing team were cursing and such,” she said, “(they) were calling me a bad mother for dressing my son in Rabbitoh’s colours.”

Although incidents such as the streaker at the State of Origin 2013 decider do happen, which involved a naked man accessing the field in the last minutes of the game which halted a try and greatly interrupted play, the Security Manager for the Sydney Cricket Ground and Sports Ground Trust John O’grady said the crowd behaviour at Allianz Stadium has been good as of late.

“Our eviction rates for any particular offenders have been pretty low… might average 2 per match.

“We have zero tolerance for any offences committed in the venues.”

O’grady continued to say that most of these offences are generally alcohol related, whether that be from high intoxication or from unlawfully bringing alcohol in to the premises.

Compared to the crowd’s behaviour around 5 years ago, however, the etiquette at Allianz Stadium has improved according to O’grady and his staff.

“The evidence that I get from my (junior) supervisors (suggests) the crowd behaviour has essentially gotten much better,” he said.

If there were a scuffle between two or three people, it would be quite easy to ignore it and continue watching the game. However, if the scuffle involved a majority of the section, the same could not be said. These all-out melees are rare with the stricter enforcement placed in today’s society and at Allianz Stadium, O’grady says that he hasn’t encountered a situation that was out of control.

“You may have a brawl that involves 3 or 4 people but not something that occupies a whole bay. Any issue that escalates that’s probably a little bit beyond security level… police take over.

“In general terms, major incidents that cause any levels of consternation is pretty low.”

Here are a few tips on how to properly behave at an NRL game – or any sports match for that matter:
[x] You have the right to cheer as loud as you want for your team just as much as everyone else does. Starting a fight with someone just because they support the other team is petty and stupid.
[x] It’s Australian to sling back a beer or two at a footy game with a pie and chips. Just don’t drink too much that you have to be wheeled out by security.
[x] Don’t throw crap onto the field or insult/yell at the players. It’s really disrespectful to the game that you should love if you’re in attendance.
[x] Don’t streak, for god’s sake. My poor Matty Scott deserved that try.
[x] Lastly, do not wear cocktail dresses and hooker heels to footy games. You will look stupid.

It’s always important not to forget that there are people in the audience that want to watch a good game of rugby league being played. So remember: drink responsibly and keep any unnecessary comments to yourself that might incite hatred or violence.

Stay safe and go the Brisbane Broncos for 2014!

– by The Black Widow