Black Widow Predicts Wrestlemania 31

It’s my favourite time of the year! Even moreso than my birthday, Christmas, and the one night a girl gets to dress like a total slut and no one can say anything about it.

Introducing Wrestlemania 31, the first Wrestlemania pay-per-view I’ll get to watch on my WWE Network account (which you can get for just $9.99) and roughly my 13th Wrestlemania I’ve ordered and watched live. Aptly named the greatest spectacle of sports entertainment in the world, this year will see the WWE debut of legend Sting, the first championship bout for the ever-controversial Roman Reigns, and the Wrestlemania debut for the greatest thing to happen to women’s wrestling in years, Paige.

But seriously, why is Nikki Bella's face not on this poster?

But seriously, why is Nikki Bella’s face not on this poster?

In no particular order, here are my predictions for each of the matches:

Pre-show
Fatal 4-Way Tag Team Title Match
Tyson Kidd and Cesaro (C) (w/ Natalya) vs. The Usos (w/ Naomi) vs. Big E and Kofi Kingston (w/ Xavier Woods) vs. Los Matadores (w/ El Torito)
Winner: Tyson Kidd and Cesaro retain
I think this one’s a given. Kidd and Cesaro are the most technically sound tag team in recent years and all the momentum is going their way. Plus, I don’t see them dropping the titles soon. I’m going for a Natalya interference for the sneaky victory.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
AKA the match used as an excuse to make sure every superstar is on the card
Winner: Damien Mizdow… or Sandow, whatever he’s using
The stunt double gimmick has worked wonders for Sandow’s career and he’s made it into his thing. I see Sandow and The Miz as the last two in the ring and Miz ordering Sandow out, but Sandow swerves and eliminates him to a huge ovation from the crowd.

Main Card
Singles Match
Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins (w/ J&J Security)
Winner: Randy Orton
As much as I want Seth Rollins to win, I don’t see that happening. Randy Orton has come back with a vengeance and it’d make all the sense in the world for him to get his revenge by beating The Architect on the grandest stage of them all. Expect some backfired J&J Security interference.

7-man Ladder Match for the Intercontinental Championship
Bad News Barrett (C) vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Daniel Bryan vs. R-Truth vs. Stardust vs. Luke Harper
Winner: Daniel Bryan
So the man who turned last year’s Wrestlemania into HIS show has been “demoted” to an Intercontinental title match, but even still, I see Bryan winning this one. I mean, people can’t get enough of his Cinderella-ness and, well, I love him.

Divalicious Tag Team Match
The Bella Twins vs. Paige and AJ Lee
Winner: Paige and AJ Lee
There’s no secret that the Bellas are the backstage darlings of the WWE, and the face of the Divas division, but the outcasts sometimes known as PaiJ are the babyfaces and will come out victorious in this one. If recent reports of a changing Divas division are to be believed, expect a great match between the Fantastic Four.

Singles Match
Bray Wyatt vs. The Undertaker
Winner: The Undertaker
This one’s hard to call. I mean, I’m expecting an Undertaker win, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Undertaker lost to put over the “new face of fear” in Bray Wyatt. The streak’s already been broken so there’s no real breathtaking hype to this one. Undertaker to win via all his finishers… performed at least twice each.

Singles Match for the United States Championship
Rusev (C) w/ Lana vs. John Cena
Winner: John Cena
This one is too easy to call. Rusev’s never been pinned or submitted. John Cena is Superman. Superman will overcome the odds and be the first to pin Rusev or make him submit on the grandest stage of them all. I hope Lana’s there.

Singles Match
Sting vs. Triple H
Winner: Sting
Say what you want about Triple H, but he will put over a talent if he needs to (as made apparent against D Bryan), and expect him to do so again with Sting. Sting is an Icon (and I wish Cole would stop calling him the Vigilante), and in his first ever sanctioned WWE match, he’ll win. No question about it.

Singles Match for the World Heavyweight Championship
Brock Lesnar (C) w/ Paul Heyman vs. Roman Reigns
Winner: Brock Lesnar
If you asked me a week ago who I thought would take the win, I would’ve said Roman. Now that Brock has re-signed, I’m leaning more to the Lesnar side. I don’t think WWE are going to pul the trigger on Roman’s push right now, especially after the “lovely” reception he’s been getting from ignorant fans, so I expect a dominant Lesnar win here. SWERVE!! While Lesnar is down an out, Rollins cashes in and wins the World title. Brock takes a vacation and Rollins vs. Reigns is reborn!

Make sure you get work off, take the day off school or uni, or find a pub playing this event. You won’t wanna miss it!

– by Noah La’ulu

My Wrestlemania 30, according to TEW 2013

I have enough time to pretend to run a wrestling company and run this site. I must be Superman.

TEW 2013, or Total Extreme Wrestling 2013 for those of you who aren’t in the know, is a wrestling simulator where the player can choose to book or totally own his/her own wrestling company. At first, with the default database, players can choose from fictitious wrestling companies with cartoonified wrestling personalities.

If you download the right database, of course, then you can run (or pretend to run) real life companies such as WWE and TNA. Me? I’ve been a WWE guy all my life.

How would Wrestlemania 30 have turned out if main evented by Daniel Bryan and CM Punk? (SOURCE: Miguel Discart's Flickr photostream)

How would Wrestlemania 30 have turned out if main evented by Daniel Bryan and CM Punk? (SOURCE: Miguel Discart’s Flickr photostream)

We all know what happened at the REAL Wrestlemania 30 – Daniel Bryan beating Triple H and then going on to beat Randy Orton and Batista to become the underdog World Heavyweight Champ – but that wasn’t my Wrestlemania 30. In fact, while it had its similarities, it was far from my Wrestlemania 30.

Now, as a way to fill space on my website, I present to you… Noah’s Wrestlemania 30!

Wrestlemania 30 Match card (in order of appearance):
Pre-show
Eddie Edwards wins a 30-man over-the-top-rope battle royal in his debut match
The Bella Twins (Brie and Nikki) (c) defeated Aksana and Tamina to retain the WWE Divas Tag Team Championships
Davey Richards (w/ Satisfaction) defeated Alberto Del Rio and Mike Bennett (w/ Eva Marie) in a triple-threat match
Kaitlyn won a Divas Battle Royal

Main card
Match #1
Randy Orton w/ Stacy Keibler vs. Christian
Ever since costing him a World title opportunity, Christian has had it in for Randy Orton. The two men had embroiled in several unsanctioned brawls and beatdowns and they were finally given the chance to settle their differences at Wrestlemania.
Winner: Randy Orton

Match #2
The Kings of Wrestling (Antonio Cesaro and Kassius Ohno) (c) vs. The Shield (Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins) vs. Brute Force (Jon Cutler and Mason Ryan) w/ Satisfaction vs. The Briscoes (Jay and Mark Briscoe) w/ Audrey Marie for the WWE Tag Team Championships
The Kings of Wrestling were praised when they defeated Ryback and manager Satisfaction for the WWE Tag Team Championships. Unhappy with this, Satisfaction set Brute Force after them. Meanwhile, the Briscoes and the Shield had gotten into their own rivalry and it was decided that all four teams would battle it out for the gold.
Winner: The Kings of Wrestling

Match #3
Dolph Ziggler vs. Cody Rhodes w/ Charlotte
Dolph Ziggler showed why he is dubbed “Mr Steal Your Girl” after pursuing Cody Rhodes’ girlfriend, Charlotte Flair. Rhodes didn’t take too kindly to this and began physically tormenting Ziggler. The two men were given the opportunity to duke it out at Wrestlemania with the devious Charlotte at ringside.
Winner: Dolph Ziggler

Match #4
Kelly Kelly (c) vs. AJ Lee vs. Natalya w/ Blade Hart vs. Angelina Love for the WWE Divas Championship
Kelly Kelly had been a fighting champion ever since winning the Divas title back at the Royal Rumble. Kelly made a tag team pact with Angelina to fight off AJ Lee and Natalya at Elimination Chamber, but soon it was every woman for herself. Alliances were broken and every Diva knew that their could only be ONE Divas Champion.
Winner: AJ Lee (NEW Divas Champion)

Match #5
The Undertaker vs. The Big Show vs. The Miz
The Big Show and the Miz had been arguing over who was going to get the shot at Undertaker’s Wrestlemania streak, feuding all the way from late December to early April. An executive decision was made that both men would get their shot Undertaker in a triple threat match.
Winner: The Undertaker

Match #6
Roman Reigns (c) vs. Novakaine w/ Satisfaction for the WWE United States Championship
Roman Reigns made a big name for himself after breaking away from the Shield, his biggest victory coming when he defeated the seemingly unstoppable Novakaine for the US title. It wasn’t long before Satisfaction had sicked Novakaine on his rival, telling his client to win the United States gold back at any cost.
Winner: Roman Reigns

Match #7
Kofi Kingston (c) vs. Sheamus vs. Adrian Neville vs. Wade Barrett vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Jack Swagger w/ Zeb Colter in a six-pack challenge for the WWE Intercontinental Championship
Kofi Kingston, Adrian Neville, Wade Barrett and Ted DiBiase had been quarreling over the Intercontinental Championship for quite some time, while Sheamus and Jack Swagger attempted to settle their own differences as well. It was decided that Sheamus and Swagger would join the fight for the gold in a six-pack challenge where the winner takes all.
Winner: Jack Swagger (NEW Intercontinental Champion)

Match #8
The Rock vs. Ryback w/ Satisfaction in a Last Man Standing Match
Ryback and his handler, Satisfaction, had been a thorn in the Rock’s side in the past few months. After suffering a loss against Ryback at Wrestlemania 29 in a triple threat also featuring John Cena, the Rock was looking for revenge, especially after the hellish torment at the hands of Satisfaction.
Winner: The Rock

Match #9
John Cena (c) vs. Batista vs. Brock Lesnar for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship
John Cena had been a fighting champion ever since beating the conniving Chris Jericho. After a brutal attack at the hands of Brock Lesnar, it seemed as if Cena had met his match… until Batista inserted himself into the picture. It was decided by the power that be that Cena would defend his title against both men in a triple threat.
Winner: John Cena

Match #10
Eva Marie vs. Lacey Von Erich in a Playboy Pillowfight match
It was only a matter of time for “Red Hot” Eva Marie to land the cover of Playboy. It wasn’t until she began rubbing it in everyone’s faces that Lacey Von Erich took exception to it. The two beautiful Divas had been clawing at each other ever since – even involving Eva’s boyfriend Mike Bennett and Lacey’s cousins Ross and Marshall – and were set to fight it out at Wrestlemania.
Winner: Eva Marie

Match #11
CM Punk (c) vs. Daniel Bryan for the WWE Championship
It was a true underdog Cinderella story for Daniel Bryan. After winning a 40-man Royal Rumble, Bryan kept his decision to himself as he fended off then-rival Cody Rhodes. After stating that he would chase Punk’s WWE Championship, the two ring technicians would collide at the main event of Wrestlemania.
Winner: Daniel Bryan (NEW WWE Champion)

Mine’s A LOT better than the real one, isn’t it?

– by The Black Widow

AJ Lee vs. the World

Inspired by a recent comment made by the longest reigning Divas Champion AJ Lee, I decided to take a look at the potential rivalries that AJ could be a part of that could be huge. Like, Trish vs. Lita huge. Hopefully.

Whether you like her or not, AJ Lee’s presence in the WWE Divas division today has been a breath of fresh air (click here for extra reference). It’s been a while since a character like hers has been seen in WWE’s women’s division, and her success has been shown in her lengthy tenure as Divas Champion. So far, no one has been able to dethrone the Divas Champ, but here’s me thinking that she hasn’t quite gone through all the Divas yet…

She knows they're after her... look at that fear in her eyes. (SOURCE: Sean Kimmel's Flickr photostream)

She knows they’re after her… look at that fear in her eyes. (SOURCE: Sean Kimmel’s Flickr photostream)

Idea #1: vs. Paige
Also known as the IWC’s women’s wrestling wet dream, every wrestling fan is waiting for NXT Women’s Champion Paige to be called up to put CrayJ in her place. Besides Natalya who’s already had several shots for AJ’s title, the only other woman signed by WWE currently who could put on a wrestling clinic as well as AJ is Paige (as well as Emma, but more about that later). Paige was born and raised in the wrestling business and, if not made apparent by her flawless Scorpion Cross Lock, is a wrestling sensation. Her intensity is shown both in the ring and on the mic and while some claim her to be “stale” as a person, I disagree; she’s one of my favourite talents in WWE and I’m usually the type to like the Summer Rae’s in wrestling. Paige could make her main roster debut as the Anti-Diva who will finally put AJ in her place by capturing the Divas title.

Idea #2: vs. Summer Rae
Yes, AJ Lee has run through every Total Diva… except Summer Rae. Okay, so technically she hasn’t beaten Eva Marie or Jojo in a one-on-one environment, but I don’t think the E are too confident in putting either one in a singles match. Regardless, Summer Rae’s recent inclusion to the hit reality series has no doubt put her on AJ’s radar. Even if both of them are heel at the moment, a smart baby face turn for AJ (since she’s cheered out of the building all the time anyway) could work well against super heel Summer, who plays her bitchy role on NXT to perfection. Face AJ vs. Heel Summer could be taken in a Kelly vs. Beth kind of way, except the serious wrestler would be face and the model would be heel. If any of the “newbie” Divas have shown that they can work in the ring, it’s Summer bloody Rae. The thought of this rivalry is just… fantastic.

Idea #3: vs. Emma
Now, if AJ were to stay heel, then why not go against the new main roster babyface in Emma? AJ has steamrolled through most if not all of the face Divas on the main roster except for Emma. Emma’s infectious personality and character could definitely get the fans behind her, and AJ’s crazy prima donna personality would clash against Emma’s bubbly Strayan character. Like I said before with Paige, Emma is one of the Divas who could put on a clinic with the likes of Resthold Lee. Her wrestling move set is phenomenal and clearly inspired by the handsome Lance Storm. If you ignore all her Emma dance gestures in between her moves, she’s a solid wrestler. Put her and AJ Lee in a singles match together, and the greatness that was Paige vs. Emma at NXT aRrival or however you spell it could be re-created on the main stage.

Idea #4: vs. Tamina
The storyline that they’ve been teasing for the past few weeks and keep dropping because all of a sudden they’re friends again, Tamina turning on AJ Lee is inevitable; the deciding factor on how well it’s received, however, depends on how the ‘E make it. As much as I love Tamina as a person, character and wrestler, I don’t see wrestling fans getting behind her if she was to become the babyface of the tandem, so like #2, AJ Lee would have to turn babyface for this idea to work well. Tamina could get sick of all the crap she’s had to deal with regarding AJ and could brutally attack her, thus creating sympathy for AJ and effectively making her the face. Tamina has shown that she can put on a good match and with AJ Lee guiding her, the storyline and result of this could be fantastic.

Well, there are my predictions for your crazy-ass Divas Champion. If someone could do me a solid and message WWE Creative and be like “You should check out SolSat’s latest post. LOL.”, that would be great.

– by The Black Widow

The Black Widow’s Bite of Life

Don’t let the heading fool you – this isn’t about the actual spider black widow (or me, for that matter).  No, this is in reference to the Black Widow of the WWE, AKA AJ Lee.

AJ_Natalya_nologo_original_crop_650

Don’t get caught in the Black Widow’s web…

Many wrestling critics have praised the crazy-ass woman for resurrecting the WWE women’s division and, to an extent, I have to agree with them; AJ Lee is probably the most over Diva since, I’d say, Kelly Kelly, and both women were popular with the crowd for two very different reasons. Kelly was the beautiful girl-next-door underdog that you couldn’t help but to root for (unless you’re an IWC troll) while AJ is just great at her craft and no matter heel or face, she will always be appreciated. It doesn’t hurt that she’s so down-to-earth and lovely out-of-character.

Women’s wrestling, especially in WWE, had been in a period of stale for a while. The fans were sick of seeing Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix at every PPV and it seemed as if creative had no fresh ideas for the smart, sexy and powerful women. And then AJ was knocked out cold by the Big Show. This was, in my opinion, when the Rise of AJ begun.

AJ began to show personality and flare when tensions between her and then on-screen boyfriend Daniel Bryan began to rise. Nekk minnit, she’s steamrolled over him, CM Punk, Kane, John Cena, Dolph Ziggler, Big E Langston and is now the Divas Champion and will probably break Maryse’s previous record for longest title reign with the Divas Championship.

Throughout her course of failed relationships and bad slut puns courtesy of Jerry Lawler, AJ was pushed to the stars, and she took the ball and ran with it. She has pulled off what would be a difficult character for your every day woman to successfully capture and made it almost a second skin to herself, and she’s shown that she is a damn good wrestler at the same time, creating some solid storylines and matches with the likes of Kaitlyn and Natalya.

Oh, and do you hear the pops she gets when she simply tags into a match? Incredible.

AJ is definitely the Diva of today, but is she the “sole” reason why the Divas division of today is as great as it is?

Yes and no.

With all due respect to Miss Lee, if WWE focused all of the attention they gave to her as they did to, say, Aksana, I’d guess that even Aksana would be as over as AJ Lee is. Aksana has a great character going for her at the moment and she has shown that she has enough charisma and personality to make it on her own, but what she didn’t have to push her to that next Diva level is the amount of push and air time that AJ had. So, in a sense, the success of AJ was bound to happen.

However, the Divas of WWE have been getting a lot more attention and a lot less ignorant “piss break” comments because of the hype the name “AJ Lee” carries. She is probably one of the few women in the WWE today that have a firmly established character that isn’t “happy babyface gal” or “snobby bitch heel”. That reason alone is why Miss AJ will probably hold the record for longest reign as Divas Champion. People tune in to see AJ and, dare I say, a lot less would tune in to see the Funkadactyls.

AJ Lee is currently sitting atop the mountain that is the WWE’s womens division, yes, but with new young and upcoming Divas like Paige and Summer Rae, I’d like to see her try and keep her throne away from the claws of these hungry Divas.

If I may say; AJ, watch out for Summer Rae. She’s over as hell and she hasn’t even hit her peak in WWE yet.

– by The Black Widow