Black Widow Predicts Wrestlemania 31

It’s my favourite time of the year! Even moreso than my birthday, Christmas, and the one night a girl gets to dress like a total slut and no one can say anything about it.

Introducing Wrestlemania 31, the first Wrestlemania pay-per-view I’ll get to watch on my WWE Network account (which you can get for just $9.99) and roughly my 13th Wrestlemania I’ve ordered and watched live. Aptly named the greatest spectacle of sports entertainment in the world, this year will see the WWE debut of legend Sting, the first championship bout for the ever-controversial Roman Reigns, and the Wrestlemania debut for the greatest thing to happen to women’s wrestling in years, Paige.

But seriously, why is Nikki Bella's face not on this poster?

But seriously, why is Nikki Bella’s face not on this poster?

In no particular order, here are my predictions for each of the matches:

Pre-show
Fatal 4-Way Tag Team Title Match
Tyson Kidd and Cesaro (C) (w/ Natalya) vs. The Usos (w/ Naomi) vs. Big E and Kofi Kingston (w/ Xavier Woods) vs. Los Matadores (w/ El Torito)
Winner: Tyson Kidd and Cesaro retain
I think this one’s a given. Kidd and Cesaro are the most technically sound tag team in recent years and all the momentum is going their way. Plus, I don’t see them dropping the titles soon. I’m going for a Natalya interference for the sneaky victory.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
AKA the match used as an excuse to make sure every superstar is on the card
Winner: Damien Mizdow… or Sandow, whatever he’s using
The stunt double gimmick has worked wonders for Sandow’s career and he’s made it into his thing. I see Sandow and The Miz as the last two in the ring and Miz ordering Sandow out, but Sandow swerves and eliminates him to a huge ovation from the crowd.

Main Card
Singles Match
Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins (w/ J&J Security)
Winner: Randy Orton
As much as I want Seth Rollins to win, I don’t see that happening. Randy Orton has come back with a vengeance and it’d make all the sense in the world for him to get his revenge by beating The Architect on the grandest stage of them all. Expect some backfired J&J Security interference.

7-man Ladder Match for the Intercontinental Championship
Bad News Barrett (C) vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Daniel Bryan vs. R-Truth vs. Stardust vs. Luke Harper
Winner: Daniel Bryan
So the man who turned last year’s Wrestlemania into HIS show has been “demoted” to an Intercontinental title match, but even still, I see Bryan winning this one. I mean, people can’t get enough of his Cinderella-ness and, well, I love him.

Divalicious Tag Team Match
The Bella Twins vs. Paige and AJ Lee
Winner: Paige and AJ Lee
There’s no secret that the Bellas are the backstage darlings of the WWE, and the face of the Divas division, but the outcasts sometimes known as PaiJ are the babyfaces and will come out victorious in this one. If recent reports of a changing Divas division are to be believed, expect a great match between the Fantastic Four.

Singles Match
Bray Wyatt vs. The Undertaker
Winner: The Undertaker
This one’s hard to call. I mean, I’m expecting an Undertaker win, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Undertaker lost to put over the “new face of fear” in Bray Wyatt. The streak’s already been broken so there’s no real breathtaking hype to this one. Undertaker to win via all his finishers… performed at least twice each.

Singles Match for the United States Championship
Rusev (C) w/ Lana vs. John Cena
Winner: John Cena
This one is too easy to call. Rusev’s never been pinned or submitted. John Cena is Superman. Superman will overcome the odds and be the first to pin Rusev or make him submit on the grandest stage of them all. I hope Lana’s there.

Singles Match
Sting vs. Triple H
Winner: Sting
Say what you want about Triple H, but he will put over a talent if he needs to (as made apparent against D Bryan), and expect him to do so again with Sting. Sting is an Icon (and I wish Cole would stop calling him the Vigilante), and in his first ever sanctioned WWE match, he’ll win. No question about it.

Singles Match for the World Heavyweight Championship
Brock Lesnar (C) w/ Paul Heyman vs. Roman Reigns
Winner: Brock Lesnar
If you asked me a week ago who I thought would take the win, I would’ve said Roman. Now that Brock has re-signed, I’m leaning more to the Lesnar side. I don’t think WWE are going to pul the trigger on Roman’s push right now, especially after the “lovely” reception he’s been getting from ignorant fans, so I expect a dominant Lesnar win here. SWERVE!! While Lesnar is down an out, Rollins cashes in and wins the World title. Brock takes a vacation and Rollins vs. Reigns is reborn!

Make sure you get work off, take the day off school or uni, or find a pub playing this event. You won’t wanna miss it!

– by Noah La’ulu

Tipping for Dummies: Round 25

Not gonna lie, I intend on making this one short and snappy so I can get my weekend started. Got a big one ahead so let’s get it kickin’… welcome to Tipping for Dummies Round 25!

Everybody's favourite "Tipping for Dummies!"

Everybody’s favourite “Tipping for Dummies!”

SolSat Prediction Count from Round 24: 4 out of 8 (50%)

Ouch. That stings.

Friday 30th August, 2013
Brisbane Broncos vs. Newcastle Knights
The Broncos are coming off a very disappointing loss against Penrith last week with our finals dreams being slimmer than ever. We are going up against cousin Fraser’s Newcastle Knights who will have to get the job down without Snowden in a very controversial suspension, putting him out for 8 weeks although they do have Mason to add to the forward pack.

SolSat’s Prediction: Brisbane Broncos

I’m picking this one based purely on heart, and my heart will forever be with the Broncos. My dreams of being in the finals are diminishing and this is our fight or die moment. The last time these two teams clashed, it ended up in a draw after stellar performances from both sides, so let’s hope that they both perform exceedingly well again, albeit with a Broncos victory.

West Tigers vs. South Sydney Rabbitohs
This is a big one for both the Tigers and the Bunnies; making his return is Tigers captain Robbie Farah whom the Tigers have badly missed. On the Bunnies side, it is the first time in nearly 100 years that four brothers have played together on the same side as Sam, Luke, Tom and George will all be playing for the Bunnies. I have a soft spot for the Burgess boys so this’ll be great.

SolSat’s Prediction: South Sydney Rabbitohs

This one’s a no brainer, really. The Bunnies have got this one in the bag unless there’s some sort of natural disaster (touch wood) that harms the Bunnies squad. I’m quite excited to see the four Burgess boys playing together. My personal favourite is Luke by the way, just in case someone holds a gun to your head and says “I’ll shoot unless you tell me who Noah’s favourite Burgess boy is”.

Saturday 31st August, 2013
New Zealand Warriors vs. Canberra Raiders
The Raiders have made all the headlines this week and not for the good reason as a personal favourite in Sandor Earl has been handed an infraction notice from ASADA (AKA the Game Ruiners) for illegal use of peptides, and Ferguson has also decided to take a runner. Will this affect the Raiders form as they take on the Warriors in New Zealand?

SolSat’s Prediction: New Zealand Warriors

I’m basing this pick solely on the media revolving around the Raiders – with all this drama going on, I don’t think they would’ve had time to solely focus on their game against the Warriors who are pretty great themselves. Therefore, I am predicting a pretty decisive victory on the Warriors’ behalf.

Canterbury Bulldogs vs. Penrith Panthers
The Doggies take on the Panthers for their second game in a row at the wonderful ANZ Stadium after their loss against the Bunnies in Round 24 last week. On the contrary, the Panthers are coming off a very decisive win against my Broncos so Kingston’s side will be looking to turn this into a streak against the Doggies.

SolSat’s Prediction: Canterbury Bulldogs

I’ve made this decision based simply on “who do I think is better between the two”. Obviously, my answer came up as the Bulldogs, who have been lurking around the top rungs of the ladder all season.

Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles vs. Melbourne Storm
In what may very well be a warm-up to a possible 2013 grand final, the Eagles will be playing in their home ground against the ever unstoppable Melbourne Storm. Right now I just have to make a shout out to Jason Ryles who has kept me entertained endlessly with his Ryles Files videos on Storm TV – if you haven’t checked them out yet, please do so. The man is as funny as he is large.

SolSat’s Prediction: Melbourne Storm

The Eagles are missing some of their big players from their usual starting line up so I’m backing the Storm on this one. Words are not needed to describe how in form the Storm are (that rhymed!) so this one is sure to be the game to watch this round. I will also be keeping my eye out for new SolSat favourite Jason Ryles (check out Ryles Files, these are subliminal messages).

Sunday 1st September, 2013
Cronulla Sharks vs. North Queensland Cowboys
Kicking off ye olde Fathers Day this Sunday are the Sharkies who take on the Cowboys, the latter of which have been steamrolling through competition as they have hit impeccable form. I feel sorry for the blokes who have to play on Sunday who would rather be at home with their children. Sadface.

SolSat’s Prediction: North Queensland Cowboys

I am tentatively backing the non-favourites in this game as I predict a close win for the Cowboys. As mentioned before, the Cowboys are on a winning streak and are on a mission to remain in the top 8 for the finals and I believe they can do that with a victory over the Sharkies.

Sydney City Roosters vs. Gold Coast Titans
Top team Sydney City Roosters will be looking to change their luck after a very surprising defeat at the hands of the Sharks last week as they take on the Gold Coast Titans. Now would be an appropriate time to commend Titans’ Aidan Sezer for his tremendous kicking game recently.

SolSat’s Prediction: Sydney City Roosters

Even with Sezer’s solid form, I don’t see the Titans beating the Chookies here unfortunately, as I’m sure the Titans are all wonderful men. Yes, sometimes I base my tips on my personal feelings because I am pathetic like that. But on a serious note, the Chookies have been impressive all season so I’m expecting them to take out the victory here.

Monday 2nd September, 2013
Parramatta Eels vs. St. George Illawarra Dragons
Two of the bottom teams are set to wrap up Round 25 as the Eels collide with the Dragons at Parramatta Stadium which, I need to point out, needs to fix their terrible parking pronto.

SolSat’s Prediction: St. George Illawarra Dragons

This one boiled down to the two of lesser evils as both teams have had shockers. The statistics would favour the Eels who have won all their four games at Parra Stadium but when it comes to who’s better of the two, I’m backing the Dragons. I feel for them. They need a win.

You can tell I’m passionate about my footy because I just prattled on for over 1100 words in less than ten minutes – just about footy tips. Anywho, I’m about to don my Broncos jersey with pride and HOPEFULLY they can take the win tonight against the Knights. Widow out!

– by The Black Widow

Tipping for Dummies: Round 18

Everybody's favourite "Tipping for Dummies!"

Everybody’s favourite “Tipping for Dummies!”

Welcome to another edition of SolSat’s Tipping for Dummies! We’re in round 18 and it’s the “State of Origin Team Bye” round before the big decider next week, meaning the Origin players will be pulled from their respective teams in this round. Let’s begin with the Prediction Count.

SolSat’s Prediction Count from Round 17: 4 out of 8 (50%)

Whoops. Moving on…

Friday 12th July, 2013
Brisbane Broncos vs. Cronulla Sharks
So after my boys highly disappointing performance last week – bar Corey Parker who continues to show why he is an underrated player with impressive performance after impressive performance – they are going up against the Sharks who picked up a 14 point lead victory over the Tigers in a damn entertaining game. Can my Broncos redeem themselves or will the Sharks gnaw into the Bronx and continue their roll?

SolSat’s Prediction: Cronulla Sharks

Unfortunately, I have to be frank here – I love my boys to the moon and back but I don’t see them pulling out the V today. Their last Origin round performance against the Warriors was absolutely shocking and even with all the outs from Cronulla’s side, I see the Sharks taking out the win with the Broncos putting up a decent fight. Sorry #bronxnation! I love you all!

Saturday 13th July, 2013
Parramatta Eels vs. Penrith Panthers
My local team (the Eels, who I ironically don’t support in the slightest) will take on the Panthers at Parramatta Stadium, hoping for a home boost advantage. The Eels, needless to say, have had a bad season even with the dynamic leadership of one Mannah, so they are looking to redeem themselves as they go against the surprisingly excellent Panthers.

SolSat’s Prediction: Penrith Panthers

Taking into consideration the building momentum the Panthers have, they will take this victory without a doubt. The Eels are missing their main player in Hayne who, despite my personal feelings towards him, is a key player for the squad. The Panthers work so cohesively it’s like watching gears turn together. In saying this, the Eels always put up a good fight on their home turf so I expect to see a good game played between the two teams.

Sunday 14th July, 2013
Canterbury Bulldogs vs. Melbourne Storm
The Bulldogs, who I predicted would win with ease, actually lost last week. Sadface. They are going up against the Melbourne Storm who absolutely demolished my boys with a 32-0 win at my second-most-favourite stadium, ANZ Stadium. Two major teams clash before the biggest clash of the NRL season next Wednesday – who takes the V? Sexual pun not in the slightest bit intended.

SolSat’s Prediction: Melbourne Storm

It’s hard to deny the premiers their excellent form even with their seemingly up-and-down season and coming off a steamroller victory, they will defeat the Doggies in what is sure to be an outstanding game. The Doggies, God bless their souls, have not wowed me this season with 2012 Dally M winner Ben Barba not impressing me at all during the year. They would have to pick up their game if they want to stay in the top 8.

Monday 15th July, 2013
North Queensland Cowboys vs. Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles
Predicting one game a day is way too easy; I could get used to this. Anyways, the lovely North Queensland Cowboys take on the Manly Sea Eagles at 1300SMILES stadium – the name of the stadium is so adorable, don’t you think? With the Cowboys missing their co-captains, Thurston and Scott, for Origin, will they be able to defeat the Eagles?

SolSat’s Prediction: Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles

As just mentioned, the Cowboys are missing their main players and co-captains so I don’t see the Cowboys winning against the Eagles unfortunately. Manly have been playing some great footy this season with no real shockers to point out so they will keep up their fantastic form and continue their uphill momentum against the Cowboys, God bless their souls.

Besides my predictions, which I am hoping will be 100%, the big news of the day (at least regarding NRL fans) is that Blues captain Paul Gallen has been ruled out of the decider, indefinitely shifting the balance towards my mighty Maroons. Will this impact the deciding game in any way? Subscribe to Solstice Satisfaction and find out when I eventually recap the Origin decider.

Widow out!

– by The Black Widow

Tipping for Dummies: Round 17

I was just thinking that I should rename my “Sports” category to just “NRL” seeing as most of my sports posts are going to be NRL related. On that note:

Welcome to Tipping for Dummies!

Introducing Solstice Satisfaction's "Tipping for Dummies"!

Introducing Solstice Satisfaction’s “Tipping for Dummies”!

 

In this new segment of SolSat, I will be giving my predictions of the NRL round’s fast-paced, hard-hitting action with a breakdown of the two teams and, of course, the ultimate prediction of who will be the winnah. That was a Buzz! reference, if anyone didn’t get it. Let’s get to it then, shall we?

Friday 5th July, 2013
Melboure Storm vs. Brisbane Broncos

If it hasn’t been made apparent by my previous sports posts, I am a diehard Broncos fan. Apparently the term “supporter” doesn’t suit me because I’m too, shall we say, lively to be defined as a mere supporter. In saying that, the Storm are one of my top 4 teams so it won’t be too hard for me to remain unbiased in this. After what I thought to be quite a humiliating loss to the Tigers last week, the Storm are looking to pick up their game and will most likely do so with their main player, Cameron Smith, back in the fray. After all, he walks like Rihanna. On the opposing side, the Mighty Broncos are coming off an excellent game with the Warriors despite a 2 point loss, which is a major improvement on their last game against the Warriors with which my precious Suncorp Stadium grass was desecrated.

SolSat’s Prediction: Brisbane Broncos

Despite being a diehard #bronxnation fan, the Broncos desperately need this victory if they want to be in the top 8 at the end of the year and I believe that drive and determination will lead them to a slight victory over the premiers in what is to be an excellent game. With star player Gareth Widdop sidelined for the rest of the season, God bless his soul, Melbourne won’t be up to their 120% performance and this will contribute to the Bronco’s predicted victory. Here’s to a good game and GO THE MIGHTY BRONCOS!

Cronulla Sharks vs. West Tigers
The Tigers have completely changed their downhill momentum with an impressive victory over the Storm and are hoping to continue that trek uphill as they go up against the Sharks. On the contrary, the usually outstanding Sharks have been on a downward slope, contributing to their loss against the North Queensland Cowboys and are indubitably hoping to fix that problem with a victory here.

SolSat’s Prediction: Cronulla Sharks

Even with Cronulla five-eighth Todd Carney not playing at his total best, I don’t see the Tigers taking the victory this time around. The loss against the Cowboys will surely motivate the Sharks to play a top game and defeat the Tigers, although I am still expecting an excellent game from the Wests, with notable mentions going out to Benji Marshall and Robbie Farah.

Saturday 6th July, 2013
St. George Illawarra Dragons vs. Sydney City Roosters
The Roosters have had an excellent season so far because of, in my humble opinion, the acquisition of one Sonny Bill Williams and one James “Barbecquing” Maloney. They are coming off a victory over the Eagles in what was a terrific game. The Dragons haven’t had as impressive a season, especially with key player Matt “Sexiest Man in League” Cooper being sidelined for quite a while.

SolSat’s Prediction: Sydney City Roosters

The Roosters are too damn impressive to be overthrown this time and with cutie five-eighth Maloney coming back after a disgusting looking eye injury, I see the Roosters with a clear and decisive victory over the Dragons who are in desperate need of some spark to get them back to their 100%. They may also need Matt Cooper back before he leaves league to become a full-time model.

Gold Coast Titans vs. Penrith Panthers
The Titans are coming off a huge loss to the Newcastle Knights which, in their defense, is nothing to be ashamed of with the Knights impressive performances as of late. With the Panthers solid victory over the Dragons in Round 16, they are looking to make this a streak with a victory over the beautifully-coloured Titans.

SolSat’s Prediction: Gold Coast Titans

I expect the Titans to win but just barely as the Panthers will play an excellent game against the Titans. This predicted loss may just light the fire underneath the Panthers to keep their position in the top 8.

Sunday 7th July, 2013
Canberra Raiders vs. North Queensland Cowboys
The Cowboys, who I may note are in my top 4 faves as I have an undying adoration for co-captains Thurston and Scott, done me proud as they toppled the Sharks in a 24-4 victory. In saying that, the Raiders have been tearing through the competition, even with a huge loss to the Rabbitohs last week even though a loss to the no.1 team is nothing to be ashamed of. Cowboys vs. Raiders – who will come out with the victory?

SolSat’s Prediction: North Queensland Cowboys

My lovely Cowboys will take this victory when taking into consideration Raiders’ key player Edrick Lee being sidelined and the fact that Thurston is a league machine. The Cowboys will take this game and continue their upwards momentum and hopefully make it into the top 8 like my Broncos are hoping to.

Canterbury Bulldogs vs. Newcastle Knights
This season has been up and down for the usually impressive Bulldogs. Ben Barba seems to have hit his peak last year and hasn’t been playing as well as he usually does resulting in an up-and-down win and loss record for the highly favoured team. The Newcastle Knights, if I may say, have shot out of nowhere and proven why they deserve to be in the top 8 after demolishing the Titans in Round 16.

SolSat’s Prediction: Canterbury Bulldogs

The Bulldogs would have undoubtedly used their bye for some extra training for this game with the Knights and that among other things will carry to their victory over the Knights. While the Knights have been impressive as of late, I’m favouring the Doggies to take this one. Doggggiieeeesss bro. Sorry Fraser.

South Sydney Rabbitohs vs. New Zealand Warriors
The Bunnies have had no trouble staying in the top 4 for this whole season and their performances have been flawless with notable mentions going out to Greg Inglis and Adam Reynolds. On the flip side, if there has been any shocker for me personally, it has been the Warriors; they have literally come out of no where with entertaining and bloody brilliant performances… one of which took place on Suncorp Stadium that I don’t ever want to mention again. With the Bunnies dominance and the Warriors uprise, who will take the win?

SolSat’s Prediction: South Sydney Rabbitohs

Sorry Maxi, the Bunnies take this one. They have been too damn good to lose now, even to an unpredictable team like the Warriors. With League legend Inglis on their side along with the Burgess brothers and the soft spoken Adam Reynolds, who I think should be the halfback for the NSW Blues, the Bunnies will easily score a victory at the expense of the Warriors. On a side note: #ThankYouRoyAsotasi

Monday 8th July, 2013
Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles vs. Parramatta Eels
The Eagles have had a solid year proving why they’re key players in the league with impressive performances throughout the year, even against my boys in Round 1, with notable mention going out to Kieran Foran and Daly Cherry Evans, the latter of which continues to wow me with his impressive form. The Eels, putting it bluntly, have had a not-so impressive season although they did score the victory over my boys.

SolSat’s Prediction: Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles

With all due respect to Mannah and his squadron of Eels, the Eagles will take this hands down. They have been too good recently to lose and coming off a loss to the Chookies in a terrific game of league, the Eagles will undoubtedly bring their stardom to their home stadium and defeat the Eels to finish Round 17.

There you have it. Those are my predictions for Round 17 wrapped in a nice little package. Here’s to hoping for some great games and go the Broncos!

– by The Black Widow