The Do’s and Don’t’s of Gym Etiquette

Posted in Body, Health & Fitness by

Insert Joey Swoll MYOB face here.

Judging by the fact that my last Health & Fitness post was posted nine years ago, one would assume that I don’t particularly like staying healthy and fit. One would be correct in this; however, that doesn’t mean that I don’t do it out of pure obligation (I am a wrestler Diva after all).

In short, I hate the gym, but I go anyway.

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Shameless gym selfie, with no one in the background because I’m considerate.

On a standard week for The Black Widow, I will go to wrestling training once or twice a week, and will go to the gym an additional three or four times a week on top of that. In my mind, doing some sort of physical activity at least five days a week will keep my body in decent shape, maintain the fitness I need for wrestling, while also giving my body enough time to rest and recover on my off days. And purely for context, I have maintained this workout schedule for around 8-10 years.

A friendly reminder: I hate the gym, but I go anyway.

Because of my hate-hate relationship with the gym, I have encountered many different people at different gym locations and have witnessed what I perceive to be good gym etiquette, and also bad gym etiquette.

Inspired by the insanely sweet Joey Swoll and his campaign to rid the world of bad gym etiquette, here are my do’s and don’t’s to guide you on your fitness journey.

Do’s
[x] Do clean up after yourself as you go. Even before the pandemic, I was always sure to wipe down the equipment I used because it’s the courteous and hygienic thing to do for the next person to use it. Your gym should be equipped with sanitary wipes, or spray bottles and paper towel, so be sure to use them. I personally clean my equipment before I use it and after I’m finished with it. If for whatever reason your gym has run out of cleaning products, or they just don’t stock these materials (RED FLAG), then use your towel; it’s better than nothing.
[x] Do ask if someone is using a piece of equipment before assuming it’s yours for the taking. If a person is hovering around a certain squat rack, there’s a chance they are using it or at least about to use it. Be polite and ask them if they’re using it just to mitigate any awkward conversations with your fellow gym goers that may follow.
[x] Do ask people in the background of your content videos if they’re okay being filmed. I know for me personally, I do not put effort into my presentation when I go to the gym, so I wouldn’t want to be featured in the background of someone’s content looking like a bush pig. Just a simple “Hey do you mind being in the background of my video?” will suffice. If they say no, just maneuver your camera around so they’re no longer in the background, or simply don’t record your workout. You don’t own the gym (unless it’s a personal gym and you do own it LOL) and you are not entitled to recording this content. Which leads me to the next point…
[x] Do follow the rules of your gym. If your gym doesn’t allow recording, then don’t record. But the one that grinds my gears are the men or enbys that walk around shirtless even though the gym has a rule against it. We get it; your torso looks great. Now put it back on and get back to your workout.
[x] Do unrack your weight machines or take back your equipment to where you found it once you’re done with it. This is a common courtesy that shouldn’t be said, but I see so many people just leave their stuff lying around or completely racked, and it makes you wonder the state of their homes.

Don’t
[x] Don’t be that person that shames others in your gym videos for clout or content. Really, just don’t shame others periodt. Have you not heard of Joey Swoll for crying out loud? Even worse are the people who do this intentionally for Joey Swoll’s attention, and then they use that overwhelmingly negative attention to try and boost their own social media presence or influence. Girl bye.
[x] Don’t annoy someone who clearly doesn’t want to be spoken to. I go to the gym to work out and go home. I am not there to socialise or make friendly conversation unless it’s “Are you using that?” I see other gym goers, especially women, innocently just trying to get their pump on with their hair up and headphones in, and then an asshat (typically male) will interrupt them to try and converse or flirt when they clearly don’t want to be interrupted. Read the room, guys.
[x] Don’t drop your weights. If you’re strong enough to pick them up in the first place, then you’re strong enough to place them down gently and carefully.
[x] Don’t hog equipment. I get the benefits of doing a superset, jumping between different sets of equipment, but remember you are not entitled to that piece of equipment in a public gym. If you see someone going to use something you’re not on but plan on using, you can either politely check with them if they’re okay to come back in five minutes, or you can just relinquish it to them because you don’t own it.
[x] Don’t be a dick. Simple, really. If you see someone using a piece of equipment incorrectly, or they have poor/incorrect form, don’t mock or ridicule them. Be polite and show them how they can better their technique. It’s not hard to be nice, folks.

There are probably way more do’s and don’t’s of gym etiquette that I haven’t included above, but they really have one major thing in common: be courteous and respectful of others, and don’t be a fuckwit.

If you struggle with this simple instruction, might I suggest you don’t fuck with my good sis and perhaps invest in a private gym so no one else has to deal with your social incompetence?

Thanks. Widow out!

– by The Black Widow

Artist Spotlight: Zach Bryan

Posted in Artist Spotlight, Entertainment, Music by

Spoiler: I love this man.

Considering the rather infrequent updates in this category, I have (wisely) changed the Artist of the Month feature on Widow’s Lure to the more aptly named Artist Spotlight, where I can highlight a certain musical artist or artists at my own pace.

Even though I have since updated previous posts to reflect this change, the first official spotlight will focus on one of the fastest rising stars in country music – and music in general – Zach Bryan.

Hot girls listen to Zach Bryan. (SOURCE: Zach Bryan’s Instagram)


My introduction to Zach Bryan came perhaps towards the middle of his ascent to stardom. Bored of my usual rotation, I went looking for new artists to listen to, and a name that I came across frequently was that of handsome Zach Bryan.

The first song that I streamed of his, coming from his third album American Heartbreak which is Zach’s major label debut album, was Something in the Orange. Perhaps because I’m used to the overproduction of pop songs, I was relatively surprised at the low maintenance of this easy-listening track, and even more surprised at how much I enjoyed it.

Zach sings with pure and raw emotion to the point where you can hear the pain in his voice as he tells his stories through his music, and I think this point cannot be made any clearer than in Something in the Orange. Backed only with a harmonica and an acoustic guitar, Zach really lays himself bare as he tells the heartbreaking story of a love lost and a love that he holds onto with hope.

The simplicity of Zach’s music is also apparent in Heading South, from his second album Elisabeth. Apparently he recorded this song, as well as the entire album, on his laptop in a shed, which attributes to its low maintenance indie feel. Sometimes I can get lost in how an artist sings their lyrics that my empathy ability kicks in and I truly feel something, even if I have no idea what the lyrics are; this is how I felt listening to Heading South.

I think in a genre like country music, its almost expected that male artists have a certain sound – the deep, southern drawl a la Luke Bryan or Chris Stapleton – and while I’m not saying Zach is the complete opposite of this, he has his own unique sound that, coupled with his ability to pour his raw emotion into his music, makes for a very compelling and intriguing artist.

Recommended Tracks
“I Remember Everything” ft. Kacey Musgraves (Zach Bryan)
“Fear and Fridays (Poem)” (Zach Bryan)
“If She Wants a Cowboy” (American Heartbreak)

Not to sound like I’m shitting on an entire genre, but I feel like country is one of the most regulated genres of music there is. I mean, god forbid you support trans rights or something. My own personal views aside, though, what I find so refreshing and endearing about Zach is he seems so unfiltered and like he walks to the beat of his own drum, despite any arguments that country music purists might have.

I mean, his recent collaboration with Sexyy Red really shows this tbh.

Again I say: I love this man. (SOURCE: Zach Bryan’s Instagram)

Anyways, if you haven’t already, I highly suggest you look into Zach Bryan. Come for the handsome face, stay for the music, live for his cheeky approach to life.

– by The Black Widow

Review: Twenty Years Later

Posted in Books, Entertainment by

I’m still riding the high of finishing this novel tbh.

TW: mentions of the 9/11 attacks.

For those of you who definitely didn’t ask, I joined a book club a few months ago and am really enjoying it tbh. Between the four of us, one of us chooses a category or topic, and then we all suggest a book from that category and take a vote on which book to read next.

We’ve read a few books thus far, and the fourth book to be read amongst the club was chosen to be Twenty Years Later by Charlie Donlea. This book was my suggestion as the topic for this round was ‘Goodreads winners’, and this was voted as one of the top Goodreads thrillers which I guess was lowkey a subtle suggestion to read a genre that I love.

Twenty Years Later covers two different times: 2001 around the time of the 9/11 attacks in the US, and (shock!) twenty years later in 2021. Avery Mason, a TV show host and American celebrity in 2021, is thrown into the investigation of a 20-year-old murder mystery while trying to cover her own dark past. The accused, Victoria Ford, left a voicemail for her sister protesting her innocence in the crime, but the catch is Victoria Ford died as part of the 9/11 attacks.

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First off, I just want to say one word: wow.

I love a standard murder mystery on a good day, but when an excellent murder mystery is interwoven with several other attention-grabbing plots going on, it makes for an outstanding novel. Once you thought you knew where the story was going, it would completely flip and go into a new direction with twists and turns a plenty that keeps you on your toes to the very end.

However, I will say to the contrary of what I just said, that sometimes there was a little too much going on at once to the point where it may have been overwhelming. But I rarely felt overwhelmed while reading this novel, so don’t let that scare you off.

Donlea writes the story in third-person and shifts between the point of views of the characters Avery Mason and Walt Jenkins predominantly, with a few surprises here and there that I will not spoil for you. Even though the perspective shifts between characters, Donlea takes the time to really flesh out his characters so you really understand Avery’s motive, Walt’s view on life, and you really get a good understanding of who they are as people.

Both Avery and Walt were both really likeable as characters, with admirable and endearing qualities but created with a sense of realism that they were human and they weren’t perfect angels. I can’t say much more on that without passing that line of spoiler territory, so I’ll just leave it at this ominously vague point.

Wid-o-meter
Storyline: 9/10
Style of writing: 9/10
Overall: 9/10

I cannot recommend this story enough. It’s a great read if you are an established thriller/mystery reader, and it’s also a great read if you’ve never read a thriller/mystery before in your life.

I would just suggest setting time aside to read this book, because it truly is one of those novels that once you’ve really gotten into it, it’ll be hard to put it down to go to sleep, or eat, or use the bathroom. So be prepared.

– by The Black Widow

Sex Talk: Sexuality vs. Sexual Orientation

Posted in Lifestyle, Sex Talk by

Probably the tamest post you’ll find under Sex Talk.

On Widow’s Lure, we’ve covered the mechanics of a threesome, and random thoughts one might have while doing the horizontal tango.

Today, we’re going to go into something that may seem a bit more political than it does straight nasty. Hmm, maybe less political and more Merriam-Webster actually.

Commonly, when referring to a person and their ability to be attracted to a certain gender or genders, you refer to it as their sexuality. I mean, it makes sense right? Heterosexuality, pansexuality, asexuality, bisexuality… it’s in the name!

However, my understanding of the term sexuality is in one’s ability to be sexual or sexy. For example, a woman’s ability to be sexy by confidently prancing around in a bikini or sharing lingerie photos is her being comfortable in her sexuality.

To me, a person’s ability to be attracted, or not attracted, to a gender or genders is their sexual orientation.

Technically my sexual orientation would be pansexual as I am genuinely attracted to all different kinds of people; however I identify as queer because it’s an all encompassing term and tbh I can’t be bothered getting into the nitty gritty of Kinsey scale and “Okay but you like men more than you do women so can you get into further detail of your pansexuality”.

My sexuality, however, is very provocative and unapologetically feminine. I’m very comfortable in my sexuality and my ability to be sexual, whether it’s the way my hips swing when I walk, or the dramatic way I toss my hair around, or by the tight and skimpy clothing I wear on a night out. I’ve been told I walked out of the womb ready to flirt, and I think that’s just because I find it empowering and quite liberating to be sexy and sexual.

My dear friend Jackie Goldschneider Merriam-Webster defines sexuality as:

the quality or state of being sexual:
a: the condition of having sex
b: sexual activity
c: expression of sexual receptivity or interest especially when excessive

Whereas, sexual orientation is defined by Merriam-Webster as:

a person’s sexual identity or self-identification as bisexual, straight, gay, pansexual, etc. 
the state of being bisexual, straight, gay, pansexual, etc.

So many things encompass one’s sexuality, from how they present themselves and behave when attracting someone, to finding what really pleasures them sexually, to your relationships with other people.

As an Australian, I can kind of see where the confusion has come from. I come from a nation that is infamous for shortening words – you may see me walk into a room, flustered, and utter the phrase “Soz guys, the traff was ridic” – and so I think this is where the confusion really stems from.

In short, I bet someone really saw the term sexual orientation, decided that there are way too many syllables for their own personal liking, and shortened it to ‘sexuality’ because it’s easier to say but also makes sense in the context.

I think healthy and respectful discussions around sexual orientation are great, and I would love for society to get to a place where an individual’s sexual orientation isn’t a problem in any aspect of life. I dream of a time where ‘coming out of the closet’ isn’t a thing anymore; a queer teenaged boy can bring his boyfriend home to meet his parents without any drama or cause of conflict.

But I think because sexuality is often misrepresented as sexual orientation that the true definition of sexuality and discussion around sexuality are lost in translation. In turn, people are made to feel ashamed about their sexuality and their confidence within their own skin, or perhaps don’t know what to do when flirting with someone they’re interested in because they don’t understand the concept of sexuality.

Let’s open up the topic of sexuality to young people so by the time in their lives where they start to discover their identities and become comfortable with who they are, they can find comfort in being who they are and loving their skin.

– by The Black Widow