Top 14 Resident Evil Characters

Spoiler alert: Steve is not one of them.

It was the franchise that completely defined the survival horror genre, and it also turned out to be one of my favourite all time video game franchises ever.

My first introduction to Resident Evil – seeing as I went for Nintendo 64 over the PS1 – was Resident Evil 2 (in my opinion the best game of the series, but that’s for another listicle). I was amazed at the incredible storytelling, jump scares, well-defined characters, and entertaining gameplay. I’m a fan of tank controls. Don’t @ me.

We all know how much I love Chris Redfield, but how high is he up on this list of legends? (PHOTO CREDIT: Colony of Gamers Flickr photostream)

Over the years, Resident Evil has been pumping out more and more survival horror, including the iconic Outbreak series, and remakes of older games to give the newer generation a taste of what we had back in the day. During these years, we’ve been introduced to several characters of the franchise, from the dashing hunk Chris Redfield, to the friendly waitress Cindy Lennox.

We’ve been spoiled for choice of characters, and today I’m going to list my top 14 favourite characters from the Resident Evil franchise.

14. Alyssa Ashcroft
Getting started with an underappreciated character of the franchise, Alyssa Ashcroft was the determined reported from the Outbreak series, and my second go-to character in these games. Described as a no-nonsense journalist armed with a red power suit, Alyssa has quite an interesting backstory (only discovered if you play as her in the Flashback scenario in Outbreak File #2) and also has a pot shot skill which is extremely useful.

13. Ada Wong
Someone I’m sure people would expect to be higher up on this list, let me just say that while I think Ada is a badass, I just don’t think she’s that interesting. Her zero personality suits her assassin character, and I love how she’s always zipping about with her grapple gun in heels, but that’s all she offers to me really. One could say, however, that she invented #WasteHisTime because of how long she’s been stringing on poor Leon.

12. Becca Woolett
Just like Alyssa, I appreciate when a female character is given a skill that compliments a good attack plan; female characters are always given support roles in survival horror/action games like these, so it’s a good change. Becca is by far the best with guns in Resident Evil: Resistance which is made all the more better by her cute Southern demeanour and Daisy Duke outfit. She shows that you can be a sexy sassy Southern belle and still pop some zombie brains off.

11. Barry Burton
Mostly because he’s a daddy. Barry Burton is the protective father figure of the series that provides you with a sense of comfort, either as Jill Valentine in Resident Evil, or as Natalia Korda in Resident Evil: Revelations 2. His undying loyalty to the people he holds as family is the most endearing quality a character in a survival horror franchise could have, and we love him for it.

10. Cindy Lennox
My go to character in the Outbreak series, Cindy Lennox is the sweetheart girl-next-door character trope of the eight playable characters in the games. Starting off as a beautiful waitress at Jack’s Bar, she ends up playing a pivotal role in the team as she has a background in first aid; in particular, the mixing of herbs (no she’s not a weed dealer). While Alyssa had a more active role in the team, Cindy’s passive support role isn’t to be overlooked, and that along with the fact that she’s more liked by the other NPC characters, makes her a valuable character to play with.

9. Sheva Alomar
I was excited to see RE’s first black protagonist in the form of Sheva Alomar, and I was not disappointed. Again, one of the action/horror video game tropes is to have the playable female character be weaker than her male counterpart and be more of a support role. However, Sheva was every part an equal to Chris, and was a female lead that girls and guys can definitely look up to. I would definitely love to see more Sheva in RE’s future because one game was not enough.

8. Billy Coen
If you have a thing for bad boys (lol me) then you would like Billy Coen. A wrongfully convicted felon on the run, Billy meets up with Rebecca Chambers and they work together to get through the horrors of Resident Evil Zero. I’m known to heavily prefer playing as the female character when given the option, but I ended up preferring to stick with Billy in this game. He was so cool, calm and collected, even when the world around him was falling to pieces. Plus, again… he’s a bad boy.

7. Jill Valentine
I’m sure Jill being at number seven may shock people, but hear me out. Like I said before, my introduction to RE was RE2, so my first character choice in badass females was Claire Redfield. If I were to discover RE1 or RE3 first, then I think Jill would be higher on the list. Jill was the very first female badass in this series, serving as the primary character in both of the aforementioned games. Jill is loyal, intelligent, and a mf go-getter. I mean, she took out Nemesis all by herself!

6. Leon Kennedy
Another name that people are probably expecting to be higher on the list is Leon S. Kennedy. I could probably attribute to this to my preference of Claire as well. In the original RE2, Leon seemed a bit dopey and naive; but from RE4 onwards, Leon had developed a more mysterious vibe that, while he has good and pure intentions, you still question whether he’s really that wholesome. And as mentioned before, we love a bad boy. Leon just has terrible taste in women. If she keeps zipping away from you, she’s not interested bro. Speaking of Leon and women, actually…

5. Ashley Graham
Definitely a name that people won’t expect to be on this list at all. What I loved about Ashley – besides the ‘Nikki loves hot blondes’ trope – is the fact that she’s realistic. Realistically if I was thrown into a zombie-filled city, I won’t be able to pick up a grenade launcher and gun down William Birkin like I was spending money at Gucci. Realistically, I couldn’t jump across buildings in a tube top and a skirt while also fending off Nemesis. I’m not equipped for that, and Ashley was portrayed as someone who was clearly not equipped for the horror that was presented to her. (Granted, I’d be able to do more than throw a lamp.) Plus, how iconic is her green plaid skirt and orange turtleneck outfit.

4. Carlos Oliveira
My love for Carlos really exploded with the RE3 remake. Let’s face it: in the original RE3, Carlos was sort of a forgotten character. He served his purpose and filled his role well as the loyal soldier who suddenly has to question everything they’ve been taught, but he was pleasant. And a pleasant soldier isn’t anything remarkable. In the remake, however, he was given a rugged new look with the most wonderful mop of hair I’ve ever seen, and his rough-tough exterior complimented his altered personality well. And good lord do I want Carlos to save me from a raging tyrant now.

3. Claire Redfield
My first introduction to the RE series came in Claire Redfield and her pink denim vest and shorts combo. In my opinion, Claire was dealt the roughest hand of all the major characters in the RE series: not only was she thrown into the dark with no real combat training, but she was also given the task to care for Sherry in RE2 and then Moira in Resident Evil: Revelations 2. To take care of yourself in an environment like this is hard enough, but to be entrusted with someone else’s child is another story, and Claire managed to do it twice while looking fierce AF. Claire is the cool biker chick we all wish we knew. RIP Elza Walker.

2. Chris Redfield
Would’ve easily been number one had it not been for one minor character, Chris is the poster boy for RE and it’s very easy to see why. The first male protagonist of the series, and the main character featured in most of the RE games, Chris is everything you would want in a survival horror game. He’s tough, he’s protective, he’s vigilant, and good lord is he hot. I mean, physically conditioned for the role. He’s likeable but not too unrealistic in his action-packed role, he’s the guy you would want on your team if you were thrown into a zombie-filled city. Plus I will punch on with anyone who criticises his RE5 re-design, because let me tell you right now that I’d much prefer to be protected by the boulder punching Chris than the awkward soldier boy haircut Chris.

1. Jessica Sherawat
This’ll shock everyone unless you really know me. Jessica Sherawat is everything that I am or want to be. She’s beautiful; she’s sassy; she’s stylish; and she’ll kick your ass in a one-legged wetsuit and heels. The fact that Jessica can go on a top class mission and still find time to flirt with her partner, wear phenomenal outfits, and mention her sweet ass really makes her the Diva of all Divas tbh. I would die for this Queen, and I’m anxiously awaiting for her return to RE gaming. Granted, she shouldn’t have betrayed the BSAA, but we all have faults. Come on guys.

Now I’m just picturing a new RE game where the main character is Jessica who tries to redeem herself with the good guys by embarking on some stylish adventure into zombie world. Yaaaasss bitch. Come through with the goods Capcom!

– by The Black Widow

Dating Nikki: The sexy selfie

Back at it with the Dating Nikki.

Hello blogosphere! It’s me again, providing you with unsolicited dating advice even though I’m notoriously single and patiently waiting for someone to turn me into a Real Housewife.

Today’s topic: the sexy selfie, or in NSFW words, the nude.

I’m sure if you’re over the age of 18 (and let’s be honest, some under the 18 unfortunately experience this) and you’ve been chatting to that guy/girl/genderqueer person and things are starting to get fairly heated between the two of you, the thought of sending them a suggestive selfie of yourself has popped into your mind.

Some people like to spice up their relationship by sending photos or videos to titillate the other. Some have to tough it out long distance and to keep the sexual chemistry alive, they choose to share their bodies over different media channels to keep that spark. Some are even capitalising off of materials like this with things like OnlyFans out there.

I’m gonna be frank here: I personally do not do nudes at all for my own reasons. But I don’t judge people who do wish to send them out.

So if you are one of those few, there are just a few things to consider if you are contemplating sharing your body in picture format with someone:

– The most important part: seek permission first. I shouldn’t have to say that consent is consent, but for the love of all that is holy, please ensure that you have the other person’s permission first before sending them your dong/box pic.
Make sure you trust the person. You are choosing to share a private part of yourself with someone, and in this day and age, you never know what they could do with that information.
– Be prepared to face the consequences. Should, heaven forbid, your nudes get out because the person you sent them to is a royal scumbag, then unfortunately you must prepare yourself for the consequences. The internet doesn’t forget, and once your nudies are uploaded on there, they won’t be forgotten. Take a nude and send it knowing that there is a slight possibility that your grandmother’s friend’s attractive grandson might see it, or that your prospective future employer might know what your titties look like.

Now we’ve gotten the dark side of nudes out of the way, let’s talk about the scintillating part:
Know what your partner likes. Your partner may prefer you to bare it all; they may prefer you to leave a tiny bit to the imagination. Depending on what they like, you may send them a cheeky underwear selfie, or a full blown box pic.
Respect each other’s boundaries. If you’ve just delved into the world of sexy selfies, you may not know what each other’s limits are. Your partner may have a limit, which could be related to the above point. If they’re not ready to see your full blown genitalia on full view, then respect that limit and work your way up to it should your relationship go in that direction.
Don’t be afraid to spice it up every now and then. You’ve gotten into the groove of communicating with your partner via sexy selfies, and now they’re wanting to shake things up a bit. Add a theme to your photos: maybe you’re a burlesque dancer at the Moulin Rouge; or you’re a sexy jungle ninja looking to ensnare your prey (IE your partner).

Now that you’ve read this post, please re-read the first point of seeking permission/consent first. I cannot drill that in enough.

Enjoy your nudes you filthy bunch of animals!

– by The Black Widow

If you have a question or need some good ol’ fashioned blunt advice from #DatingNikki, use the Contact page on our website and put in your comment “Subject: Dating Nikki”, or alternatively send me an e-mail at widowslure@gmail.com and put “Dating Nikki” in the subject line. I will respond to your cries for help as soon as possible!

My Life with Eyelash Extensions

Look who’s having a shot at beauty writing!

A few years ago, the most beautiful thing I had done was the occasional eyebrow waxing.

Now, potentially due to the large influence of my interest in the Real Housewives franchise, my beauty regime has become a bit more intense: I get my hair dyed once a month and cut once a fortnight, my nails done once a fortnight, my eyebrows waxed once every three weeks, and am known to wear the occasional slick of lip gloss every now and then. I also get two massages a month, but that’s a different story.

My most recent foray into the world of beauty enhancement came in the form of eyelash extensions. I’ve always admired thick hoe lashes, but the one time I’ve put on false eyelashes, I felt like they were weighing my eyelids down and I hated every second of it. But with the more ‘permanent’ feel of eyelash extensions, I was keen to give them a try! I found a Groupon voucher for a full set of lash extensions, so that was all the convincing I need.

Some shameless self promotion incoming.

As you can see, I look great with them.

I can say that about myself. It’s not conceited; it’s true.

If you’re looking at getting into eyelash extensions, let me ease your mind.

Here are some things I wish I knew about getting eyelash extensions before actually getting them:

– It takes a very long time to get them done initially. I read somewhere on a company’s website that you can fall asleep during your session, and I didn’t understand why you’d want to sleep during a quick half hour visit. But they aren’t quick. Getting extensions put in for the first time can take up to two hours depending on different circumstances. My session went for about 1.5 hours. I couldn’t seem to fall asleep during the session, so go into it tired because the time will zoom past if you’re genuinely knocked unconscious.
The difference will be super noticeable to you even if you’re going for a subtle look, to the point where you may be shocked by it. When I first looked in the mirror, I was horrified (or should I say hoerrified) because I genuinely thought I looked like a prostitute. But once you see the change, don’t react just yet; let it slide for a few days, maybe even a full week, so you can get used to them. Once you are used to them, you might come around to the look and even love them.
– Eyelash extensions are high maintenance. If you’re going to get them, get used to forking out money for them every two or three weeks to keep them going with regular infills.
Take good care of them. Your beautician will advise you to brush them daily, and they’re telling you for good reason. Brushing your lashes daily will get rid of any natural oils that build up which could cause the glue to dissolve and make your lashes fall off. Brushing them will also keep them in good shape in case they start bending or pointing in obscure directions.
– Speaking of listening to your beautician, listen to your damn beautician! Especially if this is your first time with them, they’ll give you some vital after care instructions, including not getting them wet for 48-72 hours.
Research your beautician before going to see them. I cannot stress this enough. Things can go wrong if you get a dodgy eyelash job. Search for testimonials, reviews, or friends recommendations when seeking out a suitable beautician. You do not want to be one of those cases that ended up getting lash lice, or faulty extensions that pulled your natural lashes out leaving you with bald eyelids.

Once you are used to your lashes and are thoroughly enjoying your new seductive look, let me just warn you that you will never go back to not having them on. Once my first set had started to fall off, it was like I looked bald and wouldn’t look fine until I had extensions back on.

Give them a try if you can! You won’t regret it!

– by The Black Widow

Romance On The Menu is Terribly Terrific

Can we just take a moment to appreciate the title Romance On The Menu? Iconic.

Last year I was bedridden with bronchitis, rhino virus and God knows what else, so I decided to use my time wisely by watching a bunch of films on Netflix and review them.

Now I’m bedridden with a dislocated coccyx so am unable to attend most of the physical activities and hobbies that occupy my time. With more time than usual on my hands, I’ve returned to my roots of reviewing Netflix films.

What’s on the menu today? Romance On The Menu!

I know right. I’m so funny I can’t even help it.

The attraction is alive and well. And I’m definitely referring to me and ol’ mate Cook here.

If the film title doesn’t give it away, Romance On The Menu is a romantic comedy recently released exclusively on Netflix. It stars Cindy Busby and Tim Ross as Caroline Wilson and Simon Cook respectively.

Let me just start by saying that if you’ve seen Falling Inn Love starring Christina Milian, then you’ve basically already seen this movie.

SPOILERS AHEAD. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Basically, this film follows the same plot as Falling Inn Love. Caroline, a chef at an upscale restaurant in New York, inherits a cafe from her late aunt in Australia. She decides to go over and fix up the place so she can sell it and return back to her life in New York.

Enter Simon Cook the handsome Australian cook (ba dum tsh). Like every romance movie ever, Simon and Caroline initially clash heads, but to the surprise of absolutely no one, they end up falling in love. There was also the classic ‘shirtless male lead scene for no apparent reason’ cliché in which Simon’s rig wasn’t overly impressive, but yolo because he’s cute anyway.

If you’ve read this far, then you basically know what happened in the rest of the movie. Caroline ends up not wanting to sell the cafe, her and Simon fall in love with each other, and then she ends up keeping the cafe but still wanting to retain her life in New York. And then ol’ mate Simon flies to New York and tells her how much he loves her and they kiss and fireworks spark off in the distance.

The end.

Now that that’s done. Let me tell you what I love about movies like Romance on the Menu. I’m well aware that if you choose to watch a cheesy romcom that looks like it belongs on the Hallmark channel that you shouldn’t expect a cinematic masterpiece. In saying that, I’ve never particularly enjoyed cinematic masterpieces, and the cheesier the romcom, the better!

You can tell just by looking at the movie promotional material what’s going to happen. You know that Caroline and Simon are going to end up falling in love before the movie has even started. The entire plot gives itself away after the first minutes of the movie. But that’s the thing with cheesy romance movies like this.

It’s not about the destination; it’s about the journey. And this journey was actually pretty entertaining. Like can we talk about how iconic the childish food fight scene was?

Let me tell you, I’m all for the casting of funny attractive Aussie actors in lead male roles in romance movies, and Tim Ross was amazing in his role. He and Cindy had fairly decent chemistry which is super important for a romcom because for me personally, I can see through faked chemistry very easily and it ruins my experience with the movie.

The hometown feel of the location is also very important for a film like this, and the supporting characters did give it quite a homely feel. The ‘meddling middle aged woman’ cliché in Marla did her role well (to the point that I found her genuinely irritating), and bless her for locking them in the pantry to provide us with the most iconic scene of the entire film.

Again, you can see the destination from a mile away, but when you watch movies like Romance on the Menu, let the journey take you down its path and enjoy it while you can.

P.S. Tim Ross, if you’re reading this… heeeeeyyyy.

– by The Black Widow