How to Talk Yourself out of a Fine

Posted in Lifestyle by

There is an art to talking your way out of a fine, whether that be for speeding, careless driving or something as little as driving with no plates on. Obviously, this will probably not apply to the heavier fines like going 100 km/h over the speed limit or driving on the wrong side of the road, but you can sure as hell try these tips if you want.

SolSat is here to save your pennies!

SolSat is here to save your pennies!

I’d like to think that I have experience in this department as I have successfully charmed my way out of two fines in my life. In one instance, I got my way out of a whopper by smiling, giggling, genuinely apologising for what I had done and charming the shoes off both of the officers that had stopped me. This may be awkward because I don’t even think I told my parents about these… oops.

Girls think that all they have to do is wear a low cut top and wiggle their chest around but unless they have a valid excuse to back that up, it’s not going to work. That is the key to talking your way out of a fine – you can’t just sweet-talk, you have to have an excuse. For example, if you were caught speeding, blame the other guy behind you who was honking at you to go faster. This is the foundation of getting out of a fine so when you see those lights and hear that siren, think of something – fast.

Another misconception of fine escaping is sucking up to the officer. Please don’t. They see right through that and will be quicker to slap a fine on you faster than you can say “You look very lovely tonight”. If you’re going to chat to the officer, be sorry – I mean absolutely sorry. Apologize for whatever you had done, throw in your excuse in there somewhere, say you’ll never do it again. Show through your actions how sorry you are. May I suggest dramatic hand gestures?

Now this may seem a little degrading or even ridiculous to some, but it wouldn’t hurt if you temporarily decreased your IQ by about 10 points when pulled over. The po-po are more likely to fine someone who is wildly aware of the crime they have committed but they’ll probably be more lenient on someone who is blissfully unaware of what they had done. Example: “I switched lanes without proper indication? Get out, I didn’t even notice”. Worked for me. In saying that, if you sound like you’re being facetious by saying “I didn’t know red meant stop”, then you will be fined. Blissfully unaware, not moronic.

Now for a piece of advice you are told in nearly every aspect of life: smile. Smile when they approach you, smile when they speak to you. Why? Because if you’re sitting there with a sullen look on your face looking like a great target for boxing practice, then they won’t want to deal with you and fine you so fast your head will be spinning. In regards to smiling, also speak positively to the police. Don’t cry “Wo is me!” for being pulled over. Keep up a happy disposition even though your insides are doing flips and you may just get out of losing a few hundred buckeroos. The police like it when you speak to them with respect.

The next time you are caught with reckless driving or doing something else unlawful on the roads, remember these easy tips and you may drive away scot free. Don’t forget to breathe and smile and greet the officer. And always remember: HAVE AN EXCUSE READY! SolSat won’t be there to help you.

– by The Black Widow

Review: Fifty Shades Darker

Posted in Books, Entertainment by

After making yet another visit to Dymocks today, I stopped and calculcated how much money I’ve spent at that one book store in the past fortnight. I couldn’t get an exact amount, but over $100 sounds pretty accurate. I love that I’m getting back to reading because I love having my brain stimulated… it also gives me something to review!

RELATED LINKS: Fifty Shades of Grey Review

The second installment of the Fifty Shades series.

The second installment of the Fifty Shades series.

I’m back again, this time reviewing the second lot of shenanigans that Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey face in Fifty Shades Darker. If you haven’t read the first book of the trilogy and really, really want to read it, I suggest you don’t read this as it may spoil some parts for you.

In Darker, we are in Anastasia’s perspective again, starting off as an emotional wreck after the heartbreaking events between her and Christian at the end of Grey. This novel takes place straight after the first and follows the events of Ana’s and Christian’s lives as they ultimately find their way back to each other.

The quality of writing, or lack of quality, was more apparent in this one. There are some parts within the novel that are so irrelevant to the story that it feels like it’s just there to fill space; I get that Ana has a life outside of Christian and I’m eager to read more about her life outside of Christian, but I get absolutely nothing from reading five paragraphs about her day at work. These paragraphs are written so shortly and bluntly, it’s obvious that the author was just dying to get back to the action when Ana and Christian were together or were e-mailing each other.

Anastasia, as a protagonist, is annoying as heck. Her inner goddess and subconscious unfortunately reared their ugly heads in this novel and it bugged me no further. It served no real purpose other than filling space on a page. I find Anastasia to be extremely one-dimensional with no depth or character. Christian, on the other hand, I adore; as a self-admitted hybristophiliac (not really, I’ve just always had a soft spot for those that are troubled), I find him to be the most interesting character of the book, which, in all seriousness, is not hard to achieve. I enjoyed that we got to know more about Christian’s past and why he is the way that he is. I really felt for the fictitious gazillionaire.

It had the same style of sophisticated and annoying writing as the first which was neither good nor bad. There was a part in the book where it was describing a view and I found it hard to picture what the author was trying to describe because instead of using simple words like “blues”, “yellows” and “oranges”, it had something like “vermillion” and “cerulean”. To me, those are the names of cities in the first series of Pokemon, not colours used to effectively describe to a casual reader.

As I was reading and I progressed through the novel, there were parts where it felt as if the author was writing and thought “Oh, let’s throw in something here”. In other words, some of the major dramas in the book didn’t seem like they were pre-planned and were just thrown in there as she was writing it for extra oomph.

The storyline was easier for me to connect to this time around because it was less centered on BDSM and more on love, which I love. The feelings that Ana and Christian have for each other in this novel were strong and I could feel that – but it didn’t have to be every fourth thing they said to each other. Actions, not words.

Solst-o-meter
Storyline: 7.2/10
Style of writing: 4.8/10
Overall: 5.6/10

Overall, I was a bit disappointed as I was in the first one. It’s the style of writing and the lack of character of Anastasia that is letting me down – the character of Christian and the storyline are the saving points for me. These saving points were made evident as I could not put it down as I was stuck in bed for the weekend.

I’m giving myself a break before reading the final book of the trilogy. I have a couple of other books waiting for my attention before I delve into the final events of Ana’s and Christian’s relationship. Until then.

– by The Black Widow

Tipping for Dummies: Round 24

Posted in Sports by

This one’s going to be short seeing as I’m sick and dying in bed right now. This stupid illness is even keeping me away from the Panthers-Broncos game tonight, one that I was looking forward to attending for months. Sadface. Welcome to Tipping for Dummies, Round 24!

 

Everybody's favourite "Tipping for Dummies!"

Everybody’s favourite “Tipping for Dummies!”

 

SolSat’s Prediction Count from Round 23: 6 out of 8 (75%)

Again. Again.

Friday 23rd August, 2013
Penrith Panthers vs. Brisbane Broncos
I’m still fuming that I can’t attend this game. Anyway, the Broncos have not been defeated since those vital changes were made while the Panthers momentum has gone downhill. No major changes on either side besides Tim Grant starting for Jeremy Latimore in the front row. Can the Panthers break the Broncos positive streak?

SolSat’s Prediction: Brisbane Broncos

No. No they can’t. The Broncos are chomping at the bits to get into the finals and that hunger is shown in their recent form with notable mention going out to Hoffman who is in his element at fullback – where he should’ve been in the beginning. I will be sure to cheer my boys on from the comfort of my bed.

South Sydney Rabbitohs vs. Canterbury Bulldogs
This will be an interesting one, seeing as both teams have the same home ground so the crowd support should be pretty even. Ben Lowe starts as lock for the suspended Jeff Lima on the Bunnies side and Tony Williams has been named to start in the second row on the Doggies side.

SolSat’s Prediction: South Sydney Rabbitohs

With the reinvigoration of getting Inglis and Sutton back, the Bunnies are back in top shape and will make good work of the Doggies. I don’t think the Doggies are too sure of themselves with the frequent changes to their side in recent weeks. Either way, this will be a bloody good one.

Saturday 24th August, 2013
St. George Illawarra Dragons vs. West Tigers
These two teams have had their finals dreams dashed a while ago but a win’s a win and both teams would definitely be gunning for the victory here. I’m still not over Matt Cooper retiring from footy… I just don’t wanna talk about it.

SolSat’s Prediction: St. George Illawarra Dragons

I think this is the first time I’ve predicted a Dragons win. Either way, in terms of better form, I’m going with the Dragons on this one. While both teams haven’t been great this season, the choice of the lesser evil of the two, the Dragons should win this one in a close bout. Especially considering Benji’s half-arsed performances as of late.

Gold Coast Titans vs. New Zealand Warriors

Meanwhile, in Queensland, the Gold Coast Titans take on the Warriors. On the Titans side, Albert Kelly returns from injury and slots back into his no.7 jersey, putting Sezer to five-eigth and Harrison back on lock. On the Warriors side, Ropati returns to the wing, Elijah Taylor moves to the second row and Todd Lowrie starts at lock. Both teams are hoping that these changes will prove vital to a victory.

SolSat’s Prediction: Gold Coast Titans

The Warriors who had incredible momentum in the middle of the season seemed to have died down recently, with less than stellar performances. The Titans on the other hand have been in excellent form recently and I see them taking the win here in a close match.

North Queensland Cowboys vs. Newcastle Knights
Another Queensland team that have their sights set on the finals and seem to be doing a pretty good job at getting there are the Cowboys who take on the Knights. The Cowboys are coming off a 12 point lead victory over the Titans while the Knights are coming off a loss against the Storm.

SolSat’s Prediction: North Queensland Cowboys

The Cowboys have been on a steamroller recently while the Knights have had a pretty tame season. As I said before, the Cowboys are as hungry as their rivals for a finals spot and that alone will lead them to victory over the Knights.

Sunday 25th August, 2013
Canberra Raiders vs. Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles
The Raiders have made a lot of changes to their side; Paul Vaughan and Shaun Berrigan will start pushing Joel Edwards and Glen Buttriss back to the bench. In saying that, Manly has made none. Both teams were on the losing end of the scales last week. Which team will change that momentum with a victory?

SolSat’s Prediction: Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles

One of the top contenders for the premiership would have to be the Eagles and that alone is the reason why I am predicting a Manly win. With exceptional players like Foran and Cherry-Evans on their side, I see them decisively taking the victory against the Raiders.

Melbourne Storm vs. Parramatta Eels
The team favoured to win the premiership takes on the team favoured to win the wooden spoon. The Storm haven’t made any changes to their side while the Eels haven’t named Hayne on their side.

SolSat’s Prediction: Melbourne Storm

Too easy to call. I see the Storm pulling out an easy victory here despite their tendency to be mismatched against the lower teams. Nothing more to say to that.

Monday 26th August, 2013
Cronulla Sharks vs. Sydney City Roosters
Both teams are coming off victories last week as the Sharks defeated the Dragons and the Roosters absolutely smashed the Tigers with a 42 point lead victory. On the Sharks side, Wade Graham returns in the second row and Andrew Fifita starts. On the Chookies side, Mitchell Aubusson moves to the centre and Aidan Guerra starts on the second row. Both Sharkies and Chookies are hoping to continue their uphill stride to the finals with a victory here.

SolSat’s Prediction: Sydney City Roosters

It may be too early to say but I see the Chookies making the grand final. Their form has been untouchable all season while the Sharkies have been up and down and that is why I see a Rooster’s victory to close up Round 24.

As always, here’s to a good round of footy and especially to a Broncos win tonight against the Panthers. I’m still burning that I won’t be able to go!

– by The Black Widow

Ridiculous Social Media Commenters

Posted in Lifestyle by

You may not notice it when you see it, but everyone has been subject to the viewing of ridiculous and sometimes stupid comments on all forms of social media. I was originally just going to write a post about the commenters who clearly have English as a second language and, regardless of the language barrier they face, still submit a comment in broken English that makes them look ignorant, even though it’s come from a good place.

Think before you write. Please.

Think before you write. Please.

However, after much pondering, I’ve realised there are several types of commenters that need to be charged for their crimes. Let the name and shame… begin!


The Clueless Commenter
As touched on above, the clueless commenter, whether that be for language barrier reasons or just plain ignorance, tend to make foolish comments, whether that be incidental or accidental, on publicly accessible posts, videos or pictures. Examples I tend to see a lot are on Facebook fanpages of celebrities.

Example: I am on Velvet Sky’s Facebook fanpage where it clearly states in the bio and the info that it is strictly a fanpage. I’m looking through the comments for an example to use and see an influx. Here are a few samples:

“I love u baby i wanna know you lover”
“you look good and like you”
“I love u u love me”
“I like your sexy body and want more sexy photos of your’s. Love you baby.”

I could keep going and going and retrieving examples of comments that come from a good place but are just so unnecessary. There were even several pictures posted on the wall of this fanpage of a guy posing… like, what relevance does that have with Velvet Sky? Sure, there’s a chance that Velvet Sky may one day visit this page and read the comments, but some of these comments seem to be addressing Velvet as if that’s her personal page. I don’t mean to be a bitch but it’s just embarrassing to read.

Please, users of social media, do not abuse the right to comment with such stupidity.

The “Like My Comment” Commenter
These commenters tend to frequent YouTube a lot and boy George do they get on my nerves. I don’t even have to go looking for a comment to get an example because you are bound to see one in every second YouTube video you watch. These are the ones that write obnoxious comments like “Like if you’re still listening in 2013!” and “I heart Love and Theft. Like my comment if you do too”.

On Facebook, they don’t come out as often as they do on YouTube but unfortunately, they are still there. “Like if you think the Broncos will make it to the top 8!” I don’t see why I have to justify my thoughts by liking someone else’s comment, but anywho.

People: don’t do this. Please, just don’t.

The YouTube Dislike Commenter
A close relative of the Like My Comment Commenter, the YouTube dislike commenter also seeks attention in the form of an ignorant comment. If you don’t get what I mean, here’s an example: the music video of Love and Theft’s Runnin’ Out of Air is on YouTube, you’re watching it, appreciating their musical genius, admiring how awesome they are… you scroll down to look at what others think of the song and video, and one of the first comments you see is “46 people are running out of air”. In reference to the fact that 46 people have disliked the video.

These commenters pop up everywhere unfortunately. If people want to waste their time trolling the Internet by disliking videos that have no real reason to be disliked, let them.

Also, if I may repeat myself, don’t do this. Please, just don’t.

The Excessive Enter-Pressing Commenter
I admit that one of my best friends is guilty of this and I have let it be known to her that it grinds my gears. These are the people who feel the need to express themselves in multiple small comments as opposed to keeping it wrapped in one neat, singular comment. Example? Let’s use “Brad” and “Sarah”.

Brad: Hey Sarah, haven’t seen you in ages. How are you?
Sarah: Good.
Sarah: Just finished uni.
Sarah: What about you?
Brad: I’m just relaxing in bed. We should catch up some time. When’s good for you?
Sarah: I don’t know.
Sarah: I’ll get back to you.
Sarah: When’s good for you?
Sarah: Lol.

STOP. That twitchy finger that has to press enter… STOP IT. It’s annoying and time consuming.

The Selfish Commenter
Exclusive to Facebook, these are the people who comment on other people’s statuses and/or posts and make it about themselves. Let’s use Brad and Sarah for this example:

Brad’s status:
Just got off the plane in Switzerland. Going to have a good time!
Sarah’s comment:
Yeah like when I went to Switzerland, I done all this amazing stuff and saw all these amazing places and landmarks. I ate this and this and this and drank this and this and this. I bought so much cool things. I want to go back to Switzerland.

Seriously, if you want to recount about how much of a great time you had in Switzerland, write your own status about it. Don’t hijack someone else’s. It’s annoying. What’s even worse is when people seek sympathy on other people’s posts by posting something ridiculous like a sadface or sad comment like “wish my life was that good”.

Just don’t.

I’m sure that there are more types of commenters out there who grind my gears but I think these will do for now. The right of expression and freedom of speech is an amazing thing and I’m glad we all have it. But please don’t abuse that right by saying stupid things in a social media environment.

– by The Black Widow