The Black Widow’s 30 Day Song Challenge

Having to remember to post a link to a song for 30 days is harder than it looks.

If you haven’t seen it around before (because I’m pretty sure these were floating around ages ago as well), there’s been a 30 Day Song Challenge fad surfacing on social media. What you do is you post a link to a song on your Facebook wall or Twitter profile with the day number and the reason why you’ve chosen said song. If it doesn’t make sense to you, it will soon.

30daysong

In honour of my 30 Day Song Challenge, I’ve decided to post it on here in its entirety, with a few comments attached to it so the reader can understand why I’ve chosen that piece of music.

Without further ado, here is my 30 Day Song Challenge:
Day 1 – Your favourite song
Sam Hunt – Cop Car. I have many favourite songs but this was the one that I thought of straight away. This song is so beautiful and knowing that bae (Hunt) originally co-wrote this for Keith Urban makes it that much greater.

Day 2 – Your least favourite song
Taylor Swift – Blank Space. I’ll keep my words short and sweet here, in fear of a defamation lawsuit, but I am not a fan of Taylor Swift.

Day 3 – A song that makes you happy
Sam Hunt – House Party. How could you not be happy when you listen to this song? I hate this music video though. So disappointed, Sam.

Day 4 – A song that makes you sad
Luther Vandross – Dance with My Father. In a similar manner, how can you not be sad when you listen to this song? I think of my father and start crying immediately.

Day 5 – A song that reminds you of someone
Chaka Demus and Pliers – Murder She Wrote. Tl;dr version of this story: for about the past seven years, I’ve called my best friend Rebecca “Maxine”, and it’s because of this song. It’s a nickname that actually sticks; I sometimes forget that her name isn’t Maxine.

Day 6 – A song that reminds you of somewhere
Ne-Yo – Can We Chill. My family had this album in our car for like the entire two years we lived in Goulburn, so now I have forever attached these tracks to my second favourite country town.

Day 7 – A song that reminds you of a certain event
Big and Rich – Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy). My first experience at CMC Rocks the Hunter was in 2013 and one of the headlining acts was Big and Rich, and they absolutely killed it with this song.

Day 8 – A song that you know all the words to
Nicki Minaj – Anaconda. Once rapped this entire song to my friend Cara on the way home from Manly. Was great.

Day 9 – A song that you can dance to
Little Big Town – Pavement Ends. Line dances for days.

Day 10 – A song that makes you fall asleep
Lana Del Rey – Ultraviolence. Dat soothing melody.

Day 11 – A song from your favourite artist
Love and Theft – Thinking of You (and Me). This was my first LNT song. Everyone knows that Love and Theft are my boys. Everyone should grab a copy of their new album Whiskey on my Breath, available February 10.

Day 12 – A song from a band you hate
5 Seconds of Summer – Amnesia. I can’t even describe how much I despise this song.

Day 13 – A song that is a guilty pleasure
Ariana Grande ft The Weeknd – Love Me Harder. Not a fan of Ariana, or the lyrics to this song, or even this Weeknd fella. But I love this song.

Day 14 – A song that no one would expect you to love
Megadeth – She Wolf. Being a country fan, no one expects me to like metal. But I do. And I have a special place in my heart for Megadeth.

Day 15 – A song that describes you
Ne-Yo – Beautiful Monster. My best friend said this song as soon as I asked “What’s a song that describes me?” Not sure if shade or compliment.

Day 16 – A song that you used to love but now hate
Iggy Azalea ft Rita Ora – Black Widow. This song is played too often on the radio and now I’m sick of hearing Rita Ora sing my alias name.

Day 17 – A song that you hear often on the radio
AronChupa – I’m an Albatraoz. I don’t even know what an albatraoz is, and I don’t want to know after hearing this ghastly song on the radio every five minutes.

Day 18 – A song that you wish you heard on the radio
Ashley Madison – Other than My Wife. Technically not a song, but I wish this ad was played on the radio. I don’t necessarily condone the message, but it’s so damn catchy.

Day 19 – A song from your favourite album
Love and Theft – Angel Eyes. Easily the best selling song from the album. I love my boys!!

Day 20 – A song that you listen to when you’re angry
Knife Party – Bonfire. It just sounds like an angry song, doesn’t it?

Day 21 – A song that you listen to when you’re happy
Paul Simon – You Can Call Me Al. How could you not be happy when listening to this song?!

Day 22 – A song that you listen to when you’re sad
Love and Theft – If You Ever Get Lonely. This song can make me cry almost instantly, as soon as I hear the intro.

Day 23 – A song that you want to play at your wedding
Ed Sheeran – Thinking Out Loud. Should I choose to get married and have a horrid wedding, this song will play. And I will proceed to do the entire dance.

Day 24 – A song that you want to play at your funeral
Love Spit Love – How Soon is Now? As soon as my coffin is being lowered into the ground, I want this song to be playing. And everyone can cry like Piper and Phoebe did at Prue’s funeral.

Day 25 – A song that makes you laugh
Rihanna – We Found Love. Tl;dr my best mate Alexia has a funny story pertaining to this song and I laugh every time I hear it.

Day 26 – Your birthday song*
Whitney Houston – I Will Always Love You. 29th January 1993 reprazent.

Day 27 – A song that you wish you could play
Frederic Chopin – Prelude in E Minor. I’ve always wished I could play this song on the piano. But I can’t. So.

Day 28 – A song that makes you feel guilty
Wiz Khalifa – We Dem Boyz. I think this is the same as a guilty pleasure?

Day 29 – A song from your childhood
Billie Piper – Because We Want To. Anyone who denies being a fan of Billie Piper as a child in the 90s is a fat liar.

Day 30 – Your favourite song at this time last year
Steve Grand – All-American Boy. I imagine this was my favourite song at this time last year because I always played it.

* The original 30 Day Song Challenge says day 26 should be “a song that you can play on an instrument”. However, the only song I can play is Mary Had a Little Lamb and I wasn’t about to put that up, so I changed it. Deal with it.

– by The Black Widow

Social media has ruined dating

“Oh my god, I can’t believe he has another girl in his Snapchat best friends!”

This one sentence is a prime example of how social media has ruined 21st century dating.

(EDITOR’S NOTE: after a lengthy absence, Solstice Satisfaction is back and sassier than ever. Keep tuning in to be entertained in that sassy way only SolSat can do)

Back in the day, couples were more focused on what to wear to their first date or what movie to watch or even what is the surname of their potential date. Now with social media – coupled with the fact that “social media stalking” can give you a ton of information on your date before you have even met him/her – people are more focused on how many girls he’s following on Instagram and why this one guy keeps liking all of her bikini pictures on Facebook.

"OMG he's seen my Snap but hasn't replied. He's SO cheating on me!"

“OMG he’s seen my Snap but hasn’t replied. He’s SO cheating on me!”

A couple of my girlfriends have expressed their concerns with their significant other because:
1) He has a picture with his ex on Facebook that he has neglected to delete or
2) He has other girls in his Snapchat best friends.

Girl bye, why is this even a problem? Even without social media, your fella/lady will still have other friends of the opposite sex. You just weren’t privy to this information beforehand because you couldn’t see what they were doing 24/7.

That’s where the major problem in social media/dating lies: at the touch of a button, you can see who someone is with, what movie they’re watching, what book they’re reading and where they are. All of that information in about 10 seconds tops. In a way, social media has made it “okay” to stalk someone to the point of knowing everything about them, even before they’ve met you. Sometimes you’ll find things that you wish you didn’t see and you will overthink the situation to the point where you have planned out an entire altercation with your loved one before it has even happened.

It’s important to remember that people will always have lives outside of you, so who cares if your boyfriend is following other girls on Instagram or if your boy Snapchats girls that aren’t you? Are you going to shut her out because he has a life? Are you going to withold sex from him because he talks to girls that aren’t you?

Sometimes ignorance really is bliss. Maybe it is better for everyone to settle their sweet horses down, hop in the river, and just go with the flow. Oh, and stop being a stalker.

That’s rich coming from me as I like to use my “investigative journalistic” skills on people sometimes, but at least I admit I’m a social creep.

I’m sure your relationship will be more enjoyable if you stay out of each other’s social lives.

– by The Black Widow

You Know What Sh!ts Me?: Facebook Laundromats

You know what really shits me?

Today’s topic: Facebook laundromats… in other words, people who constantly put their dirty laundry on Facebook.

When Facebook politely asks you in that little clever box at the top of your newsfeed “What’s on your mind?”, they don’t really want to know what’s on your mind. It is not an invitation to delve deep into your inner psyche and let it all out for the whole world and their pets to find out.

No one cares about your dirty laundry. Not this chick. She's reading a book. (SOURCE: Gideon's Flickr photostream)

No one cares about your dirty laundry. Not this chick. She’s reading a book. (SOURCE: Gideon’s Flickr photostream)

Some people have trouble differentiating between what is appropriate to post on Facebook and what isn’t appropriate… and uploading a status talking about how your boyfriend left you and you wish nothing but death upon him is actually very inappropriate. But who cares? Whatever works, right?

WRONG.

What you are doing is creating unnecessary drama by putting your personal problems out there for everyone to see. What you are doing is giving people more ammunition to use against you in case the opportunity ever arise. What you are doing is making a complete fool of yourself by turning to social media for sympathy when your best friend is just a simple phone call away.

My philosophy on this is simple: if you are my friend, I care about you. If you have a problem, I will do my best to help you with your problem. If you post this problem on Facebook and expect sympathy from me, stop wasting your time because zero fucks are given about your issue when you’re waving it around on social media.

You know the saying (however it goes)… “people don’t care about your problems, they just want to know what’s going on.” It applies to this very case. What you may think is a very cryptic status could very well paint a larger picture than you intended. “Feels alone :(” could easily translate into “My girlfriend won’t spend time with me because I’m an arsehole and now I regret it.” Your attempt at being incognito failed. Maybe you would have been better off not saying anything at all, huh?

What shits me even more is when these people who air their dirty laundry for the world to see are confused as to why people think it’s okay to involve themselves into their drama. I don’t know, whose fault is it – the idiot who made it publicly viewable for everyone to see and therefore have an opinion on, or Barney the dinosaurs? Definitely not Barney. If you don’t want people to involve themselves in your personal drama, DON’T INVOLVE THEM BY PUTTING IT ON SOCIAL MEDIA. It’s really quite simple, actually.

If you have problems like I’m sure everyone does, seek out help personally. Even if we live in the digital age, driving to your mate’s place or calling your mum late at night to help you has not gone out of fashion. In fact, I’m sue you could resolve a problem easier that way than asking however many Facebook friends you have for advice because they won’t care… they’ll just want to know what’s going on.

So, everyone on Facebook, I have five words for you that should have a long-lasting effect on you: think about what you post.

– by The Black Widow

Friendships Defined by Facebook Birthday Messages

When you see someone you know at the shops or something, you either think “Oh crap, turn around before they see you” or “Hey it’s Joe, I should go say hello to him.” When you’ve approached Joe, however, you’re stuck as to whether or not you should shake his hand, hug him, give him a good ol’ arse pat or kiss him on the cheek.

I should name this... "Noah's Friendship Theory".

I should name this… “Nikki’s Friendship Theory”.

Exactly when does someone become so close that they graduate from wave to handshake and handshake to hug? Well, I thought about this and I’ve figured it out – the level of love you have for a friend of yours can easily be found by the intensity of a birthday message you write to them on Facebook.

Here’s my theory (and for the examples, I’ll be using “Samantha”):

Wave and/or Smile
These are for people you kind of know but aren’t too close with. These are the ones you’d either “forget” to write to on their birthday, or you’d write something along the lines of:

Happy birthday Samantha.
Happy birthday!
Have a good one!

You don’t love them enough to put in a smiley face or a love heart or some level of enthusiasm to this message, therefore they would be categorised into “Wave and/or Smile”.

Handshake/Fistbump/Hi-five
These are the people who are your friends but you wouldn’t go out of your way to hang with them one on one in case of awkward silences and small talk. You would make an effort to write to these people on their birthday, however a high level of enthusiasm will not be present.

Happy birthday Sammi! Have a solid one!
Happy bday Samantha ❤
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 🙂

They have enough brownie points with you to garner a kind love heart or smiley face or even capital letters, but that’s it. Don’t be bothered going out of your way to write them a birthday paragraph on how much they mean to you.

Manhug or Awkward Hug-Pat
The awkward hug-pat, when you hug someone but you aren’t that comfortable so you pat them on the back awkwardly to “show some level of affection”, is a step up from a handshake. This one’s interchangeable, I guess; I have known one of my best friends (Rachel) for six years and we’ve been through a lot together and she still hug-pats me, much to my disappointment. These are your good friends that you haven’t established that strong, solid connection with yet. An example of their birthday message would be:

Happy birthday Samantha! Hope all your wishes come true! Love you.
Happy birthday to you Samantha. I hope you get absolutely shitfaced tonight!

These people warrant more than one sentence so that’s definitely saying something.

Bearhug, Cuddle and Kiss
These are your best friends or the friends that you are so close to that you share the same wardrobe. You have a clearly established relationship with this person and you are not worried to share your feelings with them, as such:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAMANTHA YOU HOT BITCH. WOOOOO CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU TONIGHT!!
Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Samantha, happy birthday to you! Love you baby girl ❤

You may even want to go that extra mile for this person and post a status on your wall dedicated to their birthday, talking about how much you love them, and maybe even add a cute picture of you two for extra oomph.

So next time you see Joe down the street and you think “How do I greet him?”, just think, “What would I write on his Facebook wall on his birthday?” Problem solved. You’re welcome.

– by The Black Widow