Why I Don’t Support Kim Kardashian

Last week, Kim Kardashian attempted to break the internet with a couple of naked pictures. Little did she know, my internet was working fine with no faulty connections.

If you ask me in person whether or not I like the Kardashians or anyone commonly associated with that family, I would express my feelings with very colourful language and the fact that I do not like them will be made very clear. As this will be published online, however, I do have to express myself in a more calm and fair manner.

From my limited marketing knowledge, Kim Kardashian as a brand is successful. Her face is plastered everywhere, her products are doing swimmingly well, and she makes it on the front page of tabloids for merely licking an envelope. However, Kim Kardashian as a person, I don’t believe she can claim any success whatsoever.

Did anyone's internet actually stop working?

Did anyone’s internet actually stop working?

To my knowledge, she was first introduced to the world of celebrity for being Paris Hilton’s lap dog and part-time slave, and then her and Ray J (who, if you asked me what song he sung, I wouldn’t be able to name one) decided to make a sex tape complete with horrid fake noises, and then her and her family decided to make a reality show of their drama-filled lives which I personally do not envy in the slightest, and then there were “those pictures“.

With all of the things that I’ve mentioned above – granted I have missed out portions of her life – where does “talent” come into play? For me, as a journalist-in-the-rise, the only way I would want to be a household name is if it were attached to my skill as a writer or a content producer. Not because I’m really good at taking my clothes off, or I dated someone who was famous and now all of a sudden people are following me.

In that same vein, I can’t put her husband in the same boat. As much as I dislike Kanye for his attitude and superior God complex, the man is talented. As heck.

I don’t see the talent in following a hotel heiress around, doing everything she asks, and I don’t see the talent in recording a sex tape. (Unless you manage to hold the camera for the entire duration and not make it awkwardly shake… that would be talent.)

We as a society have gone from idolising true legends of cinema like Grace Kelly and awe-inspiring musicians like Elvis Presley, to girls with nice bodies who take nude photos for a magazine. If this one sentence doesn’t illustrate the entire point of this article, then I have failed as a blogging journalist.

I’m not trying to shade those who do support Kim Kardashian. I say “to each their own” and have at it. I would just prefer to use my time idolising someone who is great at what they do and is also a decent person like Brisbane Broncos’ Corey Parker, for example, than someone who’s in the spotlight for no apparent reason other than she is Kim Kardashian.

Let’s not beat around the bush. If you had to list four talents Kim Kardashian has shown during her time in the spotlight, you’d be hard pressed to name even a couple. It’s kind of sad how society’s views of admiration are diminishing so that seemingly pointless celebrities like her are gaining a cult following.

Oh well. I’ll just sit here and quietly admire the likes of Elvis Costello and Billie Piper. Y’all can have the Kardashian family.

– by The Black Widow

Hitchcock’s Hotties

In an attempt to make myself seem and feel more cultured, I have embarked on a movie journey, watching and re-watching Hitchcock films, one movie a night. Alfred Hitchcock, despite being a troubled and eccentric director, is definitely my favourite movie director in the history of cinema. Sorry Spielberg.

While watching movies such as Dial M for Murder and Strangers on a Train, I couldn’t help but notice just how damn attractive the main actors and actresses were. I don’t know whether this is because being that beautiful was the norm during the 50s or because over time, we have just become uglier and uglier (unless your name is Jase Dean). Either way, I feel as if the actors and actresses of today’s generation need to step their game up compared to the likes of these hunks and bombshells.

Naturally, I felt the need to rank these amazing guys and girls in order of personal preference. If you aren’t familiar with Hitchcock’s films, prepare to be wowed. Some of these stars were in more than one Hitchcock film and some of them only appeared in one. Either way, I still consider them Hitchcock’s stars.

The Boys
5. Farley Granger
This handsome bloke was featured in two of Hitchcock’s films, Rope and Strangers on a Train, the latter being one of my favourites. Granger has this innocent, cute boyish charm about him, sure, but you want to know the cutest thing about this guy? He was with his partner Robert Calhoun from 1963 all the way to his death in 2008. Longevity in a Hollywood relationship is a rare gem, so that definitely boosts Granger up the list.

4. Sean Connery
I really shouldn’t have to explain what makes Sean Connery attractive. You have the choice of his dashing good looks, his sculpted body or his “Connery voice”. If you’re surprised that Connery is on this list, he just made the cut, appearing in one of Hitchcock’s last films Marnie. Despite one questionable scene in the film, Connery is just as charming in the film as he is in general.

3. James Stewart
As the kids nowadays would say, dat drawl tho. One of Hitchcock’s legends, Stewart appeared in four of Hitchcock’s films – Rope, Rear Window, The Man Who Knew Too Much and Vertigo. While Stewart is a handsome man with a gentleman charm to him, his distinctive drawl voice was probably the sexiest thing about this cinema legend. If you want a modern sample, a snippet of his voice can be heard in McFly’s Love is Easy song around the 2:46 mark. Game, set and match.

2. Cary Grant
Probably Hitchcock’s greatest male protege, Cary Grant is also featured in four of his films – Suspicion, Notorious, To Catch a Thief and North by Northwest. If the picture isn’t enough to show you just how damn attractive this man is, may I suggest you rent To Catch a Thief from your local video store and watch the scene where he comes out of the water at the beach and lays down on the sand, rather suggestively might I add. You’re welcome.

1. John Gavin
Unfortunately for us, John Gavin only appeared in Hitchcock’s Psycho, but at least you got a good shirtless glimpse of this Hispanic hunk (alliteration 101). I don’t really need to explain why he is number one on the list. Just let the picture and your subsequent Google stalking speak for itself.

The Girls
5. Doris Day
With a face like that and a voice equally as beautiful, it should be no surprise that this bombshell is on the list. Day appeared in The Man Who Knew Too Much and is probably most well known for the song Que Sera, Sera (Whatever Will Be, Will Be) which was made for the suspense film. If you want to have a listen to Day’s original version of the song, here’s a quality link.

4. Janet Leigh
The third star from Psycho to be included in this list, Janet Leigh played the all important role of Marion Crane in the film, which earned her a Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actress. Besides the all important shower scene, Leigh appears at the beginning of the film in her bra alongside a shirtless John Gavin, which I am assuming was the back-in-the-day equivalent of a full on nude scene today. An interesting note: Janet Leigh is the mother of Jamie Lee Curtis, who went on to become a Scream Queen in her own right.

3. Kim Novak
Not at all related to Jack Novak, Kim Novak is best known for appearing in Hitchcock’s Vertigo. While her character was originally a brunette, there’s no denying that Novak looked better as a (Hitchcock) blonde. If watching this blonde bombshell babe isn’t motivation enough for you to watch Vertigo, let me tell you this – the film is one of my personal favourites just because it took me nearly a whole day to understand what happened in it.

2. Tippi Hedren
One of my personal favourite actresses, Tippi Hedren has the acting ability to match her stunning good looks. It’s no surprise that Alfred Hitchcock was obsessed with her (depending on which series of events you want to believe). Beautiful Miss Hedren was featured in two of Hitchcock’s greatest films, The Birds and Marnie, the latter of which is widely considered as Hitchcock’s last great. In my opinion, it’s because Tippi Hedren is a legend.

1. Grace Kelly
To those who know me well, it shouldn’t be a surprise that this cinema goddess is number one. If perfection were personified in any human being that has ever walked this earth, it would be Grace Kelly. Without a doubt Hitchcock’s most popular actress, Kelly appeared in three of his films – Dial M for Murder, Rear Window and To Catch a Thief. Words cannot express just how beautiful Miss Kelly is. It is no surprise that Kelly won the heart of Prince Rainier III of Monaco and subsequently became Princess Grace of Monaco. Kelly’s legend still lives on; one of the most mainstream examples of this would be MIKA’s song Grace Kelly.

I really think that this article alone should motivate people to partake of the genius that is Alfred Hitchcock’s cinema legacy. Excellent storylines, great films and, of course, hot men and women. One more time: you’re welcome.

– by The Black Widow