We’re back with some more Real Housewives Content!
As Sydney is currently in lockdown
because people can’t just stay tf home, I’ve had a lot of spare time on my hands. This means that my task to finish all 13 seasons of Real Housewives of Atlanta which would’ve normally taken me probably a full year has nearly been done in four months, my mind is bursting with some iconic RHOA quotes like “Bye ashes!” and “The lies! The lies! The lies!”
During the 13 seasons of Real Housewives of Atlanta, they have featured 15 main cast housewives, which again does not include the “friends of” Queens like Marlo Hampton and Tanya Sam, or the guest appearances from people like “that bitch” Yovana. Or Jovana. Whatever. I don’t know her.
Much like I did with the Housewives of Beverly Hills, I will be ranking the Housewives of Atlanta in order of how much I stanned them or how much I absolutely detested them. Except I will be doing this myself as Emilie hasn’t watched RHOA. Sadface.
So here it is. RHOA’s bombshells ranked!
15. Kenya Moore
Probably the easiest placement on this list. It’s said that you’re either Team Porsha or Team Kenya, and I cannot fathom how anyone could be Team Kenya. She’s a deluded shit-stirrer who provokes people and then acts surprised when they react. She’ll do anything to be the centre of attention, and not in a cool way either, and she can’t support her friend’s happiness if it isn’t about her. Kenya is gone with the dust storm at the bottom of this list.
14. Kim Zolciak-Biermann
If Kenya wasn’t featured on this show, then Kim would easily be at the bottom of this list. If Kenya is the Princess of deluded, then Kim is the Queen. Granted, her drags of the other women were way more entertaining than Kenya’s, and when it was Kenya vs. Kimn I found myself on Kim’s side.
13. DeShawn Snow
This rating comes from a lack of getting to know DeShawn. She was only featured in the first season which had like eight episodes. I thought she was sweet and cute and would’ve loved for her to hang around longer.
12. Kim Fields
I loved Kim Fields. I thought she was fabulous and was a nice refined change from the usual RHOA messy drama. However I didn’t think she was good fit for the show solely because she was a change from the usual RHOA messy drama. But don’t get it twisted: she’s Kim Fields, bitch.
11. Claudia Jordan
I thought Claudia was a nice addition to the RHOA franchise, and I especially enjoyed how she had no shame in reading people. She didn’t contribute much to storylines, however, and her biggest impact on the show was her being self-conscious about her toes. Also she loses a few point for being friends with Kenya.
10. Lisa Wu
If Lisa had stayed on the show for a few more seasons, she would’ve flourished and would’ve easily been found higher on this list. She wasn’t about the drama but wasn’t scared to drag a bitch if she had to. Plus, she loves money as much as I do. Yay her.
9. Nene Leakes
I have a very strong love-hate relationship with Nene. For one, I admire how outspoken and outgoing she is and find her energy to be really infectious; she really was the life of the show in each season she was featured in. In saying that, however, I find her to be quite narcissistic and manipulative, and if things don’t go her way she tends to drag everyone else around her down.
8. Phaedra Parks
Ms. Phaedra Parks was not high up on my list after her first season or two. She was too secretive and kept her cards close to her chest, and was almost as deluded as Kenya. But then in the later seasons she let loose and became one of the more fun ones, almost as much as Porsha. Making up really defamatory rumours about Kandi, however, prevents her from going any higher on this list.
7. Shamari DeVoe
Let me put this out there: I thought Shamari was a fantastic addition to the cast, and I don’t know how producers thought to get rid of her in favour if a returning Kenya. She was not scared to be herself, and there was something about her that was just so fabulous. Also we love drunk Shamari. Bring her back. Get rid of Kenya.
6. Sheree Whitfield
Sheree is someone else I started off not liking, but then after season one I came to really like her. Her shade is better than anyone else’s – I mean, who can get past “Who gon’ check me boo?” – and in the production sense of the show, she was not afraid to stir up some drama. She ain’t called the Bone Collector for nothing.
5. Kandi Burruss
I love Kandi. I think she’s someone to be looked up to by all. She’s a savvy businesswoman who loves her family, loves her children, and loves the freedom of expression and to be yourself. I also admire her ability to stay out of the drama – “won’t start none, won’t be none” – but by far her best quality is the ability to talk about sex openly. Sex is a conversation I want to be more accessible for people, and Kandi (Koated Nights) is helping forge that path.
4. Drew Sidora
Drew was the reason I started watching RHOA in the first place. When I saw she had been cast in Season 13, my interest piqued because I loved her prior to the show, so that’s when I chose to watch the show. I thought she was a fun addition to Season 13, and her battles with LaToya really made the season. Well, that and the infamous Dungeon Party.
3. Porsha Williams
If my constant dragging of Kenya didn’t make it obvious, I’m all for Team Porsha. Porsha is an enigma; there are really no words to describe her because she is just such an individual. In her first season, she was a much more reserved version of herself, no doubt because of her then-husband, but once that broke off, the fun, wild and energetic Porsha that everyone grew to love emerged, and we love that bitch.
2. Cynthia Bailey
Cynthia is everything I want to be. She’s stunning; she’s fabulous; she’s successful; and she’s Cynthia Bailey. Now what else is going on? Cynthia is one of the more level-headed women of RHOA who will get into it if she has to, but prefers to stay outside of the drama. And that’s something that’s really to be admired, especially on a reality show where’s it kind of expected to start shit for no reason.
1. Eva Marcille
Obsessed is an understatement. If Cynthia Bailey is everything I want to be, Eva is that and some more. Well spoken, absolutely stunning, and
the shadiest queen of them all a complete sunflower, Eva hits the top of my list as my favourite Housewife of Atlanta. While she has gone out and said she won’t be returning to the franchise, I hope she changes her mind. She was a great addition to the cast, and absolutely knew how to handle herself in a tense situation. Women always have trouble in their first season of the show as their lives are thrown into the spotlight, but Eva handled probably the best out of any of the above women.
Did you have a different set of rankings to us? Who was your favourite housewife? Let us know in the comments!
– by The Black Widow