Six Iconic Moments of Old School Runescape

Admit it. You loved Runescape as much as every other kid did.

A girlfriend and I have since rediscovered our love for the iconic MMORPG game and have been playing the oldschool version again, which you can find at this link. Since the game has since updated to accommodate the younger generation, I decided to list the things that made the old school version so iconic.

Doesn't this just bring back pleasant memories?

Doesn’t this just bring back pleasant memories?

From smithing your first bronze plateskirt to following someone around so you didn’t have to click your own way to a destination, these are the six moments that stood out to me as Runescape’s finest.

1. Finishing the damn tutorial island
If you are like me – and most Runescape players will empathise here – then you are not content with making just one account. Instead, you want to make several. (Some of my past horrendous accounts include “Daphne Bijou”, “Farah Hilary” and “Angelina Luv”). But what awaits every new character in the game is the tutorial island. Sure, it comes in handy if you’re new to the game and basically teaches you how to survive Runescape, but if you’re on your 50th new character, then you don’t want to be in tutorial island. At all. You have tried to speed through the island, and the other noobs around you are wondering why you are moving at such a high speed, because you just want to get to the nitty gritty, which brings me to my second point.

2. Levelling up at the cow farm
Now I acknowledge that there are probably several other farm-related places with cows you can use to level up, but I am talking about THE cow farm; the one that’s just off Lumbridge where Gillie Goats the milk maiden is waiting with two untouchable milkable cows. If you went somewhere else to level up your new level three character, you’re lying; everyone and their dog came here to start off their battle skills. You could spend hours or even days in this one place, slaying these poor innocent cows, picking up their bones and burying them, and then taking their meat remains to cook and eat. I mean, there’s nothing cruel about eating beef while killing a cow, right?

3. The Wilderness
Remember when it was possible to accidentally wander into the Wilderness and then you were confused as to why other players were killing you? For those of you who may not know, the Wilderness was the only set location where PvP action was allowed. In other parts of the Runescape world, you are not allowed to harm other players. I remember once following some dude who promised to give me Runescape money, only for him to take me to the wilderness and kill me with one slice of the sword. Lesson learned: don’t follow strangers who offer you money in a video game.

4. The Stronghold of Security and its colourful reward
An interesting way Runescape taught its players about account security was through the Stronghold of Security, which was a four level “labyrinth” that consisted of magical gates that you could only pass if you knew the answer to a question regarding account security. Some of these questions would range from “Where can you find cheats to Runescape?” to “Your friends wants to use your account to pass a quest. Do you let them?” (DISCLAIMER: paraphrasing here.) You would pass through the gates while avoiding or battling against the monsters in the labyrinth (these monsters would grow increasingly more difficult the further down you went, so avoiding them was generally the way to go), and at the end of each level came a prize. The prize at the bottom floor of the Stronghold Security? A choice of boring brown boots, or SUPER DUPER COOL RAINBOW ONES.

5. Random events
As the name suggests, these were seemingly random and could happen to you anywhere at anytime. Basically, you could be strolling through the lands of Runescape and then a creature or person would appear out of thin air, offering you some sort of service or gift. If you chose to talk to them, you would be taken off to some other world where you are told to complete a task for a reward. Some of these prizes included Runescape money, a Princess gown and a Frog head. There was no real point to these, unless you’re like me and you desperately wanted the sexy brown short shorts with the long white socks for your character. Which I still don’t have. Tear.

6. The run to your grave
So not everyone is lucky, and sometimes you will get into a battle and come out the losing end. It’s a video game. That’s fine. Respawning is always a thing… except for one small problem: if you die, you drop everything on you besides the two most valuable things in your possession, and you have about 60 seconds to get back to the spot where you died to gather the rest of your belongings before they disappear into thin air. If you had a friend nearby the time you died, you could get them to “bless your grave”, which gave you more time to run back to your grave. If you don’t make it back in time? Well, there go your belongings, and you have to start all over again.

If this article has enticed you to re-join the game, please send me a message and add me as a friend so we can get lost in the Wilderness together. Don’t worry. I won’t savagely attack you…

– by The Black Widow

Review: Cartel

A book I picked up willy nilly in a cheap bookstore turned out to be one of the most confronting pieces of literature I have ever read.

I present to you: Cartel by Lili St. Germain, the first in a series of novels that isn’t for the faint-hearted. It is important that I note that this is first novel of St. Germain’s that I have read, and I have not delved into the Gypsy Brother series yet.

Cartel is a dark romance novel that follows a young 19-year-old Colombian girl Mariana Rodriguez who, despite having big plans for herself, is the daughter of a selfish drug lord. After her father loses an expensive shipment of cocaine, Mariana offers herself to his boss as payment for the lost drugs, and Mariana’s life changes dramatically. She expects the worst – forced prostitution, drug trafficking, even death – but what she doesn’t expect is to fall in love with the wrong guy, Dornan Ross.

This dark cover reflects the contents of the book. Be warned

This dark cover reflects the contents of the book. Be warned

I like to consider myself as pretty open-minded; you can tell me any extraordinary or odd thing you have done, and I won’t bat an eyelid or judge you. This book, however, was really confronting and I found myself quite scared of the darkness contained in this book. I had even ,contemplated putting it down and not finishing it because of its contents, but alas, I finished it. St. Germain did her research into the world of drug dealing, drug lords and everything drug related, because this novel unfolded as if it was happening right in front of me.

The amount of sexual violence and just general physical violence in this novel made me cringe, not because of the detail in which it was described, but because I know that somewhere out there, this kind of thing is real, while I sit in my double bed in a modest suburban house in east Australia.

The character of Mariana was brave, strong-willed and fearless when it mattered most, but deep down she was afraid and true to her young age. It was because she was fabulously flawed that I really liked her. I liked how her internal, insecure thoughts juxtaposed her strong demeanour, and that in the face of death (literally), she wasn’t scared. While I acknowledge how the character of Dornan Ross could be book boyfriend worthy, the darkness and malice in him turned me off, as it should have. He has some inner demons that he needs to deal with and until he does so, the dark relationship between him and Mariana cannot have a happy ending, which is where this series is heading, I imagine.

St. Germain writes with such a gritty attention to detail that yes, I repeat, I was considering putting this book down. I read this book cover-to-cover in one day because I was so enthralled with the storyline and couldn’t wait to find out what happened next, how Mariana and Dornan’s relationship evolved, and whether or not she would survive until the end.

Wid-o-meter
Storyline:
8.2/10
Style of writing: 7.4/10
Overall: 7.8/10

A compelling start to a promising book series, Cartel is a book that you should read, only if you have a strong stomach. I look forward to reading the rest of the series, along with other St. Germain novels.

– by The Black Widow

Artist Spotlight: Justin Bieber

Surprise. An article about the ever-rising superstardom of Canadian not-so-young-anymore heartthrob, Justin Bieber.

It would be foolish of me not to capitalize on Bieber’s explosion in popularity, right?

The artist of the month featured in the month of January is Justin Bieber.

I never thought I'd see the day where I'd willingly save a picture of Justin Bieber onto my computer.

I never thought I’d see the day where I’d willingly save a picture of Justin Bieber onto my computer.

Admittedly, I am not a fan of the man they call Justin Bieber. I don’t really follow his every move like the Beliebers out there, I don’t really listen to his music, nor am I a big fan of his apparent Diva attitude. What I can admit to, however, is that the recent change in his sound has caught the attention of a more grown-up audience, and for good reason as well. Justin Bieber isn’t a boy anymore. He’s a man. And other grown ass men around the world are acknowledging that.

This babyfaced blond was first discovered on YouTube (it seems like every bloody artist nowadays is discovered on YouTube, and here I am tone deaf with no concept of pitch whatsoever). He was soon signed to a record deal and released his first album in 2010, where he recorded typical teeny bopper pop songs like Somebody to Love and the infamous Baby featuring Ludacris. His babyface, my-voice-hasn’t-cracked-yet vocals and typical teenager charm caught the attention of young impressionable girls worldwide, and the Biebs became a hit.

Of course, you can’t possibly be liked by everyone, and as much as Bieber was adored, he was despised by a more mature audience.

Apparently, Bieber didn’t stick to his goody two-shoes image too long, and he chose to go down a more risky path. In 2012, Bieber released his third studio album, Believe. The single As Long As You Love Me featuring Big Sean included a more adult video clip, including scenes of Bieber being beat up by his girlfriend’s disapproving father (I actually laughed at this. I’m a terrible person.) After these more adult-y songs, it would be expected that Bieber would be more well received, right? Well, other than the ridiculously catchy song Boyfriend, adults still didn’t respond well to the Biebs.

Fast forward to 2016, and now this meme could not be any more accurate.

This is truth.

This is truth.

So what happened in between the release of Believe and today? Bieber’s fourth album, Purpose. The cover art should spell it out for you, really; Bieber isn’t a boy anymore, and he wants to let people know that. This album featured hit after hit after hit, with my most favourite being Sorry, where the video clip features an old family friend New Zealand dance extraordinaire Parris Goebel and her dance crew. Compare Bieber’s first album to his most recent, and you can clearly see the evolution that the Canadian has gone through.

With only four studio albums to his name, it’s surprising that the man has amassed such an empire and mass following, and it doesn’t seem like his popularity is stopping any time soon. I mean, today it was reported that he had dyed his hair purple. Like, this is headline stuff right here. I dyed my hair bright red once, and no one wrote about that… tear.

I acknowledge that Bieber has come a long way since his Bieber-hair days, and does have the talent that warrants this much attention, but I am quite content to sit here listening to Kacey Musgraves tbh. Y’all can have Bieber.

– by The Black Widow

Review: Beautiful Player

I haven’t done a book review in a while. Let’s hope I haven’t forgotten how to do it…

Back to Widow’s Lure, the Beautiful series by dynamic duo known as Christina Lauren returns with the fifth installation, Beautiful Player. Much like Beautiful Stranger did for Chloe’s friend Sara, Player explores the life of Bennett’s friend Will Sumner and his best friend’s little sister, Hanna Bergstrom.

Will was the object of Hanna’s childhood fantasies while Will barely noticed Hanna or “Ziggy” when she was a barely legal teenager. Years later, Hanna is stuck too much into her work. After being urged to have more of a social life from her brother, Hanna enlists the help of her long lost friend Will to kickstart a social life and, in true Christina Lauren fashion, the two embark on a very unique and sexually-driven relationship.

As if these book covers aren't enough to get you.

As if these book covers aren’t enough to get you.

This book was very true to its authors. It was filled with sex, sex, sex, and more no-nonsense sex. The friendship agreement between Will and Hanna was very different, and that was what kept me entertained while reading this novel. I mean, like, I don’t generally take my strictly friends into a room at a party and give them pleasure with my hand, and then act as if nothing happened. To each their own, though, of course.

As is well documented in my book reviews, I tend to find romance novel heroines irritating, but I found Hanna to be quite real. I have no filter when it comes to the words that come out of my mouth, and Hanna evidently suffers from the same mental disability problem I have, so I related to her on a personal level, moreso than Chloe or Sara.

On the contrary, I wasn’t remotely attracted to the character of Will at all. I don’t know whether it was his personality, the way or he was written, or maybe I’m suffering from some book-boyfriend-no-no-syndrome, but I found him to be quite bland. I did like how he kept referring to Hanna as “Plum”, but that was about it. Sorry Will. Not everyone can be Bennett Ryan. Sa-wooooooon.

Christina Lauren stay true to their style of writing, keeping the pages of this novel full of detail when it comes to the sexcapades of the two protagonists, while making sure to inform the reader that this isn’t just another throwaway erotica piece with no detail to real life outside of raunchy bedroom romps. Their use of imagery is always on point and I could picture every intimate detail of what I was reading.

Wid-o-meter
Storyline:
7.0/10
Style of writing: 7.8/10
Overall: 7.4/10

Another exceptional novel from Christina Lauren that doesn’t follow any kind of romance novel mould that is often found in literature these days. Their erotic scenes are almost unmatched and their novels and novellas will stand the test of time, in my sweet and humble opinion.

Stay tuned for my review on the final novel in the Beautiful series: Beautiful Beginning.

– by The Black Widow