Artist of the Month: Chris Lane

Insert long drawn-out swoon here.

With the reinvigoration of Widow’s Lure comes the revival of Artist of the Month, where we take a look at a different musician each month and break down why they are so lit, for lack of a better term.

The artist of the month for October 2020 is: Chris Lane.

Dat luscious hair doe. (Photo taken from jenniferlinneaphotography’s Flickr photostream)

Chris Lane has a certain swag that isn’t often found in the country music genre: he’s not overly country like the likes of Garth Brooks or Tim McGraw, but he isn’t overly urbanised or pop like Sam Hunt. He sits somewhere in the middle comfortably in his own style, and I think that’s the thing that people will resonate with the most. And if you just take a good look at the picture above, then you might see why people just like him in general (PA: he’s hot).

One thing that I really enjoy about Chris Lane is just how down to earth he is, if his social medias are anything to go off. The constant teasing and jokes, followed by the obvious love, he shares with his wife Lauren Bushnell (who you may recognise from the 20th season of The Bachelor USA).

The first song you would want to familiarise yourself with to get a feel of Chris Lane is Take Back Home Girl featuring the lovely and super talented Tori Kelly. His vocals compliment Tori’s so well, and together the two create this beautiful love story of a man who’s happy to take his girlfriend home to meet his parents. The song has an easy, Sunday morning drive kind of feel to it, and I guarantee you by the end of the song, you will be singing along to the chorus.

One of my personal favourite Chris Lane songs is For Her (not just because I want someone to feel that strongly about me). Much like Take Back Home Girl, Chris shares his feelings towards a certain special someone in his life, describing her as having a smile that’ll make your worst day feel like your birthday. With a voice as charming as his Johnny Bravo-esque coiffed hair, you can’t help but feel like you are that special someone as you listen to this track, bouncing around to the catchy tune and descriptive lyrics.

If you’re wanting something out of the ‘handsome country musician sings about a beautiful girl’ shtick, then may I present to you the complete opposite of that in the form of New Phone, Who’s This. As the title suggests, the song illustrates a story of a girl who wants Chris back, to which he cheekily replies with “new phone who dis”. The song has a fun and carefree feel to it, so it should not come as a surprise to hear that Rhett Akins is listed as one of the writers of this track.

Recommended Tracks
“Fix” from Girl Problems
Bad Girl” from Laps Around the Sun
“Fishin” from Laps Around the Sun

Chris Lane’s star is only growing from here on out, so I highly recommend jumping on this bandwagon. He has star quality written all over him. And you can say you heard it here first.

– by The Black Widow

Five Questions I Have for Love Island: The Game – Season One

Couple up or check out.

This is the motto for the iconic reality dating series Love Island, but if (like me) you don’t really care for shit trashy reality dating shows, but like to live vicariously through character avatars in romantic settings, then you might really like the mobile app game based on the series, Love Island: The Game.

And yes, I am going to shamelessly plug my live streaming series #NikkiPlaysLoveIsland which you can find at this link.

The extremely attractive cast of Love Island: The Game Season One. Tygress the bikini model not featured.

I just have to say that I am a huge mark for the Love Island game. Any mobile app that can make me spend actual money on it is a keeper, but this game has made spend well over $100 on it. (Before you judge me, just bear in mind that I could be spending my money on worse).

This game has everything that a dating simulation mobile app game needs: attractive characters to romance or woo, an isolated almost dreamlike setting of the villa that almost traps you and the other islanders together, and most importantly, an engaging storyline… because what’s romance without an entertaining story?

I’m currently going through my second playthrough of season one which you can watch live on my Twitch channel (did I already plug my #NikkiPlaysLoveIsland?) My first playthrough of season one was full of drama, romance, heartbreak, and plenty of doing bits, and I felt so attached to the characters by the end of the season.

After thinking about my first playthrough – and going through my second playthrough – I just have a few questions that need to be asked about my time as Tygress the bikini model on Love Island season one.

SPOILERS AHEAD! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

1. Why do we have to play as a (fit) female?
First thing’s first: the most obvious question. Why am I forced to play as a female? As a male, I would like to experience this iconic game as a male character so I can realistically live vicariously through them. Unfortunately, this game only gives you the option to play as a female with a fit body/little to no curves. I’m not going to complain that much because I enjoyed playing as Tygress the bikini model, but it would’ve been that much better creating a male character that looked like me and would constantly graft on Levi and Jake like the devilish hoe he was meant to be.

2. Wtf was #Cherrygate
I know they explained themselves, but I still don’t quite get why Cherrygate had to happen. My partner at the time was Levi, so he was the one suckered in to Cherrygate. Cherry explained that she was feeling weak and vulnerable at the time and Levi happened to be there for a (broad) shoulder to lean on, but then they made out. Like, I don’t know about you, but when I find a friend to lean on during troubling times, I don’t end the venting session by making out with them. Also, Cherrygate dragged on for too long. I ended up not minding Cherry by the end of it, but it felt like the game was forcing me to hate her. Speaking of hating people…

3. Why are the rest of the female characters such vile humans?
If you’ve watched my live stream, you will note that there is a recurring theme: I hate literally every other female character in this season. Allegra tries too hard to be a bitch, and in turn makes her mere existence irritating; Erikah is a snake; Cherry is a man-stealing ho bag; Talia is a try hard; Jen is way in over her damn head; and Lucy is bland. There. I said it.

4. What’s the obsession with Levi and Mason?
It’s no secret that I was fond of Levi from the beginning seeing as statistically the character is very close to “my type”; however in saying that, the closest to my type of all the characters was Jake. Granted, Jake was a choice to couple up with in the very last recoupling, but I don’t understand why he wasn’t able to be selected for the majority of the game. It was clear the the game was trying to steer you specifically towards Levi or Mason, and eventually Talia should you want your character to end up in a same-sex relationship. It would’ve been nice if the game gave you more options for romance, because I’m sure Big T definitely tickled some peoples fancies by the end of it.

5. Why is this game so iconic?
I have played nearly every popular mobile dating simulation game there has ever been invented. This could be because I am super lonely, but more on my aversion to real-life dating later. But while other games just want to get you coupled up with these beautiful, flawless superhuman characters that are larger than life, this game went that step further and actually made their characters human. Jake was the most human character of them all, which is probably why Tygress ended up with him; he was flawed, and admitted to his own faults and insecurities, and nothing is more attractive than someone who is comfortable in their own skin and flaws. Kudos, Fusebox Games, you have done a stellar job.

Love Island: The Game is available on most if not all smart devices and is free to download (in-game transactions available if you have no self control like me and need to spend money to have cute bikinis and exclusive grafting opportunities). Don’t say I didn’t warn you when you prefer to spend time with your villa beau as opposed to your real one.

– by The Black Widow

The Definitive Ranking of the Avengers

“Avengers: Assemble!”

The Marvel Avengers video game has dropped recently and it has sparked a passionate reaction from fans; whether it was positive or negative, fans had a lot to say about the game that has been keeping people talking for years!

Captain America may be standing at the front, but is he the top Avenger?

After playing through the exceptional campaign, plus clocking up hours and hours of gameplay through the multiplayer war table, I can safely say that I’ve experienced a fair amount of gameplay as each character thus far (even if I have my favourites).

There has been a lot of debate over who is the most useful character of the six Avengers available for use, so here are my rankings for the best Avengers to use when battling A.I.M and Monica Rappacini’s skank face.

#6
Iron Man

One of the more disappointing things about this game is playing as Iron Man. I was looking forward to it: he’s got cool gadgets, he’s funny, he can fly and shoot funky missiles and lasers, and he’s voiced by Nolan North for crying out loud. Except the flying mechanics are what drops Mr. Stark to the bottom of the list. The flying mechanism in the game is flawed, and when you want to sprint as Iron Man, instead of just running fast, he slowly glides. While his projectile attacks are efficient, his melee combat is weak compared to his teammates, and that is something I can’t forgive.

#5
Ms. Marvel

While being cute and relatable to most of the video gamers out there, Ms. Marvel’s super flexibility make her quite hard to control when battling robots. Her projectile attack of stretching out her arm in a punch isn’t the most reliable form of offence either; although I will say her Embiggen ability is probably one of the best abilities in the game.

#4
Captain America

The appointed leader of the Avengers should be higher on the list if you really think about it, but his slightly-above-average fighting style cripple his ability to be in the top three. His best feature is his shield (to the surprise of none) which means his defence is easily the best of the team. However, with a strong defence comes a fairly weak offence, and besides his ability to throw his shield to ricochet between countless amounts of robots, his attacks leave a little to be desired. Cap is also the hardest to carefully ease around the map as he can’t fly (a la Thor and Iron Man), can’t grapple onto higher ledges (a la Black Widow and Ms. Marvel) and isn’t a giant green gamma monster capable of jumping easil to high places (a la Hulk… were you expecting someone else?)

#3
Hulk

Someone who I wasn’t expecting to enjoy playing as but ended up really loving was Hulk. His brute strength coupled up with his love to “smash” *sexual pun not intended* makes him super fun to play as, especially when you grab someone and either start slamming them onto the floor, or even use them as a weapon as you swing them into other enemies. I also enjoyed that he wasn’t made OP like he probably is considered by the comics standard. His major downfall is his projectile attacking (throwing boulders) and his relatively tame special abilities.

#2
Thor

While Iron Man’s flying ability was whack, Thor was much easier to control since he didn’t slowly glide when put into sprint mode. His melee ability is very strong with or without Mjolnir, and his ability to use Mjolnir in his projectile attack, but then to pin that enemy to the wall while you beat the tar out of them with your fists is iconic. His special abilities compliment the team and his strengths well, even though I still don’t quite get how effective his Bitfrost ability is… maybe I’m not using it properly.

#1
Black Widow

Admittedly, there is slight bias here because Natasha is my favourite Avenger, but the Black Widow trumps the rest of the Avengers in terms of overall ability. She is super quick to speed around the map and use her Widow’s Line grapple to zip around high places easily and also zoom into battle by latching onto an enemy; her melee ability is top notch with her quick and effective strikes and Widow’s Bite; her projectile attacks with three different types of guns are also super effective when you know how to use them properly; and her invisibility team effect is probably the best passive ability of the bunch. Her gameplay style isn’t hard to wrap your head around if you’re a casual gamer, and once you’ve mastered the Widow, you can conquer the world.

There you have it. The only one without any special powers or enhanced abilities is the best one of the group. Don’t blame me – I didn’t make the rules.

– by The Black Widow

The Housewives of Beverly Hills: Ranked

You may be surprised to see who is number one.

During this Covid quarantine period, I’ve had to pick up new hobbies and interests; one of those being The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills thanks to my best friend Emilie. Before, I never would’ve seen myself get into a reality show like this, but now it’s become one of my most favourite pop culture things ever!

Who’s the best? And who’s the worst?

I started from season one in June and am now completely caught up to the most recent episode of season ten. I have seen friendships form and explode, drinks thrown across the table, gifted bunnies given back due to a fake superstition, and everything else that a trash reality TV show can provide.

During the show’s 10 seasons, they have featured 18 main cast housewives; this is not including the “friends” of the housewives such as Eden Sassoon and her iconic black wig. As such, Eden Sassoon and the other friends are not eligible for this list.

Emilie and I about to rank the shit out of these housewives.

While discussing this blog post with Emilie, she’s decided she wants to make her own list. So without further ado, here are mine and Emilie’s rankings of the Beverly Hills Housewives.

#18
Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave/Taylor Armstrong

N: Teddi is boring, and her attempts to not be boring just make her even more boring. Also, if you’ve been called a shirt stirrer three seasons straight, well maybe it’s time you look in the mirror.
E: Taylor is annoying and insecure.

#17
Brandi Glanville/Garcelle Beauvais

N: It never seemed like Brandi ever really fit in with the group. On top of that, she just seems like a horrible person that says shit about people and then hides behind the fact that she’s “just being honest”.
E: Garcelle was boring. She hardly showed up this season and started petty drama.

#16
Yolanda Hadid/Denise Richards

N: Not once during the entire show did I ever feel an ounce of sympathy for Yolanda. I didn’t relate to her in the slightest, and I found myself waiting for her to leave the show so we could get onto bigger and better things.
E: I loved Denise in season nine but season ten killed it.

#15
Kyle Richards/Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave

N: Kyle started as my favourite because she was Paris Hilton’s pretty aunt, but over the years, I have come to acknowledge that she isn’t as great as I thought she was, and she’s a schemer, and I am not okay with it.
E: Teddi’s boring and cries too much.

#14
Kim Richards/Kathryn Edwards

N: I sympathised with her struggles and her battles for maybe the first couple of seasons. After a while, I was over it, and if that makes me sound like a bitch, then so be it. She tended to use her alcoholism as an excuse to get away with shit, and the fact that she would always blame Kyle didn’t help her case either.
E: Kathryn was also boring.

#13
Lisa Rinna/Joyce Giraud de Ohoven

N: Someone who would’ve stayed high on this list had season 10 not happened, Lisa was a fun addition to the show because she’s so carefree and crazy. But then she showed her true colours in season 10 to Denise, and honestly what a piece of shit.
E: Joyce = boring.

#12
Camille Grammer/Carlton Gebbia

N: Camille would’ve been dead last had she not redeemed herself over the years. In season one, she was a deadset piece of shit; she had redeemed herself by season eight, just to show her shitty colours again in season nine.
E: Carlton was a witch.

#11
Kathryn Edwards/Camille Grammer

N: I was neither for nor against Kathryn. She was a nice albeit random addition to the housewives, and I can see why she didn’t last longer than one season. Having a private convo with Erika just to rat her out a couple of days later drops her a few spots on the list.
E: Camille tries too hard.

#10
Taylor Armstrong/Kyle Richards

N: Another one I didn’t really have a connection with, although I felt for her when she came out with her stories of abuse and domestic violence, and I’m so glad she’s out there living her best life with her new man now.
E: Kyle is obsessed with herself and is an attention seeker.

#9
Lisa Vanderpump/Kim Richards

N: LVP is a tricky one. I think she’s cool and amazing and glamorous, but she’s also a manipulator and you can tell she created all of the storylines for seasons 1-9 behind the scenes. Erika was right about her. She’s a sniper from the side, and she’s bloody good at it.
E: Kim is a hot mess but who isn’t?

#8
Garcelle Beauvais/Yolanda Hadid

N: Garcelle was a breath of fresh air for the show, and had big shoes to fill as the ‘replacement’ for LVP. Besides the fact that she was the first black housewife of Beverly Hills which was groundbreaking, she was also super funny and chill and was exactly what the show needed.
E: Yolanda was sweet and funny but she was conniving.

#7
Carlton Gebbia/Brandi Glanville

N: Carlton was bloody off chops and I was all for it. This Wiccan goddess attacking Kyle is one of my favourite memories from this show, and we were honestly robbed of more Carlton goodness by only having her on one season.
E: Brandi is a drunk mess!

#6
Dorit Kemsley/Lisa Vanderpump

N: Dorit is arguably the most stylish of the housewives, and is the reason why I am dying to get a Birkin. While I love her fashion and lifestyle, Dorit is notorious for making mountains out of mole hills, and I don’t understand her need for making shit out of nothing.
E: Lisa was a master manipulator. BRING LISA BACK!

#5
Joyce Giraud de Ohoven/Eileen Davidson

N: A beautiful addition to RHOBH that would’ve done better on later seasons of the show, this former beauty queen stood up for herself in the face of racism and bullying at the hands of Brandi Trashville, and I was all for it. Plus, her hair is simply out of this world.
E: Eileen was the realest housewife of them all.

#4
Erika Girardi/Lisa Rinna

N: Another housewife that would’ve been higher up on the list had season 10 not happened, Erika Girardi is the definition of fabulous. I actually live for Erika Jayne and am obsessed with her music, and her no fucks given attitude towards life is absolutely iconic. Just lay off the Denise attacks, hun.
E: She can’t help herself, and she owns it!

#3
Adrienne Maloof/Dorit Kemsley

N: The absolute best of the first three seasons of the show, Adrienne was the only level-headed and normal one of the housewives. She was usually the peacemaker of the group, but that didn’t mean she was boring at all. Plus I just want her lifestyle… chick is ballin’!
E: Dorit’s fashion is on point!

#2
Denise Richards/Erika Girardi

N: Denise Richards was the reason I started watching the show in the first place. A fan of hers from her Dr. Christmas Jones days, Denise took Adrienne’s role in season nine as the only chill and normal housewife of the group. Season ten is the only reason why she’s not in the number one spot, as her shady behaviour was a bit questionable, whether you believed her or not.
E: Pat the puss, honey!

#1
Eileen Davidson/Adrienne Maloof

N: I will not hear a single bad word about Eileen. If Adrienne and Denise were level-headed peacekeepers, then Eileen was a level-headed goddess. Never one to start drama for the sake of it, but never being afraid to speak her mind or bring up something that was bothering her, Eileen was without a doubt my favourite housewife of the entire series.
E: Adrienne was the voice of reason.

Did you have a different set of rankings to us? Who was your favourite housewife? Let us know in the comments! (But just know that if Eileen is anything less than number five, then I don’t want to hear it.)

– by The Black Widow/Emilie