Category Archives: Entertainment

I’ve Given Up On M.Night Shyamalan

Posted in Entertainment, Movies, Opinion by

I want to take a little time to recall some brilliant films. Do you remember a movie about a child who could see and talk to dead people? I do, and I remember it being full of genuinely frightening moments and an atomic bomb of a story twist; this was The Sixth Sense, directed by M.Night Shyamalan only fifteen years ago.

This is what everyone looked like watching it, don't lie.

This is what everyone looked like watching it, don’t lie.

I also fondly recall watching Unbreakable for the first time, which also contained a mind-shattering twist and a damn good cast of actors; again, Shyamalan is responsible for creating this cult film.

Badass

Badass

And here is where the problem comes to light; can you recall a film about trees who make people suicidal? If you can’t, pat yourself on the back, you really saved yourself time and sanity. The Happening was also the work of Shyamalan, the same guy who created instant classics and then went on to produce pieces of actual poop.

OH GOD, WHY TREES, WHY?

OH GOD, WHY TREES, WHY?

I have tried to keep calm in the face of such terrible film making, telling myself that it’s okay. Maybe he’s a one trick pony and theres only so long he can make twist endings work, maybe his first few movies were some sort of fluke, a moment of his insanity that happened to work. I did this over and over: with films like The Village, and Lady in the Water. But god dammit if I’m not tired of trying so hard. Not after what he did, not after making The Last Airbender.

One of the best television shows

One of the best television shows

One of the worst things in my life (Sorry, kid)

One of the worst things in my life (Sorry, kid)

Shyamalan, if you’re out there and somehow reading this obscure article: WHAT THE FUCK, MAN? You don’t do that. You just can’t take a wonderfully-written, highly-praised, beautifully-animated television show, take all the good things out of it, and drop it on the big screen. I wanted to stick by you, even through the awkwardly directed acting and plot holes, because although I’m always disappointed by you, your films always seem to have an interesting premise. But no, you really fucked up this time.

But even amidst that awfulness there seemed to be a silver lining; this film was so bad that there was no way he would ever direct again. Then came After Earth (vomiting sound), and now he is in the mix to produce three different television programmes, and heres hoping that he just stays as the producer.

Smug bastard

Smug bastard

The purpose of this article was to mostly rant, but also to voice my genuine concerns. Why does this man keep making films? Who keeps giving him the work? And more importantly, how do we stop it? This is coming from someone who really loved the film Signs. In all seriousness, that movie planted the seed for my phobia of extraterrestrials, and any person that can induce that has some amazing power. But I think that power has been abused and needs to be taken away.

– by Josefina Huq

5 Songs You Don’t Want Dedicated to You on the Radio

Posted in Entertainment, Music by

I was sitting in my bed and I recounted a time when a certain angry someone decided it would be a jolly idea to fling me a text saying “Dedicated this song to you on the radio”. At the time, I was in the mindset that we had become friends, so being full of hope and also as naive as a porcelain doll, I looked up the song. Ricochet by Shiny Toy Guns. From my understanding, it’s about a slut that bounces from man to man and messes with their minds as she does so.

Yeah... that happened.

Yeah… that happened. (SOURCE: Shiny Toy Guns – Ricochet! – Lyrics video)

At the time, I found it extremely offensive and borderline criminal; now, I laugh about it and think it’s funny that someone went to so much effort to try and make me feel bad. And, to cheer myself up, I thought about a few other songs that would’ve been worse dedications to me on national radio, such as:

Eamon – Fuck It (I Don’t Want You Back)
Possibly the most degrading song ever made in the history of music, if the title doesn’t tell you just how insulting this song is, let me spell it out for you: you’re a slut and he don’t want you back. F what he said, f your presents, f your kisses and f you’re a ho. Although, if you do have this song dedicated to you and there’s a reason behind it, you probably deserve these scathing comments. Cheaters never prosper. Remember that.

Daphne and Celeste – U.G.L.Y
Again, if this title doesn’t spell it out for you (which it should), I’ll expand on it for you: you are that ugly that there is no possible alibi or reason for you to be that ugly. With lyrical curiosities including “You walked up to me with your buck teeth a-gleaming” and “You hurt the trees feelings and the birds all flew”, you’ve got to be one bad looker to warrant having this song dedicated to you. Don’t worry though; they probably don’t mean it. Oh wait a minute. They do.

Jojo – Leave (Get Out)
I can’t imagine what you must have done to get this song dedicated to you. Oh wait. Yes I do. You cheated on your girlfriend (or boyfriend) with her/his best friend. Who does that? So, if you ever hear “Now this next song is dedicated to (insert your name here)” on the radio and this song follows, if the repetition of “Get out! Leave! Right now!” doesn’t drill the message into your head, it’s simple: pack up your things because you have just been dumped on national radio.

Stacie Orrico – I’m Not Missing You
Continuing on with the “cheating arsehole” theme, this song puts a twist on the vengeful other: they don’t miss you in the slightest. In fact, your act of infidelity has made them a stronger person and they don’t care about you anymore. Ouch. I bet that stings. I don’t know what’s the bigger zing – the fact that they are publicly outing you as a cheating arsehole, or the fact that they don’t even care about what you did.

Cobra Starship – Hot Mess
Now to end this article on a slightly better note, this song can be taken two ways: someone is falling for you and thinks you’re the bees knees, or someone is unintentionally pointing out your feral-ness. It’s how the term “hot mess” works – it’s either a huge compliment or a huge insult. With lyrics including “You think you’re hot shit, oooh, I love it” and “Stumblin’, but yeah, you still lookin’ hella fine”, there are some parts of the song you’ll have to avoid if you choose to take this as a compliment because, let’s face it, no one loves “that” drunk girl/guy.

Now that I think about it, compared to these songs, being called a slag that bounces from person to person and messes with their mind is a huge compliment; in fact, they are pretty much calling me a black widow – and boy, do I love black widows. Thanks for that song dedication, mate.

– by The Black Widow

Review: What Nora Knew

Posted in Books, Entertainment by

I had no intentions on reading and writing a review on a Chick Lit novel. This is not necessarily because I dislike the genre in particular, but because most of them tend to be too predictable, stereotypical, idealistic, unrealistically perfect etc so I tend to avoid them – yes, I’m one of those annoyingly fastidious people who demands that a film or novel be realistic to some degree (depending on the genre, of course).  What Nora Knew by Linda Yellin was an exception. I tend to skim over the blurb and take a quick peek at the first page or so of any novel in order to decide whether it’s worth continuing with, and on doing so for this novel, I was immediately and mercilessly hooked.

whatnoraknew

What Nora Knew is about Molly Hallberg (a writer for an online newsmagazine) who, having been through a (long) string of unsuccessful relationships – one marriage included – has a somewhat jaded view on love.  Although she is in a steady relationship with her current boyfriend, Russell Edley, she is not a believer in the sort of flowery love that is generally characterized by plenty of passion, elaborate and romantic gestures, and excitement etc – the sort of love that many of the characters in the novel coincidentally have. Instead, she settles for a “comfortable” relationship with him, mainly due to the limiting factor of her age (late thirties), or so she feels. Somewhere along the way, she meets a certain Cameron Duncan (a famous author) who she progressively, unwillingly and inevitably falls for. From this, I’m sure even those of you who are not familiar with/not fans of Chick Lit novels can guess the ending without too much difficulty.

Despite the stereotypical plot, I was quite fond of this novel. For, Yellin’s abilities as an author are more than admirable; the voice of Molly is so internal, witty, sarcastic, sharp, funny, entertaining and likeable. I was constantly chuckling and more than that, she seems very real – indeed it is like she is a real person talking to you instead of for you and that, to me, is one of the marks of a great author. However, that was the best part of this novel. The drama, events and dialogue – albeit quite entertaining in some parts – was mostly just a little bit above average.  At certain times, I actually got a little bored because there wasn’t anything particularly enthralling and some parts were not very believable. But, it was Molly’s amusing and engaging voice that kept me reading right to the end.

One other redeeming factor of the novel that I have to mention is that Yellin readily highlights the fact that most love stories in Chick Lit novels and Rom-Coms are stereotypical and/or predictable, but that people still want to read on or keep watching anyway because they are “mesmerized by the journey”. She does this through the guise of certain characters and with references to some Rom-Coms (the title itself is in reference to Nora Ephron who is most notable for certain films such as When Harry Met Sally and Sleepless in Seattle, for those of you who don’t know). It could just be me, but there is something rather comforting about the author acknowledging that what they’re writing about is stereotypical or clichéd and that they know that people still like to read it anyway to experience the “journey” – it makes them (or their writing, at least) seem more genuine.

Anyway, in short, this book was quite enjoyable but nothing to make you truly go WOW! The ending is very obvious (but then again, it was what Yellin intended), so I suppose some or most will do what she anticipates (as I did) – keep reading until the very end, not because they want to know who Molly ends up with etc, but because they want to experience the journey with her. This is most likely one of those books you might want to take along with you on a holiday (that is, if you like reading Chick Lit novels in the first place and/or if you like reading them when you’re away on  holiday). Even if there wasn’t anything especially riveting, the engaging and laughter-inducing voice of Molly herself would be enough to make most want to read this novel.

Solst-o-meter
Storyline: 6/10
Style of writing: 9/10
Overall: 7.5/10

– by Rosemary Nguyen

Review: Hopeless

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I’m not trying to sound like a broken record a la the last book review I did, but I finally got around to finishing this wonderful novel that I had been in the middle of for a good month. Now that this novel is finished, I’ve realised that I need to do some serious book shopping!

9781476743554_p0_v2_s260x420
Hopeless by Colleen Hoover details the life of 17-year-old Sky, an extremely sheltered young girl whose life is turned upside down when she meets Dean Holder, the resident bad boy with a bad reputation to match her, to be frank, slutty reputation… despite not being a slut.

This novel starts out pretty cruisy, until you get to the middle-ish of the novel where:

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Never in my 21 years of reading novels have I read a book that escalated as quickly as Hopeless. What seemingly starts off as a typical teenage romance novel turned upside down on its head and did a Booker T spinaroonie because the drama that followed was so… dramatic. Without revealing too much, the drama was so good.

The storyline was so predictable that it was unpredictable, if that makes sense. I read it thinking “Oh yeah, and now this is going to happen and this is going to happen” and while some of my predictions were correct, most of them were so wrong that I felt the need to say sorry to Colleen Hoover. Colleen, if you’re reading this, please forgive me for doubting your excellent storyline abilities. The characters personalities were expressed well in the novel through the use of descriptive writing and the image of Dean Holder was clear in my head. COUGH Steve Grand.

The relationship between Sky and Dean was cute, albeit a bit clichè. Two unusually attractive teenagers with troubled pasts fall for each other and are completely in love after a month or two of being completely inseparable. Sky was a hit-or-miss with me; she was either really annoying and “Wah feel sorry for me” one minute and next, she was this funny, sassy spitfire who I found myself to really like. Dean Holder was perfect… almost too perfect. He was so swoon-worthy that I didn’t feel the need to swoon. He had his shining moments just like Sky, though, so I will praise him as a character.

Colleen Hoover’s use of language in this book was almost flawless. The action in the novel was impeccable and the use of imagery and other descriptions painted a clear picture in my head as I read this novel. I can no doubt see why this novel is so acclaimed and why it’s a New York Times bestseller – the author is great and the story is even better. The fact that nearly all the loose ends in this novel were tied together in a nifty little bow by the end of the story demands a round of applause for Hoover who really, in my sweet and humble opinion, knocked this one out of the park.

Solst-o-meter
Storyline: 9.0/10
Style of writing: 8.6/10
Overall: 8.8/10

I can guarantee you, whether you’re a romance reader or not, that this is definitely a must read. I was so wowed with the entire novel as a whole that I don’t know what to do with my life now that I’ve finished it. I can also guarantee you that you will not want to put this book back down once you’ve gotten into it. It is that damn good.

– by The Black Widow