Don’t worry. I hate myself for making that headline.

There are a few new additions in life that I enjoy – a new handbag, a new phone, a new book… and a new Real Housewives franchise.

Enter Real Housewives of Rhode Island.

This is how easy it actually is to tell them apart. L to R: Jo-ellen, Ashley, Alicia, Kelsey, Rulla, Liz and Rosie.

This wasn’t necessarily the franchise I was expecting, as there have been various rumours of cities like Chicago and Nashville and Las Vegas receiving their own Real Housewives show. Plus, besides the fact that I recently learned that Rhode Island is the safest state in the US for LGBTQIA+, there isn’t much I know about Rhode Island. Well, once on my Contiki trip in 2016 we stopped in Providence for lunch and I went to the Victoria’s Secret there and bought a cute new tracksuit with the hunkiest cashier ever… but that’s beside the point.

So this show was going to be my true introduction to Rhode Island. And my god, if I’m not hooked already.

Judging off the above photo, if you didn’t watch the pilot episode yourself, you’re probably thinking that all these brunette women look the same and how on earth are you going to tell them apart. Andy Cohen even said that once you get into the show you’ll be able to tell them apart easily, and honestly, he was right.

Immediately we were thrown into the lives of six of the seven housewives (Rulla is yet to show up) and we are quickly introduced to the friendship dynamics of the cast. And even quicker so, you are thrown into what I imagine will be one of the biggest talking points of the season – Kelsey is dating a gazillionaire who spends half his time in Rhode Island with her, and half his time in Florida with his other girlfriend, and all parties have agreed to this arrangement.

If that’s not enough to get you hooked into this show, in the very first episode of the show, Rosie and Joe-ellen get into it at a beach picnic where Ashley and Alicia have to intervene. Generally pilot episodes are used to introduce you to the cast and then maybe introduce some light drama at the end of the episode as a cliffhanger to get you watching the rest of the season. But this argument was like midway through the episode and was equal amounts petty and raw honesty between the two.

For me, a great Real Housewives franchise (and season) need wealth and lifestyle porn, drama but not too much that it suffocates the audience, and a cast of women who are actually friends with each other, and RHORI seems to have all of that already. I mean, there’s a room in Kelsey’s house dedicated to just massages with her own massage chair. HFD.

Plus, in just one episode, RHORI has managed to be more entertaining than the entirety of RHOBH season 15.

This show has gotten off to an amazing start already, and I can’t wait to see more of it. Thankfully, we don’t have to wait too long, as RHORI has moved to Mondays after its pilot episode (Sunday nights for you Americans) so I get to watch these wildly interesting women again very soon.

If I had to pick one obvious bit of constructive criticism that stayed with me for most of the episode, it’s that some of their accents are going to take a while for me to get used to. And they may just perpetually irritate me for the rest of the show, but let’s see how we go.

If you’re a Bravo fan, a Real Housewives fan, or just want a new show to start… please give RHORI a go. Trust me. It’s fucking great already.

– by The Black Widow