Tag Archives: relationships

Dating Nikki: Double dating (and why it’s useful!)

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Double dating is useful when you want to get to know that special someone a little better without having that added pressure of being alone and intimate with them. If you aren’t talented at small talk, then I would suggest a double date as a first or second date to help you break the ice.

Serial double dating at its finest.

Serial double dating at its finest.

This fascinating concept is flexible and can be a great endeavour in the early stages of a relationship and even for the happily married. The double date is It’s a fun experience where you get to socialise and see how other couples date and, of course, spend that quality time with your special lady or gentleman. Speaking solely for those of you who are part of the former and are just establishing some form of connection with a significant other, this advice is for you.

The benefits of double dating
[+] The pressure of keeping a steady conversation flow is taken away from you with the presence of others. You may now relax.
[+] With you being relaxed, your date will also be relaxed, especially if they have a friend with them. This is beneficial because then you get to see them in their true, natural skin, not their “I have to act like I’m in a job interview to seem impressive” mode.
[+] Bored of hearing about how her hairdresser cut her hair wrong or how he scored the most amazing try on the weekend? You’ve got one of your gal pals or bros with you. Get reinvigorated with your mate there with you.
[+] I’m just going to put this one out there. You won’t feel tempted to have a quickie if you have another two sets of prying eyes there with you. If you’re there for the right reasons, then this is a benefit. Trust me.
[+] You have a wider variety of activities to do. You know how there are certain things you need a group to do? Ta da!
[+] More fun will be evident during a double date. Bowling with two people is fun, yeah, but with four? Outstanding.
[+] It’s a fantastic social experiment, therefore, do it.

Ideas for double dates
[x] A good ol’ fashion video game arcade is a great idea for a double date. You can compete in games in a free-for-all, couple vs. couple or girls vs. boys (or boys vs. boys, girls vs. girls in the same sex situation). Who doesn’t like a little competition?
[x] Go-karting. If you haven’t played Mario Kart, then you wouldn’t understand where I’m going with this one.
[x] Lazer tag. Same deal – free-for-all, couple vs. couple, etc. You also burn off mega calories in this thigh-burning exercise as well.
[x] Go for a hike or relaxing nature walk. Don’t do this at night, otherwise the Big Bad Wolf will eat you. (DISCLAIMER: not really)
[x] Board games and/or video games. BYO competitive spirit.
[x] Karaoke, because let’s be frank, karaoke is amazing.

Double dating is not an excuse to completely avoid alone time with your date, so find a free moment during the day or night to spend some quality time with your date, even if it’s the drive home to his or her house together. You’ll realise that you’re more comfortable being with each other just because of the success of the double date.

When you’re buying your first house together, you have me to thank.

You’re welcome.

– by The Black Widow

Dating Nikki: First date small talk

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Now introducing a new segment for Solstice Satisfaction… Dating Nikki! No, unfortunately you won’t be able to live your long dream of dating me, but you will be getting dating advice, tips and tricks from yours truly. Ta da!

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First date small talk…
Because you can’t exactly let the other person know just how unstable you are on the first date.

First impressions are the key on first dates and you want to be able to give off the vibe that you are one sick chick/cool dude. You should know enough about your date that it won’t be a complete mystery (unless it’s a blind date, in which case… stay tuned). Of course, this is the first time you have been intimate with this person in a dating sense, so there is bound to be some tension and/or awkwardness in the air. That is where your good friend “small talk” will come in.

You’re sitting down at the table at a nice restaurant: you have already broken the ice by telling her how beautiful she looks or telling him that he looks like Vin Diesel. You’ve exchanged weather pleasantries, talked about the safe drive to the destination and have been in awe of the font that the restaurant menu has used. Now where do you go?

DO

  • Ask how your date’s day and/or week has been.
  • Ask your date a little about their lifestyle – their employment, education, hobbies, etc. Try not to say “So what are your hobbies?” because I find that is a very difficult question to answer, and I have plenty of hobbies. If you find you have something in common, cling to that topic for a bit, but don’t let it dominate your conversation; you’ll sound forced if you do.
  • Play a little game of “Three Lies and a Truth” to break the ice and let your date know just how damn extreme you are. If you’re not extreme enough for Three Lies and a Truth, then go for 20 Questions (NOTE: change the number of questions at your desire)
  • Joke around with your date to take some of the awkward tension away. By joke, I don’t mean “So, a mate and I got drunk one night in a public bathroom…” kind of joke.
  • Share an interesting story about yourself that is relevant to your date or the conversation. If your date asks you how you are and you bring up a story about how your pet rabbit died ten years ago, then, well… just no.

DON’T

  • Bring up any past dates or romances. Ever. Ever. Ever.
  • (If at a dinner) Initiate conversation while your date is clearly trying to eat. They will feel pressured to keep up a conversation when all they want to do is eat.
  • Start a question with “So…” You’ll sound bored. And ignorant.
  • Make it so obvious that you’re keeping up small talk for the sake of making small talk. Unless you’re on something, which I strongly advise against on a first date, you will hate small talk. Don’t make it obvious that you hate it.
  • (If at a movie) Talk during the movie, unless it’s COMPLETELY necessary. Example: “Excuse me, I have to use the restroom” is accepted, “You should’ve seen what happened on the train today” is not.
  • Dominate the conversation. Each dater should have an equal amount of “air time”.

Small talk is uncomfortable for every party involved, so try and make it less painful for everyone by being confident and by being yourself. A forced small talker just seems fake, and, like, they have something shoved up their yoo-hoo. That’s bad, by the way.

Want a specific topic of the wide world of dating covered? E-mail me at widowslure@gmail.com and I will get to your dating plea as soon as possible.

Happy dating everyone!

– by The Black Widow

Review: Beautiful Bombshell

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While I impatiently await the arrival of Beautiful Player, here’s a review for Beautiful Bombshell because the boys are back! #boysnightout #hangoverpart4

RELATED LINKS: Widow’s Lure reviews Beautiful Bastard
Widow’s Lure reviews Beautiful Bitch
Widow’s Lure reviews Beautiful Stranger

The boys are back in town!

The boys are back in town!

 

Beautiful Bombshell – the fourth in the Beautiful series by Christina Lauren – features the two male protagonists (Bennett Ryan and Max Stella) from the previous books as they intend on going out for a wild night for Bennett’s bucks night (or stag night, as is called in North America apparently). Their night of manly fun with Will and Henry, however, is altered by the appearance of two sexy females.

You know how I said in Beautiful Bitch that the fiery, sexual chemistry between Bennett and Chloe had stagnated? And their personalities had been a bit watered down? Yes, well, that wasn’t the case in Bombshell and I absolutely loved it! Bossy Bennett and Sassy Chloe were back in full force! These were the characters I fell in love with! Max and Sara were as “adventurous” as they were in Stranger so just from the first two chapters of this novella, I could tell that this was going to be one erotic rollercoaster.

The storyline in this book wasn’t as enthralling as the storylines in the previous books, however, I was still hooked from start to finish in this humorous take of a bachelor’s bucks night. This is pretty much The Hangover in book form. The men are pissed and are up for a wild night of fun, starting at a seedy strip-and-other-erotic-adventures club. Nothing really major happened in the book really besides Bennett’s revelation at the end which I thought was a bit adorable. The events of the book, however, were hilarious that I would actually start giggling on the bus and then I would have to try and hide the fact that I was laughing in front of a gazillion other people.

The way the book was written was different than the previous books. Since the two characters featured in this book were Bennett and Max – both being of the XY chromosome – they both received their own fonts however their name was stated at the beginning so the reader knew who they were seeing as female font and male font couldn’t be used. I thought this was very interesting, and I’m not quite sure why. Either way, bananas are still yellow and apples are still red.

Bennett Ryan is probably one of my favourite fictitious characters – ever. Along with Michael from Sundays at Tiffany’s and Princess Peach. There are so many dimensions to him and his confident swagger is just amazing. He’s calm, he’s cool, he’s collected, he’s also a horny bastard who knows what he wants and how to get it. I haven’t had the same connection with Max Stella as I have with Bennett and I’m not sure whether that’s because he came second or because he isn’t as suave as Bennett. Although, Max is as multi-dimensional as Bennett so I can say that he isn’t a bland character.

Solst-o-meter
Storyline: 7.0/10
Style of writing: 8.2/10
Overall: 7.6/10

This was a more funny read than it was romantic and I like that they’ve introduced good humour into the series. Although this had plenty of passionate lovemaking and downright inappropriate fondling (here’s looking at you, Sara and Max), I would still recommend this book based on the comic factor. Poor Will, didn’t know what he was getting into. I have to praise Christina Lauren on their excellent work on the Beautiful series and I absolutely cannot wait for the next installment!

– by The Black Widow