Spoiler alert: this is not a Real Housewives post.
If you are a frequent reader of Widow’s Lure, then you know that I am unapologetic about two things: one, I looooove me some Real Housewives and I don’t care if it appears to be my one personality trait, and two, I’m living with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and do my best to bring awareness to an illness that usually goes under the radar.
As these two different worlds are such a big part of my life, it should come to no surprise that they were going to collide at some point. Allow me to explain how (and why!)
One of the biggest symptoms of BPD is having rapid, uncontrollable mood swings. In a normal day, I can go from content, to happy and sweet, to bitter and angry, to sad and insecure in the space of two minutes. I can get triggered by the smallest things, actions or words, and my mood can change at the drop of a hat. 
A big personal victory for me is recognising that I suffer from these mood swings; recognising this has actually helped me in controlling the mood swings to the best of my ability, and reining it in when necessary so I don’t explode and damage those around me.
In an effort to recognise when I go into a certain mood, I’ve nicknamed these ‘personalities’, and would you believe it — I named them after some Real Housewives!
Allow me to introduce you to the women that live rent-free in my head, and give you a brief description of each of these personalities:
Erika (after Erika Jayne from RHOBH)
Key traits: sad and insecure
Formerly known as Mrs. Girardi (but since she’s divorced, I had to update the name accordingly), Erika is probably my strongest mood. Erika thinks everyone is out to get her, and those closest to her have ulterior motives when pursuing a friendship or relationship with her. Erika believes that her favourite person is constantly trying to leave her, and grieves the possibility of losing them even though they’ve expressed no desire to leave her.
Porsha (after Porsha Williams from RHOA)
Key traits: angry and rageful
Porsha will get hood with you at a second’s notice and she doesn’t care how “ghetto” or “ratchet” she appears. Armed with hoop earrings that will fly off if you test her, Porsha uncontrollably lashes out at you if she feels you’re abandoning her and will absolutely verbally annihilate you if she feels threatened. As you can tell, Porsha is definitely the most dangerous of my personalities, and the one that most requires a cage.
Monique (after Monique Samuels from RHOP)
Key traits: jealous and spiteful
Monique essentially serves as the bridge between Erika and Porsha. Erika will feel sad and insecure, and without any action, it will turn into jealousy. Enter Monique. She is territorial and believes what’s hers is rightfully hers. If you spend time with her favourite person, then you best watch out because Monique’s irrational jealousy can quickly turn into Porsha’s rage.
Stephanie (after Stephanie Hollman from RHOD)
Key traits: compassionate and sweet
On the other end of the spectrum to Porsha is Stephanie. Stephanie speaks with her own soft, slightly higher-pitched voice, and is very kind and caring to those that she loves. Not afraid of comforting a friend or hugging them, Stephanie is the calm voice of reason that will support her friends and family at the drop of a hat.
Camille (after Camille Grammar from RHOBH)
Key traits: sexy and confident
Camille is drop dead gorgeous and she knows it. While Stephanie will accept a compliment with a pure sincerity, Camille will acknowledge it as fact and even question why you decided to bring it up in the first place. Camille walks with a strut, flaunt her best assets any chance she gets, and will use her alluring charm to get what she wants when she wants.
Teresa (after Teresa Giudice from RHONJ)
Key traits: deluded and dry
Teresa almost lives in a fantasy world where what she believes in is the law, and she doesn’t understand when others try to bring her down to reality. As a defence mechanism for when those question the state she lives in, she speaks fluent sarcasm when really she is defending the hurt she’s feeling. Teresa longs to be acknowledged, and only in her fantasy world is where she can get the attention she craves.
Naming these personalities of mine has helped me move in the right direction of regulating my moods to the best of my physical ability.
When I have that feeling of going from Stephanie to Porsha and I can recognise it, acknowledging that is the first step towards regulating my moods and emotions to have healthy conversations as opposed to Porsha literally dragging someone. When I know that Erika has taken over, I can recognise that this feeling of insecurity and inadequacy will past.
This is not to say that all of these personalities are either good or bad. If I’m out with friends and one of them is aggressively being hit on, it’ll be Porsha that jumps in and defends them; Monique’s jealousy is really a sign that Monique has a pure, sincere love for that person.
As for which personality is writing this blog article… it’s probably Camille.
If you would like more information on BPD, please feel free to visit any of the following links:
BPD Australia
Helping Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder
Borderline Personality Disorder
– by The Black Widow
Tag Archives: RHOD
What RHOD Needs to Make a Comeback
I’m still grieving guys. Give me a moment.
By now we have all heard the news that Real Housewives of Dallas has been placed on an indefinite hiatus and has not been renewed for a season six yet. This may not come as a shock to some huge Bravo fans as RHOD was one of the less popular franchises, but I personally really enjoyed RHOD and thought it had some great potential.
There are many factors that could contribute to Bravo’s decision to not renew RHOD as of now, including low ratings and controversy surrounding the show with accusations of racism and xenophobia. But I don’t think the franchise is entirely dead, and if some changes are made, I believe the franchise could make a comeback within the coming years much like Real Housewives of Miami has done.
Here are five suggestions I have for RHOD to come back fighting strong. Because let’s be honest, we all need to see D’andra do more random shit, and we all need some more iconic Stephanie Hollman one-liners.
1. Kameron needs to go
Whether you believe these are reports or just rumours, there has been speculation that Kameron’s falling out with Tiffany Moon after season five was so bad that Kameron tried to give Bravo an ultimatum: if you want me on season six, then you need to fire Tiffany Moon. Given that ultimatum, the decision is really quite simple: get rid of Kameron, keep Tiffany. Kameron offers next to nothing to the show, has a really pretentious manner, and nitpicks at really small things to try seem ‘housewifey’ when her attempts fall flat (her bringing receipts to the season five reunion thinking she was funny or shady yet everyone else was bored with it). Tiffany was a ball of fun, wasn’t scared to say what was on her mind, and wasn’t against the drama. Really you’re comparing an Hermes handbag to something you can find in K-Mart. See ya later, Kameron.
2. Brandi and Stephanie no more?
On top of getting rid of Kameron, I feel as if my favourite Bravo friendship may have to come to an end as well. Brandi Redmond took to social media to say she wouldn’t be interested in coming back to the show, and to be honest I don’t think there’s a space for her anyway. Her abysmal season five served her downfall and I think not coming back is best for her and the show. As much as I love her, I don’t know if Stephanie could be as strong a housewife if Brandi isn’t on the show with her. She was beautiful and hilarious, but playing the peacekeeper for as long as she did can only do her so well.
3. New stars, new Housewives
Taking the above into consideration, I really think RHOD could benefit from having new faces and a seven-housewife cast. The more housewives, the more drama, and I think drama is what RHOD has been lacking since Leeanne left. If Kameron and Brandi are gone, and let’s say for the sake of this argument that Stephanie is also gone, that leaves four new spots for four new housewives to reach a seven-person cast. With new faces comes new drama, and new dynamics that could come into play to bring that spark back to RHOD. But speaking of introducing new faces…
4. Welcome back Cary!
Introducing four brand new faces would be a very bold move for the franchise to make if they were going to do four new housewives + three existing housewives. In saying that, their best option to counterbalance that is to bring back a former housewife plus three new faces, and of the three choices we have (Tiffany Hendra, Leeanne Locken and Cary Deuber), Cary is definitely the best bet. She was funny and witty and so glamorous, and she wasn’t afraid to bring the heat when the occasion called for it. Her bone collecting skills leave a bit to be desired, but I think bringing Cary back into the fray would be a nice change for the show.
5. The Housewives need to pull their weight
There’s no denying that in the early seasons, Leeanne Locken really carried the show. She was the catalyst for most if not all of the drama, and her funny one-liners and explosive moments really made the show. Essentially, it felt like the Leeanne show ft. the other housewives. This was until D’andra started carrying her own from season three onwards, and then Tiffany Moon helped with the load in season five. Brandi contributed a bit, Cary was okay, Stephanie was essentially moral support, and Kameron and Kary gave nothing to the show. For a Real Housewives franchise to be continuously successful, it needs all of the housewives to pull their weight. They can’t just rely on D’andra and Tiffany for the ratings and the success. Maybe they can all take a lesson from Kyle Richards in the art of ghost producing.
While I wouldn’t say that RHOD is my all-time favourite Real Housewives franchise, it’s definitely up there as a show that I really loved and enjoyed and I don’t want to see it fail anytime soon. Here’s to hoping that this indefinite hiatus is only a short-term thing and we can get back to seeing D’andra do some funny ass shit on our screens again.
– by The Black Widow
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