It’s the time of the year when single people all of a sudden hate everyone and those in a relationship are noticeably more catty towards those who are single. It’s Valentine’s Day – or as catty people in a relationship would call it, Single Awareness Day.

Do this and you are guaranteed success.

If you’re stuck on what to get your significant other or don’t know what to do with them on Friday night (besides a good round of woohoo), who ya gonna call? Note: not Ghostbusters. Me!

I will attempt to separate my advice in different stages of relationship, from the “we only started dating like five minutes ago” stage to the “we’ve pretty much been married for the past 20 years” stage. Let’s face it: if you’ve been in a relationship for over five years and your partner buys you a box of chocolates from Aldi, you’re gonna be pissed.

For those who have just started dating…
This would be your first Valentine’s Day as a couple so the main benefit from that is you don’t face the risk of repeating your gifts and event from a previous V Day like the longer couples do. Any idea you have will be safe, unless it’s way over the top. While I’m sure a woman would love to receive all the jewellery from Tiffany’s in the world, and a man would appreciate a new Harley Davidson sportster, it may be a little too much for your first V Day together. My suggestions?
Gift ideas (for him): Surprise him. Buy him a ride around Sydney on a Harley motorcycle (click here). If he’s a bit less rough around the edges, give him a box of chocolates (click here) and a good-read.
Gift ideas (for her): If you want a safe idea, stick with a nice bouquet of roses (click here) and a box of chocolates. Every girl loves chocolate more than she admits, I promise you. Have it delivered to her when she least expects it and she will swooooooon.

For those who have been together for over a year and are relatively comfortable with each other…
You guys have the trouble of coming up with something different from last year’s successful V Day together. You have the challenge of beating last year and making this year’s V Day all the more memorable. The positive for you is that you are aware of your partner’s interests and their lifestyle so finding a gift specifically tailored for them would be simple. If it isn’t that simple, however, here are my suggestions:
Gift ideas (for him): 21st century men love watches. Gift him with a nice fancy-looking watch and, if you have money left over on your budget, a big matching man ring.
Gift ideas (for her): I would say this is the period where buying your girlfriend lingerie is safe. Ask her friends discreetly for her size and then buy her something sexy to wear that night… only to be taken off straight away.

For those who are well into their relationship insomuch that you are probably going to get engaged soon…
This is for the couples who have been together for so long that everyone is just expecting you to get hitched soon. You’re right for each other and everybody knows it. You are also very comfortable with each other and should know your partner inside-out. You guys have the hurdle of switching it up from previous V Days together and that may hinder your idea brainstorming. If you are stuck for a specific idea, here are my suggestions:
Gift ideas (for him): This will require a bit of pre-planning. Buy your man tickets to an event he will really enjoy, whether it be a musical concert or a monster truck show. Top it off with a case of beer and a home cooked meal and he will be putty in your hands.
Gift ideas (for her): It’s time to bring out the big bucks and visit your nearest Tiffany’s, or any other quality jewellery store. You will know what your lady likes, so pick out something that says “I love you so much that I spent all this money on you.” Click here to browse through Tiffany’s collection.

For those who are married or in a long-term domestic relationship…
You are the couple that has made it. You have been through nearly every Valentine’s Day together and they have always been fantastic. You’re so comfortable with each other that you sometimes need to remember that you are not them. While you would have the added pressure of not repeating previous V Days, you pretty much don’t have high expectations anymore because you’ve nearly done it all. I would suggest a weekend away with each other to somewhere you have never been before. It doesn’t matter if it’s overseas or in the same city. Do something spontaneous! If you want an idea for an extra gift, here are my suggestions:
Gift ideas (for him): It’s well documented that boys love their toys. Depending on budget, I would suggest buying your man the latest iPad or a Kindle reader so he can read all of his manly action books in peace.
Gift ideas (for her): While I am not a wine connoisseur myself, most women can appreciate a good bottle of wine. Visit your local bottle-o and buy something expensive and old to let your woman know just how much she means to you. Top it off with a bouquet of roses, a box of chocolates, and she will realise how lucky she is to have you.

Now go off on your merry way; enjoy smelling the flowers and eating the chocolates; enjoy drinking on your wine and spending time with each other, and, most importantly, enjoy your woohoo.

– by The Black Widow