Author Archives: Nikki

Who’s Gonna Stop Ronda Rousey?

Posted in Sports by

I will happily admit that I am definitely not the person. Not because of my gender either.

I’ve always kept my eye on UFC, finding MMA an intriguing sport as, in my own words, it was “like boxing but kind of, like, not”. Watching a bunch of men beat the living shit out of each other in a cage was entertaining, sure, but it wasn’t until UFC introduced the women’s bantamweight division – their first women’s division EVER – that I truly fell in love with the sport. Again, watching men beat the living shit out of each other in a cage was entertaining, but watching two women do it was sensational. We’re talking proper let’s-get-it-on-and-smash-each-other fighting, not mini-skirt-high-heel-catfight-scratch fighting.

There's a lot to be said about a woman who looks this good and can beat you up with her eyes closed. (SOURCE: Ronda Rousey's Facebook)

There’s a lot to be said about a woman who looks this good and can beat you up with her eyes closed. (SOURCE: Ronda Rousey’s Facebook)

Current UFC Women’s Bantamweight champion and total all-around badass Ronda Rousey is undefeated in pro MMA bouts for a reason. If she hasn’t got her opponent down on the floor in a tightly sinched armbar to make them submit, she’s punching them fair in the face and then laying into them to knock them out.

A few of Ronda Rousey’s accolades include:
[x] First and current UFC Women’s Bantamweight champion
[x] Therefore making her the first UFC Women’s champion ever
[x] Undefeated professional record of 10-0-0
[x] Blockbuster star in The Expendables 3 alongside Sly Stallone, Jason Statham and Dolph Lundgren, just to name a few
[x] Multiple awards in 2013 for “Female Fighter of the Year” from different organizations
[x] The first woman to score a medal in Olympic judo for United States of America

In a similar fashion, Ronda Rousey’s victims include:
[x] Alexis Davis, an impressive fighter who was knocked out by Rousey in 16 seconds
[x] Miesha Tate, Rousey’s well documented rival who has fallen to her twice via armbar submission (but was the first woman to take her past the first round, so kudos to her.)
[x] Sara McMann, whose first loss was at the hands of Rousey
[x] Liz Carmouche, who nearly took Rousey to the second round but just fell short

I could go on and on listing what Rousey’s done in her career and who she’s beaten but the fact is simple: Ronda Rousey is outstanding.

And it seems as if she’s running out of competition…

If recent reports were to be believed, that might not be the case for much longer.

Solstice Satisfaction has decided to choose a few women who might have a shot of taking the UFC Women’s Bantamweight Championship off the woman who seems mighty freaking unstoppable:

Gina Carano
The one female MMA fighter who has made as big a name for herself as Ronda Rousey is none other than Gina Carano. As beautiful as she is deadly, the recent reports alluded to previously have suggested that Garano might make her presence known in UFC if Dana White can strike a deal with her. It’s been rumoured that if she is signed, she would shoot past all the UFC women’s bantamweight contenders and challenge Rousey for the title. The two biggest names in female MMA? Hell yes!

Cristiane “Cyborg” Justino
The only woman to have defeated Gina Carano in professional MMA is the Cyborg, a name aptly given to the woman for her freakish strength and freakish, like, everything. Marred by controversy for having a win reversed into a no decision for testing positive to an anabolic steroid, the Cyborg might be the woman who could take Rousey to her limits.

Cat Zingano
Also currently undefeated in professional MMA fights, Zingano is one of the best pound-for-pound female fighters in the world. The no#1 ranked pound-for-pound female fighter in the world? Ronda Rousey. She was the first woman to win a “Fight of the Night” award (along with Miesha Tate) and was also victorious in said fight, so that’s saying something. It would be interesting to see both Zingano and Rousey put their undefeated streaks on the line to fight each other.

Well, until Rousey is defeated – and I personally hope that takes a while because I may or may not have the biggest idol crush on Rousey – it looks as if the Rowdy one is going to take full charge of women in MMA.

Unless the new strawweights have anything to say about it.

– by The Black Widow

Video Game Clichés = ROFLMFAO

Posted in Entertainment, Video Games by

We’ve all seen them, whether we’re conscious of it or not.

For the intense or casual gamers alike, there are so many things in video games that happen so frequently that we’re not even aware of them happening. It’s almost hilarious how our mind doesn’t even register that these things that our minds are so oblivious to, realistically, are impossible.

What are these things I’m referring to?

I’m glad you asked.

Why you so cliche for, Leon?! (SOURCE: Screenshot from Resident Evil 4 game)

Why you so cliché for, Leon?! (SOURCE: Screenshot from Resident Evil 4 game)

Here are Solstice Satisfaction’s top video game clichés:

Health packs, which may also come in the form of food
Your character just got slashed by a sword about 20 times and is now on the brink of death. What do you do to fix this? You grab a conveniently located health pack that is glowing compared to the rest of the environment. I appreciate the thought put into these health packs, but I know that if I got punched in the face by Ronda Rousey, a simple white bag with a red cross on it is not going to help the situation at all. Or, if health packs aren’t your thing, let’s make a quick reference to Gauntlet Legends – which I would argue to be the most underrated game on the N64 platform – where, instead of health packs, they have pieces of meat scattered throughout the world. The best part? When your character eats that piece of meat lying on the dirt, he/she will say something like “Mmm! I like food!”

Double jumping… or pretty much just jumping in general
I don’t know about you, but I don’t do much jumping in my personal life. The only time I can think of when a jump is necessary in my life is when I need to get higher up on the pole I’m about to swing on. Other than that, if a certain area is too high for me, you can bet your bottom dollar I’m not going to jump around to get up to it. I’d find a ladder of some sort like a normal person. Some video games, however, stretch this idea by making it possible to jump… and then jump again from mid air. Just imagine if that were possible. Seriously. Imagine all these people jumping in mid air. It’d be hilarious.

Invisible walls, hopefully a thing of the past
For some reason, you want to read what’s on the back of that vending machine in the corner. You run to it. Hey! You can’t get any closer because there seems to be some impenetrable force blocking you. Congratulations! You have just run into an invisible wall! Seen less and less these days due to the ever increasing video games and open world RPGs, the invisible wall deserves its spot in video game history and not present. Speaking of walls…

Running a marathon, in the same spot, against a wall
I can’t even begin to describe just how funny this is. You’re running your character through the area and you’ve come up against a wall. You didn’t have enough time to turn the character around, so it’s simply just going to keep running against the wall, not actually moving and not actually blasting the wall like a normal person would. I tried running against a wall like this once as a child… it did not turn out okay.

Male protagonists, damsels in distress
I can’t even begin to count how many games I’ve played where you are forced to play a male character and along the way, there is some poor womanly soul who needs rescuing. I don’t know about you but this cliché is mega outdated. I mean, put this way; who would be the saviour and who would be the victim in the duo of Ronda Rousey and the bloke who plays Ron Weasley? Think about it. Girls kick ass too.

No sleep, no bladder, no worries!
Have you ever noticed how the character you are controlling never has to eat, use the toilet, sleep, or sit down? I mean, if you think about it, they’ve only been scouring the lands since about 40 hours of gameplay ago. Surely they’ve got the runs. Or an insane desire to down a Big Mac. But no. Video game characters aren’t really human after all.

Quick time events… but why?
Nothing is worse than watching a cutscene in the middle of a game you’re playing and then realising that it isn’t a cut scene and is in fact a quick time event but because you got too lazy, you ended up missing the quick time action and dying. Maybe that’s just me, but these quick time events – which are basically like interactive scenes and not actual gameplay – are so annoying that I’m sad to see Resident Evil 4 use them a lot. Such a brilliant game tainted with such stupid quick time events.

If you have any other hated clichés, let us know in the comments.

– by The Black Widow

The Intentional Loss of IQ Points

Posted in Lifestyle by

This may just be me, but I’m sure more people out there do this.

Do you really Eva? DO YOU REALLY? (SOURCE: E! Online website)

Do you really Eva? DO YOU REALLY? (SOURCE: E! Online website)

For the purpose of this article, I will be using a fictional girl named Samantha. Now, the heroine of our story is studying a degree in psychology at a well renowned university in Sydney. She is getting good grades in all of her units and has an above average IQ. Samantha is also a very physically attractive girl who would rather bury her nose in books than take shots on a Saturday night. She also works part time in a fashion boutique.

Enter James, the strapping young Dave Franco look-a-like who walks into Samantha’s place of employment looking for a nice button-up shirt to wear to a dinner.

“Hi,” he says with a bright perfectly toothed smile, “do you have any nice shirts I could wear tonight? I’m going to a formal dinner and need to look somewhat presentable.”

Samantha, who usually doesn’t let anyone else jeopardise her intelligence, begins giggling and twirling the ends of her hair – a very uncharacteristic trait for Samantha – and motions him towards a fine range of silky cotton shirts she has.

“These are great,” exclaims James, “I think I might grab two. How much would that be?”

Knowing quite well that two shirts would equal to $100, Samantha continues to giggle and places her hands on her hips.

“Oh my god,” she says delightfully, “I can’t add that in my head. I totes haven’t done math since like high school.”

James, completely oblivious to Samantha’s flirting, grabs two shirts and enters the dressing room to try them on.

“Tell me how you go in there, babe,” Samantha says, a word that doesn’t exist in Samantha’s vocabulary.

What is it about being in the presence of attractive or inspiring people that automatically renders someone slightly less intelligent than usual? I know I suffer from this and most of the time, I’m not even doing it on purpose.

I recall a time that only happened recently where I was talking to someone, trying to look calm and cultured, and while this conversation was happening, I was urging myself not to touch my hair (a body language gesture that is usually associated with someone who’s absent-minded and vacuous) even though I don’t even have hair to play with.

I don’t even want to delve into how many times I’ve awkwardly giggled at someone even if what they had said or done wasn’t even the slightest but funny.

Samantha’s situation could be the same from a guy’s perspective when they do “rebellious” things that are not of their nature.

Why does this happen though? Why do people feel as if they need to dumb themselves down to impress someone when an intellectual conversation on worldly matters is more than or equally attractive to a pair of half-exposed breasts or some cheese grater abs.

I personally think that celebrity culture – movies, books, TV shows, etc. – have made it seem like playing dumb for a guy or a girl will make you seem more attractive to them. While it may work for some people, it is not always the case. I’m in the mindset that “being who you truly are” is the most attractive thing a person can be because you can tell that they are comfortable in their own skin.

Sure, there are times when playing dumb will work to your advantage – getting out of a fine anyone? – but truth be known that intelligence is sexy. Lord knows I find someone more interesting if they have a wide range of interests as opposed to someone who likes “working out at the gym 24/7”.

I cannot drill this in enough; be who you truly are and the type of person that you want to attract will come barging your door down.

And please, cut the “I can’t even” talk down. So cringeworthy.

– by The Black Widow

What We Learned in Origin 2014

Posted in Sports by

The biggest sporting series in Australia is now over.

State of Origin 2014 saw angry words thrown around, dodgy calls made by the refs, butterfingers dropping balls at the most crucial times, and people not seeing a pass being thrown at them. Oh, and Oscar winning “injury” performances from players.

But if there are a few specific things that we have learned over the Origin series, these would be it:

(DISCLAIMER: As a loyal Queensland supporter, I will try my darndest to be as liberal as possible regarding the situation)

Because if anyone was going to be the thumbnail of this piece, it was Cozza. (SOURCE: Queensland Maroons Facebook page)

Because if anyone was going to be the thumbnail of this piece, it was Cozza. (SOURCE: Queensland Maroons Facebook page)


1. Corey Parker can offload from a boat in Switzerland completely blindfolded and still do it properly
Now I’m not just saying this because he is so obviously my most favourite player in the game – and possibly one of my biggest idols in the world – but Corey Parker is the King of offloads. While he missed game two due to an unfortunate facial fracture, Parker’s performances in game one and three were so outstanding that even I was surprised of all the tricks he was pulling out of his tight sleeves. It’s just like… how? His performance last night in game three was definitely worthy of the Man of the Match award he was so rightfully given. Well done, Cozza!

2. Trent Hodkinson is as great as everyone makes him out to be
I was personally not sold on Hodkinson being the halfback for NSW because I didn’t think he was that great in the Doggies. I just thought he was okay… above average at best. However, Hodkinson and his dark, dark soulless eyes proved me wrong, especially in game two where he brokeded my heart and won the series for NSW. Sadface. He’s actually a stellar playmaker for both the Blues and the Doggies and I will go on the record and apologise for selling him short.

3. Not everyone is cut out for Origin
So I went into the series believing that Dave Taylor was the most in-form forward in the league and it was a travesty that he wasn’t selected to be part of the team for game one. Alas, in game two, my prayers were answered, and Taylor proved me… wrong. I would literally cringe watching him get the ball because I knew it would be a matter of time before he dropped it. The same could be said for Matt Gillett and Chris McQueen. Both of these Queensland players are outstanding in their respective clubs – Gillett being in best career form for the Broncos – but in the Maroons side, they kind of failed. The same could be said about last year’s Blues halves, Mitchell Pearce and James Maloney.

4. Origin is more emotional than people think
During the last moments of game two, my anxiety kicked in and I literally had a panic attack over the game. After we lost the series in the most disappointing game two I’ve ever seen, you know what I did? I cried. I shed actual tears over a rugby league game. I retired to my bedroom to cry some more, and then my sister joined me, and then we ate Maltesers in the dark in complete silence. If that alone doesn’t highlight just how emotional this game can get, you’re kidding yourself.

5. Queensland isn’t unstoppable
Some footy fans were lulled into a false sense of security because our side has outstanding players, “The Big Four” included. Couple that with our eight in a row series wins and I went into the series thinking that we had this in the bag. I felt generally safe, thinking that until Slater, Cronk, Smith and Inglis would retire, we’d always win. Well, clearly we didn’t. When it comes down to it, the Blues played better overall and as much as I don’t like it, they deserved to win this year.

6. The no punching rule is stupid
I miss Origin biffs. Bring them back please. All these “let’s get into each other’s faces and breathe deeply and not do anything and mutter angry words to each other” situations are really pathetic. I was expecting to see some fists flying last night because, hey, NSW had already won, but no. It’s just part of the rugby league culture to get into a physical disagreement now and then. Deal with it.

7. Hayne is not better than Slater
The rivalry between these two players has been well documented over the years, so much that some Blues enthusiasts have said that Hayne is better than Slater. Well, Queensland fan or not, that is simply not true. If not demonstrated by Slater’s performance versus Hayne’s performance, Slater is clearly the more talented fullback. Even if he does get away with a couple of misdemeanours that others can’t.

8. The referees need some serious counselling
Now, I’m not going to single out one individual ref, but I think the NRL referees in general need some guidance when it comes to calling the most important rugby league series of the year. Too many times have we seen stupid calls made this year and that alone has ruined the spirit and buzz of Origin. Please, referees, I have four words for you: sort your shit out.

Needless to say, congrats to the Blues and their very aggressive fans. You finally broke our streak. But we’ll be taking our trophy back next year, thanks.

CALL TO ME, CALL TO MEEEEEE.

– by The Black Widow