Happy 35th Anniversary to My Parents!

My parents are honestly couple goals.

On this date 35 years ago, my parents got married. And what is amazing about this is that each day, they fall more in love with each other. If you hear that old trope that “marriage ruins relationships”, then let me be the one to tell you that is false because my parents are living proof of this.

This was taken exactly two years ago, when my sisters and I crashed their anniversary dinner. What legends.

In their time together, they’ve had five children, – one obviously better than the other and I am definitely talking about myself here – countless amounts of homes, about five dogs (correct me if I am wrong), and one hell of a journey together.

As a sort of present to them, and a way to celebrate their coral/jade anniversary, I gave them both a quick questionnaire to answer about the other. Here is what they had to say:

1. When and where did you meet dad? How old were you and how old was he? He was 14 and I saw him at a basketball game. I was 16.
2. What was your first impression of him? Didn’t think much of him.
3. When and where was your first date? At the movies on Queen Street in November 1976.
4. What did his parents think of you when they first met you? I never met them (when we were dating).
5. When and where was your first kiss? At the movie.
6. How did he propose? What was his first reaction? He proposed on the step of my house in November 1982.
7. What were your first thoughts when you saw him at your wedding? Grey. He was wearing grey.
8. How many kids did you plan to have? At least two.
9. What is your favourite memory with him? When Toni was sitting on the bed, she was sitting on the bed in her white dress and it took his breath away.
10. What is your favourite thing about him now? He is the most handsome man in the whole wide world.

1. When and where did you meet mum? How old were you and how old was she? Newmarket in Auckland, New Zealand. I was 16 and she was 18.
2. What was your first impression of her? I had no impression.
3. When and where was your first date? Movie on Friday night in Auckland city
4. What did her parents think of you when they first met you? I’m not too sure. They were very open and friendly.
5. When and where was your first kiss? The movie in Auckland on our first date.
6. How did you propose? What was her first reaction? I asked her in front of her home. She was happy.
7. What were your first thoughts when you saw her at your wedding? I’m getting married to her.
8. How many kids did you plan to have? No real number.
9. What is your favourite memory with her? In the temple when we got married and had Toni and Stacie sealed to us.
10. What is your favourite thing about her now? Her support for me and the family.

Besides some slight miscommunication on question one (looks at dad), and also I’m pretty sure both of their favourite memories together was having their fifth and final child, they are truly the most perfect couple! Happy anniversary mum and dad! I love you a bunch!

– by The Black Widow

My Very Specific View on Marriage

Marriage isn’t for everyone. If anything has been made clear in the 21st century, it is that.

In today’s society, it is rare and almost a huge a shock if a celebrity couple get married and stay married. Divorce isn’t a weird concept anymore and rough figures suggest that almost half of marriages end in divorce.

In my sweet and humble opinion (IMSAHO, for future reference), I attribute this to one simple thing (or two if you really think about it). One thing that nearly every couple does. One thing that has been customary so no one really thinks too much of it. One thing that, when you really think about it, is not necessary to marriage at all.

This one thing is weddings (and honeymoons).

What problem could I have with these two lovebirds? Read on and find out. (SOURCE: Andrew Morrell's Flickr photostream)

What problem could I have with these two lovebirds? Read on and find out. (SOURCE: Andrew Morrell’s Flickr photostream)

Watching wedding shows like Don’t Tell the Bride and Say Yes to the Dress have me draw my own conclusion: people are way more focused on the materialistic things of the wedding that they are forgetting the most important of any wedding… getting married to the person that you love.

In these shows – and from my other observations – it’s evident that couples care way too much about what other people think about them; therefore, they spend all this money on having the best venues and the best food and the best gowns and tuxedos that they forget that they are eternally binding themselves to one person for the rest of their lives because they are in love. Forking out thousands upon thousands of dollars for a 2+ hour ceremony celebrating two people is, to me, ridiculous and unnecessary.

Sure, there may be other problems in the marriage that may cause a couple to divorce: adultery, a different view on the future, or my personal favourite, “irreconcilable differences”, but I think that if two people are getting married for the right reasons – binding yourself to the love of your life because you want to spend the rest of your lives together – then they will last longer than the couple who are looking forward to their honeymoon more than their future of growing old together and rocking on wooden chairs holding hands.

Think about all the money that goes to weddings and honeymoons that could go to better use somewhere. A car? A house? Savings? These TV programmes that show women forking out up to $250,000 for a wedding and honeymoon are, excuse my French, fucked up.

If I were to ever get married, should I choose to, there will be no wedding. No honeymoon. No reception. No food. None of that crap. We will go to a small chapel with only the priest and a witness (if necessary), elope, and then go home and sleep in our bed as if nothing special happened. Then, and only then, will we tell our family and friends the next day that we got married.

I get that your loved ones want to celebrate your marriage and your love and that’s fine. They can just do it in their own time.

As for me, if it were to be my dream scenario? I would get eloped in a onesie. With ug boots on.

And I would be the happiest man alive.

– by The Black Widow

Dating Nikki: Popping the question

Are you sure you’re ready to go that that stage of the relationship?

So you’ve been with your significant other for quite some time (time variable depending on the relationship) and you love them. That’s good! But now, you love them so much that you want to take your relationship further… as in “Let’s grow old together and have babies” further.


Hang in there, mate. It gets easier. (SOURCE: Shawn Paradis' Flickr photostream)

Hang in there, mate. It gets easier. (SOURCE: Shawn Paradis’ Flickr photostream)

Popping the all-important question is a daunting task for anyone to endure, male or female. It’s not as if asking someone (or trapping them) to spend the rest of their lives with you is a walk in the park.  The proposal is not only just from the male nowadays, which is something I rather enjoy. More women are getting down on their knee to propose to their loved ones, so girls, this one applies to you as well.

Before I get on my usual high horse where I’m dishing out advice left right and centre, it’s important that I note that I’ve never proposed to anyone nor have I ever been proposed to (tear) so I am not speaking from personal experience here, but more from what I think you should do, from other people’s positive experiences to what I would like in a future proposal.

Be confident, b-e confident
Nothing would be unsexier or more uncomfortable than watching someone scratch themselves, sweat up a storm and stutter because they are that nervous. Walk into that intimate setting with your head held high and own it. Own what you’re about to do. Drop down to that knee, never taking your eye off that other person, and pop the question. Of course, don’t go overboard that you end up sounding like “Oi babe, marry me hey”, because that is a douchey thing to do. Deliver your message firmly. The other person will be so blown away that they will happily accept your proposal, regardless of your cooking ability.

Have a game plan
If you plan on going into this proposal and “winging it”, you will be sad to hear that you will fail miserably. Winging something as important as the life-changing proposal is a silly mistake, so if you’ve got the ring and you haven’t got the yes yet, come up with a plan. Where will you be? How are you going to do it? What is going to make your proposal better than any ol’ proposal? How are you going to deliver the proposal? These questions and more should be answered and plotted in your proposal to make sure that it’s effortless and… FLAWLESS!

Know his/her ring size!
She’s said yes. You’re elated. You go to slip that ring on her finger… oops, her finger’s too fat. Your moment is ruined. This is a problem that most men (sorry to be gender specific) have an issue with. You can’t outright ask them what their ring size is because then they’ll know what you’re up to. Your best bet? Steal one of his/her rings and take it to a jeweller and ask what size that is. Alternatively, you could ask his/her friend for a little help. It’s common knowledge that best friends share everything, but with something as huge as a proposal? You’ll have nothing to worry about.

Be prepared for the worst
I know this is kind of a morbid thing to say, but say things don’t exactly go your way when you’ve proposed… you will need a back up plan. In case this happens, it’ll make the situation all the more awkward if you’re still on your knee staring at them with the blankest expression on your face. Get up. Shrug it off. Tell them that you still love them regardless. Quietly die inside. Quietly.

To anyone who is thinking of popping the question any time soon, good luck! We here at Solstice Satisfaction wish you and your partner well in your future!

– by The Black Widow