Dating Nikki: Popping the question

Are you sure you’re ready to go that that stage of the relationship?

So you’ve been with your significant other for quite some time (time variable depending on the relationship) and you love them. That’s good! But now, you love them so much that you want to take your relationship further… as in “Let’s grow old together and have babies” further.


Hang in there, mate. It gets easier. (SOURCE: Shawn Paradis' Flickr photostream)

Hang in there, mate. It gets easier. (SOURCE: Shawn Paradis’ Flickr photostream)

Popping the all-important question is a daunting task for anyone to endure, male or female. It’s not as if asking someone (or trapping them) to spend the rest of their lives with you is a walk in the park.  The proposal is not only just from the male nowadays, which is something I rather enjoy. More women are getting down on their knee to propose to their loved ones, so girls, this one applies to you as well.

Before I get on my usual high horse where I’m dishing out advice left right and centre, it’s important that I note that I’ve never proposed to anyone nor have I ever been proposed to (tear) so I am not speaking from personal experience here, but more from what I think you should do, from other people’s positive experiences to what I would like in a future proposal.

Be confident, b-e confident
Nothing would be unsexier or more uncomfortable than watching someone scratch themselves, sweat up a storm and stutter because they are that nervous. Walk into that intimate setting with your head held high and own it. Own what you’re about to do. Drop down to that knee, never taking your eye off that other person, and pop the question. Of course, don’t go overboard that you end up sounding like “Oi babe, marry me hey”, because that is a douchey thing to do. Deliver your message firmly. The other person will be so blown away that they will happily accept your proposal, regardless of your cooking ability.

Have a game plan
If you plan on going into this proposal and “winging it”, you will be sad to hear that you will fail miserably. Winging something as important as the life-changing proposal is a silly mistake, so if you’ve got the ring and you haven’t got the yes yet, come up with a plan. Where will you be? How are you going to do it? What is going to make your proposal better than any ol’ proposal? How are you going to deliver the proposal? These questions and more should be answered and plotted in your proposal to make sure that it’s effortless and… FLAWLESS!

Know his/her ring size!
She’s said yes. You’re elated. You go to slip that ring on her finger… oops, her finger’s too fat. Your moment is ruined. This is a problem that most men (sorry to be gender specific) have an issue with. You can’t outright ask them what their ring size is because then they’ll know what you’re up to. Your best bet? Steal one of his/her rings and take it to a jeweller and ask what size that is. Alternatively, you could ask his/her friend for a little help. It’s common knowledge that best friends share everything, but with something as huge as a proposal? You’ll have nothing to worry about.

Be prepared for the worst
I know this is kind of a morbid thing to say, but say things don’t exactly go your way when you’ve proposed… you will need a back up plan. In case this happens, it’ll make the situation all the more awkward if you’re still on your knee staring at them with the blankest expression on your face. Get up. Shrug it off. Tell them that you still love them regardless. Quietly die inside. Quietly.

To anyone who is thinking of popping the question any time soon, good luck! We here at Solstice Satisfaction wish you and your partner well in your future!

– by The Black Widow

Avoiding Gold Rings at Christmas

It is impossible to deny that Christmas is the most romantic time of year. While Valentine’s Day is the day for heart shaped chocolates and long-stemmed red roses, Christmas is the time to spend with the people you love most, sharing in traditions and showering them with presents. It’s time to snuggle up with someone special and watch The Holiday, pretending just for a second that you’re actually cosied up to Jude Law instead of them.

It is not, no matter how much mistletoe you find yourself under or how many glasses of spiked eggnog you’ve had, a time to get engaged. As my brother so perfectly put it ‘A spouse is forever, not just for Christmas.’

At Christmas, little tiny boxes are only good when they contain big diamond earrings

At Christmas, little tiny boxes are only good when they contain big diamond earrings

It’s easy to get brainwashed into dropping down on one knee this time of year, as everything from your girlfriend to Jewellery stores and Christmas carols are conditioning you to believe a grand proposal was your idea.

It all starts with the ‘casual’ linger near a jewellery shop window and a nonchalant “That’s nice, isn’t it?” as she points to the vintage Cartier.  It’ll take a while for that to sink in, and before you’ve really had time to realise what it means, the lady in your life will have moved on to step two.

You’ll start to notice the jewellery catalogues ‘subtly’ left around the house, open to the pages of big, shiny diamonds. Of course, at this stage she’s still playing coy and won’t mention them, or even ask if you’ve seen them.

Next she’ll start singing Christmas carols around the house with a flirty grin on her face. You think she’s just being cute but you’re wrong. If you listen closely, she’s singing All I want for Christmas and the one line from Winter Wonderland that goes “he’ll say are you married, we’ll say no man/ but you can do the job when you’re in town.”

Then, just when you think she’s given up, BAM! she invites her best girlfriends over for pre-Christmas drinks. Directly upon arrival at your house, they will begin with the subtle-as-a-sledgehammer comments like ‘So, any special plans for Christmas?’ and when they’re slightly more drunk the classic ‘Just between you and me, what have you got *insert name here* for Christmas? Diamonds, hmmmm?’ Finally, when both the bottles of champagne are gone and they’ve cracked open the red, those three drunken women will simply start humming the wedding tune while your girlfriends pretends to admonish but is secretly reading your reaction for signs of an impending proposal.

At this point, you’re starting to think it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to drop down on one knee and surprise her at the annual family barbeque. After all, her whole family will be there and a ring is better than the melamine mixing bowls you’ve bought her for Christmas, right? WRONG.

Stay strong, my friend. Your New Year’s Resolutions were going to be to spend less money, stress less and eat healthier. You can’t do any of those things when you’re still dealing with the residual stress of spending time with your family and your new fiancé is already planning your wedding at a million miles an hour.

Pick a random Tuesday at some point in March, take her to the local pub and pop the question over a parma and beers. No muss, no fuss and hopefully no regret.

– by Blaire Gillies